Two-Faced Nikki


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Nikki Haley is just as smarmy, two-faced, deceitful, disingenuous, and chock-full-o-bullshit as lying Ted Cruz, except she’s prettier.

While slimy Ted was rushing back to Texas, making sure he was seen wearing a face mask with a Texas flag on it, Nikki was rushing to get inside Mara-a-Lago, hoping to be branded with a MAGA flag. But Donald Trump nixed that.

On January 12, Politico published a story on Nikki where she said about Trump, “I think he’s lost any sort of political viability he was going to have. We need to acknowledge Trump let us down….He went down a path he shouldn’t have, and we shouldn’t have followed him.”

Shouldn’t have followed him? This from his former Ambassador to the United Nations who intimidated tiny third-world countries to support Trump policies, or they wouldn’t be invited to her parties? Seriously, she did that.

Before Trump secured the nomination in 2016, Nikki was a Marco backer and laughed and laughed when he made fun of Trump’s tiny penis. By the time the Republican National Convention rolled around, Nikki was all aboard the Trump train. She knew Trump would be short on support from minorities and women…and dang it all, she was both. Like Ted Cruz who was big enough to forgive Donald Trump for calling his wife ugly and his father a murderer, Nikki planted her lips firmly on that wide orange Trump caboose.

Nikki wants to be president someday and she knew she needed more experience than being governor of the state that sends the biggest flipflopping no-backbone ass-kissing shitweasel lapdog to the United States Senate. She needed some foreign policy…what’s that word? Oh yeah, experience.

Before Trump’s MAGA goons conducted a terrorist attack on our Capitol and tried to overturn the election, Nikki was enabling Trump’s sedition. She refused to condemn the Big Lie that the election was stolen and even tried to help Trump out. In another Politico story before the bloody coup attempt, Nikki said, “I understand the president. I understand that genuinely, to his core, he believes he was wronged. This is not him making it up.”

As Sarah Marshall said in the movie, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.” Donald Trump knew he was “making it up.” This isn’t like someone believing in Bigfoot without any proof, or an expert at “finding Sasquatch” who’s never found Sasquatch (seriously, they’re just experts at being lost in the woods). This was the president (sic) of the United States making shit up. And Nikki, you enabled it.

Now that Nikki turned around and condemned the attack and placed the blame firmly where it belongs, she’s trying to spin her head around again and suck up to Trump. She can’t praise Trump, then tell the truth about his inciting a terrorist attack, then turn around and try to get his warm icky affection again. Who does she think she is? Kevin McCarthy?

The House Minority Leader, Kevin McCarthy, gave a speech laying the blame of the attack on Donald Trump. According to reports, during the attack, Trump and McCarthy were on the phone in a screaming match. McCarthy was trying to get Trump to call off his goons while they were banging on his doors trying to kill him and all Trump wanted to do was first, say it was Antifa, and when corrected, said they were people who cared more about the “stolen election” than Kevin McCarthy did. Later, McCarthy flew down to Mar-a-Lago, made sure a photo came out of him standing next to Trump in what may be the most hideously-decorated room in the world, and groveled for Trump’s icky affection and his donor list. He only got one of those and unfortunately, it was the icky affection.

Mitch McConnell hasn’t made that trip yet. But, his actions don’t make much sense. The Senate MINORITY (I love typing that) Leader blamed the MAGA terrorist attack firmly on Trump and even said he may face criminal charges…right after he voted to acquit Trump. Huh? Of course, Trump didn’t like those words so he issued a statement (because he can’t tweet anymore).

Trump’s statement said, “Mitch is a dour, sullen, and unsmiling political hack, and if Republican Senators are going to stay with him, they will not win again.”

Apparently, it could have been even worse as advisors advised that he take out a parts that included “lots of repetitive stuff and definitely something about him having too many chins but not enough smarts.” That almost makes you miss Trump’s Twitter account. Were they as good as, “Mitch McConnell has more chins than a Hong Kong phone book”? Oh, that’ll slay at the next MAGA rally.

Mitch loved Trump until he couldn’t get anything out of him anymore. Mitch got a whole bunch of judges and huge corporate tax cuts out of Trump and then like a pair of old socks with holes in them that haven’t been washed ever, he threw Trump away. And the same went for Trump. He got everything he could out of Mitch and like an old pair of socks with holes in them that started with the back talk, he threw him away.

You can’t just stick a toe in the orange Kool-Aid. You have to dive in and get your hair wet. After condemning Trump, Nikki sought an audience with him at the golf resort he lives in, but she got snubbed. It’s pretty heavy when Donald Trump won’t let you in to kiss his ass. This is Donald Trump, the same guy who once held a cabinet meeting where everyone took turns kissing his ass.

But Nikki really wants to be elected president in 2024…like a whole bunch of other Republicans. They’re all going to be after that Trump base and several, like Nikki, will try to criticize Trump while appealing to him. But I bet the love for Donald Trump fades. No, not with his terrorist racist base, but with the general public. I don’t see President Biden being so bad that people start thinking, “Man, I wish we had some more Trump,” except for, you know, Nazis.

Donald Trump will probably run for president again unless he’s in prison, too occupied with his debt, lawsuits, and criminal charges, has fled the country to live in a Moscow condo, or finally been gotten by a gator on his golf course. I have ten bucks on the gator. C’mon, gator!!! Daddy needs a new pair of socks! Who am I kidding? Trump would just throw Lindsey Graham at it as a distraction.

I don’t vote for ass kissers so I will not be voting for Nikki Haley…ever. And since I don’t vote for ass kissers that means I will never vote for a Republican ever again.

People like Nikki probably don’t feel any sense of shame groveling to Donald Trump because they already sold out long ago. For Nikki and her fellow Republicans, your soul is gone and there’s no getting it back. It’s just too bad she’s not entirely like Ted Cruz because if she was, then she wouldn’t know what she was missing because she never had a soul.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have NINE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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3 comments

  1. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Once you take a sip of that Kool-Aid … “People like Nikki probably don’t feel any sense of shame groveling to Donald Trump because they already sold out long ago. For Nikki and her fellow Republicans, your soul is gone and there’s no getting it back.”

    Liked by 1 person

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