Maralago

Friends in Low Low Low Low Low Low Places


Oath Keepers founder Stewart Rhodes and his colleague Kelly Meggs were found guilty yesterday of seditious conspiracy by a jury after a two-month federal trial. They were also found guilty of obstruction of an official proceeding, along with fellow Oath Keepers Jessica Watkins, Thomas Caldwell, and Kenneth Harrelson. These charges stem from the attack on the Capitol on January 6, 2021, in order to stop Congress from certifying the election of Joe Biden, overthrow the government, and install Donald Trump as an unelected Oompa Loompa Cheeto-stained dictator.

Prosecutors say Rhodes acted as a “battlefield general” during the riots, and was also found guilty of tampering with documents or proceedings.

In order to be convicted of seditious conspiracy, prosecutors must prove that two or more people conspired to “overthrow, put down or to destroy by force” the US government, or that they planned to use force to oppose US authority. There were definitely more than two people involved in this conspiracy. A third person tweeted for them to come to Washington on January 6, 2021, promising it was “going to be wild.” That same person also gave them a speech before the riot, instructing them to “walk” to the Capitol.

The charge of seditious conspiracy was first created during the Civil War era to stop southerners from fighting against the U.S. government. It’s an extremely rare charge and the Justice Department is reluctant to use it. This was the first conviction of seditious conspiracy in the United States since 1995 when 10 Islamist militants were convicted for trying to plant bombs at New York City landmarks.

These five Oath Keepers are just a few of the over 900 MAGAts who have been arrested in connection to the insurrection on January 6, 2021.

The Oath Keepers were looking for trouble on January 6. They stashed weapons in a Virginia hotel room with plans to retrieve them in the event of massive disorder. Defense attorneys argued that the Oath Keepers were only there to preserve the peace and protect people inside and outside the Capitol from the riot they help start.

In multiple encrypted chat conversations before the riot, Rhodes expressed hope that Trump would invoke the Insurrection Act, which he believed would “nullify” D.C. gun laws and all other restrictions on violent behavior.

The jury got to see a text sent from Rhodes to his followers during the riot saying, “Rise up in insurrection”. In case you’re a Republican, the text did not say “rise up in tourism.”

These were not tourists as some Congressmen, who ran for their lives on January 6, have claimed. These were terrorists encouraged, invited, and instigated by Donald Trump, who told them to be in the capital on January 6 to stop the certification, tweeting that it was “going to be wild.” Twitter banned Trump for using their platform to coordinate a terrorist attack but after purchasing it, Elon reinstated Trump in the belief that rounding up white nationalist terrorists to overthrow the government is free speech.

This verdict is vindication for the Justice Department and Attorney General Merrick Garland as it shows these investigations are NOT political or designed to go after people merely for being conservatives or Trump supporters. It also shows that it’s not a political attack against President Biden’s potential opponent in 2024. These goons were found guilty by a jury of their peers.

Just as the Shoe Bomber wasn’t charged and prosecuted because he’s Muslim, January 6 insurrectionists are not being persecuted because they’re Trump supporters. They’re terrorsists.

Now, as the newly-appointed Special Counsel investigates Donald Trump’s involvement in the coup, among other things, the event on January 6, and the attempts to steal the election in the days and weeks before the attack, can now be described in court as sedition.

Donald Trump knew he lost the election. Members of his staff have testified he was told this. There was no way Donald Trump honestly believed he won the election. He’s just a liar. He knew he lost and he knew his attempts to reverse the outcome were illegal. Donald Trump knew he was committing sedition.

Like he did with Holocaust-denying white supremacist Nick Fuentes who was Kanye West’s companion for dinner at Mar-a-Lago, I’m sure Trump will claim he doesn’t know who the Oath Keepers were, even though Rhodes was in contact with the Secret Service at least before January 6, and also with Trump pal and pardon recipient Roger Stone on the day of the attack. Rhodes may have been passing messages to Trump through Stone.

Rhodes and Kelly can receive sentences of up to 20 years after being convicted of seditious conspiracy. I hope Trump receives the same. And then Trump can have lunches every day with white supremacists and Holocaust deniers.

Music Note: I listened to The Verve Pipe, and not just the song “Bittersweet Symphony.”

Update: My friend Quannah informed me that I was listening to The Verve and NOT The Verve Pipe. I’ve been confusing those bands for each other for over 30 years. The Verve is a British band and Verve Pipe are American. Or was Verve American and the Pipe Verve British? Shit.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Guess What’s Coming To Dinner


I’m writing this from Chicago in the Midway Airport where I’m enjoying a $12.00 Blue Moon.

I’m calling bullshit on Donald Trump’s explanation for having dinner with noted white supremacist Nick Fuentes. And what’s up with a guy of Mexican heritage being a white supremacist? That’d be like me hating white people. Come to think of it, white people can be very annoying. Just this morning at one of the cafes in the Memphis airport, a white blond Karen was stepping in front of people waiting for their names to be called to pick up their orders, to see why hers wasn’t ready yet. “You haven’t called my name yet and I have a plane to catch,” like everyone else was in the terminal just for the cuisine.

But last week, Donald Trump hosted Kanye West, or Ye, at Mar-a-Lago where they had dinner. Coming along for the ride and possibly Mar-a-Lago hater tots was Nick Fuentes, a white supremacist who has denied the Holocaust. Reportedly, Ye wanted advice from Donald Trump on handling his business after several corporations dumped him for antisemitic comments.

Hey, Ye… I have some business advice for you. After losing sponsorships over antisemitism, don’t hang out with white supremacist Holocaust deniers.

Trump claimed he didn’t know who Nick Fuentes was and issued a statement last Friday after it became public and even some Republicans issued statements saying it wasn’t a good idea. Arkansas governor Asa Hutchinson said, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for a leader that’s setting an example for the country or the party to meet with an avowed racist or antisemite.” It’s normal now for Republicans to have to issue statements saying chowing down with white supremacists in your house isn’t a good idea. Do you know why Democrats never issue statements saying don’t hang out and have dinner with racists? Because Democrats don’t have dinner with racists.

Trump said, “Kanye West (It’s Ye, motherfucker) very much wanted to visit Mar-a-Lago. Our dinner meeting was intended to be Kanye and me only, but he arrived with a guest whom I had never met and knew nothing about.”

After more scorn was heaped on him, Trump issued another statement saying, “So I help a seriously troubled man, who just happens to be black, Ye (so now it’s Ye, who Trump had to tell us is black), who has been decimated in his business and virtually everything else and who has always been good to me, by allowing his request for a meeting at Mar-a-Lago, alone, so that I can give him very much needed ‘advice.” That’s how you know Ye is troubled because he wants business advice from the guy who’s destroyed every business he’s ever started. You know what they didn’t eat at that dinner? Trump Steaks.

But Trump elaborated. “He shows up with three people, two of which I didn’t know, the other a political person who I haven’t seen in years. I told him “don’t run for office, a total waste of time, can’t win.” Fake News went CRAZY!”

Apparently, Ye missed Trump’s announcement that he’s running for president because Ye is also running and asked Trump to be his running mate. Yes, Ye is troubled.

But again, how did this white supremacist get inside Mar-a-Lago with all the other white supremacists?

Here’s where I call bullshit on Trump claiming he didn’t know who Fuentes was and that Ye just showed up with unexpected guests. Trump has Secret Service protection. I guess it’s possible for surprise visitors to show up at Mar-a-Lago but these guys are extremely particular about who former presidents (sic) spend time with. And sure, it may be hard to police everyone who walks into Mar-a-Lago since it’s a country club and even stolen classified documents have been stored there, but it just seems bizarre that the Secret Service was unaware a holocaust white supremacist was coming for dinner.

Also, Trump claims he didn’t know the guy and we all know Trump is a liar.

Goodbye from, Chicago.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Special Master’s Master


A federal judge intervened yesterday in the case of Donald Trump stealing government documents, many of which are classified, and appointed an independent arbiter, known as a “Special Master,” to review the over 11,000 documents to determine which should be deemed attorney/client privilege and executive privilege.

On paper, this sounds fair. Golly gee wilikers, this will be an independent person who makes sure both sides are treated equally. But it’s not fair. It’s bullshit. This Special Master will choose what material the government can’t use to investigate Donald Trump.

As Sarah Marshall said in the film, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.”

Donald Trump waited two weeks after the FBI served a search warrant on his country club to find stolen government documents. After Trump’s request for a Special Master, the Department of Justice’s response included photos of classified documents (under covers) proving that at the very least, Trump possessed these documents and was obstructing justice by still having them.

How does Donald Trump’s inept lawyers win this ruling when it took them over two weeks to come up with the simple strategy of asking for a Special Master? Easy. They got an inept judge.

The Special Master isn’t needed in this case as most of the documents have already been analyzed. Now, the judge has ordered that none of the material can be used to investigate Trump until the Special Master has finished going over the 11,000 documents. You would think the Special Master would only need to go over documents between Trump and his lawyers, but no. The judge threw a huge wrench into this case.

DOJ can appeal this but that process may take longer than the Special Master’s review. Also, any appeal would be heard by a three-judge panel from the United States Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit in Atlanta. Of its 11 active judges, six were appointed by… wait for it… Donald Trump. So, when three of its 11 judges go review an appeal to investigate Donald Trump, all three of them may be Trump appointees.

And, if DOJ won an appeal through a Trump-contaminated federal court, Trump could appeal to the Supreme Court, who may or may not take it, but you know they’d take it. There are three Trump appointees on that court along with Ginni Thomas’ husband. This is a bunch of Chancellor Palpatine shit. Mace Windu was right to try to cut his head off.

This judge in Palm Beach ruling in Trump’s favor said she had made her decisions to “ensure at least the appearance of fairness and integrity under the extraordinary circumstances,” while rejecting the Justice Department’s implicit argument that Trump be treated like any other investigative subject.

What would have really ensured the “appearance of fairness and integrity under the extraordinary circumstances” would have been if this Trump-appointed wingnut judge had recused herself. Is she married to Ginni Thomas too?

Trump is not being treated like any other investigative subject. Trump is being treated with privilege. He is literally asking for privileges.

So, who is this judge, Aileen Cannon? Surprise! She’s a Trump appointee.

She’s never served on any bench until she was placed on the Federal District Court for the Southern District of Florida AFTER Trump lost the election. Remember that Mitch McConnell bullshit in rejecting hearings for Merrick Garland in 2016, saying the voters needed a say? In this case, the voters rejected Trump and gave the Senate to the Democratic Party, but Mitch rushed more judges onto federal benches. In case you haven’t been paying attention, Republicans don’t give a flying fuck about the will of the people.

Did you know that since President William McKinley’s 1897 inauguration, Senates have confirmed only 15 nominees of defeated presidents? Here’s another fun fact: Of those 15, 14 were Trump nominees. Mitch McConnell rushed through 14 nominees to federal courts AFTER Trump lost and the people had chosen Joe Biden to be the next president. For fuckers who love to toss around words like “unprecedented,” this was fucking unprecedented.

And naturally, Judge Aileen Cannon is a member of the Federalist Society. This is some Stonecutter bullshit.

Now the question is: Who will Judge Cannon appoint as the Special Master? Donald Trump Jr? Rudy Giuliani? Sidney Powell? Tucker Carlson? The MyPillow Guy? Special Masters are often former judges. Maybe Judge Cannon will pick Judge Jeanine Pirro.

Trump, Mitch McConnell, Rupert Murdoch, and the Federalist Society have set our federal justice system back decades.

Music note: I listened to Foo Fighters.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Classified Crocodiles


Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know. You’ll probably find alligators and not crocodiles at Mar-a-Lago, but there are some crocs in the most-southern part of Florida and they’re moving north. Hopefully, they’ll be hungry by the time they make it to Mar-a-Lago.

When Donald Trump and his legal team requested a Special Master to be a third party overseeing the documents seized by the FBI, he gave the Justice Department an opening to show the public even more evidence that Donald Trump broke the law. Donald Trump was so upset, that he “truthed” over 60 times in a span of 12 hours. That’s a LOT of bullshit.

Donald Trump stole classified government documents that belong in the National Archive. Trump returned a few boxes…and then a few more, and then his legal team said none was left, yet a lot more were discovered after the FBI was granted a search warrant by a federal court. Somebody did something bad.

In a stalling tactic, Trump demanded a third party to review the seized material and to be the judge of what is privileged between Trump and his lawyers. The response from DOJ showed that Donald Trump still had documents his lawyers claimed he didn’t have and that Trump was reckless with them.

The Department of Justice showed a photo of classified material on a floor next to a box of TIME Magazines with Trump on the cover. Trump, being a moron, “truthed” that this material was planted, but somehow taken from Trump’s storage and scattered about on the floor to make him look bad. He also claimed they can’t be classified if DOJ released a photo of them, even though we only see the covers marked “SCI” in the picture.

According to several people who visited Trump’s office in Trump Tower before he was president (sic), his office was always a mess with objects on the floor, like one of Mike Tyson’s championship belts (did he steal that?), and was the kind of scene a hoarder from Storage Wars would say, “Damn, that’s tacky.”

I don’t buy and collect publications when my cartoons are published in them. I used to but at some point, it became like hoarding and that’s gross.

Donald Trump’s response to the DOJ filing has been one conspiracy theory after another. One of them is that Joe Biden is trying to find details on Trump pulling the U.S. out of the Iran Nuclear Deal, which would be government material that the President of the United States (the real one) would have access to. The rest of his defenses have been quotes from people like Jon Voight.

Trump “truthed,” “Terrible the way the FBI, during the Raid on Mar-a-Lago, threw documents haphazardly all over the floor (Perhaps pretending it was me that did it!).” This is like clogging the toilet and later blaming someone else.

Trump’s lawyer’s response to this was that Trump merely possessed “his own presidential records” and DOJ took an “unprecedented, unnecessary and legally unsupported raid” on Mar-a-Lago, the Justice Department was “criminalizing a former president’s possession of personal and presidential records in a secure setting.”

That’s a lot of bullshit and shows just how shitty the quality of lawyers that are left for Trump to choose from. Word gets around he’s a client that never shuts up and doesn’t pay his legal fees.

Donald Trump has actually been sued by lawyers for not paying his legal bills, who had defended him in lawsuits for not paying his bills. You have to be a seriously stupid and shitty lawyer to take Donald Trump on as a client, which explains why one of his lawyers is a goon who used to work for One America News, the conspiracy “news” network.

The raid was not “legally unsupported.” It’s amazing they’re making this argument to a judge when the warrant they received was from…a judge (it may have been from the same judge). The judge knows how these things work.

These documents were not his “own presidential records.” Presidential records belong to the government, as in, they belong to us. The documents were NOT in a secured setting. A basement, and Trump’s desk, in a golf hotel is not a secure environment.

These documents were also never declassified. Never. Nothing has been exhibited that supports this evidence. If Trump had this, his lawyers would have produced it by now…but then again, they are morons. Have you seen Sidney Powell?

DOJ’s response also revealed that Trump and his legal team were working overtime to prevent the government from obtaining these classified documents. Donald Trump, with help from his lawyers, was obstructing justice. I hope Trump’s lawyers have lawyers who are better than they are. I hope you’re listening, Rudy.

Donald Trump has a history of being careless with classified information which doesn’t go well with a history of being a hoarder. Quite frankly, I think our most secret information would be safer with the crocodiles. I’ve never heard of a crocodile giving classified information to a Russian ambassador while inside the Oval Office.

Music note: Third day straight I listened to Elton John while drawn, but that guy produced decades of hits. Besides, I had to listen to “Crocodile Rock” at least once while coloring this.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Here Comes The Boom


Months before the 2020 presidential election, Donald Trump repeatedly barked about impending voter fraud and the possibility it would “steal” the election for Biden. What Donald Trump was doing was setting up a narrative so that when he lost, because he knew he was going to lose, he wouldn’t have to admit defeat and could blame non-existent voter fraud.

Donald Trump legitimately lost the 2020 election. There is no doubt to that and there is not one shred of evidence that even suggest Donald Trump won and had it stolen from him. Anyone still claiming Trump won is a liar, idiot, or just someone who wants to believe lies. And Donald Trump used the lie to attempt a coup and retain power. He was able to do this from the narrative he created before the election. He’s doing it again.

Trump is dropping hints about the FBI planting evidence during their warranted search of his home at his golf resort, Mar-a-Lago. But if they planted evidence, Donald Trump would already know it’s on the list because he has the list.

Donald Trump knows there’s something bad on the list he doesn’t want to be held accountable for. He doesn’t want his supporters to see it. But when they do see it, he will get to blame the FBI and claim it was planted. His lunatics will believe this. MAGAts are dumb enough to believe a president (sic) who didn’t win the popular vote the first time, ruined an economy, downplayed a virus that killed hundreds of thousands, spent four years barking hate while endorsing pedophiles, said good people marched with Nazis, saw unemployment reach above 13 percent, and never had an approval rating above 50 percent won reelection.

His lunatics don’t ask questions. They don’t ask why Donald Trump hasn’t released the list himself while they’re screaming for the FBI to be transparent. They don’t ask why there were still items to seize at Mar-a-Lago if Donald Trump was cooperating with the FBI. They don’t even ask why Donald Trump took classified documents to Mar-a-Lago. They don’t even ask why he took documents that didn’t belong to him.

And if it’s true Donald Trump took classified information that pertains to nuclear weapons, they won’t ask why he took that.

Even for Trump, doing something devious with nuclear information seems far-fatched. But before January, 2020, did we think it was outside the realm of possibility he would engineer a coup attempt and send a white nationaist mob to attack his own government?

We’re going to learn a lot more today at 3 p.m. That’s Trump’s deadline to appeal Merrick Garland’s petition to unseal the search warrant. Trump says he won’t block it but we’ve heard that before, like when he said he won’t plead the Fifth in a deposition, then pleads it over 400 times. He said he couldn’t wait to testify before Robert Mueller, then later blamed his lawyers for not letting him. He can come out later today and say he wanted to unseal it but his lawyers advised against it. Just wait. He’s good at setting shit up and he did that last night by saying he wanted the warrant to be released to the public. He doesn’t. I honestly can’t predict if he’ll block it today or not.

He can block it and blame his lawyers or let it be unsealed and say, “A-ha! There’s planted evidence! That Swedish-made penis enlarger is not my bag, baby.” We’ll have to wait and see.

Merrick Garland owned Trump yesterday. Garland is playing chess while Donald Trump is playing go fish.

Republicans are angry that the government seized government documents but not angry at the guy who stole them. Go fish.

Republicans have spent the week attacking the FBI demanding transparency. House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy told Garland to clear his calendar for upcoming hearings on this matter if the GOP takes the House this November. He also said for Garland to “save the documents” without detecting any irony in the statement. And then Merrick Garland announced yesterday that he was going to court to make the documents public. He’s doing exactly what Republicans have demanded…and they don’t like it.

It’s called “calling one’s bluff.” Garland is playing Texas hold ’em and the GOP is playing Hungry Hungry Hippo.

Donald Trump says he wants the court to unseal the warrant and the list of items seized. But he doesn’t have to wait for the court to do that because he can release it himself. Right now, I bet Trump is kinda wishing he and Mitch McConnell had let Merrick Garland have that Supreme Court seat.

Talk about coming back to bite you in the ass. Are you loving this as much as I am?

Music note: I listened to the Red Hot Chili Peppers again.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Trumping Burning Flushing


Donald Trump claims he doesn’t know what a burner phone is. His former National Security Adviser, John Bolton, said he knows exactly what a “boner” phone is and they had many conversations regarding the administration using “boner” phones.

Maybe that’s the truth. Donald Trump thought he and Bolton were talking about “boner” phones and not “burner” phones. I can honestly tell you that I don’t know what a “boner” phone is. Is it a cellphone used exclusively to send people photos of your junk? Does Brett Favre have one? I guess that would be a boner phone you’d want to burn.

White House logs, not to be confused with a log you’d take a photo of with your boner phone, reveal that on January 6, 2021, while the Capitol building was being attacked by Trump’s white nationalist terrorist goons, Donald Trump didn’t call anyone for seven hours and 38 minutes. Despite what the logs say that have been turned over to the House committee investigating Trump’s terrorist attack, he called House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, Vice-President (sic) Mike Pence (who the crowd was trying to hang with the noose they brought), and Senator and noted dumbass Tommy Tuberville. Donald Trump was calling people but he wasn’t using the White House phones, probably because he didn’t want any of his calls on record.

I’m not talking about the calls to McCarthy, Pence, or Senator Dumbass. I’m talking about the calls Donald Trump made that we don’t know about. Who else did he call? What was he organizing? Did he call the goon counsel set up in a nearby hotel that had planned out and orchestrated the attack? Was he calling Congressman Jim Jordan for Jordan to later say, “I don’t know when we talked”? Was he calling Miss Chloe, the 1-800 pyschic to see if she thought he’d be reinstated? Was he calling to see if the terrorists had enough rope to hang Mike Pence? Was he calling Putin to tell him he’s a genius? Was he calling more secretaries of state to tell them to “find the votes”? Was he calling Mar-a-Lago to tell them to install the new MAGA-load power toilets so he wouldn’t have to flush classified documents and criminal evidence 15 times? Maybe Donald Trump was calling one of those places that cashes checks, gives out payday loans with a 400 percent interest rate, gives out cash for car titles, and sells burner phones…so he could order more burner phones.

Remember that Jared Kushner went to the Russians to establish a back-channel for secret communications the CIA couldn’t track. Do you think Jared did that on his own? It’s the same idea as using burner phones.

A burner phone is a cheap phone that anyone can get. You don’t need a credit card to secure the account. You buy the phone, the number, and the minutes. It’s something criminals use to organize crimes, then throw away. In 2018, The New York Times reported that Donald Trump had as many as three iPhones at a time to contact people…that were not connected to the government. That means these things weren’t even secured and every time Donald Trump was using one, someone nefarious was listening in…in addition to nefarious Trump and the nefarious person he was calling. And Republicans lost their shit over Hillary’s server.

Donald Trump is corrupt. While conservatives are losing their minds over a laptop that may or may not belong to Hunter Biden that they have no clue to what its relevance to anything is, they forget that Donald Trump is a crook. Oh, Hunter Biden made deals in Moscow? Donald Trump made deals in Moscow and even attempted to bribe Vladimir Putin. Oh, you don’t like that Hunter got jobs and deals based on his father’s office? Jared Kushner got bail outs from foreign nations for his shitty buildings in Manhattan while Trump was president and he was playing Secretary of State. Hunter Biden is being investigated for not paying taxes, and NOT being investigated for being a laptop owner. Donald Trump is also being investigated for not paying taxes. Donald Trump is also being investigated for a lot of other devious shit.

Donald Trump fabricated the values of his property for loans and in tax filings. He would literally lie about how many floors a building had, hoping nobody would get in the elevator and count the buttons.

Donald Trump ran a fake charity which he used as a political campaign tool. The man took other people’s donations to his charity and bought souvenirs for himself, like paintings of himself. Trump has been banned from operating a charity in the state of New York because of the corruption with the Trump Foundation. The Clinton Foundation has never been found to be corrupt or dishonest in any way and is still operating and functioning as an actual legitimate charity and not a slush fund for its namesake.

Donald Trump ran a fake university, was sued, and later settled to pay his former “students” $25 million, which he did not pay. A friend of his, a business partner in his Las Vegas hotel, paid the $25 million. I’m not aware of why someone giving the president (sic) of the United States $28 million (I guess that extra $3 million was a bonus) isn’t currently being investigated because it sounds like a bribe. Keep in mind, Jimmy Carter sold his peanut farm after winning the presidency to avoid the appearance of conflict. If Donald Trump had owned a peanut farm, every Saudi diplomat and Republican would be eating a shit ton of peanuts.

Speaking of, Donald Trump kept all his businesses operating, which of course received tons of foreign investments. His hotel in Washington was the hot spot for Republicans and foreign diplomats. One of his cabinet members tried to buy a mattress from the Trump Hotel because it’s apparently the only place in Washington, D.C. where a person can get a decent used mattress that thousands of goons had slept on. William Barr once rented the banquet room of the Trump Hotel for a party, while he was the Attorney General. Rudy Giuliani did most of his goon plotting with Igor and Lev at the Trump Hotel bar. Trump tried to prevent the site of the FBI building from becoming a hotel because it would compete against his hotel. Also, the Trump Hotel is on government property Trump is leasing, which made Donald Trump his own landlord. But I’m sure there was never a conflict of interest.

Donald Trump played a lot of golf at a lot of resorts while president. Of course, he owned each resort he went to which forced the government to pay him for him to stay at his own resorts. The guy even charged the Secret Service rental fees for golf carts so they could protect him. He literally charged the government to protect him. He’s still doing it today as he hasn’t refused Secret Service protection.

Remember how Trump supporters boasted that he donated his salary? Of course, he was also raking in millions from staying at his own properties. He raked in millions from foreigners and Republicans staying at his properties (the Saudis would rent rooms at various Trump Hotels but not stay in them). He’s raking in millions because every dollar donated to his campaigns goes right back into the Trump Organization because every campaign event is held at a Trump property. Is Trump donating back his government pension? I haven’t heard that he is. Has he refused the office allowance given to former presidents (sic)? No. Do you know what the limit is on the office expense? There isn’t one. We’re still giving Donald Trump a blank check.

I guarantee that when Donald Trump builds his presidential (sic) library, it will be on property he owns.

On top of all that, we still don’t know where all the money went that was donated to the Trump Inaugural Committee. It didn’t cost $107 million for a tractor parade and Three Doors Down.

Do you hear the idiots upset over Hunter’s laptop asking anything about Donald Trump taking government documents to his golf resort with him? Do you hear them ask about him flushing documents? Do you hear them asking about Trump’s use of burner phones?

There’s not a lot John Bolton has ever been right about, but other than the boner part, he had it right when he said, “Criminal gangs in the United States use burner phones. Terrorists around the world use boner…burner phones.”

Donald Trump is a criminal, his organization and family are his criminal gang, and he’s a terrorist leader who ordered a terrorist attack against the government. We need to find the evidence from his burner phones so we can gather the evidence around his terrorist attack and send the boner-head to prison.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Mar-a-Lago Confetti Shower


CjonesRGB02112022

When the House committee investigating the January 6 white nationalist terrorist attack on the Capitol won its legal case to gain access to documents from the Trump administration, it was discovered that a lot of those documents had been taped back together.

Presidential historian Lindsay Chervinsky told The Washington Post, “The only way that a president can really be held accountable long term is to preserve a record about who said what, who did what, what policies were encouraged or adopted, and that is such an important part of the long-term scope of accountability, beyond just elections and campaigns.” So naturally, with Trump being Trump, he doesn’t want to be held accountable for anything. What other reasons would someone have for destroying documents unless that person is concealing something?

When you are in government service and you start destroying documents, those documents immediately become evidence because you’re breaking the law. This nation doesn’t have dictators and a president can’t break any law he chooses…just a bunch of them, apparently.

Now, we have discovered something that I predicted way back in January 2021. Donald Trump stole shit from the White House. OK, it wasn’t a bold prediction.

The National Archives and Records Administration (NARA) retrieved 15 boxes of White House documents and other items that were being hidden at Mar-a-Lago. What are those other items? By law, these records should have been transferred to NARA from the White House at the end of the Trump administration in January 2021.

These documents include the “love letters” between Trump and Kim Jong Un as well as the letter President Barack Obama left for Trump in the Oval, encouraging him not to destroy the nation during his four years of trying to destroy the nation. But, despite these documents having Trump’s name on them, they don’t belong to Trump. They belong to the public and should be stored in the National Archives.

NARA had to have multiple discussions with Trump goons to receive these records which they should have had in the first place, and without having to talk to Trump goons. It’s like your negotiations to get your power drill back from your neighbor.

The goons are Mar-a-Lago also told NARA that they’re continuing to look for more documents. So, these 15 boxes aren’t the total collection of stolen archives. Again, what are the other missing items? How much of this stuff is evidence related to Trump’s attempt to overturn an election he lost? How much is related to the coup attempt by white nationalists? And how much of it’s just picture frames and light bulbs stolen from the White House?

The Mar-a-Lago goons deny “any nefarious intent” and said the 15 boxes contained “mementos, gifts, letters from world leaders and other correspondence.” You know, shit that doesn’t belong to Donald Trump. And I’m sure there was nothing “nefarious” about accidentally taking 15 boxes of shit that doesn’t belong to you. By the way, history tells us that any time Trump and his goons have told us something was innocent, it turned out to be the opposite. The only way Donald Trump should be out of prison and at Mar-a-Lago is with a court-ordered ankle bracelet.

The Trump White House had lawyers. They had legal people. They had staffers who were supposed to know the ins and outs of what is and isn’t legal. Someone should have detected this at least by the time box number eight was being placed on the truck headed for Trump’s compound of gangsters down in Florida.

As I said, I predicted Trump would steal stuff from the White House. I have a new prediction and that is: We’re going to find more. We’re not just going to find more stuff that was created during the Trump administration, but shit that was in the White House before he got there.

Donald Trump is a crook and a grifter. He grifted this nation for four years and he’s continuing to grift this nation. Donald Trump is still the man who had a sham university and a bogus charity. He’s the same guy who cheated contractors. He’s the same guy who cheated his own family from his father’s estate. All the money his political PACS raise is spent at “campaign” events on Trump property. This is the same guy who called Georgia’s Secretary of State and told him to find him more votes. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that Donald Trump stole from the White House. I’m sure Mar-a-Lago is stocked with White House toilet paper and tiny bottles of White House shampoo.

Can we just go ahead and put Donald Trump and all his goons in prison now? I hear prisons have shampoo.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Fetch, Devin, Fetch


CjonesRGB12112021

After being Donald Trump’s ball boy over the past five years, Devin Nunes has resigned from Congress and is mooving to become Trump’s ball boy in the private sector (see what I did there with the “moo?”). He probably figures he can do a better job of lying for Donald Trump from his future social media platform than from a seat in Congress. Devin is going to work for Donald Trump. Of course, he’s always worked for Trump but now it’s official.

Devin is taking a serious gamble here. The first gamble is: The Republican Party can win back the House in 2022 which would make Devin Nunes the chairman of the most powerful committee in Congress, the Ways and Means Committee. But that’s probably boring compared to barking out bullshit and waging legal fights with fictional cows.

But then again, Devin may not be re-elected in 2022 as his district’s map is changing.

The other gamble for Devin Nunes is he’s leaving Congress to become CEO of Trump’s upcoming social media platform, Truth Social. Yeah, I know. “Truth”? They should call it “Bullshit Social.” But, this platform may not ever come to exist.

Truth Social was supposed to debut last November, but where is it? The domains created for it were attacked by hackers on their first day of existence. The company has already violated its software agreement (shocking). The stock options for the company are like a shell game and are already under investigation by the SEC. A lot of people bought stocks not realizing they were buying into a Trump venture. That’s like buying a house before realizing it’s haunted by Jerry Lewis. “Hey, Laaaaaaaaaaaaaady!”

This is Trump’s second venture into social media. Do you remember his first one after leaving office? Exactly!

Trump started this weird thing where he’d create posts from “The Desk of Donald J. Trump,” which was on the site from his super PAC. The idea was for it to be exactly like Twitter…if Twitter mugged you each time you went on the platform. Each post was supposed to be under 280 characters so his cult could share them on other platforms, mostly Twitter and Facebook. It was supposed to be a “communications” platform but there was no way anyone could post a reply under Trump’s post or do any actual communicating. This was designed so nobody could hurt Trump’s feelings or point out he had just self-owned himself like he did last week with an “official” statement that said, “Anybody that doesn’t think there wasn’t massive Election Fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election is either very stupid, or very corrupt!” Yup, he called himself very stupid and very corrupt. We already knew that. It’s nice when Trump does it for us so we don’t have to.

I digress. This “From the Desk of Donald J. Trump” shit didn’t last and hits to the site started decreasing after the very first day it launched. Within two weeks, it had less than 10 percent of the interaction it had on its first day. Michael Flynn’s tenure in the White House lasted longer than “From the Desk of Donald Trump.”

Devin better hope this new venture doesn’t go the way of From the Desk of Donald Trump, or Trump Steaks, Trump Wine, Trump Airlines, etc, etc.

The third gamble here is: Trump stiffs people. I’m not talking about the kind of stiffing where he has to get a cheap lawyer like Michael Cohen to draft non-disclosure agreements for. I’m talking about the way he stiffs contractors. Trump, who cares so much about working stiffs, has a long history of stiffing working stiffs. Trump has probably stiffed more blue-collar workers than he’s draw-dogged porn stars while being married to Melania.

You may think Devin has been working for Trump for free all these years anyway, so so what. But, that’s not true. We’ve been paying Devin Nunes to wash Trump’s balls over the past five years.

When Nunes was chair of the House Intelligence Committee, he constantly worked to protect Trump. He didn’t want to investigate Russian interference in the 2016 election. He didn’t want to investigate Michael Flynn’s ties to Russia. He didn’t want to investigate the Trump Campaign’s collusion with Russia. When Nunes learned more about Russian ties to the Trump campaign, before he shared it with the rest of the Intelligence Committee, he ran to the White House to tell Donald Trump. He blamed investigators for investigating. He issued a four-page memo claiming the FBI had an anti-Trump bias for investigating Trump goon Carter Page instead of having an anti-Russian spy bias. Nunes was investigated by the House Ethics Committee for disclosing classified information, but the GOP-led committee dropped the investigation since Nunes wouldn’t give them all the documents they wanted. Seriously.

Devin Nunes even went to London in an attempt to meet with the heads of MI5, MI6, and the General Communications Headquarters to get dirt on Christopher Steele, the author of the Steele Dossier, alleging Trump paid Moscow hookers to pee on him. Ironically, each agency told Nunes to piss off. Maybe he just wanted to know the going rate for having Trump pee on him.

During the first Trump impeachment, Nunes went to Europe to meet with Ukrainians to try to get dirt on Joe Biden. He also claimed Ukraine meddled in the 2016 election. His trip was supposed to be a secret but it was exposed by CNN and The Daily Beast. Nunes claimed they broke the law by reporting his secret trip. He later attempted to sue CNN and fellow Congressman, Ted Lieu, for reporting and talking about his relationship with Trump goon, Lev Parnas. Lieu was excited about the lawsuit as it would force Nunes to disclose his contacts and other interesting information in depositions. All these lawsuits were thrown out.

Nunes loves frivolous lawsuits which bring us to the cow.

Devin Nunes sued two Twitter parody accounts, one titled “Devin Nunes’ Mom” and the other “Devin Nunes’ Cow.” The cow won.

Now, Devin’s going to work for a social media website that, pay attention, has its users agree the Trump platform is not responsible for shit they post. This is something Devin and Donald Trump both opposed while in office. Donald Trump always wanted to blame the platforms any time someone would write something like, oh, I don’t know…maybe something like, “Donald Trump is the demon spawn of an orange Nazi shitgibbon.” Devin never liked being asked on Twitter, “Hey, Devin…did you notice what Trump had for lunch today while your head was up his ass?” Of course, that question was rhetorical and was asked just to annoy Devin. We all know the answer is Big Macs.

Devin is giving up the potential to wield huge power in Washington for what he believes will be huge power in social media. But how much power will he really have after going to work for Fox News in six months because Truth Social could never compete against 4-chan or Telegram?

Fox News does pay but he’ll still have to have his head up Trump’s ass. That won’t be a problem because apparently, he likes it there.

Moo.

Creative note: I listened to The Shins, The Cranberries, The Dandy Warhols, and Hall and Oates

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Hater Photo-Op


CjonesRGB11292021

Right after Kyle Rittenhouse escaped from going to prison for the rest of his life after killing two people on the pretense of defending himself from a situation he created, he claimed he wanted anonymity. And then he called Tucker.

Kyle has been offered internships by the vilest in Congress, Paul Gosar, Matt Gaetz, and Marjorie Taylor Green. What an impressive resume that would make for Kyle. But Kyle has rejected them and said he doesn’t want anything to do with politics. And then he went on Tucker.

In fact, Kyle did Tucker’s show and another with NewsNation’s Ashleigh Banfield. During his trial, Tucker Carlson had a film crew embedded with Kyle’s legal team so he could make a documentary on Kyle for Fox News. Kyle told Banfield he wasn’t paid by Fox News for his participation in the documentary, but looking at Kyle’s history with the truth, this needs to be authenticated.

While Kyle was stalking the streets of Kenosha after curfew with an assault rifle, he was lying to people. He lied about his age and he lied about his medical credentials. Kyle lies about a lot of shit. Also, Tucker said he didn’t pay Kyle so yeah…we need definitely to check that shit out, because Tucker has an awful history with the truth as well.

Kyle says he wants to disappear, but people who want to disappear don’t go on Tucker’s show minutes after a not-guilty verdict for shooting three people and murdering two. Kyle couldn’t even wait to get home to go on Tucker. He did the interview from the car taking him home. Then, he went on Tucker again. I’m sure we’ll see him on Tucker in the future.

Kyle says he wants to grow a beard and disappear. With a beard, Kyle can finally be a real man, like he was playing to be by stalking the streets of Kenosha after curfew with an assault rifle pretending he was a soldier. I’m sure after he’s a real boy and is capable of growing a beard, he’ll go on Tucker to show it off. I’m sure a beard will do for Kyle just like a beard did for Ted Cruz.

Kyle believes President Joe Biden defamed his character during the presidential campaign by aligning him with white supremacists. Kyle told Tucker, “It’s actual malice, defaming my character, for him to say something like that.” But, Kyle…he didn’t say anything about you. Also, you can’t complain about people claiming you’re aligned with white nationalists when you’re in bars drinking with white nationalists and flashing the white-power symbol. Rittenhouse wants Biden to take responsibility while he refuses to take any. He blames his association with the Proud Boys on his former lawyers, forgetting the fact he can say no. Did Kyle’s former lawyers also trick him to drink underage in a Proud Boy bar?

He also claims he wasn’t aware the OK sign was for white power. It’s not when non-racist use it…which is mostly never now. But when you’re in a bar with white nationalists, it’s a white power sign, you little stupid fuck. And in case you haven’t noticed, white nationalists are always flashing the OK sign.

Kyle also told Tucker, “I’m not a racist person. I support the BLM movement, I support peacefully demonstrating. This case has nothing to do with race. It never had anything to do with race. It had to do with the right to self-defense.”

Now, that’s a bunch of bullshit. This has nothing to do with race but with self-defense? So, you crossed state lines to defend yourself? Bullshit.

Kyle supports Black Lives Matter? Then why wasn’t he marching with them instead of shooting at them? Screw you, Kyle. You can’t claim to be non-racist after flashing the white-power sign in a Proud Boy group photo. You can’t claim you support Black Lives Matter while on Tucker Carlson’s show. You can’t say you support Black Lives Matter then fly down to Mar-a-Lago for a photo-op with the chunkiest orange racist there’s ever been.

Donald Trump said that Kyle called him because he’s a big fan of Trump. Talk about lying. Kyle didn’t call Trump. Trump’s people called Kyle. Trump, like Tucker and the three shitty amigos in Congress, are only using Kyle for their politics. And, Kyle…you don’t need to go running to kiss Trump’s ass when he calls. You’re not Kevin McCarthy. Also, you can’t support Black Lives Matter while being a Trump fan.

Another thing, Kyle…you can’t claim you’re not racist when you continue to pose for photos with known racists. Hell, Donald Trump gave the Proud Boys a shout-out on the debate stage. You don’t want to be associated with racists but you and your mom posed with the guy white nationalists had an insurrection for.

When Biden aligned Kyle with racists, he didn’t mention Kyle. He was condemning Trump for his refusal to denounce racists like Proud Boys. A video was included in Biden’s tweet attacking Trump, and there was a brief clip of Kyle hunting down anti-racism protesters.

Kyle is upset that President Biden included a brief clip of him with his condemnation of Trump’s support of racism…then Kyle poses in a photo with Trump. You can’t make this shit up.

Kyle, if you want people to stop believing you’re a racist, then stop hanging out with racists like Proud Boys, Donald Trump, and Tucker Carlson.

Kyle’s claims he’s not a white nationalist were made on the number-one show with white nationalists. White nationalists LOVE them some Tucker Carlson. Again, Republicans suck at catching irony.

While on the top-rated show with white nationalists, the white nationalists’ favoritest person in the entire world asked Kyle, “Did you know how dishonest media coverage of events could be?”

Donald Trump, Tucker Carlson, the three racist congressional goons, Proud Boys, right-wing fanatical political cartoonists like Ben Garrison, Steve Kelley, and Gary McCoy (just a few examples, with none of them drawing about the Ahmaud Arbery case yet), don’t care about Kyle Rittenhouse. He’s just their prop to “own the libs.” He’s a part of their tribe.

The fact these racist tribalist fucknuts care so much about Kyle, for now, is proof this was never about self-defense.

You know, it was self-defense because one of the guys Kyle shot pulled his gun out…on Kyle who already a gun out.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Trump Toast


Cjones04022021

On a recent night at Mar-a-Lago, the guy who used to occupy the White House raised a glass of champagne and toasted himself.

He praised his policies on China with whom he started an unwinnable trade war. He praised himself on how he dealt with Iran which was to remove the U.S out of a treaty preventing that nation from obtaining a nuclear weapon…thus pushing them closer to having nuclear weapons. He praised himself for how he treated immigrants by ripping families apart, throwing children into jails, and losing track of their parents. He praised himself for winning an election he did not win. At some point, he realized he was at a wedding and he got around to praising the couple.

Trump railed, “Y’know, I just got, I turned off the news, I get all these flash reports, and they’re telling me about the border, they’re telling me about China, they’re telling me about Iran – how’re we doing with Iran, how do you like that?”

Donald Trump was in a tuxedo which now has penguins searching for a new look. But he continued ranting. He said, “Boy, they were ready to make a deal, they would have done anything, they would have done anything, and this guy goes and drops the sanctions and then he says, ‘We’d love to negotiate now,’ and Iran replies, ‘We’re not dealing with the United States at all,’ Oh, well, they don’t want to deal with us.”

At some point, I think he forgot that he was giving a toast at a wedding or even speaking in front of other people as it seemed he was talking to himself. But he continued.

“And China, the same thing, they never treated us that way, right?”

Quick. Someone get the cake. Distract him with cake. What? He’s not done? Oh, god.

“You saw what happened a few days ago, was terrible, and uh, the border is not good, the border is the worst anybody’s ever seen it, and what you see now, multiply it times 10, Jim – he’s the only one I know who would handle the border tougher than me.” Was there even a Jim at the wedding or did he just glue little googly eyes on his hand again and pretend it’s talking to him?

Finally…he got around to mentioning the bride and….NOPE. “What’s happening to the kids, they’re living in squalor, they are living like nobody has ever seen anybody, there’s never been anything like what’s, and you’re gonna have hundreds, and you have it now, they have the airplane photos, the shots, and they call ’em shots, and these things are showing thousands and thousands of people coming up from South America and it’s gonna be, it’s just uh, look, it’s a disaster.”

Mr. President (sic), would you like to say a few words? No, I’d like to say a lot of words.

He continued. “It’s a humanitarian disaster from their standpoint and it’s gonna destroy the country, and frankly, the country can’t afford it because you’re talking about massive, just incredibly massive amounts. Our school systems, our hospital systems, everything.”

It continued. “So it’s a rough thing, and I just say, ‘Do you miss me yet?'” No. We don’t miss you and we’re not going to. But then again, we did say the same thing about George W. Bush and…no, nope, no no no…we’re never going to miss your stupid rancid Cheeto-covered ass, you orange shitgibbon from Oompa-Loopma Land.

After warming up, he got started and went into the election he lost and said, “We did get 75 million votes. Nobody’s ever gotten that,” Trump said. “They said, ‘Get 66m votes, sir, and the election’s over.’ We got 75 million and they said … but you know, you saw what happened, 10.30 in the evening, all of a sudden I said, ‘That’s a strange thing, why are they closing up certain places, right?'”

Next time someone pushes the Russian talking points and claims President Joe Biden has dementia (Ted Rall), force them to watch the Trump toast.

Finally…he was done and wrapped it up with a nod to himself and the happy couple, whatever their names are. “Now, a lot of things happening right now. I just wanted to say, it’s an honor to be here, it’s an honor to have you at Mar-a-Lago, you are a great and beautiful couple … have fun.”

Throughout all this, the band was waiting for him to wrap it up so they can play that song from Dirty Dancing. If you’ve had the time of your life with Donald Trump, then you might be a racist.

So, he’s asked to give a toast, he spends the entirety of it on himself in what would seem like a drunken rant if he drank, and at the end, he can’t even mention the couple’s names. Was his daughter Tiffany the bride?

Donald Trump shouldn’t be enjoying freedom and giving wedding toasts. This man attempted to steal an election. He told officials in Georgia to “find votes” so they could overturn the presidential election in that state. There is no telling what he said to other state officials who visited the White House or where phone calls weren’t recorded. After committing election fraud, he sent terrorists to the United States Capitol to overturn the election in a violent coup attempt. He sent MAGA goons and other assorted white supremacists to stop Congress from doing its Constitutional duty. He succeeded for a few hours.

The only place Donald Trump should be toasting weddings is in prison. He shouldn’t be toasting and giving rants at Mar-a-Lago. He shouldn’t be calling in to Fox News to continue spreading debunked conspiracy theories. He shouldn’t be free to enable more white nationalist terrorists. He shouldn’t be at some gold-plated desk working on his bullshit memoirs. He shouldn’t be working on deals to create a new social media network for Nazis. He shouldn’t be on the golf course continuing to bilk taxpayers for Secret Service protection. He should be in prison.

Georgia is investigating Donald Trump’s election interference. The District of Columbia may start an investigation into his rallying terrorists to attack the United States government. The Justice Department should be opening a LOT of investigations into Donald Trump’s illegal activity throughout his time occupying the White House.

And maybe afterward, Donald Trump and Matt Gaetz can share a toilet of wine together. Donald Trump shouldn’t be giving a toast. He should be toast.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: