Rudy Giuliani

Runny Drippy Lawsuits


cjones02102021

Rudy Giuliani has an afternoon show on New York’s Talk Radio WABC. Rudy is upset because he just discovered the station is running a disclaimer before his show saying, “Warning: The program you are about to hear is chock full of bullshit, a nonsensical litany of lies, disproven conspiracy theories, and the kind of crazy old man talk that would make you assume it’s being broadcast from a padded cell in a mental institution.”

It doesn’t say that, but it should. What it does say is, “Girl, we are not responsible for the bullshit you’re to hear so don’t sue us…sue Rudy.” OK, it doesn’t say that either…but it should.

Seriously this time, what it truly says is, and I’m being honest…”The farts you’re about to hear do not represent WABC or its affiliates.” I’m sorry.

What it does say is, ” the views, assumptions and opinions expressed by Mr Giuliani and his guests are strictly their own and do not necessarily represent that of the station or its advertisers.” I think they should use the first version I wrote.

And then the show starts with, “Coming live from the parking lot of the Four Seasons Total Landscaping and next to Dildo-a-Rama, It’s the Rudy Giuliani Show!”

Rudy can get upset all he wants, and he said, “I mean, we’re in America, we’re not in East Germany.” because back when there was an East German puppet state of the Soviet Union, farty former mayors had radio talk shows.

Rudy spent considerable time on the show talking about the disclaimer he just learned about. The station slapped it on there without telling him which is also hilarious. His very first caller asked, if he feels “guilty about spreading a lot of unproven conspiracy theories to folks who may not have the ability or the critical thinking skills to look through” his bullshit. Yes, Rudy’s listeners, the Trump cult, don’t have critical thinking skills. But then again, neither does Rudy.

The station is correct to slap a disclaimer on his show. If they were really smart, they’d cancel his like Fox News canceled Lou Dobbs. Smartmatic, a company that created software for Dominion, the company that makes voting machines, named Rudy as part of its $2.7 billion libel lawsuit against Fox News. He’s also being sued by Dominion, along with fellow bullshitter Sidney Powell, for $1.3 billion.

The Smartmatic suit states, “Mr. Giuliani and Ms. Powell needed a platform to use to spread their story. They found a willing partner in Fox News.” Rudy replied, “The Smartmatic lawsuit presents another golden opportunity for discovery. I look forward to litigating with them.”

Unfortunately for Rudy, Sidney, and Fox News, everything they said is on tape because, you know, it was on TV. Rudy has gone on TV before and denied saying something he just said. Forget Donald Trump testifying in his own defense, Rudy’s lawyers better lock him in basement. I mean, the guy started his radio show by pointing out that he can’t be trusted for honesty or facts.

The opening of the Smartmatic lawsuit has been called the greatest opening line in the history of lawsuits. It reads, “The Earth is round. Two plus two equals four. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris won the 2020 election for President and Vice President of the United States. The election was not stolen, rigged, or fixed. These are facts.”

They went on to say, “Without any true villain, Defendants invented one. In their story, Smartmatic was a Venezuelan company under the control of corrupt dictators from socialist countries.” How are Rudy, Sidney, and Fox going to defend against that? It was just entertainment? Rudy can’t fart his way out of this one. And just like his hair dye, Rudy has left a trail for the plaintiffs to follow.

More lawsuits are coming. The big question is, will they go after Donald Trump for the big lie?

Also, will Just For Men sue a cartoonist?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Moo Libel


cjones12272020

You would think any half-ass lawyer would know they can’t run around saying lies and unprovable things about people and corporations. That’s libelous. You can get sued for that. When it comes to Trump lawyers Sidney Powell and Rudy Giuliani, I’d rather have the cow lawyer. Plus, the cow farts probably aren’t as bad as Rudy’s.

As part of the Trump team’s conspiracy theory in their effort to stage a coup, Sidney Powell has charged that Dominion Voting System’s machines were created by the deceased Hugo Chavez, were sent here by communists in Venezuela to overturn the election, and have links to the Clinton Foundation and George Soros. The team has spread lies that the machines changed votes from Trump to Biden and in some cases, dumped votes for Trump, while somehow leaving the other Republicans on the same ballots untouched. Anybody believing this shit is a little touched.

The Trump campaign has made these claims, often supported by the president (sic) of the United States of America. Do you know what happens when Donald Trump spreads bullshit? His people believe it. There doesn’t have to be any proof or evidence.

Now, lawyers who specialize in defamation cases have sent letters to Trump’s attorneys Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, Jenna Ellis, Lin Wood and White House counsel Pat Cipollone warning them of “imminent” legal action on behalf of Dominion Voting Systems. They’re demanding the campaign to retain all records of communications between Trump and any White House employee with Rudy Giuliani, Powell, Ellis, and Wood.

This is where it gets good. Others receiving warning letters include Sean Hannity, Lou Dobbs, Maria Bartiromo, Rush Limbaugh, Greg Kelly (a Newsmax anchor), Fox News, Newsmax, One America News Network (OANN) and Epoch Times.

Two ironic things about Epoch Times: It’s Chinese and the MAGAt belief system is currently trying to tie Joe Biden with China, and…it’s a newspaper. MAGAts don’t read newspapers.

The lawyers demanded they “cease and desist making defamatory claims against Dominion,” saying they had “featured and continue to feature the proponents of this misinformation campaign against” the company.

Another voting machine company, Smartmatic, has sent letters to Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax demanding they stop “publishing false and defamatory statements.”

Dominion CEO John Poulos said the company would be taking legal action against several people “promoting lies and amplifying those lies” on various media platforms since Election Day. When asked if the lawsuits will include Donald Trump, he said, “We will not be overlooking anybody.”

Nine nine days after Election Day, Trump tweeted a claim that “DOMINION DELETED 2.7 MILLION TRUMP VOTES NATIONWIDE.”

On Dominion’s website, they state, “Malicious and misleading false claims about Dominion have resulted in dangerous levels of threats and harassment against the company and its employees, as well as election officials.”

Last Tuesday in Denver, Dominion’s security director, Eric Coomer, filed a defamation lawsuit against the Trump campaign, Giuliani, Powell, Newsmax, OANN, OANN reporter Chanel Rion, blogger Michelle Malkin and others. Coomer’s suit says he has become the target of death threats because of the defendants’ false claims made about Dominion’s machines. Currently, Coomer is in hiding.

Remember how Republicans and MAGAts all chortled about the Kentucky kid suing media outlets after his fray with the tom-tom beating Native American in Washington? They championed that little MAGAt’s lawsuit. He even got a speaking slot at the Republican National Convention. They were all supportive of his lawsuits. How dare the media smear him with their reporting. Now, it’s coming back on them in a much bigger way.

Donald Trump has called for the laws allowing a free press to write “anything they want” to be eliminated so he and others can sue news outlets for reporting facts they don’t like. So isn’t it ironic that as soon as he leaves office, one of the multiple lawsuits he faces is for defamation? I love it.

I hope Dominion lawyers sue each and every person they sent letters to. I hope Coomer wins each of his lawsuits. These liars, destroying reputations, our nation, and championing a coup attempt, need to be taken downtown in legal terms. They need to pay for their bullshit. I predict a lot of settlements. I predict Donald Trump, who claims he never settles but always settles, settles.

I also wish that lawsuits and charges will be filed against Donald Trump, federally and on the state level, within five minutes of Joe Biden taking his oath of office at noon on January 20, 2021. Would that just be the best kick in the nuts ever?

That’s all I want for Christmas…that and Chinese food.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (14 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

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Rona Rudy Tooty Colludy


cjones12082020

I have a a question for Republicans: When are you going to learn?

After Herman Cain caught the Trump virus and died from it AFTER catching it at a Trump rally, you still haven’t learned.

After cases and deaths spiked in red states where restrictions weren’t put into place, like Florida, you still haven’t learned.

After a bunch of Trump goons, like Mark Meadows, Ben Carson, Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump Jr, Stephen Miller, Kayleigh McEnany, Hope Hicks, Ronna McDaniel, Mike Lee, Melania, Chris Christie, Thom Tillis, Ron Johnson, Bill Stepien, Nick Luna, etc, caught the virus from attending White House events, you still haven’t learned.

Even after the champion of covid denial and hater of facemasks everywhere, Donald Trump caught the Trump virus, you still haven’t learned.

Sure, I caught the virus too but I wasn’t out telling people not to wear facemasks. I wasn’t discouraging social distancing. I caught the thing while trying to cover newsworthy events and sometimes…shit happens. Plus, it’s really hard to social distance on a train. Amtrak!!! Stop packing people into the same cars. Spread them out.

Now, after going to hearings and conducting press events in multiple states and outside porn shops, it turns out farts aren’t the only thing Rudy Giuliana has forced upon innocent victims. Rudy hasn’t been wearing a mask and has now tested positive for the Trump virus. Rudy didn’t just refuse to learn after Trump caught the virus. Rudy refused to learn after his own son caught it.

Now, Rudy is hanging upside down and avoiding sunlight in a Georgetown University Hospital. The hospital at Georgetown is great. I mean, I’ve never had experience with that hospital but I did stay at the University hotel which is connected to the hospital and all the doctors and nurses I saw at the hotel Starbucks looked very competent, and the building is made out very sturdy stuff…so Rudy’s probably in good hands. But still, he wasn’t airlifted by Marine One and taken to Walter Reed Medical Center to be treated by a team of two dozen doctors and experimental medication like Donald Trump was.

But here’s a fact about covid, kids. You have covid before you find out you have covid. Taking a test doesn’t give you covid. Rudy was rushed to the hospital yesterday when it was announced he had covid. That means Rudy was suffering from covid before yesterday…like when he was going to bullshit hearings spreading conspiracy theories while not wearing a mask…he was also spreading covid. The same thing happened with Donald Trump. The day they announced he had covid was the same day he went to the hospital. They lied about when they tested positive and they lied about how bad their cases are.

Here’s a another fun fact: The White House has never revealed when Donald Trump last tested negative before he tested positive and they never revealed when he finally tested negative after testing positive. One more thing: They never revealed how high his temperature got.

Another question: If we have to replace all four quarterbacks for the Denver Broncos because they MIGHT have covid, then why couldn’t we have replaced a president (sic) who was actually in the hospital from covid? I mean, couldn’t we have have found a decent wide receiver to be president until Trump got back? That would have been a better choice than Mike Pence…or Donald Trump. Sure, that wide receiver sucked at playing quarterback but you know he’d make a better president than Pence or Trump. But anyway…

When the people who are lying about the virus are the same goons who won’t tell you how bad their cases are, don’t trust them. When the people who keep telling you covid is not that bad…keep catching covid, don’t trust them.

Wear a facemasks. Stay home. In another week, we’re going to see the Thanksgiving spike from covid…just before everyone spreads it to the relatives at Christmas. We’re in for a hard winter. Yet, the president (sic) of the United States has only said two things about the Trump virus since he lost the election to Joe Biden. Those two things are: Don’t let Joe Biden steal credit for the vaccine the same way Donald Trump stole the credit for President Obama’s economy, and Rudy has the rona.

Rudy has the rona. Surprised? No. I hope Rudy recovers in a spectacular fashion. I wish him well and hope he can soon return to lying, spreading conspiracy theories on Hannity, melting all over podiums, and farting throughout state legislative hearing committees like the old Rudy we have all grown to loathe and despise.

And now because some you are going to ask, and I am really fortunate that so many care, but…I HATE being asked multiple times a day and having to reply to each person individually…or when people message AFTER I put out a public statement I’m doing fine….I’m doing fine. I’m pretty sure it’s gone and all I have left are the after effects, like not being able to smell, occasionally dizziness, and falling down stairs. Thanks for asking.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw:

Goodbye, Turkeys


cjones11272020

I’m breaking a couple of my rules with this cartoon. One is, I’ve drawn enough turkeys this year. The other is drawing a cartoon with a holiday theme that’s dated after the holiday. This is dated for Friday, which as you probably know, is AFTER Thanksgiving. But, I don’t make my clients embargo my cartoons by the dates, which means they can run them as soon as they get them.

But, I like drawing turkeys…and I like drawing Trump goons. And in my defense, how many more opportunities do I have to draw these people? Have you seen the type of people Joe Biden’s putting in his administration? Adults! How am I supposed to work with that?

In the Biden administration, I don’t see any inept son-in-laws wanting to create a back channel with Russia while taking loans from Arab kingdoms. I don’t see a daughter and her husband receiving security clearances when they don’t qualify. I don’t see a veep lavishing worship on the boss every minute while attracting flies. I don’t see an Attorney General turning the Justice Department into an agency that acts as the president’s personal attorney…which they did in going to court to block a civil suit against Trump by one of his sexual accusers. I don’t see a baby Goebbels in this administration writing policies that’ll kill immigrant children. I don’t see a goon going to prison whose sentence the president will commute. Say what you want about Hunter, but I don’t see a son in this administration as stupid as Donald Trump Jr. I don’t see a personal attorney spreading conspiracy theories outside a dildo store while his hair is leaking transmission fluid. I don’t see the president encouraging right-wing terrorists to shoot and murder protesters or telling them to “stand by.” I don’t see Nazis and Klansmen holding parades for this incoming president. I don’t even see hamburgers.

So, how much fun do I have left? It’s not like next Thanksgiving, when President Joe Biden is pardoning a turkey, I can compare it to him pardoning his goons, children, or even himself. Sheesh! What sort of presidency is this going to be for cartoonists? We have been spoiled by Donald Trump. With Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, I’m going to have to go back to writing my own material. Dammit all.

Sure. Joe Biden has gaffes but they’re not going to make up for a president (sic) who tries to redirect a hurricane with a Sharpie, or asks about nuking that hurricane, or advises people to rake forests, or talks about windmill cancer. Joe Biden has never gone to a debate and talked about the size of his penis. Seriously, people…you left me nothing to work with here.

Maybe our new Secretary of State will scream at a reporter and challenge her to find Ukraine on a map. No? He’s not an asshole? Aw, man!

Maybe Ashley Biden will sit in for the president at international summits, or get a bunch of Chinese patents, or be investigated for tax fraud. No? She’s not corrupt? Maybe Jill Biden will say “fuck Christmas.” I know. Not very likely when you replace a porn model with a teacher who has a doctorate.

Thanks a lot, America. Sure. You saved the nation from a stupid narcissistic racist reality TV show host and his grifting, and now we’ll stop putting babies in jail and ripping families apart. We’ll save the climate, perhaps stop palling around with dictatorships, and start using complete sentences again…but at what cost? Did you think about the cartoonists and comedians? Did you not think about the satire? No, you didn’t. I hope you’re proud of yourself, America.

It’s not fair. Even the democratic goons Biden could have hired, Donald Trump took. I don’t even have a Blagojevich with this administration. Shit.

So because of all that, you get another turkey cartoon. You can’t blame me. All I have left is an administration full of adults to try to make something out of with my cartoons.

And the fact Donald Trump and his goons will never go away or stop tweeting. Never ever ever. I guess there’s that.

Update: I went back and added Michael Flynn after he was pardoned today.

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Watch me draw.

Trump’s Legal Brains


cjones11242020

If you want an idea of how nutzoid Trump election-stealing lawyer Sidney Powell is, take this in: Tucker Carlson can’t support her arguments…and Tucker has had shows about UFOs.

Tucker Carlson wants to believe in Sidney Powell. He said that he’s “always respected her work” and he’s holding out hope that she’ll provide evidence that thousands of votes were moved from Trump to Biden, which didn’t happen. Tucker is still stupid enough to hold out hope that election fraud occurred.

Do you understand that? Trump supporters are HOPING that our election was rigged and democracy failed. Do you know why? Because it’ll justify their stealing of an election. But right now, they don’t have any evidence or anything that supports their argument that Donald Trump won the election. Do you know why? Because Donald Trump did NOT win the election. Donald Trump lost and Joe Biden will be sworn in as president on January 20, 2021.

Sidney Powell is a Qanon-supporting nut. She has retweeted their theories on multiple occasions. She’s been a guest on Qanon’s YouTube show. Yes, they have a YouTube show. She’s Michael Flynn’s lawyer and now she’s arguing Donald Trump’s case that he won the election despite the fact he didn’t.

Sidney, along with Rudy Giuliani, suck. If they’re your legal team, you’re in trouble. I mean, you might as well invite Republican state legislatures to the White House and beg them to defy their constituents, break the law, invalidate votes, and just give you their state’s electors. Actually, Donald Trump did that yesterday.

Meanwhile, Powell and Giuliani are running around saying the election was stolen, Trump “won in a landslide,” And that it was manipulated by George Soros, the Clinton Foundation, and the deceased Hugo Chavez. At least Sidney’s hair dye isn’t running down her face.

Sidney Powell says she didn’t provide evidence to Tucker because he was rude. How about to the rest of us, Sidney? Their defenders are saying Trump’s legal team is holding their evidence for court…but they’re not using it in court. In fact, they keep having their cases thrown out of courts.

And while Trump’s legal team is arguing at press conferences outside dildo stores that massive voter fraud stole the election, when they’re in court, they’re saying there wasn’t any voter fraud.

So, if you don’t believe me that there was not any massive voter fraud, then take it from Trump’s stupid legal team. They’re telling you one thing and they’re telling judges something else. The judges aren’t buying it, but if you’re a Trump supporter, it’s a good thing for Trump that you’re stupid enough to buy it.

Trump’s legal team’s argument is even losing Fox News, who desperately wants to believe them. I guess this means during the Joe Biden era, Sidney Powell won’t have her own show on Fox. There’s always that Qanon YouTube channel…or Trump TV.

It’s hard for Donald Trump to hire capable lawyers because good lawyers don’t want to argue conspiracy theories in court. Crazy lawyers will though. And Donald Trump has cornered the market on crazy and hiring lunatics…even if the lunatics at Fox are losing hope.

Wanna know what’s even crazier than Sidney Powell saying Trump won in a landslide and blaming Hugo Chavez? 70% of Republicans believe her.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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He’s Melting


cjones11222020

This is a bonus cartoon I drew on Thursday evening.

Rudy held a press conference where he claimed Joe Biden only won because of massive voter fraud, and blamed it on George Soros, the Clinton Foundation, the deceased Hugo Chavez, the nation of Venezuela, a communist plot, and backed it all up by referencing the film “My Cousin Vinny.”

Then his face started running. What? Whatever goop he used to dye the remaining strands of hair on his head started running. Maybe he shopped at the same spray-on-hair as Stephen Miller.

In Rudy’s defense though, “My Cousin Vinny” is a really good movie.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Trump’s Gobblers


cjones11202020

Before the election, we worried about election interference from foreign nations like Russia, Iran, and China. After the election, we have to worry about election interference from Trump fuckers.

The sycophants are attacking our election after the results are in.

From the parking lot of a landscaping business he confused for a hotel and next to a dildo store, Rudy Giuliani spread lie after lie about election fraud. He’s gone onto Trump TV to continue spreading conspiracy theories. He’s made claim after claim about fraud and voting machines that are moving votes from Trump to Biden. All are lies.

Lindsey Graham, South Carolina’s Republican senator who just won reelection, called the Secretary of State of Georgia to inquire about the vote count there. In case you’re a Republican, Georgia is NOT in South Carolina. While on the call, Graham inquired as to how some votes for Joe Biden could be tossed out.

Last night in Michigan, where Joe Biden won, the Republicans on an election board refused to certify votes from Detroit which would have given Donald Trump the state. Joe Biden won Michigan with over 146,000 more votes than Donald Trump…and the Republicans tried to throw out all those votes. They relented and finally certified the votes after demanding an audit based upon Giuliani’s lies and bullshit. I guess they were hoping nobody was paying attention.

Also last night, Donald Trump fired Chris Krebs, the Department of Homeland Security official who issued an official press release stating the 2020 elections were the most secure in our nation’s history.

What are these people doing? They’re trying to steal an election. That’s the thing about Republicans. They love democracy as long as it gives them the results they want. If it doesn’t, then fuck democracy.

Don’t you think the Michigan Republicans took an oath, vow, or made some sort of promise to serve the people of Michigan honestly and with full integrity? I bet they didn’t promise to serve a cult, yet that’s exactly what they tried to get away with. This is called “Trump Fuckery.”

Before he was ever mayor, Rudy Giuliani was actually a highly respected prosecutor. Then something happened and today he’s serving up lies in the name of a cult. He’s serving as Trump’s top lawyer and has tried to rope Ukraine into running interference on behalf of Trump. Rudy has become the number one advocate for debunked conspiracy theories. What do you want to bet her never brought a conspiracy theory as evidence into a court room? Rudy’s reputation is shot and he will not be remembered as “America’s mayor.” Rudy will be remembered as a Trump flunky who served the cult while engaging in crazy conspiracy theories and Trump Fuckery.

Back in 2015 and 2016, Lindsey Graham was warning us about Donald Trump. He told us not to vote for him. He warned of Trump’s corruption and racism. After Trump was elected, Graham referred to him as “Mr. President-Elect,” a term he won’t use for Joe Biden. He’s told Donald Trump not to concede. He’s making calls into states he does not represent to pressure officials to thwart democracy. How would Lindsey feel if South Carolina threw out votes for him? Lindsey will forever be remembered as a brown-nosing sycophant who practiced Trump fuckery.

These people are trying to overturn a legal election and void the voice of the people. If they succeed, we will not have a president. We will have a dictator. If this election is overturned, we’ll never have another election ever again…at least not a real one.

Everything these people are doing, Giuliani, Graham, Trump, the Michigan fuckers, needs to be looked into legally. Have they broken the law? Maybe some people should be going to jail. Fortunately, after 12:00 PM January 20, 2021, Donald Trump can’t pardon anyone.

After Trump is out of the White House in January, we should have a second Thanksgiving because there’s going to be a lot to be thankful for and a lot of turkeys that deserve to be carved up.

I call dibs on a drum stick.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Coups For Dummies


cjones11142020

On November 10, 2016, President Obama hosted President-elect (sic) Donald Trump in the White House. Vice-President Joe Biden hosted vice-president elect (sic) Mike Pence in the VP residence. First Lady Michelle Obama gave a White House tour to Melania Trump. Today, it’s November 11, 2020, and instead of inviting the future president of the United States to the White House, Donald Trump is hiding inside his bunker in denial he lost. What makes this even worse is that he has enablers. These enablers are helping Donald Trump thwart democracy.

Republicans are pointing out that Democrats whined about the 2016 election. This is true. I whined. I didn’t like the results. I still don’t like it. But while I said the election was tampered with and Russia meddled, I never said any ballots were fraudulent. No Democrats opposed the transition of power. Today, the Trump administration is not allowing a transfer of power.

The Trump Administration could still pursue legal challenges over the election while allowing the process of a transition to happen. That would be in the best interest of the nation. Instead, offices are not being created for the transition, funds aren’t being released, and the next president isn’t even being given security briefings. These were all acts afforded to Donald Trump when he was the incoming president (sic).

The United States condemns leaders of other nations who refuse to leave office and give up power after losing fair elections. Now, our leader (sic) is refusing to give up power and is hiding inside his palace sending his minions out to help him stage a coup. Donald Trump has not been seen since last Thursday.

Mitch McConnell is supporting Trump’s legal challenges even though there isn’t any evidence of massive voter fraud. Lindsey Graham is telling Trump not to concede. McConnell and Graham both won their Senate elections last week but neither one of these two men refused their opponent’s concessions.

Ted Cruz says allowing the media to declare the winner is not how we do it in America. Except, he was more than happy to accept the media’s declaration of a winner in 2016. He was more than happy to accept their declaration in 2018 when he won reelection to the Senate.

When asked if he had congratulated President-Elect Joe Biden yet, Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, whose state went for Biden, said he doesn’t have anything to congratulate Biden for.

Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana said, “We have got to allow our courts to hear these allegations of voting irregularities by the president.” You may as well allow the courts to hear allegations of lizard people running our government too because you have just as much evidence of that as you do of voter fraud.

North Carolina’s Thom Tillis was finally declared the winner of his race yesterday and he said about the presidential election, “Every vote legally cast must be counted.” Who says they shouldn’t? Who says they haven’t been counted? Guess what. Tillis didn’t stop his opponent from conceding saying, “Every legal vote must be counted” bullshit.

Isn’t it fucked up that right after you elect someone, that they make a pronouncement against democracy and fair elections?

Attorney General William Barr is releasing the Justice Department’s legal hounds to fight Trump’s loss in the courts. Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani is holding press conferences outside dildo shops claiming the election was stolen from Trump.

It’s funny Democrats stole the election for Biden while simultaneously losing the Senate and seats in the House. It’s also funny that it hasn’t occurred to any of these Republicans claiming fraudulent ballots, that they also have their names on those “fraudulent” ballots. If we’re going to wipe out who won the election, that should also mean we wipe out all those Republican victories. Should we wipe out McConnell’s, Graham’s, and Tillis’ victories?

Each government department is being told to prepare their budgets for next year as though the administration will still be operating. As if they’re still going to be in town and not all applying at Fox News at the same time. And Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, the nation’s top diplomat has said there will be a “smooth transition…to a SECOND Trump administration.”

What the fuck? The top diplomat or the world’s leading democracy is telling the world we don’t obey election results anymore. Pompeo said the eletion has not been decided. It has LITERALLY been decided.

Can you imagine the outrage if instead of conceding the election the day after, Hillary Clinton had refused to admit defeat, mounted legal challenged, and claimed the election had been stolen? Can you imagine if instead of inviting Trump to the White House, President Obama had refused to release transition funding?

In Michigan, Trump beat Clinton by 10,704 votes in 2016. In 2020 in Michigan, Biden beat Trump by over 146,000 (and still counting). In case you’re a Republican, 146,000 is greater than 10,000.

In Pennsylvania, Trump beat Clinton by 46,765. In 2020 in Pennsylvania, Biden beat Trump by over 48,000 (and still counting). In case you’re a Republican, 48,000 is more than 46,000. Now, Trump is suing to overturn the election in Pennsylvania.

As the counting continues, Biden is heading for a 306 electoral vote win. That’s the exact same amount Trump won with in 2016. How are they going to win the presidency by overturning one state without any actual evidence of election fraud? They would need to overturn more than one state. Maybe they can do it in Georgia where the two GOP senators are calling for their own Republican Secretary of State to resign because they don’t like that his count shows Donald Trump is losing.

This is banana republic type shit here, people. This is a coup attempt. Maybe people like Pompeo are just trying to appease Trump for now. Maybe Pompeo is a coward. He wants to appease Trump’s base for when he runs for the Senate in Kansas or even for the presidency in 2024, if Trump doesn’t. Or maybe, he’s afraid of being fired two months before he’s scheduled to lose his job. Trump is already lashing out and firing people.

Maybe people like Mitch McConnell, John Kennedy (not the good one), Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Thom Tillis, and Ted Cruz are all just big, fat ass kissers. Or…they’re trying to steal an election and are engaging in a coup.

I predicted before the election that Joe Biden would win…but I did not predict he’d take the White House because I was afraid the Republicans would try to steal the election. Even before the election, Trump said the only way he could lose was if there was corruption and voter fraud. Boy, did I call it or did I call it?

We know this about Trump supporters: They are all cowards. They have made their party into one of a cult. They put one man before their nation. They are putting one man before democracy. They don’t care if they turn our democracy into a dictatorship.

The Trump administration will NOT legally continue, but the resistance must.

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Big Girls Don’t Cry


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Of course, the accusations of voter fraud being leveled by Donald Trump are total and complete bullshit. These are the actions of a sore loser. But even without any actual evidence of voter fraud, Trump’s personal Roy Cohn Attorney General William Barr, is having the Justice Department investigate it. Let’s hope he’s more capable than Rudy Giuliani.

But if you’re going on a conspiracy theory snipe hunt, who better to lead the hunt than Rudy? Rudy can do the job with one hand tied behind his back…or more specifically, shoved down his own pants while in a hotel room with Borat’s teenage daughter.

In an attempt to steal an election, Republicans are claiming Democrats are trying to steal the election. They’re saying the media can’t declare a victor even though they had no problem with that four years ago. Republicans are claiming massive acts of voter fraud occurred in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania, even though the margins Biden has beaten Trump in each of those states are much larger than the margins Trump beat Clinton with.

And while the Trump campaign is filing lawsuits in multiple states, their battle is focused on Pennsylvania, which put Biden over 270 to win the presidency and make Donald Trump a one-term loser. And it’s in Pennsylvania where Rudy Giuliani called a hastily-planned press conference last Saturday to spread conspiracy theories.

Donald Trump tweeted that the press conference would be conducted at the Four Seasons hotel in Philadelphia. The hotel quickly tweeted out, “Uh-uh.”

The Four Seasons HOTEL tweeted, “To clarify, President Trump’s press conference will NOT be held at Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia. It will be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping— no relation with the hotel.” The hotel sounded like Han Solo in the Death Star’s cellblock. Please don’t send stormtroopers down here. Or in this case, please don’t send MAGAts over here.

Wait. If it wasn’t held at the Four Seasons HOTEL, then where was it held? The Four Seasons Total Landscaping? Where is that? Oh, it’s in an industrial park next to Fantasy Island Adult Books and Novelties and across the street from the Delaware Valley Cremation Center. To capture the spirit of the environment, which was a parking lot, Rudy even brought along a sex offender. Seriously.

While the internet was amused, with tweets mocking Rudy, people designing their own T-shirts for the landscaping company, and crazy reviews hitting it on Yelp and Google, not everyonewas having fun.

A 78-year-old employee manning the counter at the sex shop grew annoyed that people kept calling asking, “Is Rudy Giuliani there?” He was tired of screaming at people over the phone, “Stop calling here asking that…and yes. He’s been here for hours!”

With the amount of bullshit Rudy spread, he’s probably the first person to bring his own fertilizer to a landscaping company. If Donald Trump is hinging his presidency on the mind of Rudy Giuliani, we may as well swear in Joe Biden now.

There is no proof of massive voter fraud in the 2020 election, but there’s LOTS of proof Rudy Giuliani is insane.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Subsequent Drawing Cartoon


cjones10242020

It’s not usual for me to draw two Rudy Giuliani cartoons in a row. But dammit. After publishing yesterday’s cartoon about Rudy chasing Hunter Biden conspiracy theories and Jeffrey Toobin having his penis out during a Zoom meeting, Rudy had to go make his own penis news.

The sequel to the first Borat movie will be released this Friday on Amazon. Like the first film, actor Sacha Baron Cohen, in his Borat character, spoofs people who don’t know they’re going to be in a movie. It was harder to do that a second time around giving that the public knows who Borat is now, but it looks like he still had a lot of success. One of those spoofed was Rudy Giuliani.

Previously, Rudy put out a statement that Borat had failed to trick him. Yet, for some reason, Rudy Giuliani still ends up in a hotel room with an underage girl with his own hand down his pants fondling himself. Maybe he thought she was his cousin.

We had two penis controversies by the middle of the week. Seriously, it’ll be an accomplishment if we can get through Friday without seeing some old politician’s penis.

The fictional character Borat is from Kazakhstan. In case you’re a Republican, that’s a country. Maybe Rudy, who’s been investigating the Biden’s “corruption” in Ukraine (which is a former Soviet state) can now say he was attacked by Kazakhstan who is trying to help Joe Biden and hurt Donald Trump.

While I was trying to think about what sort of cartoon I could draw about Rudy’s penis, seriously, John Ratcliffe, who is the unqualified Director of National Intelligence and a Trump goon, along with the Director of the FBI, Christopher Wray, staged a press conference about election meddling.

While Russian meddling was mentioned, Ratface specifically cited Iran and their attempts to “harm Donald Trump.”

Voters in four states received emails with physical threats unless they voted for Donald Trump. The emails claimed they were from the Proud Boys, the racist group Donald Trump gave a shout-out to during the first debate.

Ratcliffe said the emails were NOT from the Proud Boys but from Iran, trying to hurt Donald Trump.

Basically, the theory is: Iran wants to hurt Donald Trump, so they sent emails to voters threating to hurt them if they don’t vote for Donald Trump and the idea is there will be a backlash and this will hurt Donald Trump and help Joe Biden. Confused?

Ratcliffe also claimed the Iranians “hacked” and stole voter information like addresses and emails, which is already public information. Still confused?

The emails to voters said, “You will vote for Trump on Election Day or we will come after you.” The real Proud Boys will be doing that on election day at the polls, not after.

The thing is though, we can’t trust Ratcliffe. He’s a stooge and a goon for Donald Trump. He’s not a career professional in intelligence and has even refused to conduct the usual intelligence briefings with Congress in fear information can hurt Donald Trump.

The other thing is: Last night’s press conference was hastily planned. Do you remember the last time the FBI held a press conference days before an election? That was in 2016 when they announced they were investigating Hilary Clinton again…then announced they couldn’t find anything. That too was initiated by a Weiner…Anthony Weiner.

The FBI needs to stop calling press conferences until AFTER the election. Did they learn nothing from James Comey? And since John Ratcliffe can’t share information with Congress, he needs to crawl into a hole between now and election day and STOP trying to do his own meddling.

Russia is the major player in election meddling. Trump goon William Barr, the Attorney General, refuses to acknowledge that. Yesterday, Trump goon Ratcliffe only wanted to talk about Iran. Rudy only wants to talk about Ukraine.

I just know this: If you run into any of these guys, make sure you have hand sanitizer.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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