Governors

The Whopper Becomes Hamberder King


CNN04192020

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Donald Trump claimed he had “total authority” and could order the states when to reopen. He backtracked and said he’s going to let the governors work it out. Why’d he backtrack? To avoid the embarrassment of issuing an order and having it ignored. That’s like saying I can kick your ass, but I don’t want to exert myself right now.

Then he says he can adjourn Congress. That’s another move he won’t do. Trump is upset that Congress hasn’t confirmed all his nominations. He would like for them to adjourn so he can do emergency installments. The Constitution does grant the president the power to adjourn Congress WHEN Congress can’t agree when to adjourn. No president has ever used the power before. Donald Trump can’t adjourn Congress just because they haven’t confirmed his nominee to Voice of America. Basically, Donald Trump wants to adjourn Congress because Voice of America hurt his feelings.  This is another move he won’t make because he will be embarrassed.

He screams against mail-in voting and claims it leads to fraud. Except, there’s no evidence it has ever lead to fraud and…wait for it…Donald Trump has used mail-in voting. His reasoning for why it’s OK for him? Because he can. Perhaps, this is why he’s not a fan of the Post Office.

And then we come to the relief checks. Checks from the IRS are always signed by a government official, not an elected or appointed politician. But, Trump and Treasury Secretary Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin conspired to put Trump’s name in the memo line. Trump wants to use the coronavirus to give you the impression he’s giving you money. Trump is using government resources to campaign.

The outrage here, among many, is that no one will hold him accountable. It’s like his impeachment. The Republican Senate, who previously used the talking point “no collusion” to state Trump didn’t have anything to do with Russia’s meddling in the 2016 election, decided that colluding with a foreign government is allowable. The Republican Senate, the Supreme Court, and the Justice Department have allowed Donald Trump to break the law.

In regards to the president being able to adjourn Congress, Republicans and Trump supporters keep citing Article 2, Section 3 (without comprehending it). Since they like to cite the Constitution, they need to read Article 1, Section 10.

Donald Trump called the Treasury Department and told them he’d like for them to do him a favor.

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Total Authority


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In an episode of the South Park cartoon, Eric Cartman says, “Respect my athoritah!” Of course, nobody does because he’s a fat racist child on a big wheel whose mother did a lot of porn. In Donald Trump’s case, ditto.

Donald Trump is a fat racist man-child and his big wheel is the White House. His mom didn’t do porn but he does have mommy issues and married a porn star who refuses to sleep with him. No one respects him. Even then, the only people who respect him are people who don’t respect themselves and believe we should all be subjugated to a reality TV host who tapes his hair to his head. In the real world, world leaders laugh at him.

And just like Donald Trump crashes his talking points into each other, his cult is constantly getting their chocolate in their peanut butter. The only way that metaphor doesn’t work is that chocolate and peanut butter together is delicious. What Trump’s supporters are eating is Trump’s bullshit (in case you’re a Republican: Not delicious).

Let’s take one of Trump’s most recent stupid comments. He claimed “total authority” and can order states to reopen and end their stay-at-home orders. Nope. He can’t. We have a Constitution that doesn’t allow that which of course, Donald Trump has not read. We had this little thing called the “American Revolution.” It was over a king telling us what to do. We didn’t like that.

Here’s where Donald Trump’s shit runs into his shit: He refused to tell states they should issue stay-at-home orders because he can’t do that. He was afraid of doing that. Then, he says he can order them to reopen. He says states are responsible for their own ventilators and tests, he takes no responsibility, yet he is responsible for their reopening. He’s instead thrown more responsibility at China, the World Health Organization, governors, President Obama, Democrats, and the media.

His supporters consist of gun nuts. Part of their argument for guns is that they’re needed for that day when the big government comes for their guns. So you need your guns to keep the government from getting your guns. Right? You need your guns to protect you from a president who acts like a king. I mean, they all swore President Obama was coming for them and they’d be damned if they were going to let that happen. Now, their Dear Leader says he has “total authority.” I hope they’re locked and loaded.

When you talk to a supporter of the Confederacy, they argue the Civil War wasn’t about slavery but over states’ rights. Of course, the only right at issue during the Civil War was the right to own human beings. I’ve seen one Trump-supporting cartoonist draw a cartoon that governors can’t tell you what to do…then turn around and say that Donald Trump can tell you what to do. What happened to all that states’ rights shit?

They also argue the federal government shouldn’t be able to push abortion in their states and that their state has the right to ban them and shut down clinics. But, the president can order businesses to open and close? Again, what happened to states’ rights?

There are federal laws that govern all the states. They’re passed by Congress. If they’re challenged, it goes to the Supreme Court. The president doesn’t pick and choose. He has a lot of power in emergencies, but not the power to order governors around. Someone needs to sit Donald Trump down and force him to watch all the Schoolhouse Rocks.

Can you imagine the outrage if Obama gave the governor of Texas an order…or better yet, tell the governor of Indiana, Mike Pence during his term, to enact gay-friendly laws? Republicans got upset over Obama invading Texas and that never actually happened. Red states sued so they wouldn’t have to enact Obamacare.

It’s funny that Trump’s supporters want liberty while giving all of theirs to a king. They want a king. They want a very racist stupid king. They’re not getting a king, no matter how much they’re trying to ram it down our throats. But they do have a very racist stupid president but hopefully, not for much longer.

But let me warn you now, there will be statues of Donald Trump in fucknut areas of the country. If your town is one of them, move…unless you’re a bird. You’ll have something new to shit on.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.