I was planning on drawing about Martha Stewart or John Durham today…and then Rudy Giuliani happened…again. And I thought, how can I not do something on Rudy? He has to take precedence seeing how disgusting, rotten, and corrupt he is.
Noelle Dunphy, who says she worked as an off-the-books employee for Giuliani during his stint as Donald Trump’s personal election-stealing lawyer claims he sexually harassed her, coerced her into sex, and still owes her $2 million, is suing the former mayor. But the biggest allegation she’s making is that Rudy claimed he and Trump were selling presidential pardons for $2 million.
She and her lawyers claim they have recorded evidence for much of her allegations except for the pardon thing. Dammit. Dunphy filed a 70-page legal complaint yesterday in Manhattan.
Giuliani’s lawyer said Rudy “vehemently” denies the claim and “Mayor Giuliani’s lifetime of public service speaks for itself.” Ooooh, yeah…you might want to find another defense. Rudy’s public service of late includes him helping Donald Trump try to steal an election, lying in court repeatedly, farting during state legislature hearings, conducting press conferences with hair dye running down his face, conducting one press conference at Four Seasons Landscaping next to a dildo shop because he confused “Four Seasons” for the hotel, and had his license to practice law suspended in New York and Washington, D.C. Yes, Rudy’s public service certainly does speak for itself. You might want to tell it to shut up, Mr. Lawyer Man.
Also, if you saw Borat II, then the allegations against Rudy are very believable.
Dunphy says she has numerous audio recordings of Rudy making sexual comments, demanding sex, and making sexist, racist, and antisemitic remarks. The complaint also includes screenshots of suggestive text messages she claims are from Rudy.
The lawsuit claims Rudy hired Dunphy in January 2019 and promised to pay her $1 million per year for her consulting work which he called a “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.” Get over yourself, Rudy. Then, after she started working for him, Rudy told her that he couldn’t pay her until he settled his divorce from his third wife, the one who is not his cousin.
Dunphy also claims that Rudy started making sexual advances, including kissing her in the back of an SUV on her first day and demanding that she take care of him sexually, sometimes while he was on the phone with high-profile friends and clients. She also claims that Rudy would demand she work in a bikini or in American flag-themed shorts he bought for her, and he urged her to strip naked for him during video meetings.
I really want to hear the audio recordings…and then I’ll probably have to take a shower after.
I hope Rudy doesn’t have Martha’s phone number.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
I don’t know what Lisa’s talking about. MAGAts been making false claims about being persecuted by big tech and social media, but that’s not “news.” And another thing, news should be news, not conservative news and not liberal news. Yes, there will always be biases but no network should specifically target one demographic. The problem for right-wingers is that facts have a liberal bias. And taking in yesterday’s NEWS about Dominion suing Fox News is why I think Lisa’s cartoon has horrible timing. It doesn’t reflect reality but then again, that’s the entire basis of the Dominion lawsuit.
Dominion is making a case that Fox News knows they don’t reflect reality. I’ve been making an argument that MAGAt cartoonists, and the cartoonist who works for Sputnik, don’t reflect reality.
Dominion Voting Systems is suing Fox News for spreading lies about their products. Fox News aired claims by Trump and his lawyerly goons, Sidney Powell and Rudy Giuliani that Dominion was corrupt and switched votes from Trump to Joe Biden, thus stealing the election from Trump for Biden. The lies are preposterous as there were claims of meddling by George Soros, Italian satellites, and Hugo Chavez’s ghost. They’ve also pushed debunked lies about “illegal” immigrants and dead people voting.
The fact is, the only people who tried to steal an election was Trump and his goons. Trump called Georgia’s Secretary of State and literally told the guy to find him “11,780 votes.”
Fox News didn’t just report on the lies, they pushed the lies. And the worst part is, they knew they were lying.
A filing in a Delaware state court by Dominion reveals emails and texts that top executives and hosts didn’t believe Trump’s election lies or the multiple conspiracy theories he and his goons spread.
Tucker Carlson texted Laura Ingraham, “Sidney Powell is lying by the way. I caught her. It’s insane.” Ingraham replied, “Sidney is a complete nut. No one will work with her. Ditto with Rudy.” Yet, they continued to give air time to those “complete nuts.”
Testimony claims that Carlson confronted Sidney Powell and said, “You keep telling our viewers that millions of votes were changed by the software. I hope you will prove that very soon. You’ve convinced them that Trump will win. If you don’t have conclusive evidence of fraud at that scale, it’s a cruel and reckless thing to keep saying.”
It was a cruel and reckless thing to keep saying, yet he kept giving her air time to say it.
The filings show that Carlson and Sean Hannity pressured network leaders to fire Fox News White House correspondent Jacqui Heinrich after she tweeted a fact-check of a Trump tweet promoting lies about Dominion Voting Systems.
Tucker told Sean, “Please get her fired. Seriously….What the fuck? I’m actually shocked…It needs to stop immediately, like tonight. It’s measurably hurting the company. The stock price is down. Not a joke.” Sean replied, “I’m 3 strikes. Wallace shit debate[.] Election night a disaster[.] Now this BS? Nope. Not gonna fly. Did I mention Cavuto?”
After their complaints, she deleted her tweet. These dicks were trying to get a woman fired for fact-checking and telling the truth. Fox News, where truth and fact-checkers are fired.
It wasn’t just Tucker, Sean, and Laura.
After White House correspondent Kristin Fisher fact-checked claims that Powell and Giuliani made at a Nov. 19, 2020, press conference, Washington Bureau Chief Bryan Boughton told Fisher that she needed to do a better job of “respecting our audience.” She was told that she needed to respect that Fox News’ audience is made up of conspiracy-loving MAGAt fucknuts who can’t handle the truth. And if you tell them the truth, they’ll change the channel.
If Fox News won’t lie to their MAGAt viewers, they’ll change the channel to a station that will, which is what they did by changing over to Newsmax, which is a little poodle of a conspiracy network nipping at Fox News’ heels.
Tucker texted a producer, “Do the executives understand how much credibility and trust we’ve lost with our audience? We’re playing with fire, for real….an alternative like Newsmax could be devastating to us.” Tucker believes you lose trust by being trustworthy.
Lauren Petterson, the president of Fox Business Network, wrote to other company execs, of Newsmax, “They definitely have a strategy across all shows to try to target and steal our viewers.”
Jay Wallace, the president of Fox News Channel, wrote to fellow execs, “The Newsmax surge is a bit troubling—truly is an alternative universe when you watch, but it can’t be ignored.” Dominion Voting Systems didn’t ignore Newsmax and they’re suing them too.
Between the election and the January 6 insurrection, Fox News’ viewers left and their ratings fell to third place behind MSNBC and CNN. Fox News was the first network to call Arizona for Joe Biden on election night, and that was the moment goons, fucknuts, and yee-haw fuckers started changing the channel over to Newsmax.
It went all the way to the top. Rupert Murdoch knew Trump’s lawyers were lying and told Fox News Media CEO Suzanne Scott: “Terrible stuff damaging everybody, I fear.”
On Jan. 5, 2021, a day before the deadly attack on the U.S. Capitol by Trump’s white nationalist MAGA terrorists, Murdoch wrote to Scott saying, “It’s been suggested our prime time three should independently or together say something like ‘the election is over and Joe Biden won.'” Murdoch told Scott that such a statement “would go a long way to stop the Trump myth that the election (was) stolen.” Such a statement never came which means Fox News may have been able to prevent the attack on the Capitol. It means Fox News was culpable in the attack.
Fox News put the safety of this nation at risk in favor of ratings and profit. They knew they were lying.
Murdoch told Fox News leadership that Giuliani was to be taken “with a very large grain of salt,” and bemoaned the fact Rudy was advising Trump in the post-election period yet, they still put him on the air and helped him push the Big Lie.
Fox News claims that Dominion “cherry-picked” statements for its case, but can’t argue that they didn’t know Trump, Rudy, and Sidney were lying. Fox News can’t claim they actually believed Donald Trump won or that the election was stolen. And the thing is, they’re still pushing these lies.
Dominion is seeking $1.6 billion from Fox News. Quite frankly, I think we should all sue Fox News for the damage they inflicted on this nation.
Fox News is NOT a news source. They’re propaganda which this filing by Dominion proves. They state behind closed doors that their audience can’t handle the truth and that they need to choose lies and conspiracy theories over facts to increase ratings.
The next time you hear a MAGAt goon brag about how Fox News is the ratings leader in news, and that CNN and MSNBC lag far behind, point out that Fox News isn’t a news channel. I don’t know if actual news channels can ever maintain higher ratings than Fox News because there seems to be a larger market for lies and bullshit than facts. Facts can be uncomfortable and Fox News has to “respect their audience.”
Fox News argues that this nation isn’t racist, but the fact they’re the ratings leader argues that is is.
Disclaimer note: I have argued with cartoonist Ted Rall in the past that every time he does a cartoon about Russia or Ukraine, he needs to issue a disclaimer that he works for Russia, as he draws cartoons for Sputnik, a Russian-owned state propaganda outlet. He argues back that I need to place a disclaimer that I work for CNN, as though his fascist-owned propaganda outlet is equivalent to a legitimate news outlet. But today I decided that since I’m commenting on a CNN issue and one of their competitors, that I should add the disclaimer. And I’ll continue to add a disclaimer in the future when I draw cartoons about CNN or its competitors. It’s what a responsible journalist should do, which Ted Rall is NOT.
Music note: I listened to The Rolling Stones and The Who.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
This is my concern…or another one of my concerns. If a Trump-appointed judge can install a Special Master to go over every single document the FBI seized from Trump’s bedbug-ridden country club (MAGA-Lard-O is it?) to decide what the Justice Department can and can’t use as evidence (mostly can’t here), then who will she pick?
These people do their gooning with a straight face. They pretend they’re impartial and doing their jobs correctly. They claim they’re serving the people of this nation when in fact, they’re just serving one man. It’s why they all have brown noses.
This judge in Florida who granted Trump’s request for additional privilege and to stall the investigation is obtuse to the fact that we all know she’s a Trump appointee whose confirmation was rushed through the Senate in Trump’s final days in office. In this case, she hasn’t just stalled the investigation. She’s stopped it entirely until the Special Master says he’s done. How long will that take? Hell, maybe Trump will be president (sic) again by the time he says he’s done. Maybe Merrick Garland will no longer be the Attorney General. Maybe by the time the Special Master is done, the Justice Department will revert back to being the Department of Protecting Donald Trump’s Bulbous Orange Ass.
With a straight face, this judge publicly rejected DOJ’s argument to treat Trump like any other subject of an investigation and issued an opinion that he should receive special treatment. The judge has concerns that there’s a public perception of bias against Trump, but no worries about the perception she’s biased toward him.
I made a comment in yesterday’s blog that the judge may appoint a Trump goon to be the Special Master… someone like Rudy Giuliani, the MyPillow fucker, or Tucker Carlson. Then I thought, that’s a cartoon and I better do it before another cartoonist reads my blog and steals it.
When the Special Master appoints a Republican to the post, expect her to do it with a straight face. Expect Trump to issue a “truth” stating he trusts the Special Master’s judgment. Expect Fox News to praise the appointment. Expect Kevin McCarthy to ejaculate praise all over Twitter for the appointment. When all that happens, that’s when you’ll know we’re fucked.
How can so many Trumpers and MAGAts scream without any evidence that the Justice Department is corrupt and has been politicized but not have any concerns that a Trump-appointed judge just paused an investigation into Donald Trump stealing classified documents and storing them in a Country Club?
With a straight face, these people are hypocrites.
Music note: I listened to the Fray and Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
Rudy is in extreme danger of serving the rest of his life in prison and he’s probably too obnoxious and narcissistic to realize it.
Rudy used to put people in prison. In fact, he was damn good at it. It was his reputation for putting mobsters behind bars that got him elected as New York City’s mayor. Rudy is to New York City what Ronald Reagan is to America. Ronald Reagan was a bad president but people, not just Republicans, swore up and down for decades he was a great one. Before Trump turned the GOP into a cult, you couldn’t win a Republican primary without being a Reagan Republican. Rudy achieved the nickname and designation as “America’s mayor” while the fact is, he was a horrible mayor. And now, he’s a horrible lawyer.
Rudy lost his mind over the past 20 years since 9/11. The man who used to put mobsters in prison went to work for a dime-store clown mobster in Donald Trump. Now, the guy who prosecuted the mob may go to prison for racketeering.
Rudy pursued dirt on Joe and Hunter Biden in Ukraine, but couldn’t find anything, so he went on cable TV to spread conspiracy theories. He made threatening phone calls to Ukrainian officials that they better help Trump by providing him dirt on Joe and Hunter Biden, or at least lie and say they did.
He was Trump’s defender over the hush money payment to Stormy Daniels but messed up on Hannity by admitting Trump did make the payments and that they were funneled through shell companies. Maybe Rudy learned a thing or two from prosecuting mobsters.
And then Rudy was one of the chief strategists and public faces of Trump’s election steal. He was the champion of the Big Lie. Rudy held a press conference in Pennsylvania, thinking he booked it at the Four Seasons Hotel but instead, held it at Four Seasons Total Landscaping next to a porn shop. Rudy testified before several state legislative committees, loudly farting during his testimony. He held another press conference where the generic hair dye in his hair began to drip down his face.
In depositions screened by the House committee investigating January 6, a parade of Trump advisers testified that they told Trump what they thought of Rudy’s claims he won the election: “Bullshit.” “Completely bogus.” “Silly.” “Completely nuts.” “Crazy.” “Incorrect.” “Debunked.” “Idiotic.”
Adviser Jason Miller said he thought Rudy was drunk on election night when he told Trump to “just say we won,” without any evidence as states started to fall for Biden.
Rudy claimed such crazy shit as there were votes “in garbage cans” and in “shopping baskets” being wheeled in for counting under orders from Frankfurt, Germany. He claimed Eight thousand dead people voted in Pennsylvania when there weren’t even eight. He said there was a suitcase full of ballots pulled from under a table in Georgia which was another lie. And there was the lie that votes were manipulated by Italian satellites and the deceased dictator of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez. He even publicly attacked Georgia election workers and sent goons after them by naming them.
America’s mayor had become not only a laughingstock but also very dangerous.
In courtrooms, Rudy made several presentations that were full of debunked lies. It was for this reason that Rudy’s licenses to practice law in New York and Washington, D.C. were suspended.
Yesterday, we learned that Rudy is a criminal target in Georgia’s investigation into election tampering. Rudy is scheduled to testify before the grand jury tomorrow and if he’s smart, he’ll listen to his lawyers telling him to plead the Fifth. He may not be that smart.
The grand jury has a lot of questions about Giuliani’s appearances before state legislative panels in December 2020, when he spent hours peddling false conspiracy theories about secret suitcases of Democratic ballots and corrupted voting machines.
Rudy was also part of the conspiracy to create fake electors for states to send to Washington to certify Trump as the winner of the election he lost to Joe Biden.
And if all that wasn’t enough for Rudy, he’s being sued by voting machine companies, Dominion and Smartmatic, for lies he told about their products. The companies are seeking billions with a “b.”
Rudy believes he has attorney/client privilege, but you don’t have that when you’re conspiring with your client to break the law. A lawyer doesn’t have privileges to lie and claim stuff like tens of thousands of underage teenagers had voted illegally in Georgia when there were actually zero with a “z.”
If Rudy goes to jail, do you think Trump cares? According to some reports, Trump stopped paying Rudy.
But here’s the fun part, kids: If Rudy is a criminal target, then so is Donald Trump. We’ll find out soon just how loyal Rudy really is to Trump.
I’m not a lawyer, but if I were, I’d be a better one than Rudy. And if I were Rudy’s lawyer, I’d advise him to roll on Trump faster than Josh Hawley can run from an angry white nationalist mob he instigated.
Music Note: I listened to Everclear’s album “So Much for the Afterglow.”
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
I’m using a little creative license here because Donald Trump is not paying legal fees for people called to testify before the January 6 Committee investigating his coup attempt. Hell, Donald Trump doesn’t pay for his own lawyers. Ask Rudy.
Donald Trump is not paying for witnesses’ lawyers, but his political action committee and goon allies are paying for the legal representation of over a dozen individuals called to testify. Several witnesses have received promises that their legal fees will be taken care of.
It’s not illegal for Trump, his friends, or his super PAC to pay for anyone’s legal fees. However, lawyers are supposed to represent the interest of their clients, not the person or organization footing the bill. Since lawyers associated with Trump from Bill Barr to Rudy Giuliani have a history of being goons, their loyalty is questioned. It’s hard to believe that a guy who demands loyalty from everyone associated with him wouldn’t expect loyalty from someone he’s paying.
According to financial disclosures, in May alone, Trump’s “Save America” super PAC paid about $200,000 to law firms. The payments include $75,000 to JPRowley Law, which represents Cleta Mitchell, a pro-Trump lawyer who has filed suit to try to block the committee’s subpoena, and $50,000 to Silverman, Thompson, Slutkin & White, which has represented white nationalist Trump goon Steve Bannon, who refused to meet with the panel and has been charged with criminal contempt. The super PAC has also paid legal fees for Trump’s racist immigration guru Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller.
More than a dozen witnesses have also received free legal advice and had attorney’s fees paid for by the American Conservative Union’s “First Amendment Fund,” which consults with Trump’s team about whose fees to cover. Do you believe they’ll pay a legal bill for someone who testifies that Trump got the giggles when he heard the “hang Mike Pence” chants?
Matt Whitaker, who was illegally interim Attorney General between Jeff Sessions and William Barr because he was never confirmed by the Senate, is on the board of one of the Trump PACs and is “counseling” and “giving advice” to witnesses.
Since there are so many conservatives who want to pay the legal fees of terrorists, al-Qaida should seriously consider starting a super PAC.
Now we learn that Cassidy Hutchinson, the former assistant to Trump’s Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, fired a lawyer that Trump allies recommended to her. We don’t know if this is the reason she testified before the committee last week where she revealed such titillating details like Trump throwing a ketchup-laced temper tantrum, physically attacking his Secret Service detail in order to go to the Capitol on Insurrection Day, and that he wanted security to allow his armed supporters to proceed to the Capitol. Would a lawyer paid by people in Trump World support her giving testimony damaging to Trump?
Donald Trump is claiming Hutchinson’s new lawyer could have prompted her to make false statements and he “truthed” out, “Her story totally changed!” It probably changed from the story his lawyer told her to give.
Hutchinson told the committee she was among the witnesses who have been contacted by Trump goons suggesting they would be better off if they remained loyal to Trump. Some witnesses have been told that Trump knows they’re loyal and he’s watching them.
Trump has a history of witness tampering. During the Mueller investigation of his collusion with Russia and Putin, he would tweet out hints of pardons for people refusing to cooperate with the investigation. Trump goons Paul Manafort, Michael Flynn, and Roger Stone did not cooperate and all received presidential pardons from Trump.
Promising to eventually pay for a witness’s legal fees sounds like a promise to pay dependent upon what the witness says. That would be witness tampering. Gosh, would a lawyer in Trump’s orbit be involved in some lying shady-ass fascist bullshit? Have you seen Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell?
Sidney Powell was Michael Flynn’s lawyer when he got the pardon…and then she joined the Trump team trying to overturn the election. If that’s not a conflict of interest then I don’t know what is. Her client Michael Flynn literally advocated for a military-style coup. He’s also testified before the committee and took the fifth when questioned if he believes in a peaceful transfer of power between presidential administrations. Whos’ paying his legal fees now?
I have two pieces of advice for people with lawyers provided by MAGA world: Don’t use those lawyers but if you do, insist they’re paid upfront. Pay for your lawyers? Hell, Trump hasn’t even paid Rudy yet.
Music note: I listened to Verbena while drawing today.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
Rudy Giuliani may have been inebriated on election night 2020 when he told Donald Trump to declare victory even though no one had called the election yet. Rudy could have been totally drunk, schnockered, three sheets to the wind, blitzed, bombed, stoned, pissed, stewed, wrecked, plastered, soaked, pickled, legless, mullered, zonked, trashed, loaded, hammered, wasted, boozed-up, and wearing a lampshade on his head and Donald Trump still would have taken his advice over what the experts were telling him.
We can call Rudy a fool all day long, and we will, but who’s the bigger fool? Rudy or the guy following him?
Donald Trump was stone-cold sober when he took Rudy’s advice and declared he won the election. In fact, Donald Trump has been declaring himself the winner of the 2020 election ever since all while promoting one insane conspiracy theory after another and according to everyone who knows him, Donald Trump doesn’t drink.
I don’t want to beat up on Rudy Giuliani too much for being drunk. But it has to be pointed out because it’s relevant. Usually, on election nights, candidates want to talk to the data people, the people with numbers. The Trump Campaign’s data was just as good as that of the Biden campaign or any media outlet, but Trump didn’t want to hear from his data guy because he didn’t like what he had to say. The only person Donald Trump wanted to talk to on election night was the drunk guy, Rudy Giuliani.
On election nights, I’m listening to the data people. I’m going back and forth from CNN’s Harry Enten to MSNBC’s Steve Kornacki. I want to know what votes are in, where they’re from, what votes are still out, and where they’re coming from? I’m listening to the data people, not the drunks. And, I’m just a cartoonist. So, why wasn’t the candidate listening to the data people on election night? Hmm?
Trump’s data guy was telling Trump there was no way he was going to win the election. He had the numbers. Campaigns don’t hire data people to tell them what they want to hear or lie to them. The data guy saw the votes Trump and Biden both had and he saw where the incoming votes were coming from. He knew Trump was going to lose. Drunk Rudy on the other hand told Trump to ignore the numbers and go ahead and declare victory.
That’s exactly what Donald Trump did. He declared victory even though his campaign had yet to tell him he won…and never would. In fact, all the votes were still being counted and nobody had won the election yet. None of the news outlets had called the election before Trump did on election night. In fact, no news outlets called the election until that Saturday, November 7, four days after the election, when the lead for Biden In Pennsylvania was above the recount threshold. We knew Biden was going to win for those four days, as that’s what the numbers were telling us, but there weren’t enough states called yet.
But, most states were called on election night. A few were toss-ups for several days, but Fox News called Arizona for Joe Biden on election night. That made Jared Kushner call Rupert Murdoch directly and whine (see what I did there?) and demand that Fox News stop calling states for Biden. This is another example of Fox News not being a legitimate news outlet. In fact, the data guy for Fox News who added up the numbers and said Biden would win Arizona…was fired. Fox News fired a guy for counting the right numbers who they hired to count numbers. Fox News still called the election for Biden on November 7.
Adding numbers should be non-partisan. Even if you are partisan, you should still be able to know two plus two equals four…unless you’re drunk. Sure, Rudy’s drunk but what’s the excuse for every MAGAt who still believes Trump won? I mean, his Attorney General knows Trump didn’t win. His lawyers, the sober ones, know Trump didn’t win. His data people know Trump didn’t win. Even his own daughter knows he didn’t win. So, if you’re a MAGAt still screaming that Trump won and there was massive election fraud, whatcha drinkin’, man?
As I tweeted yesterday, I have never been drunk enough to believe Donald Trump won the election in 2020. For that matter, I didn’t get drunk enough when he “won” in 2016.
But back to Rudy, how can you tell when he’s drunk and not just being Rudy? Was he drunk or just being Rudy all those times he butt-dialed reporters and kept talking? Was he drunk or just being Rudy each time he couldn’t figure out how to unlock his phone despite being the president of a cyber security company? Was he drunk or just being Rudy that time he called the president (sic) of the United States from Kyiv on a cell phone where Russians would listen in? Was he drunk or just being Rudy all the times he went to Ukraine looking for evidence that Ukraine helped Hillary in the 2016 election? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he went to Ukraine looking for dirt on Hunter Biden? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he admitted to Sean Hannity that the Trump Campaign “funneled” hush money to Stormy Daniels? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he confused Four Seasons Landscaping for the Four Seasons Hotel? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he held a press conference outside the landscaping place next to a dildo store? Was he drunk or just being Rudy while farting while giving testimony to a state legislature? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he used conspiracy theories while testifying to a state legislature. Was he drunk or just being Rudy each time he believed the bullshit Sidney Powell was saying? Was he drunk or just being Rudy each time he went to a court using conspiracy theories as evidence of election fraud? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when his law license was suspended in New York and Washington, D.C. for lying in court? Was he drunk or just being Rudy each time he talked about Hunter Biden’s laptop? Was he drunk or just being Rudy when he told his son, “Sure, you can be elected governor of New York”?
And finally, was he drunk or just being Rudy when he told Donald Trump to declare he won the election even though he hadn’t?
One thing I know is that each time Donald Trump lied and grifted, he wasn’t drunk. He was just being Donald Trump.
Music Note: I listened to Peter Frampton while drawing this morning.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
I was scrolling down my Facebook news feed yesterday and saw a Daily Beast article about Rudy Giuliani being on The Masked Singer. I thought it was weird there was an Onion headline at the Daily Beast, so I clicked the link…and it didn’t work. So, I figured there must be some sort of problem or glitch that somehow landed an Onion headline on a feed from a legitimate news outlet. I mean, Rudy Giuliani on The Masked Singer? That’s satire, right?
Nope. Rudy Giuliani appeared on The Masked Singer. But keep in mind, he also once did a drag thing where he dressed as an ugly woman who Donald Trump was hitting on. I don’t know if that was for a television program or just a Tuesday.
Just to be sure I wasn’t being hoodwinked by some parody site, I did a Google news search for “Rudy Giuliani” and “Masked Singer,” and there it was. Seriously.
As Jimmy Kimmel said, “Only Rudy Giuliani would try to overthrow the government, break wind loudly in court, sweat hair dye all over one press conference, have another one next to a dildo store and then try to rehabilitate his image by singing ‘Shake Your Groove Thing’ dressed as a pineapple.”
I have a CNN deadline I need to meet, so let’s cut my creative process short today, and do some more comedian quotes.
“Now, if you’re not familiar with ‘The Masked Singer,’ congratulations.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Once again, Rudy Giuliani ruins the day by showing people his face.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Why would Rudy even agree to this? Did he think he was going to ‘The Masked Singer Landscaping Company’?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Rudy’s episode has not aired yet, so we don’t know much beyond that. Fox isn’t revealing what his swan song was, or which animal costume Rudy wore, though it was safe to assume he was a jackass.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“One of the most chilling phrases in the English language is ‘Surprise! It’s Rudy Giuliani!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The only people who should be unmasking Rudy Giuliani is the gang from ‘Scooby Doo,’ you know?” — JIMMY KIMMEL Note: I did a Rudy Giuliani Scooby Doo cartoon last year.
“That’s right, the criminal goon that we know for a fact is being investigated for trying to overthrow our democracy for his idiot emperor was yukking it up on a reality show. There hasn’t been anything this shocking since Lee Harvey Oswald made a guest appearance on ‘Gilligan’s Island.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“How does this even happen? I mean, a lot of people at Fox had to sign off on this. Not one of them was like, ‘Hey, maybe we shouldn’t have the guy who is under investigation for helping to plot an insurrection singing on our show’?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Jimmy makes a great point. How can any television executive believe it’s a great idea to put a gangster who helped try to overthrow the government on a reality television show, or at least one that’s not Celebrity Apprecentice. It’s tacky. Dancing With The Stars didn’t bring bin Laden on to do the Charleston. Laugh-In didn’t bring in Charles Manson, though they did bring in Richard Nixon.
But this is Fox. Don’t forget that a month or so ago, they brought on Sarah Palin who is now arguing in an unrelated court case that her appearance on the Masked Singer shouldn’t be mentioned as it’ll give the jury a biased opinion of her. That’s another thing to wonder about. How do you find 12 people in this nation with an unbiased opinion of Sarah Palin?
While Fox executives may be brain dead and totally classless, two of the judges on The Masked Singer do have class. Judges Ken Jeong (of tiny penis fame from his The Hangover appearance) and Robin Thicke (who I’m sure was famous for something before becoming a judge on this crappy reality TV show) walked out after Rudy’s mask came off.
Rudy Giuliani doesn’t need to be singing on a bad reality TV show, though I’m sure he desperately needs the cash because I heard Donald Trump stopped paying him for his “legal” work. He’s also lost his ability to practice law in New York and Washington, D.C. for being a lying goon. Where Rudy does need to be singing is before the January 6 Committee.
And if Rudy wants, I’m sure the committee won’t mind if he wears the giant pineapple costume.
Music Note: I listened to The Beatles while drawing today.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
One of the failed plots in Donald Trump’s attempt to overturn the 2020 presidential election and become the United States’ first dictator was to seize voting machines.
A new report in The New York Times reveals that Donald Trump considered ordering three different government agencies to seize voting machines before the January 6 attack on the Capitol.
First, Trump tried to convince his Attorney General William Barr that the Justice Department had the authority to seize voting machines. Despite arguments from goons like Sidney Powell and Michael Flynn, Barr told Trump the Justice Department has zero authority to seize voting machines.
You know it’s a really bad idea when Trump’s personal defender, William Barr, wouldn’t go along with it. Barr bailed on this shit show a month before his term was to expire.
Next, there was the idea of using the military to seize voting machines, which was advocated by disgraced general and Putin stooge Michael Flynn. This idea was so bad that even Rudy Giuliani was against it. This is like the time I ordered anchovies on a pizza and even my dog, an animal that would lick his own butt, wouldn’t touch it. Rudy’s the dog here and has been known to lick Trump’s butt. Rudy went along with Italian satellites, bamboo ballots, George Soros and Hugo Chavez meddling, corrupt voting machines, and appointing Sidney Powell as a special counsel to investigate voter fraud, but ordering the military to seize voting machines was the anchovies on that shit pizza.
The third try was to get Giuliani to call the Department of Homeland Security to seize voting machines, but that agency too denied the requests.
This scheme was to seize the machines so they could claim they were corrupt and use that argument to convince swing states to name alternative electors, giving their states, that President Joe Biden won, to Trump.
There is no secret that Donald Trump tried to overturn the election. He even said so over the weekend stating at one of his hate rallies he wanted Mike Pence to “overturn” the election. He even suggested at the same rally that if he’s reelected, or can steal the 2024 presidential election, he will pardon the white nationalist terrorists who attacked the Capitol on January 6, 2021. And then he promoted “protests” at places that are investigating him.
After the Supreme Court ruled the National Archives had to turn over White House documents requested by the House January 6 committee, the National Archives revealed that some of the 700 documents they sent had been ripped up by Donald Trump.
These documents include diaries, schedules, handwritten notes, speeches, and remarks. There are also reports there are unsigned executive orders that were ripped apart. If this is true, were they orders to seize voting machines? Maybe there were orders we don’t know about yet like every Giuliani fart was to be counted as another ballot for Trump. Wow, Trump did win in a stinky landslide. Maybe there was an order to put anchovies on electors, which would keep anyone from counting them.
It was documented as early as 2018 that Trump liked to rip apart documents. After a meeting with Vladimir Putin where only his and the Russian dictator’s translators were present, Trump destroyed his translator’s notes.
A records management analyst and another staffer for the White House would spend hours using Scotch tape to piece records back together that Trump had torn apart. After the analyst told Trump he needed to stop destroying records, Trump fired both staffers and banned Scotch tape from the White House. Sniffing airplane glue was still allowed.
It’s probably illegal for a president to destroy White House documents…or for anyone to destroy White House documents.
Stephen Gillers, a New York University law professor said destroying White House documents “could be a crime under several statutes that make it a crime to destroy government property if that was the intent of the defendant.” He explained further, “A president does not own the records generated by his own administration. The definition of presidential records is broad. Trump’s own notes to himself could qualify and destroying them could be the criminal destruction of government property.”
Since the documents are government property, and not Trump’s to do with as he wishes, it may still be a crime to destroy them, even if it’s not an attempt to destroy evidence.
Usually, when you destroy documents, it’s because you don’t want anyone to see them. Have you ever sent bank or tax records through a shredder? Why did you do that? Because you didn’t want anyone else to see them. Donald Trump destroyed documents because he was hiding shady shifty shit. There are probably thousands of documents and evidence of Trump’s crimes we’ll never know about. I still want to know what was on those translator’s notes.
I really hope a tally of all of Trump’s crimes is being kept somewhere by very important law enforcement people. It’s been over a year since Trump left the White House. It’s past time for prosecutions to begin on the Trump crime syndicate.
Music Note: The music I listened to while drawing today’s cartoon was by the Cranberries.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
You can be forgiven if your first response to hearing Donald Trump is meeting with his cabinet at one of his golf clubs is, “What fucking cabinet? Is he insane?”
Yes. Donald Trump is insane. What’s worse is that people we suspect may not be totally bonkers are enabling his insanity.
If you know someone who thinks he’s Napoleon, you should probably call specialists who send trucks to pick up people like that instead of enabling him with something like, “Pardon, me sir…but will Lady Josephine be joining us at Waterloo today?”
Mark Meadows, Trump’s chief-of-staff from when he actually was president (sic), told Newsmax he visited Trump at Bedminster in New Jersey and, “We met with several of our cabinet members tonight.”
Uh, what cabinet? Let’s make something clear. Donald Trump does NOT have a cabinet because Donald Trump is NOT president. Maggie Haberman of The New York Times said, “I can’t stop thinking about this interview. The former chief of staff is talking as if there’s a shadow presidency going on (there isn’t) at a time when there’s a conspiracy theory that Trump will be reinstated (he won’t).”
Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics, a non-partisan watchdog group, said, “We can’t believe we have to say this, but no, Donald Trump is not secretly running the country from a golf course in New Jersey.”
I can’t believe I have to say this but Donald Trump is NOT the president.
There are people who still believe Donald Trump is the president. There are others who believe he was robbed and will return to the presidency on August 13. There are people who believe both, that he’s still the president and he’ll be reinstated as president…don’t ask me how that works. Donald Trump is selling all of this.
Lin Wood, a pro-Trump attorney, recently told a crowd of MAGAts, that Trump “is still the guy the military will call” in the event of a crisis. He added that President Joe Biden only APPEARS to be president. Yeah, winning an election, living in the White House, and signing bills into laws will give off that appearance.
Here’s a free legal tip: When hiring a lawyer, ask him or her if they support Donald Trump and if they think he’s still president. If the answer is yes to either, find another lawyer.
Mark Meadows will not identify the members of this cabinet. Here’s a fun fact, presidents don’t have secret cabinets. Cabinet members have to be confirmed by the United States Senate. It’s really hard to keep their identities concealed during confirmation hearings in the Senate. You don’t just pluck fuckers off a golf course and install them into a presidential cabinet. No. You do that with ambassadorships.
But Donald Trump is nuts. He probably believes he has a cabinet because he thinks he’s still president and will be reinstated on August 13. What I need to know now is, what date are they going to claim after August 13 passes and Trump is still just a whiny wedding crashing conspiracy-spreading lunatic on a golf course?
Mike Lindell, the MyPillow lunatic, believes Trump will be reinstated on August 13. There are members of Qanon who believe Trump is secretly controlling the military and they’ll overthrow the Biden presidency for him on August 13. These people don’t seem to understand they are opposing democracy. Donald Trump, in direct opposition to democracy, is trying to become a fascist dictator. We don’t install or reinstate presidents. Presidents in this country are elected.
Is Donald Trump forcing is secret golf club cabinet to sign documents stating the election was corrupt? That’s what he attempted to do with the Justice Department before the insurrection at the Capitol by his white nationalist terrorists.
On December 28, Jeffrey Clark, a Trump goon in the Justice Department and acting head of the Civil Division, addressed a letter to the governor of Georgia and state legislative leaders stating the department was “investigating various irregularities” in the presidential contest and that it had “identified significant concerns that may have impacted the outcome of the election.” It proposed that the Republican-controlled Georgia legislature call a special session, ignore the will of the voters, and send alternate electors to Congress on January 6 giving the state’s electoral college votes to Donald Trump. The Georgia state legislature didn’t do that but now they are changing the laws giving them the power to basically do just that.
The acting attorney general, Jeffrey Rosen, and acting deputy attorney general, Richard Donoghue, rejected the letter. Donoghue wrote, “It is not the Justice Department’s place to tell states how to overturn election results.” I don’t know if Georgia ever got the Trump goon’s letter, but they did get a phone call from Trump telling them to overturn the election.
Donald Trump called election officials in Georgia and told them to “find me the votes.” He was demanding they create votes out of thin air and overturn the election in his favor. He even threatened them with criminal charges if they didn’t comply. He told them, “All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have because we won the state.”
On December 15, Trump called Rosen into the Oval Office to insist he file legal arguments claiming the election was stolen. Rosen refused.
This is where it gets good.
On December 27, Trump called Rosen at the Justice Department and told them they “may not be following the internet the way I do,” because they weren’t aware of all the conspiracy theories he had read and believed about the election being stolen. I mean, why couldn’t the Justice Department just take Sidney Powell’s word for it? Why couldn’t the Justice Department just release that invisible “kraken?” At the very least, can’t the acting attorney general spend a few hours every day scrolling through 4chan?
According to notes taken by Donoghue, Rosen told Trump he needed to “understand that the DOJ can’t + won’t snap its fingers + change the outcome of the election, doesn’t work that way.”
The notes record Trumps response as, “I don’t expect you to do that. just say that the election was corrupt + leave the rest to me and the R. Congressmen.”
Two days later, Trump sent Rosen and Donoghue a draft lawsuit he hoped would be filed with the Supreme Court. It was a duplicate of a lawsuit filed by the state of Texas the court had already declined to hear. That was the lawsuit where Republican Trump goons in Texas filed a lawsuit against another state’s election. Maybe that Texas attorney general is on Trump’s secret golf club cabinet.
Trump’s goon in the Justice Department, who had written the conspiracy letter encouraging Georgia to overthrow its election, continued to spread conspiracy theories in the department. Trump was loudly speculating about firing Rosen, who had just replaced William Barr as AG, and replacing him with Clark. On December 31, Rosen and Donoghue called Clark in and told him to cut the shit with the “stolen election” conspiracy theories. Keep in mind that in less than a month, none of these guys would still be in the Justice Department.
Donald Trump tired to steal the election. He tried to overturn it. He had enablers and goons in Congress, states, and the Justice Department helping him try to overturn the election. He initially refused to comply with the transition. He still has not conceded defeat. He tweeted for his supporters to gather in the capital on January 6 to stop the certification of the election saying it was “going to be wild.” On January 6, he held a rally in the capital telling his supporters to “march to the Capitol.” The intention was to stop the certification with a terrorist attack. After the attack, Republicans in Congress still voted to overturn the election. That would have been like Republicans destroying the Pentagon after al Qaida flew a plane into it.
That terrorist attack, the Republicans who voted to overturn the election, Republicans who voted against investigating the attack, and Republicans in states who tried to overturn the election are the reasons why it’s dangerous for people like Mark Meadows to make claims about Trump having a cabinet. It’s dangerous to enable Donald Trump in his claims he’s running a secret government. It’s dangerous because there are MAGAts who want August 13 to be just like January 6, except actually overturning the government this time. While they can’t succeed in overthrowing an election ten months after it happened, they can succeed in creating violence, weakening our democracy, and hurting a lot of people in the process.
Donald Trump can put all the idiots he wants on his pretend cabinet and keep playing fake president, but come August 13 and after, Joe Biden will still be the president of the United States of America.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.
Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of New York City and former top prosecutor in Manhattan had his license to practice law revoked, at least temporarily. Does this mean he can’t charge the Trump Campaign (it still exists) $20,000 a day to spread their election lies?
A New York court ruled on Thursday that he made “demonstrably false and misleading statements” while fighting to overturn the 2020 presidential election on behalf of Donald Trump. He faces being disabarred.
Here’s something amusing: There’s a social media meme claiming Michelle Obama lost her law license. It’s not true, but you have to love that this shit always turns around on the right-wing liars. Don’t you love it?
Rudy didn’t just “mislead.” He lied. He lied to the press, the public, in courts, and in state legislatures. Rudy Giuliani is a liar. Rudy has a laptop in his possession he claims belongs to Hunter Biden. That’s probably a lie too.
Rudy conducted false-flag operations to get Ukraine to investigate Joe Biden’s son in order to smear Trump’s most dangerous rival. Being afraid of Joe Biden was the only thing Rudy was right about. Rudy spread lies all the way from Ukraine to state legislatures to parking lots outside dildo stores. His running hair dye couldn’t keep up with the running lies. He also loudly farted during hearings before state legislatures. That doesn’t really have anything to do with this but I just like mentioning it again.
Rudy claimed there was widespread voter fraud (there wasn’t) and that voting machines were rigged (they were not). The court said Rudy’s actions represented an “immediate threat” to the public and he had “directly inflamed” the tensions that led to the white nationalist terrorist attack on the Capitol on behalf of Donald Trump. Rudy screamed that day at the hate rally, “Let’s have trial by combat.”
The decision also said, “The seriousness of respondent’s uncontroverted misconduct cannot be overstated. This country is being torn apart by continued attacks on the legitimacy of the 2020 election and of our current president, Joseph R. Biden.”
Fortunately for Rudy, he doesn’t need a law license to continue being a national security risk or to go on Hannity and lie his saggy old balls off. There’s also no license requirement for public farting.
What’s going to be amusing is that in order to get his license back, he’ll probably have to admit Joe Biden is the duly-elected and legitimate president of the United States of America. That’s gonna leave a mark.
Rudy is also licensed to practice law in Washington, D.C, but that one may fall too. He’s also under criminal investigations by the office he once led in Manhattan. It may be a hard sell that you should have your law license back while you’re in prison. Maybe in prison he’ll be able to reminisce and catch up with people he sent there. Won’t that be nice?
Laura, one of my proofreaders told me after seeing this, Rudy gives bats a bad name. That is true. Bats put out way less guano.
A fun zoological tidbit: Another animal that produces guano is the Peruvian Booby. Also, Rudy farts.
Creative note: This cartoon actually makes me a little dizzy…or maybe it’s the Rudy farts.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.
claytoonz 