A Real Tacky Cartoon


Right-wing gun toters who love to call liberals “snowflakes” have a new issue to cry about. Walmart has kinda-sorta banned people from openly carrying guns in their stores. If you’re not a Walmart shopper, first off, good for you. But you may be asking right now, “Walmart allowed gun fetish whackos to skulk around their stores carrying guns?” Apparently, yes.

When you see someone who’s not a cop, walking around with a gun on their hip, they’re not telling you they’re about self-protection. They’re trying to convince the world around them, and themselves, they’re a badass and they’re not taking shit from anybody. If you see someone with an AK-47 strapped to their body, they’re telling you they have a very small penis. No matter the size of the gun, they’re all paranoid and delusional.

Talk to one of these gun worshippers on the internet and you’ll discover they’re convinced they’ll not only survive an active-shooter situation, but they’ll save the day, be the hero, and Hollywood will make a new series of Rambo movies about them. What they fail to understand is that these situations happen fast, they’ve never been in one before, and there’s no way for the police to tell them apart from the active shooter. And why should the cops be able to tell the difference? These people walking around with guns to “protect” themselves are probably hanging out on the same hate forums as the guys writing these pro-Trump, anti-immigration manifestos. You know they’re all voting for the same candidates and watching the same networks.

Now they get to be angry and butthurt with Walmart, which puts them in awkward situations. It’s not like they’re going to start shopping at Target (no pun intended) and ordering spiced lattes at Starbucks.

It goes further than just “asking” their customers not to creep around their stores with Uzis. Walmart will no longer sell handgun ammunition for the short-barrel rifle ammunition used for hunting rifles as well as military-style weapons (assault weapons). They will also stop selling handguns in Alaska, the last state where their stores sold them. If you carry a concealed weapon, Walmart will not ask you to refrain from doing so. And, how could they tell anyway? For all they know, you’re happy to see them.

On top of all that, Walmart is asking Congress to enact gun safety measures. Kroger (in case you don’t know, it is a grocery chain) has followed Walmart’s lead and are also “asking” customers not to open carry in their stores.

Fox News fucknut and blonde #37 Tomi Lahren was outraged. She said Walmart “just shot itself in the foot.” She’s probably mostly upset because she just released a brand new made-in-China “athleisure” line designed to be worn with firearms. Other conservatives were also howling.

It’s funny these conservatives are all about freedom and against government meddling in businesses but are outraged when one decides for itself what’s best for its employees and customers. They cheer when Hobby Lobby uses its owner’s religion to deny health insurance, but get upset at another business for restricting guns.

The thing is, Walmart has more recent experience with guns in their stores than Tomi Lahren could even imagine she has (which is not a fair example because just what the holy hell is she experienced in?). Last July, a former employee shot and killed two workers in one of their stores. Last month, a white nationalist Trump supporter killed 22 people in one of their El Paso stores.

There are a lot of legitimate reasons not to shop at Walmart (like political donations, low salaries, unfair hiring practices, cheap and crappy imported goods, killing small towns and businesses, only three open checkout lanes, creepy people, etc), but I support them on this decision. I also support their right to continue to sell guns for hunting. Most gun-control proponents aren’t against hunting rifles and shotguns. So if that’s the case, then why give Walmart a hassle over selling them? They stopped selling pistols (except in Alaska until yesterday) and assault weapons years ago.

I don’t expect this to hurt Walmart in the slightest with their customers. Walmart is like crack to people who shop there. They can’t quit it. Walmart’s greatest concern is Amazon.

Yesterday, Walmart’s owners showed they’re willing to confront their base. They showed they have bigger balls than Mitch McConnell, Donald Trump, and the entire Republican Party. Perhaps they should all walk around with enormous assault rifles to overcompensate.

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  1. Full disclosure, I generally consider myself a proponent of the constitution, 2nd amendment included. But why anyone would want to open carry (unless you are actually engaged in hunting at the moment) is beyond me. I’ve carried concealed a lot, and you will never know if I have a weapon on me or not. It’s just dumb. As you pointed out, the actual intent is no longer the stated intent, it’s just a way to show everyone how small your dick is.

    Liked by 3 people

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