Trump Cult

Happy Dance


Cjones07282021

A lot of Republicans’ logic for believing Donald Trump won the election is because he had rallies with thousands of people and Joe Biden did not. They are using desires instead of facts to support their beliefs, but there is a great explanation as to why Joe Biden can win an election without holding massive campaign rallies.

The very simple reason why Joe Biden won the election is because the people who voted for him aren’t in a cult. Have you seen political rallies that were not Trump rallies? If so, compare the way they look to Trump rallies. The MAGAts come out emblazoned with Trump gear, professing their love for Donald Trump, as if he’s the Second Coming. Trust me on this, Trump supporters, it’s not a good look.

President Joe Biden won the election because more people in this country voted for him. Just because you can fill up an arena with 15,000 morons doesn’t mean you have the majority of the country. We outnumber you idiots. There’s just enough of you to embarrass us internationally.

I’ve seen Trumpers say, “I refuse to believe more people would vote for Biden instead of Trump.” But why is that so hard to believe? More people voted against him in 2016 too. Even George W. Bush won the popular vote at least once.

You can support a politician without flying multiple giant flags on the back of your monster truck. We don’t need to wear Biden hats or shirts on a daily basis. We don’t leave campaign signs in our yard year-round. This is the kind of shit MAGAts do. The MAGAts believe they are part of a movement and their wearing it is a display of this movement. It’s not a movement. It’s a cult. When we see you parading around in your Trump gear and flying MAGA flags off your vehicles, we are not impressed. You look pathetic.

The Republican Party is a cult. It’s a cult that’s against vaccine passports while requiring a loyalty oath to Trump. They say, “Nobody should be forced to take a vaccine.” I don’t think anyone should be forced to take a loyalty oath.

Every GOP candidate for 2022 is running, not on a conservative or Republican platform, but on a Trump platform. What’s in the Trump platform? Just Trump. You have to praise Trump to be a member of today’s GOP. I really hope the Democrats retain control of Congress next year because there will probably be more GOP representatives who are members of Qanon.

Congressional Republicans want House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy to punish colleagues Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger for accepting positions on the January 6 Committee from House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi. Pelosi vetoed two of McCarthy’s picks who were Trump loyalists. Cheney and Kinzinger also voted to impeach Donald Trump. And in case your memory needs refreshing, the GOP caucus has already punished Liz Cheney by removing her from a leadership position and giving it to a Trump cultist.

This movement started with the Freedom Caucus, who are a bunch of extreme right-wing hateful fucks. But now it’s spreading throughout the more mainstream body of House Republicans. But it’s not just the extreme portion of the party that’s living outside reality. It’s not just the extreme portion demanding subservience to Trump.

When you are demanding that Trump be reinstated…just given the presidency, then you’re loyalty is not to the United States or the Constitution. Congratulations. You’re in a cult.

Republicans are worried vaccines are a method for the government to control you. They’re afraid of “vaccine passports,” and Tucker Carlson has compared them to Jim Crow laws. Others have compared them to the Holocaust and the branding of Jews by Nazi Germany. And yet, their unquestioned loyalty to Donald Trump is comparable to the loyalty Nazis demanded for Hitler. They have been controlled by their cult to fear monger that vaccines will control you. Once again, conservatives fail with irony.

I took the vaccine, yet I don’t sense a loyalty to the government. I still question the government. I voted for Joe Biden and there are issues I question him on. I have a vaccine card but nobody has tried to control me with it except the New York Yankees. Amtrak didn’t ask to see a vaccination card. My hotel in New York didn’t ask to see one. No establishment between Virginia, Washington, or New York City has asked to see my vaccination card…except the New York Yankees.

Come to think of it, I do have a Yankees cap…and a shirt, even while I’m also a Cubs fan. Oh, crap. I’m being controlled and may be in a cult. Have I been brainwashed to believe you can’t get a better hot dog than the ones at Yankee Stadium? But, if asked, I couldn’t name one Yankees player. I suck at cults.

I don’t think we should force people to take vaccines…but I do believe we should force Republicans to dance. No, not the happy dance. Each time one of them says something that’s not true, they should be forced to do the Little-Wrong-Man Dance. That’s something we had in our family but looking back, it never worked with us either.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Liz-Aid


Cjones05062021

I have to get my second vaccination this morning. I’m going to do that first, get a money order for my rent, then return and write today’s blog…if I’m not on my ass. Check back later today.

It’s later today:

Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy wants his party to retake the House in 2022. He believes the only way to do that, isn’t just by enabling Donald Trump’s lies, but attacking anyone who speaks against his lies.

The GOP already has gerrymandering to help them retake the House. Red states like Texas, Florida, and North Carolina are getting new congressional seats and that will help them too. They’re changing voting laws to make it more difficult for black people to vote, which will also help them. So you would think McCarthy wouldn’t need to debase himself by groveling to the Trump base. Except, McCarthy is a Republican and most of that party has abandoned principles.

And it’s not just members of the House engaging in the Big Lie that Donald Trump won the election and it was stolen from him. Senator Mitt Romney was booed last week at a Republican event in his home state of Massachusetts, or Utah…or whichever one it is this week. They booed him because he voted to convict Donald Trump.

Republicans are pushing the Big Lie and gaslighting the January 6 terrorist attack on the Capitol that Donald Trump instigated. While Democrats want an independent commission to study the attack, McCarthy and Republicans want to deflect by making Black Lives Matter and Antifa “violence” a part of the study.

Here’s a fact: The attack on the Capitol was conducted by white racist terrorists instigated by Donald Trump and Black Lives Matter and Antifa didn’t have a damn thing to do with it.

If Republicans have their way, an independent commission to study the attack on the Capitol will be about as independent as the Arizona recount being recounted by Republicans, Trump goons, GOP candidates who are on the ballots they’re counting, and MAGA terrorists.

Now, Wyoming’s lone representative, Liz Cheney, daughter of Daick, is demanding that the party have principles. Keep in mind, this is a person who verbally attacked LGBTQ in order to get elected and has a lesbian sister. But for Republicans, this is about as ethical as it gets.

The party that cries about “cancel culture” now want to cancel Liz Cheney. Cheney is speaking out against the Big Lie, saying the election wasn’t stolen, and the Capitol attack was Donald Trump’s fault. She said Donald Trump’s false claims are “poisoning our democratic system.” That might be where she messed up because Republicans care more about conspiracy theories than about our democratic system.

Cheney is the number three Republican in the House and survived a vote to remove her a few months ago after voting to impeach Trump. Reportedly, another vote may come up and this time, she’s not expected to survive. Matt Gaetz, before his sex scandal hit, even went to Wyoming in an ugly suit with his hair sticking up like Cameron Diaz’s in “There’s Something about Mary,” to campaign against her. Why is everything with that guy icky?

Steve Scalise, the number two guy, said about Cheney, “This idea that you just disregard President Trump is not where we are — and frankly, he has a lot to offer still.” The idea Steve Scalise can’t disregard a flagrant liar like Donald Trump who engineered a bloody coup attempt, is now where this country should be.

Today, Kevin McCarthy said on Fox News that any effort to get rid of Cheney isn’t about her vote to impeach Trump, but her “ability to carry out the job as conference chair, to carry out the message.” That message is a message of bullshit.

Right now, there is more criticism and condemnation of Liz Cheney for speaking her mind than there is for Matt Gaetz, or Qanon fucknuts Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert. Next year, you can expect Donald Trump to rally against Liz Cheney in her reelection attempt. Right now, Cheney is fighting for her leadership position, but she may not even have a seat in the next Congress while lunatics like Gaetz, Greene, Boebert, and Jim Jordan are still there.

Kevin McCarthy doesn’t not have principles, ethics, or integrity. He attempted to exercise some integrity by blaming Trump for the terrorist attack, then quickly back-peddled when Trump expressed outrage. Then, he flew down to Mar-a-Lago for a Trump photo-op. McCarthy is a coward. He doesn’t actually believe the election lie. He knows Trump lost and Biden won, but he’s too much of a coward to state the truth. He’ll repeat any Trump lie to regain the House. He is worst than your average everyday enabler. He’s a party to the party of lies.

The majority of the party believe Trump won and the election was stolen. They’re idiots.

For me, the Democratic Party is not the solution to everything. I am a liberal but not a partisan. There are plenty of problems with the Democrats and they will never have my loyalty. But the Republican Party has stopped being one that’s just opposite on the ideas, but they’ve become a cult.

The Republican Party would take the presidency, the House, and the Senate, and then stack the courts, despite the fact fewer Americans will vote for them. They don’t care how they get power, just so long as they get it. And they don’t just oppose civil rights, free speech, a free press, women’s rights, reproductive rights, and wanna fuck with elections. No. They have become a party obsessed with worshipping a racist reality TV show host with a dead bleached skunk on his head and who supports terrorists.

The Republican Party will never be a party we can take seriously until they stop being the party of cult worship. And the cult of personality they’re worshiping is a very stupid personality at that.

The people enabling a lying racist who tried to overturn an election through a bloody coup attempt are the ones who should be up against the wall, not the person telling the truth.

Creative note: I know! It was Flavor-Aid. Every time I draw a Kool-Aid cartoon, someone wants to show off their big brain and inform all of us it was Flavor-Aid used in the mass suicide of Jim Jones’ cult. Actually, I have read it was both….but anyway, “Flavor-Aid” does not work for the cartoon. Informing me it was Flavor-Aid is almost as annoying as complaining about the ads on this site. If I see an ad for Flavor-Aid, I’m gonna lose it.

Also, I stared at this idea for about an hour this morning until I gave up on waiting for a better idea. Walking back from the clinic, I got an idea I like a lot better. I’m really kicking myself for not doing that one even though this cartoon has over 300 shares on Facebook.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Two-Faced Nikki


cjones02232021

Nikki Haley is just as smarmy, two-faced, deceitful, disingenuous, and chock-full-o-bullshit as lying Ted Cruz, except she’s prettier.

While slimy Ted was rushing back to Texas, making sure he was seen wearing a face mask with a Texas flag on it, Nikki was rushing to get inside Mara-a-Lago, hoping to be branded with a MAGA flag. But Donald Trump nixed that.

On January 12, Politico published a story on Nikki where she said about Trump, “I think he’s lost any sort of political viability he was going to have. We need to acknowledge Trump let us down….He went down a path he shouldn’t have, and we shouldn’t have followed him.”

Shouldn’t have followed him? This from his former Ambassador to the United Nations who intimidated tiny third-world countries to support Trump policies, or they wouldn’t be invited to her parties? Seriously, she did that.

Before Trump secured the nomination in 2016, Nikki was a Marco backer and laughed and laughed when he made fun of Trump’s tiny penis. By the time the Republican National Convention rolled around, Nikki was all aboard the Trump train. She knew Trump would be short on support from minorities and women…and dang it all, she was both. Like Ted Cruz who was big enough to forgive Donald Trump for calling his wife ugly and his father a murderer, Nikki planted her lips firmly on that wide orange Trump caboose.

Nikki wants to be president someday and she knew she needed more experience than being governor of the state that sends the biggest flipflopping no-backbone ass-kissing shitweasel lapdog to the United States Senate. She needed some foreign policy…what’s that word? Oh yeah, experience.

Before Trump’s MAGA goons conducted a terrorist attack on our Capitol and tried to overturn the election, Nikki was enabling Trump’s sedition. She refused to condemn the Big Lie that the election was stolen and even tried to help Trump out. In another Politico story before the bloody coup attempt, Nikki said, “I understand the president. I understand that genuinely, to his core, he believes he was wronged. This is not him making it up.”

As Sarah Marshall said in the movie, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.” Donald Trump knew he was “making it up.” This isn’t like someone believing in Bigfoot without any proof, or an expert at “finding Sasquatch” who’s never found Sasquatch (seriously, they’re just experts at being lost in the woods). This was the president (sic) of the United States making shit up. And Nikki, you enabled it.

Now that Nikki turned around and condemned the attack and placed the blame firmly where it belongs, she’s trying to spin her head around again and suck up to Trump. She can’t praise Trump, then tell the truth about his inciting a terrorist attack, then turn around and try to get his warm icky affection again. Who does she think she is? Kevin McCarthy?

The House Minority Leader, Kevin McCarthy, gave a speech laying the blame of the attack on Donald Trump. According to reports, during the attack, Trump and McCarthy were on the phone in a screaming match. McCarthy was trying to get Trump to call off his goons while they were banging on his doors trying to kill him and all Trump wanted to do was first, say it was Antifa, and when corrected, said they were people who cared more about the “stolen election” than Kevin McCarthy did. Later, McCarthy flew down to Mar-a-Lago, made sure a photo came out of him standing next to Trump in what may be the most hideously-decorated room in the world, and groveled for Trump’s icky affection and his donor list. He only got one of those and unfortunately, it was the icky affection.

Mitch McConnell hasn’t made that trip yet. But, his actions don’t make much sense. The Senate MINORITY (I love typing that) Leader blamed the MAGA terrorist attack firmly on Trump and even said he may face criminal charges…right after he voted to acquit Trump. Huh? Of course, Trump didn’t like those words so he issued a statement (because he can’t tweet anymore).

Trump’s statement said, “Mitch is a dour, sullen, and unsmiling political hack, and if Republican Senators are going to stay with him, they will not win again.”

Apparently, it could have been even worse as advisors advised that he take out a parts that included “lots of repetitive stuff and definitely something about him having too many chins but not enough smarts.” That almost makes you miss Trump’s Twitter account. Were they as good as, “Mitch McConnell has more chins than a Hong Kong phone book”? Oh, that’ll slay at the next MAGA rally.

Mitch loved Trump until he couldn’t get anything out of him anymore. Mitch got a whole bunch of judges and huge corporate tax cuts out of Trump and then like a pair of old socks with holes in them that haven’t been washed ever, he threw Trump away. And the same went for Trump. He got everything he could out of Mitch and like an old pair of socks with holes in them that started with the back talk, he threw him away.

You can’t just stick a toe in the orange Kool-Aid. You have to dive in and get your hair wet. After condemning Trump, Nikki sought an audience with him at the golf resort he lives in, but she got snubbed. It’s pretty heavy when Donald Trump won’t let you in to kiss his ass. This is Donald Trump, the same guy who once held a cabinet meeting where everyone took turns kissing his ass.

But Nikki really wants to be elected president in 2024…like a whole bunch of other Republicans. They’re all going to be after that Trump base and several, like Nikki, will try to criticize Trump while appealing to him. But I bet the love for Donald Trump fades. No, not with his terrorist racist base, but with the general public. I don’t see President Biden being so bad that people start thinking, “Man, I wish we had some more Trump,” except for, you know, Nazis.

Donald Trump will probably run for president again unless he’s in prison, too occupied with his debt, lawsuits, and criminal charges, has fled the country to live in a Moscow condo, or finally been gotten by a gator on his golf course. I have ten bucks on the gator. C’mon, gator!!! Daddy needs a new pair of socks! Who am I kidding? Trump would just throw Lindsey Graham at it as a distraction.

I don’t vote for ass kissers so I will not be voting for Nikki Haley…ever. And since I don’t vote for ass kissers that means I will never vote for a Republican ever again.

People like Nikki probably don’t feel any sense of shame groveling to Donald Trump because they already sold out long ago. For Nikki and her fellow Republicans, your soul is gone and there’s no getting it back. It’s just too bad she’s not entirely like Ted Cruz because if she was, then she wouldn’t know what she was missing because she never had a soul.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have NINE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Scared Trumpers


cjones02212021

Perhaps the main takeaway viewers got from CNN’s town hall with President Joe Biden was that we were listening to answers from an adult president. We have a president who isn’t a fear mongerer trying to capitalize from hate. Unlike his predecessor, we have a president now who does NOT behave like a poo-flinging monkey. I apologize for that comparison to all poo-flinging monkeys.

Even when President Biden gave answers liberals didn’t want, like you’re not going to get free college just yet, there was still comfort they were listening to an adult, someone who is honest. It was comforting. The highlight was probably when President Biden comforted a child.

A mother with her eight-year-old daughter stood up and asked Biden what to tell kids who are worried about getting Covid and dying. President Biden said, “Don’t be scared, honey. You’re gonna be fine. Don’t be scared. And we’re gonna make sure that mommy’s fine too.” He told her directly that kids don’t usually get the coronavirus, and when they do, they very rarely pass it on. He asked another questioner, whose son couldn’t get a vaccination from the virus despite serious medical issues, to hang around and talk to him after the town hall and he would see if he could help her. Did Trump ever hang around after to help anyone who wasn’t him? Did Donald Trump ever try to help anyone without getting something for it?

It was a refreshing change from a president (sic) who gave shout-outs to Nazis.

Of course, the MAGAts tried to fake outrage over President Biden calling a little girl, “honey.” These are probably the same people who laughed at Rush Limbaugh’s parody of “Puff the Magic Dragon,” but titled, “Obama the Magic Negro.” These are probably the same people who laughed when Donald Trump, “their president,” mocked a handicapped reporter with an impersonation.

Donald Trump was a hater who gained the presidency on fear and racism. His very first plan as a candidate was to build a racist border wall to keep out the “rapists and murderers” Mexico was sending us. He defended murderous Nazis marching with tiki torches while chanting “Jews will not replace us.” He gave a shout-out to the Proud Boys, a racist group the FBI says is an extremist group with ties to terrorism, while Canada doesn’t hold back and has classified them as terrorist.

President Biden said he had received calls from all of the living former presidents except one. I think we know who that is but he probably doesn’t count. And in reference to that guy, Biden didn’t want to talk about him and even referred to him as that “former guy.” I like that. It’s better than “former president.” But, some of us are obviously still talking about that former guy. So let’s talk about him.

There were a lot of things President Biden said that the former guy would never say.

That former guy wanted to feed his base, which is why he gave shout-outs to Nazis. President Biden actually told his base things they didn’t want to hear, as in no defunding of the police. He actually wants to increase funding for police. When a woman brought up the government canceling $50,000 in student loan debt per borrower and asked, “What will you do to make that happen?”. President Biden said, “I won’t.”

President Biden called those who support white supremacist ideals “dangerous” and “demented” and said his administration will review the rise of white supremacy among the military and former police officers (maybe defund racist cops? Hmm?). Donald Trump didn’t go after racists. He gave them shout-outs and praise. He talked about how much they “loved their country.” Donald Trump embraced Qanon cultists at his political rallies. By the way, if you’re still defending the attack on the Capitol, claiming the election was stolen, and support Donald Trump, you’re dangerous and demented.

President Biden said that for four years, the news has been nothing but Trump. He said, “For the next four years, I want to make sure all the news is about the American people.” Do you know who would never say that? The former guy who would hate that. He loved it being all about him. In fact, MAGA is all about Trump and less about policy. Today, 70% of Republicans want the party to be the party of Trump. MAGA is a cult.

But the one thing President Biden said that Donald Trump couldn’t have ever said even it was on a teleprompter in front of him, written by someone else, and after he had received a brain transplant was, “I literally pray that I have the capacity to do for the country what you all deserve need be done.” Pray? That former guy only went to church for photo-ops and literally didn’t know the Bible well enough to tell which side was up.

A lot of MAGAts refuse to believe Joe Biden is their president. Many still believe Donald Trump will retake the White House, not in four years, but next month. Seriously. And to be fair, Donald Trump wasn’t my president but that’s because I refused to recognize someone as president who was aided by Russia and conducted everything on hate. I refused to accept a “president” who didn’t actually want to do the job as president. I didn’t accept Trump as my president because being the president for white supremacists made it clear to me that Trump did NOT want to be my president. The people who refuse to accept Joe Biden do so because he’s decent and not that hater…except for the extreme liberals. They’re still upset he’s not Bernie.

No Green Deal, people. Sorry. It sounds good on paper but right now, people in Texas could probably use a few more cow farts.

But here’s the thing, MAGAts: Donald Trump is not coming back to retake the White House next month. And since he lost the popular vote twice, it’s not looking good for him in four years either.

Joe Biden is not perfect, but he is a good man. He’s decent. He’s honest. He doesn’t put himself first. It’s not all about him. He doesn’t try to scare everyone to keep himself in power. He doesn’t give shout-outs to Nazis. And I understand there are a lot of people, Republicans, who miss having a president who sucked up to Nazis. But he’s gone and he’s probably never coming back.

Joe Biden is your president whether you like it or not. And maybe you should start getting used to it….honey.

Creative note: I have not been happy with my caricature of President Joe Biden. Some days, I’m OK with it. Others, I am frustrated. And I was getting frustrated with it last night until this version came out of my stylus. I tried a new tactic of trying to draw his actual face instead of caricaturing him…then turning it into a caricature. The photo I worked off from, found in Google Images, is this one. How long I’m happy with it is still to be determined.

Other creative note: I had just started working on this cartoon and was planning to publish it yesterday afternoon when a friend messaged me that Rush Limbaugh had died. I had CNN on my TV but they hadn’t reported yet. A quick run to my FB timeline showed a lot of posts about Rush dying so I knew it was probably true. You can’t trust nitwits on social media. Last week, someone said Andy Griffith just died. But soon after, CNN came through. But I stopped drawing this cartoon and went to work on the Rush one you saw yesterday. That took about 20 minutes.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have 10 copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Convict Hate


cjones01292021

During his inauguration speech, President Joe Biden said, “White supremacists say ‘what.'” Then, Kentucky senator Rand Paul said, “What?”.

A lot of people say “what” whenever Rand Paul speaks, like last Sunday when he went on George Stephanopoulos’ show and tried to make the case that the opinions of stupid Republicans should override hard facts when it comes to their election fraud lie. “Election integrity” keeps being repeated by people who have no integrity.

During his speech, Biden described how there were “lies told for power and for profit,” and that everyone had a duty “to defend the truth and defeat the lies.” He said, “We must reject the culture in which facts themselves are manipulated and even manufactured.” Do you know who doesn’t like that kind of talk? Liars. Enter Rand Paul.

Rand Paul went on Fox News and expressed his faux outrage over the speech saying, “Much of it is thinly veiled innuendo calling us white supremacists, calling us racists, calling us every name in the book, calling us people who don’t tell the truth.” I’m starting to get why people physically attack Rand Paul and beat his ass until the homeowner’s association arrives to pull them off him.

It’s like, “Excuse me, Senator Paul, but you’re standing on my foot.” And Rand Paul, instead of getting off your foot, screams, “Did you just call me a Nazi?”

Well, we weren’t.

A lot of this criticism toward Biden is because there’s nothing to criticize yet. Nothing real anyway. Have you seen the memes going around complaining that Jill Biden had the gall to wear teal at the 2021 inauguration AFTER Melania Trump wore the same color to the 2017 inauguration? Girl, you know that Melania and Republicans own teal now.

There have even been Republicans complaining about the Bidens bringing dogs into the White House and that they must hate cats…ignoring that the only pet Donald Trump had in the White House was Lindsey Graham and that the Bidens are also bringing in a cat. Now, if Biden forces us to watch the movie, “Cats,” then you have something to complain about.

You know what? Joe Biden has been president for nearly a week and he’s yet to unite the country despite his attempt to bridge the divide between dog people and cat people. We should throw him out now and reinstall Donald Trump, which a lot of Qanon cultists believe will happen in March.

And according to Rand Paul and many other Republicans, Joe Biden can’t unite the country if the Senate convicts Donald Trump in the impeachment trial and bans him from future office. Senator Marco Rubio, who has never been lauded for being an intelligent person, said the Senate trial is “stupid” and argued, “We already have a flaming fire in this country, and it’s like taking a bunch of gasoline and pouring it on top of the fire.” Marco admitted that Donald Trump is responsible for the MAGA terrorist attack on the Capitol but that we should just let Trump go. Does that make any sense? Keep in mind, Marco is from Florida.

Republicans are arguing we can’t unite the country if we convict Donald Trump and ban him from ever running for president ever again. They’re afraid we might offend racists.

The people who attacked the Capitol were instigated by Donald Trump. He spent nearly $3 million to rally terrorists and tell them to march to the Capitol. And do you know who says Donald Trump sent terrorists to attack the Capitol and stop a Constitutionally-mandated duty, disenfranchise millions of Americans, and stage a bloody coup attempt? The terrorists say that. Well, their lawyers are making that argument.

Every terrorist that has been arrested since the attack has made the defense that Donald Trump told them to do it. It’s the “my client’s guilty but he’s stupid” defense. It’s not a good defense for them and it’s not good for Donald Trump, who has a lot of experience with being stupid and guilty. Do you know who those terrorists are? They’re white nationalists.

If you’re still celebrating January 6 as some sort of MAGA holiday, you share it with racists. They’re making it a special day too, and they should own it. The mob that attacked the Capitol had a huge racist component to it. Mixed in with the mob were Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, the Groyper Army (not to be confuse with Trump’s Groper Army), Boogaloo Bois, Last Sons of Liberty, and DC Under Siege. Also in the mob were former members of defunct racist groups, like Anticom, the Rise Above movement, and fuckers carrying Confederate flags, and at least one asshole in a “Camp Auschwitz” T-shirt. I could be mistaken. Maybe it was a sweater.

You see that list of hate groups and it’ll be easier to sum it up by simply saying, “Nazis.” There were Nazis attacking the Capitol. Republicans are arguing that we can’t offend Nazis because if we do, then we can’t unite with Nazis.

Fuck Nazis. I don’t care if I offend them because I don’t want to unite with them. Unite with Nazis? No thank you. I don’t need their votes. I don’t need their support for any initiative or policy I want advanced. I don’t need their understanding and I don’t need to try to reason with Nazis. I don’t need them to read my cartoons. I don’t need them to buy my books or apparel. I don’t need them to click “like” on my Facebook posts. I don’t want to sing Kumbaya with Nazis.

So, convict Donald Trump. He instigated an act of terrorism from hate groups. He tried to overthrow the government. He tried to overturn an election. He obstructed Congress while it was doing an act mandated by the United States Constitution. Donald Trump is a criminal and a national security threat. Donald Trump attempted to become a fascist dictator of the United States. Convict him, ban him from running for office ever again, and then try him on sedition in federal courts. Then, throw his orange ass in prison. If that pisses off Nazis, then fuck Nazis.

And while we’re at it, fuck the Proud Boys, fuck the Oath Keepers, fuck the Groyper Army, fuck the Boogaloo Bois, fuck the Last Sons of Liberty, fuck DC Under Siege, fuck Republicans who are afraid of offending Nazis, fuck the KKK, fuck those fuckers who attacked the Capitol, fuck the guy carrying the Confederate flag through the Capitol, fuck that fucker in the Camp Auschwitz T-shirt, fuck white nationalists, fuck terrorists, and fuck Donald Trump. And if you’re afraid of offending Nazis and want to unite with them, then fuck you too.

And now, I’m all out of fucks to give.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Deprogramming MAGA


cjones01282021

If you’re a Trump supporter, you’re probably in a cult.

I mean, if you casually voted for Trump after analyzing both candidates, then decided you’re OK with Nazis, maybe you’re not in a cult and you’re just an average, normal everyday-kind of racist. But if you’re a fire-breathing Donald Trump supporter, where he is the ultimate authority and everything he says is true and the law, then you’re in a cult. If you believe Never Trumpers are the equivalent of sinners, yeah, you’re in a cult. Seek help.

One of the signs that you’re in a cult is believing everything the leader says. By this point you’re brainwashed. It starts by repeating a lie constantly until that lie is the utmost truth and the people who point out facts aren’t just the liars, but evil. After you’re brainwashed, the lies become more easily accepted.

If you believe there is a deep state running this government that’s comprised of Satan worshipping pedophiles, you’re definitely in a cult. If you believe cannibals are controlling the government, you’re in a cult. If you believed in Pizzagate, you’re in a cult. And it’s brilliant how that’s done.

It’s starts with super crazy and then they sell you something that doesn’t have lizard people or the devil, and things start looking normal and easy to believe… but because you’ve been desensitized to crazy bullshit, you can’t even spot crazy anymore.

Maybe you did vote for Trump but you don’t believe any of the Qanon stuff I listed above. But you’re probably still in a cult. What’s just as crazy as believing in deep state lizard people? Believing Donald Trump won the election, or the election was stolen, or that dead people were voting, or Dominion voting machines were switching votes, or there were ballot dumps.

If you believe it’s impossible that this nation would reject a guy who tanked the economy then did nothing while over 400,000 American died from a virus, you’re in a cult.

How many times was the election fraud lie drilled into your head? How many facts do you have that support your belief Trump won the election? You don’t have any. Look at the “facts” you believe you have. Are they actually facts? No. They’re not. You’re in a cult.

Did you believe that Congress wouldn’t certify the election on January 6? I talked to several Trump cultists who had strong faith that wouldn’t happen.

After that happened, did you believe that on inauguration day, some sort of miracle would arrive to prevent Joe Biden from being sworn in? I’ve talked to a few cultists who believed that.

Do you now believe that somehow in some shape or form, Donald Trump is going to be president again in the next few weeks or months? How crazy is that? It’s crazier than Pizzagate, but there are people who believe it.

The cultists are a major problem in this nation. Having half this nation base everything they believe on conspiracy theories is a major problem for both political parties. It’s a major problem for this entire nation. This nation will have a very hard time making progress in any area while half the country believes in dogmatic, cultist bullshit. And the rest of the world is looking at us the same way they look at the citizens of North Korea, except the North Koreans don’t have access to information. You do. You’re just choosing not to use it. Seriously, if you gave North Koreans State TV and CNN, a bunch of them would turn the channel to CNN. You’re not. You’re still watching State TV that’s praising Dear Leader.

We can’t give the McCarthy treatment to everyone who disagrees with us, but we can at least identify those who are poisoning our country. We can spot each one who’s spreading hate and fear and preaching violence…and then we can round them all up and give them electric shock treatments. Just kidding….mostly. But we do need to deprogram Trump cultist in a national campaign. Hopefully, we can limit the outlets that spread ignorance and stupid shit.

Already, misinformation about election fraud decreased online by 73% in the weeks following Donald Trump’s ban from Twitter and other social media accounts. One man had the ability to poison half this country. Donald Trump is toxic. He’s poison. Donald Trump showed us what sort of power Joseph Goebbels would have had with Twitter. Hate and lies is all Trump dished, and half this nation ate it up.

Removing lies and hate speech, especially those designed to overthrow the government, from online platforms is not censorship. As we see now, it’s a public service. Removing hate speech and lies from social media is a health initiative for this nation. Hate is a national security threat.

And, if you believe the storming of the Capitol was a good thing, then you’re not just in a cult, but you’re also a white nationalist. We see through you. White nationalism is the greatest terror threat facing this country.

There will always be people who’ll believe in any crazy shit, like the Earth is flat, the moon landing was faked, Elvis is still alive, Pepsi is better than Coke, ketchup goes on hot dogs, etc. But maybe after a few months of seeing a human being in the White House, a guy who’s decent, not repeating hateful rhetoric, not retweeting Nazis, the kind of guy a dog will come to…then maybe this boiling hatred from the Trump cult will simmer down. Maybe after the heat decreases, they’ll actually start to listen.

And maybe eventually, we can solve the greatest mystery which is: How did they brainwash people without brains?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Cult Or Country?


cjones12302020

For years, decades even, Republicans were lying to us. They told us they were “fiscal” conservatives. They said they were for family values. They ran on religion as if the other party consisted entirely of heathens and atheists. They wrapped themselves in the flag and said they were more more patriotic than Democrats. And they told us they support our troops.

We’ve always known they were lying about the fiscal thing. The last time there was a balanced budget under a Republican was during the Eisenhower administration. Republicans spend more than Democrats. The debt increases more under Republicans. Republicans give permanent tax cuts to billionaire assholes and corporations. They finance wars with tax cuts to billionaires. And the only time you hear Republicans talk about controlling spending is when Democrats have the White House. But it took Donald Trump for Republicans to reveal all their other positions were lies. Funny thing is, they’re still telling them.

The party that went after Bill Clinton over his lack of family values and for having multiple affairs turned around and backed Mr. Grab-Them-By-The-Pussy. They supported a man who boasted about cheating on his wife and assaulting women…while he had a newborn child at home. They supported the guy who boasted about barging in on naked teenage girls. The supported the guy who divorced twice, cheated on all three of his wives, and has five children with three different women. They supported the guy who has nearly 30 accusations ranging from assault to rape. They supported the guy who looked at a child and said, “I’ll be dating her in a few years.” They supported the guy who talks about dating his daughter and grades her figure. Republicans lied about being the party of family values. If anything, they’re the party of icky creepy fuckers.

Even before Donald Trump showed up grabbing pussies, Republicans made a pedophile the Speaker of the House. A pedophile. In case you’re a Republican, a pedophile is…wait. If you’re a Republican, you already know what a pedophile is.

Republicans lied about religion and their love of Jesus and God. They literally turned their entire party into a cult worshipping a reality TV show host. Anyone who opposes Trump is cast out as a sinner and blasphemer. The religious right and evangelical base proved what a bunch of wormy hypocrites they are when they started supporting the guy who ogles little girls and throws babies into cages. Jesus wouldn’t do that.

They lied about being patriotic. They voted for the guy endorsed and supported by Vladimir Putin. Here’s a voting primer: Don’t vote for the guy supported by Russia. It’s as easy as that. Republicans were silent when Donald Trump gave away classified information to Russians in the Oval Office. They were silent over his taking Putin’s word over our intelligence agencies. They remained silent over Russia tampering in our elections to help Trump. They have yet to criticize Trump for allowing Russia to hack into our nation’s computer system or for Trump downplaying Russia’s involvement. They’ve allowed Donald Trump to shove allies aside and embrace Russia. The party that tells us Democrats are communists ignores Donald Trump saying he fell in love with a communist (In case you’re a Republican, that’s Kim Jong Un).

Now, they have to choose between Donald Trump and the military. Just like you can’t be a patriot and a MAGAt, you can’t be a Trump supporter and a supporter of our military.

Look at House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy. He voted for the defense spending bill which includes pay raises for our troops. Donald Trump vetoed the bill over removing names of Confederate generals from military bases and something that wasn’t even in the bill. Yesterday, the House voted to override Trump’s veto. McCarthy, who voted for the defense bill, turned around and opposed it (he missed the vote). If he’s wearing a neck brace today, it’s because he has whiplash. How many other Republicans will need neck braces?

The bill is for spending $740 billion on our defense…for one year. We spend more on our defense than the next ten countries…combined. While Donald Trump has boasted about “rebuilding the military,” we’ve been increasing the defense budget yearly long before Donald Trump even heard that “I’m Just a Bill” song. But now, the guy who claims he rebuilt our military and loves our troops has vetoed the bill. Why?

First off, he vetoed it because it doesn’t include a repeal of Section 230, a law that shields internet companies from being liable for what is posted on their websites by third parties. In case you’re a Republican, I’ll explain that.

If I go on Twitter and create a post claiming Donald Trump barges in on naked teenage girls so he can ogle them and he wants to date his daughter, he can’t sue Twitter. Why? Because it’s true. But, say you own Twitter and some idiot makes a post claiming George Soros is funding migrant caravans, and it’s a lie. Section 230 protects you from being sued by George Soros because some anti-Semitic orange idiot made a libelous post on your platform. What does any of this have to do with our defense budget and military? Absolutely nothing. But this is the logic of the world’s greatest negotiator. We don’t understand it because we’re not as smart as Trump. Surely, it has to be a genius move. What Trump did with his veto was put himself before the military because the entire social media thing is only about him.

There were other complaints with the bill, such as limits to how much money Trump can move from the military to his useless racist border wall (it should be zero), and that Confederate naming thing. That’s another point against being patriotic. Just how patriotic are you when you’re fighting to retain traitors’ names on U.S. bases?

There was also a measure requiring the Pentagon to submit reports certifying that the proposed troop withdrawals from other nations, like Afghanistan and South Korea, would not jeopardize U.S. national security. Donald Trump didn’t like that.

The House voted 322-87 on Monday to override the veto, well above the two-thirds needed to override. It now goes to the Senate which also needs two-thirds to override. The question is: How many Republicans who were initially for it will now be against it? How about those two Republicans senators from Georgia? Yikes for them. Where do they stand on orange billionaires ogling naked teenagers?

In the House, 109 Republicans voted to override Donald Trump’s veto while 66 voted to support Donald Trump. There are 66 House Republicans who chose Donald Trump over our military. I don’t know how many of those 66 voted for the bill the first time, but I’m working on it and will report back when I have the number. But the bill was unchanged. There was nothing different about it except that Donald Trump vetoed it.

This was the first override of a Trump veto. It’s an excellent way for him to end his presidency (sic). Even with goons like Kevin McCarthy remaining, his control over the party is slipping. Still, he may lash out at those who voted for the override. Mean-tweeting 109 individual Republicans would require a lengthy session for toilet-tweeting, but I believe Donald Trump can do it. You go, you.

Now, we get to find out how many Republican senators will choose Trump over our military. You can’t support our military and Trump. You can’t be a patriot and a Trump supporter. You can’t be pro-democracy and pro-Trump.

You can’t be a loyal American and a Trump supporter.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Tracking Crazy


cjones12232020

Trump troglodytes can’t have it both ways, can they? In their minds, yes.

The Trump cult already says there was mass election fraud and millions of votes for Donald Trump were switched to Joe Biden…but the votes for other Republicans are valid. Ignore that Trump and down-ballot Republican candidates were on the same ballots. For their argument to work, you have to believe the voting machines fucked with the Trump votes but left the other Republican votes alone.

They said they wouldn’t recognize President Obama and did everything they could to obstruct him. They even said he wasn’t eligible for president because he was born in Kenya. After Trump was elected, they said, “Get over it.”

When President Obama made executive orders, they claimed he was acting like a monarch. When Trump did it, it was the best thing ever and owning the libs.

For decades, they screamed about family values and said Bill Clinton wasn’t qualified to be president because of his conduct with women. When Donald Trump said, “Grab them by the pussy,” well that’s just Trump being Trump.

When Obama was president, they claimed he didn’t love America and was allowing Russia to run over us. When Trump gave national security intel to Putin and refused to ever criticize him, they said, “So what?”.

When Obama was president, they claimed he was on an “apology tour” which was insulting and blaming the United States. When told that Putin had journalists murdered and Trump said, “So? You think we’re so nice?” His supporters just didn’t care.

Republicans claimed that President Obama would refuse to leave the White House or give up power. Why, he might actually enact martial law to remain president. Today, they’re screaming to Trump to declare martial law and steal the election.

With the coronavirus, Trump has taken credit for every success while blaming states for death rates. Donald Trump is taking credit for the vaccine being here but ignoring the massive problems with distribution.

And now, the MAGAts are saying we should praise Donald Trump for the vaccine. It wouldn’t have been possible so quickly without him. And many of them saying that are also saying they won’t take the vaccine. Why? Because the deep state will use it to plant a microchip tracking device inside them. Fucknut propagandist Ben Garrison has stated as much in his cartoons…while praising Trump for the vaccine. He also draws Trump with muscles.

Here’s a fun fact: There are tracking devices with the vaccine…on the vials. That’s probably more than the fucknuts needed to begin spreading conspiracy theories. The tracking devices on the vials is for stuff like making sure the vaccine has not expired. The chip has to be scanned for anyone to read the data. The chip is NOT in the syringe. The chip wouldn’t fit inside the syringe and if it did, it wouldn’t work. To track you, someone would have to follow you around with a scanner. So I don’t think you have anything to worry about unless strangers start walking up to you and try to scan your ass.

Actually, that might be fun. Let’s go to MAGA rallies and just start scanning people and watch them freak out. If they get too upset, we’ll just tell them it’s beeping because it’s a gaydar.

Does your dog have a chip? The chip to track your Fluffy doesn’t really track Fluffy. It’s a backup identification system in case your pet is found. It, too, has to be scanned. It’s not a GPS device. Do you honestly believe the government could manage an intricate computer/GPS system tracking every American? That would be some serious deep-state shit there.

But there is a video on Facebook that’s probably been viewed over 300,000 times at this point, claiming the vaccine contains a tracking device. Qanon type people believe this kind of stuff.

I wish there was a tracking device in MAGAts and there was a website for the general public showing where they are. We could use it like we use the internet to locate them. They’re all at Parler so hey, let’s not go to Parler.

Why would anyone want to track MAGAts? The only reason to know where Trump supporters are is so we don’t go there.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (14 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Failed Hoax


CNN10042020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

There was hope that Donald Trump having the coronavirus would change his messaging of the pandemic…and more importantly, change how his base behaves with it.

Nope.

Donald Trump said he went to the “school of covid.” He fully understood it now…then tweeted he may be immune to it, despite testing positive and going to the hospital for three nights. He may have gone to the “real school,” but like that Ivy League school he got into, he might want to get someone else to take his tests.

If Donald Trump fully understands the coronavirus, then he fully doesn’t give a rat’s flying ass about the danger he’s posing to others. He risked lives with his joyride outside the hospital. He risked lives with his photo-ops inside the hospital. He risked lives leaving the hospital early and returning to the White House for more photo-ops and to immediately make a campaign video. Of course, all without a mask.

Soon after arriving back to the White House, he came out on the balcony, removed his face mask, labored to breathe, then gave a salute. Who was he saluting? The people on the sidewalk facing the south lawn are too far away to tell he’s saluting. So, what the hell? Go to bed, you orange goon and make sure they burn the sheets in the morning, you contagious rancid sack of walking pumpkin shi…

Anyway, now, his base is using his return to the White House to claim the illness isn’t that bad. Or, that it’s really bad but this is just how incredibly strong Donald Trump is. What a superhero. What a super spreader. How many people in the Trump orbit have tested positive now? How many will?

Trump was euphoric tweeting he feels better now than he has in the past 20 years…and his base is claiming this is “owning the libs.” Donald Trump says we shouldn’t be “scared of the virus” or let it “dominate our lives.” It’s a message to his base.

Maybe Donald Trump should message to his base that they won’t receive the same treatment he has. They won’t be placed in Walter Reed hospital. They won’t receive experimental medical treatment. They won’t receive non-stop pampering and medical attention by the world’s top doctors. They won’t have doctors also engaging in spin doctoring. They won’t have steroids to make them feel better than they did 20 years ago.

What Donald Trump needs to message to his base is to wash their hands, practice social distancing, and wear their damn mask.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Once, Twice, Three Times a Trump Voter


cjones09062020

Guess what. In the future, when nominees for the United States Attorney General are going through their Senate confirmation hearings, they will have to be asked if they’re aware voting twice is illegal.

No, seriously. This is another thing the Trump era has fucked up. William Barr, Donald Trump’s favorite Droopy-lookalike saggy jowl toad, said he was unaware if voting twice was illegal.

The background? Yesterday, while talking to fucknuts in North Carolina, Donald Trump encouraged his followers to vote twice. You know, cheat. Break the wall. Crap all over our Democratic institution.

For months, Donald Trump has been spreading fear about mail-in voting. He and Republicans keep telling us it’s impossible to conduct mail-in voting without fraud, unless of course it’s in a Republican state. Seriously. They also claim the Post Office can’t handle the millions of ballots.

The truth: There has been no widespread fraud in mail-in voting. And, with each example Republicans present, it’s an example of someone being caught. And, the Post Office can handle the millions of mail-in ballots. How do I know this? Because they do about five times that many every Christmas. From Thanksgiving to January 1, the Post Office handles over 800 millions packages. There are only 153 million voters in this country…unless of course, everybody’s voting twice.

Donald Trump said people in North Carolina, a state he’s in danger of losing, should try to vote twice. He said, “Let them send it in and let them go vote, and if their system’s as good as they say it is, then obviously they won’t be able to vote. If it isn’t tabulated, they’ll be able to vote.”

He summed up, “That’s the way it is. And that’s what they should do.” And if they do that, they will go to jail.

When asked by CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, William Barr, being Donald Trump’s toad, said, “I don’t know what the law in the particular state says, and when that vote becomes final.” The law in that particular state, and every particular state, says it’s illegal.

Wolf asked, “”Is there any state in which you can vote twice?”

Barr said, “Maybe you can change your vote up to a particular time, I don’t know what the law is.” Seriously? You don’t know what the law is? I’m just a goofball cartoonist but I know what the law is. Voting twice is illegal. Prove me wrong.

Here’s a fun fact, if you try to vote twice, you will lose all your voting rights. Let me dumb it down for Trumplicans: In the future, you won’t even be able to vote once.

Congressman Ted Lieu tweeted, “Dear anyone at the Justice Department: Can you please educate Bill Barr that it is illegal to vote twice. And it’s really, really easy to get caught since you are giving the evidence directly to the state.” I’ll add to that with a, “D’uh!”

It’s shameful that someone who has been Attorney General….TWICE (maybe that should be illegal)…has to play dumb for Donald Trump. It’s like those preachers saying they don’t know if fornicating outside your marriage is considered a sin in the Bible.

But then again, maybe William Barr was having a mini stroke.

I have a prediction. In this election, there will be multiple cases of voter fraud. AND…the majority of them will be overwhelmingly Republicans. How do I know this? These idiots drink fish tank cleaner and bleach when Donald Trump mentions it. Yeah, a bunch of these idiots will be trying to vote twice. It’s as easy to predict as it was that a bunch of biker goons would peddle out of Sturgis spreading Covid-19.

The other thing is…Donald Trump is only against voter fraud when he’s not endorsing it.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.