Coach Rudy


cjones10052020

In an attempt to lower expectations for Donald Trump’s debate performance, the White House and Trump Campaign told us beforehand he wasn’t really practicing. Donald Trump himself told us that answering questions from reporters was his practice. And sure, he’s done plenty of shouting, interrupting, and lying to reporters, so maybe it was like that a little. But I don’t think you can lower the bar enough for Trump.

The bar is already low for Trump. When he gives a speech and says something that’s not entirely idiotic racist, and manages not to shit himself, pundits express what a wonderful speech it was. How eloquent. How presidential. But if another politician had given that same speech, they’d wonder if the speaker had received a brain transplant from an illiterate cow.

Of course the campaign lied to us because Donald Trump did prepare. It’s understandable they’d lie to us on this point because most campaigns do that with preparation. They have to lower the bar. They totally expected Donald Trump to lose the debate to Joe Biden, even though they issued a statement that Trump won and clobbered the former vice president…hours before the debate.

Usually when a candidate prepares for a debate, especially a presidential debate on a national stage, they get someone to play their opponent. Usually the person playing this role is someone who’s run for office before and has debate experience.

Donald Trump went through the entire Republicans field in 2016 with over 20 debates. He debated Hillary Clinton more than once. And…he still doesn’t have any debate experience. He has bullying and shouting experience.

And his coaches for his first debate? The lovable cuddly duo of Chris Christie and Rudy Giuliani.

Chris Christie is a bully. He’s bullied opponents, reporters, and even his constituents. As governor of New Jersey, he would mock and ridicule voters for asking him questions. He would insult them. But maybe they expect that in New Jersey.

Rudy Giuliani is a lunatic. Rudy has spent the entire Trump administration pushing conspiracy theories, mostly those about Hunter Biden in Ukraine…which Trump used during the debate. He was the chief defender on Fox News and Hannity during the impeachment saga. He’s the idiot who revealed there was a payout to porn stars and playmates and even used the word “funneled” when he described it being paid through a secret corporation…as if that is normal.

Rudy would go on CNN and tell Chris Cuomo he didn’t ask Ukraine to look into Joe Biden before saying he asked Ukraine to look into Joe Biden. He would have very public meltdowns on national television.

Anytime someone, like Michael Cohen, would make accusations about Trump, it was Giuliani who would take to the air to not just defend Trump, but spread conspiracy theories about the accuser, like Cohen’s father being involved in organized crime and that he was a Ukrainian mobster.

Rudy also butt-dialed reporters who could then hear him talking about his schemes with his goons…two of whom, Lev and Igor, were arrested. Rudy argued there’s nothing wrong with taking election help from Russians. Rudy said, “Truth isn’t truth.”

At one point, the White House talked about reeling Giuliani in because he wasn’t doing Donald Trump any favors.

Whoever thought it was a great idea to have Christie and Giuliani coach Trump is an idiot. So, obviously it was Donald Trump’s idea.

Trump’s performance was so bad that the debate commission is changing the rules of the debates and…one of the coaches admitted it was bad.

Chris Christie described it as “too hot.” With him being on Trump’s side, “too hot” translates to “holy fucking shit we’re going down in flames.” This is like being on a plane and you see your pilot casually jumping out wearing a parachute.

A White House aide said it was so bad, that maybe eventually Donald Trump will realize it too.

Personally, I don’t need to see another debate of this mess and I hope there isn’t one. As it stands now, there are two more scheduled, not counting the veep debate. I don’t see us having two more Trump/Biden debates. How much more damage is the Trump Campaign willing to inflict upon itself?

Donald Trump has only gotten less stable since 2016. He’s a lunatic. Quite frankly, I’m surprised he wore pants.

Rudy Giuliani once said Trump is owed an apology for the Russia investigation. I wonder if Rudy will demand an apology from America for voting Donald Trump out of office.

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