Total Authority


In an episode of the South Park cartoon, Eric Cartman says, “Respect my athoritah!” Of course, nobody does because he’s a fat racist child on a big wheel whose mother did a lot of porn. In Donald Trump’s case, ditto.

Donald Trump is a fat racist man-child and his big wheel is the White House. His mom didn’t do porn but he does have mommy issues and married a porn star who refuses to sleep with him. No one respects him. Even then, the only people who respect him are people who don’t respect themselves and believe we should all be subjugated to a reality TV host who tapes his hair to his head. In the real world, world leaders laugh at him.

And just like Donald Trump crashes his talking points into each other, his cult is constantly getting their chocolate in their peanut butter. The only way that metaphor doesn’t work is that chocolate and peanut butter together is delicious. What Trump’s supporters are eating is Trump’s bullshit (in case you’re a Republican: Not delicious).

Let’s take one of Trump’s most recent stupid comments. He claimed “total authority” and can order states to reopen and end their stay-at-home orders. Nope. He can’t. We have a Constitution that doesn’t allow that which of course, Donald Trump has not read. We had this little thing called the “American Revolution.” It was over a king telling us what to do. We didn’t like that.

Here’s where Donald Trump’s shit runs into his shit: He refused to tell states they should issue stay-at-home orders because he can’t do that. He was afraid of doing that. Then, he says he can order them to reopen. He says states are responsible for their own ventilators and tests, he takes no responsibility, yet he is responsible for their reopening. He’s instead thrown more responsibility at China, the World Health Organization, governors, President Obama, Democrats, and the media.

His supporters consist of gun nuts. Part of their argument for guns is that they’re needed for that day when the big government comes for their guns. So you need your guns to keep the government from getting your guns. Right? You need your guns to protect you from a president who acts like a king. I mean, they all swore President Obama was coming for them and they’d be damned if they were going to let that happen. Now, their Dear Leader says he has “total authority.” I hope they’re locked and loaded.

When you talk to a supporter of the Confederacy, they argue the Civil War wasn’t about slavery but over states’ rights. Of course, the only right at issue during the Civil War was the right to own human beings. I’ve seen one Trump-supporting cartoonist draw a cartoon that governors can’t tell you what to do…then turn around and say that Donald Trump can tell you what to do. What happened to all that states’ rights shit?

They also argue the federal government shouldn’t be able to push abortion in their states and that their state has the right to ban them and shut down clinics. But, the president can order businesses to open and close? Again, what happened to states’ rights?

There are federal laws that govern all the states. They’re passed by Congress. If they’re challenged, it goes to the Supreme Court. The president doesn’t pick and choose. He has a lot of power in emergencies, but not the power to order governors around. Someone needs to sit Donald Trump down and force him to watch all the Schoolhouse Rocks.

Can you imagine the outrage if Obama gave the governor of Texas an order…or better yet, tell the governor of Indiana, Mike Pence during his term, to enact gay-friendly laws? Republicans got upset over Obama invading Texas and that never actually happened. Red states sued so they wouldn’t have to enact Obamacare.

It’s funny that Trump’s supporters want liberty while giving all of theirs to a king. They want a king. They want a very racist stupid king. They’re not getting a king, no matter how much they’re trying to ram it down our throats. But they do have a very racist stupid president but hopefully, not for much longer.

But let me warn you now, there will be statues of Donald Trump in fucknut areas of the country. If your town is one of them, move…unless you’re a bird. You’ll have something new to shit on.

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  1. No, you God forsakened nincompoop, it’s not tyrannical to want society to return. It’s tyrannical to force people to stay in confined spaces all the while forbidding people to grow plants and hope for freedom.

    You’re instincts are all backwards, you’d happily state “ “War is peace / freedom is slavery [and] ignorance is strength” like a good little servant.

    What the fuck is wrong with you?


    1. You’re bothered more by people not being able to purchase mulch than you are about children being forced to school where they’ll catch the virus. What the fuck is wrong with you, other than being a partisan dildo of course?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Who is forcing children back to school? Again, you seem unable to understand what tyranny is.

        You think the liberators are the governors that force the people to stay in doors and decide what is essential for their lives and you the tyrants are the people that offer choice, freedom and society.

        How can your thinking process be so corrupted? You besmirch mulch because you don’t know it’s value. You get to eat what others farm due to mulch, have some respect!


      2. Dear Mr. Hermes (I presume)
        It’s true, mulch has value. But your verbal mulch is nothing but undignified ranting. You appear to know nothing about how the world works, or how viruses work. You probably beat your wife too, if you have one. Your temper is off the charts. If you ever took the time to think with your mind instead of your dick, you might realize the world has no use for people who react instead of act. People who act change the world; those who react destroy it.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. How does barring people from buying vegetables seeds while they’re in lockdown help the situation any Raw?


      4. The vegetable seed thing is just one state I think. I live in that liberal bastion California and work at a big box store. We are considered essential and have seeds, starts and mulch for sale. Happy gardening.

        Liked by 2 people

      5. “ What the fuck is wrong with you, other than being a partisan dildo of course?”

        Wrong orifice, Clay, Herpes FootDisease is a partisan enema.

        Actually, I am now convinced that IT is a Russian Troll Bot.


  2. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Drumpf’s real ‘reality’ … ‘No one respects him. Even then, the only people who respect him are people who don’t respect themselves and believe we should all be subjugated to a reality TV host who tapes his hair to his head. In the real world, world leaders laugh at him.’ … and this gives me joy!!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Trump flip-flops so much on his words it hurts. The media should just stop attending his useless briefings. I’ve taken to listen to Andrew Cuomo’s updates. He’s consistent and more interested in the facts rather than stroking his own ego.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your commentary is priceless – as usual from you, Clay! Thank you. BUT, I have a question: I know the urban legend of equestrian statues and riders where one hoof in the air means the rider was wounded in battle; two legs in the air, as in rearing up, means the rider was killed in battle, but what does three legs in the air mean? Never in battle or uniform or in service to his/her country? Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I totally forgot about those “rules” but now I totally recall that there were/are to statues. I don’t know if they’re true. I don’t know what three would mean. I just wanted to make it look busy.

      Liked by 2 people

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