Gun Sense

Boebert To Boulder


Cjones03252021

We’ve had two mass shootings in the span of a week. Last week, a shooter killed eight in Asian massage parlors in the Atlanta, Georgia area. Yesterday, another shooter killed ten in in a large supermarket in Boulder, Colorado. One of those killed was a cop.

Boulder enacted an assault weapon ban in 2018. What’s an assault weapon? It’s the type of gun someone would use to kill ten people in a supermarket. Ten days ago, a court blocked the ban.

The Colorado State Shooting Association, one of the plaintiffs that sued Boulder over the assault weapons ban, issued a statement saying, “There will be a time for the debate on gun laws. There will be a time for the discussion on motives. There will be a time for a conversation on how this could have been prevented. But today is not the time.”

To the Colorado State Shooting Association, and to everyone else who’s ever said, “Now is not the time,” I have to give a big “fuck you.” Fuck you and fuck your “now is not the time.” If there’s a mass shooting every week, then there will never be a time to debate gun laws. Stop using this as an excuse to abdicate your responsibility. Today is the time. Tomorrow will be the time. Next week will be the time. And every day before this shooting was the time to discuss gun safety…yet, you didn’t want to do it.

Here’s a question for the Colorado State Shooting Association: Was the shooter a member of your shooting association? I mean, from your name alone, it sounds like he would have qualified because he was a shooter.

There is one way to stop these weekly mass shootings and that is to get rid of assault weapons. And before you cry, “That won’t work,” let me point out, it’s worked everywhere in the world that it’s been tried. But you may be right in that it won’t work here because we have a gun fetish. There is no other nation in this world where its citizens want to fuck their guns as much as we do. We are a nation that is more comfortable with having children shot in schools than the idea of registering a gun.

For an example of American gun fetish, look at Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert. She’s just two cracked egg shells shy from being Marjorie Taylor Green in the Qanon fucknut division. While she doesn’t represent Boulder, geographically, her district covers half the state.

Boebert, like a lot of Republicans, is a deranged lunatic. She has close ties to the extremist militia group the Three Percenters, a group that’s 100 percent Nazi. They were involved in the terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol.

She did an interview on a Qanon radio show (that’s a thing?) and said she was “very familiar” with the group and, “Everything I’ve heard of Q, I hope that this is real because it only means America is getting stronger and better.” She hopes that Democrats are eating babies with their pizza? Still, probably better than pineapple.

She repeated a conspiracy theory pushed by the conspiracy fucknut newspaper, The Epoch Times, that there were documents declassified by Trump that would soon spark massive resignations in the House and Senate, and Republicans would retake both chambers (this is the good part) BEFORE 2022. Also, Hillary Clinton will soon be arrested for something or other. Maybe that baby pizza thing.

During the white nationalist attack on the Capitol, Boebert tweeted details about the police response and attempted to help terrorists find the location of Speaker Nancy Pelosi. This would be like your guard dog showing burglars where you keep your safe and giving them the combination. She voted against certifying the election based on the lie it was stolen from Trump and has been accused of helping instigate the attack…probably because she helped instigate the attack.

During the Conservative Political Action Conference a few weeks ago, she enlisted other members of the House to vote for her due to the coronavirus…but she was actually at CPAC helping to spread Qanon and Trump conspiracy bullshit.

When she’s not aiding racist anti-government terrorists to attack our nation, she enjoys zooming with her guns.

Boebert is a gun nut. She claims she has to carry a gun at all times, even when speaking on the House floor, because someone was beaten to death outside the restaurant she owns in Colorado (where every customer gets to shoot their entrée before consuming it). The fact is, someone was in an altercation several blocks from her restaurant, and after running away, collapsed in front of her place from what an autopsy determined was methamphetamine intoxication.

By the way, her restaurant is Shooters Grill in the town of Rifle. I swear to God and on all my guitars, I did not make that up. One of the Yelp reviews says, “Hey y’all, if diarrhea is your favorite way to expel calories, you’ve found your shortcut to weight loss right here!” Do they have country fried steak? I was going to post the link to the restaurant but Google says it’s not safe….just like the restaurant.

Boebert is a big fan of not just carrying a gun, but posing with it. She made a video of herself (since Republicans like using this word, we’ll use it for them) PARADING while smirking with a gun strapped to her hip. She has made a huge issue of averting metal detectors in the Capitol and has become a right-wing fucknut hero over her gun brandishing.

Boebert claims if she’s prohibited from carrying a gun into a House Natural Resources Committee hearing (which I’m assuming she’s on), then the chairman of the committee, Raul Grijalva, must pay for her personal protection, as in hiring security guards to follow her around. These people who are afraid to even do a Zoom call without a gun accuse others of being cowards for wearing face masks. “Afraid to leave the house are ya’?” while they have Glocks hidden in their ass cracks.

She said, “The chairman is trying to take responsibility for my personal safety while stripping away my Second Amendment rights.” I have read the Second Amendment multiple times and I haven’t found the part where it states you can carry a gun into any room or building you want to. The greatest danger you’re going to face in the United States Capitol is if a far-right racist terrorist group attacks it. Maybe she’s afraid that if that happens, someone will tweet out her location. Quick! Grab the ass Glock!

There is a regulation that exempts members from a federal law banning firearms on the Capitol grounds. But, weapons are still prohibited on the House floor. This has not stopped a gun fucker like Boebert from being a pistol-packing mama on the House floor.

During a Zoom meeting of the committee she’s on, Boebert made sure to use her gun fetish as her background (while I struggle for my apartment not to look like a warehouse during my Zoom meetings or keep my bed from appearing). Boebert had several guns right behind her head. When the committee resumes meeting in person again, she intends to bring her guns with her unless a Democrat pays for her security detail.

Representative Jared Huffman said, “Here’s the reality — if somebody wants to have a shrine to their gun fetish as a Zoom backdrop in their private life, they can do that, but this is our hearing room. At some point we will get past the COVID epidemic and we’ll all start showing up in person and our safety and our ability to conduct business civilly without feeling threatened is a relevant consideration, unfortunately.”

And her fellow House members should feel threatened by her. Why? Because she is a security threat. She’s packing a gun, supporters terrorist groups, and let me remind you…helped terrorists attack Congress. So yeah….members of Congress should be very aware of how dangerous she is.

Members of Congress deserve to feel safe and not live in fear of being shot by a raving lunatic while on the House floor or in committee meetings. Also, you should feel safe not to get blasted by an automatic weapon by a maniac while you’re going to school, the movies, or shopping. All three of those have been the scene of a mass shooting in Colorado.

I have three newspapers in Colorado who subscribe to my cartoon service. They are The Colorado Reporter in Denver, the Colorado Springs Independent, and Boulder Weekly. I hope all my friends in Boulder are safe and my thoughts are with them.

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Neo-Nazi Gun Rally


cjones01202020

Yesterday, I wrote on Twitter: Dear gun fetishists. Please keep your and your racist and Nazi friends’ asses out of my state next week. Thanks.

I got replies to that. I was surprised at how many and the type of replies I got. And no, I didn’t respond to any of them.

Thousands of protesters are expected to the state capitol grounds in Richmond on Monday to protest proposed restrictions on gun purchases by the Virginia Legislature. The governor, Ralph Northam, has declared a state of emergency and announced a temporary ban on weapons on the grounds of the State Capitol ahead of the rally.

Yes, these people are upset at gun restrictions in Virginia, yet a ban on guns on the grounds of the State Capitol is only temporary. In case you’re a Republican, “temporary” means not forever. Also, why are you upset about this when you’re never angry about there being a ban on guns at NRA conventions? Think about it.

The reason for the state of emergency is that authorities have identified credible “threats of violence,” including from out-of-state militia groups and hate groups that are planning to start shit. The governor said the authorities had also found extremist rhetoric online similar to what had been seen in 2017 before the Charlottesville tiki-torch march conducted by hate groups in 2017 over removing Confederate statues, that left one girl dead.

Also, Monday is Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday, which is a federal holiday, so don’t tell me there’s not a racist aspect to this. It’s like trying to tell me you’re not a racist while you’re wearing a sheet.

I think there’s something to these threats online because even I, little ole me, pipsqueak cartoonist who’s not major on the national scene, got some very cryptic replies to my tweet last night and this morning. And I’m not just talking about all the F-You comments.

I got the black-friend defense. I got the Hitler-banned-guns defense (I love that they fail to capture the irony in lying about the Holocaust to support their gun fetish while saying they’re not bigots). I got the I’m-Rubber-You’re-Glue defense, as in, “I’m not the Nazi. You’re the Nazi,” which is heavily used among the MAGAt crowd (I’m not the puppet. You’re the puppet).

And finally, I got the We’re-Going-To-Find-Where-You-Live reply. Yes, because somebody did not like my tweet. Earlier today, I even saw comments on a right-wing friend’s page that the governor has a “surprise” coming to him.

While these people are screaming at me for lumping gun fucknuts in with racists, white nationalists, and Nazis converging on my state’s capital on Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday, the FBI…wait for it…just arrested three neo-Nazis, who’ve been planning for a race war, who had just obtained a bunch of guns and were planning…try not to be shocked…on traveling to Virginia for Monday’s gun rally.

So, to all the gun nuts who yelled at me yesterday, “We’re not the racists,” let me steal from Andrew Gillum in that it’s not me who thinks you’re racist. The racists think you’re racist. Do you know why they think you’re racist? Because you’re racist.

Here’s the thing, when you’re marching with Nazis, you’re marching with Nazis. And, when Nazis get together, nothing good can come from it. So no, we don’t want you here in Virginia. We’re good. Thanks.

See, here in Virginia, we’re turning blue and we don’t want any more mass shootings in our state. I understand dead school children is a price you’re willing to pay for the right to dry hump an Uzi, but don’t use our children.

Governor Ralph Northam is right to declare a state of emergency over gun nuts descending down upon our state. Our nation’s gun nuts are a state of emergency, just like our president (sic) is a national emergency.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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What Kind Of Flood?


cjones09272019

Honestly, when “breaking news” about Texas was announced on my TV Thursday, I half expected it to be another mass shooting.

While flooding is terrible, especially for Houston which is still recovering from a flood two years ago, it was kinda refreshing that breaking news out of Texas wasn’t about a mass shooting. This is where we are, folks.

If there’s one place in this nation where a large percentage of the population treats their guns like their babies, and even values them over the lives of children, it’s Texas.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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A Real Tacky Cartoon


cjones09112019

Right-wing gun toters who love to call liberals “snowflakes” have a new issue to cry about. Walmart has kinda-sorta banned people from openly carrying guns in their stores. If you’re not a Walmart shopper, first off, good for you. But you may be asking right now, “Walmart allowed gun fetish whackos to skulk around their stores carrying guns?” Apparently, yes.

When you see someone who’s not a cop, walking around with a gun on their hip, they’re not telling you they’re about self-protection. They’re trying to convince the world around them, and themselves, they’re a badass and they’re not taking shit from anybody. If you see someone with an AK-47 strapped to their body, they’re telling you they have a very small penis. No matter the size of the gun, they’re all paranoid and delusional.

Talk to one of these gun worshippers on the internet and you’ll discover they’re convinced they’ll not only survive an active-shooter situation, but they’ll save the day, be the hero, and Hollywood will make a new series of Rambo movies about them. What they fail to understand is that these situations happen fast, they’ve never been in one before, and there’s no way for the police to tell them apart from the active shooter. And why should the cops be able to tell the difference? These people walking around with guns to “protect” themselves are probably hanging out on the same hate forums as the guys writing these pro-Trump, anti-immigration manifestos. You know they’re all voting for the same candidates and watching the same networks.

Now they get to be angry and butthurt with Walmart, which puts them in awkward situations. It’s not like they’re going to start shopping at Target (no pun intended) and ordering spiced lattes at Starbucks.

It goes further than just “asking” their customers not to creep around their stores with Uzis. Walmart will no longer sell handgun ammunition for the short-barrel rifle ammunition used for hunting rifles as well as military-style weapons (assault weapons). They will also stop selling handguns in Alaska, the last state where their stores sold them. If you carry a concealed weapon, Walmart will not ask you to refrain from doing so. And, how could they tell anyway? For all they know, you’re happy to see them.

On top of all that, Walmart is asking Congress to enact gun safety measures. Kroger (in case you don’t know, it is a grocery chain) has followed Walmart’s lead and are also “asking” customers not to open carry in their stores.

Fox News fucknut and blonde #37 Tomi Lahren was outraged. She said Walmart “just shot itself in the foot.” She’s probably mostly upset because she just released a brand new made-in-China “athleisure” line designed to be worn with firearms. Other conservatives were also howling.

It’s funny these conservatives are all about freedom and against government meddling in businesses but are outraged when one decides for itself what’s best for its employees and customers. They cheer when Hobby Lobby uses its owner’s religion to deny health insurance, but get upset at another business for restricting guns.

The thing is, Walmart has more recent experience with guns in their stores than Tomi Lahren could even imagine she has (which is not a fair example because just what the holy hell is she experienced in?). Last July, a former employee shot and killed two workers in one of their stores. Last month, a white nationalist Trump supporter killed 22 people in one of their El Paso stores.

There are a lot of legitimate reasons not to shop at Walmart (like political donations, low salaries, unfair hiring practices, cheap and crappy imported goods, killing small towns and businesses, only three open checkout lanes, creepy people, etc), but I support them on this decision. I also support their right to continue to sell guns for hunting. Most gun-control proponents aren’t against hunting rifles and shotguns. So if that’s the case, then why give Walmart a hassle over selling them? They stopped selling pistols (except in Alaska until yesterday) and assault weapons years ago.

I don’t expect this to hurt Walmart in the slightest with their customers. Walmart is like crack to people who shop there. They can’t quit it. Walmart’s greatest concern is Amazon.

Yesterday, Walmart’s owners showed they’re willing to confront their base. They showed they have bigger balls than Mitch McConnell, Donald Trump, and the entire Republican Party. Perhaps they should all walk around with enormous assault rifles to overcompensate.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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F’ed Up


cjones09092019

America’s latest mass shooting killed 7 and injured 22.

A 36-year-old man, fired from his job hours earlier on Saturday, led police on a high-speed chase where he fired an AR-15 style assault rifle indiscriminately at motorists and officers. Police initially tried to pull the suspect over for failing to use a turn signal, which turned into a chase that created 15 crime scenes along the highway between Midland and Odessa which included car dealerships and shopping mall. The man hijacked a postal van before he was finally shot and killed in the parking lot of a movie theater.

Those killed raned in age from 15 to 57, including the driver of the postal van. One of the injured was a 17-month-old toddler who is recovering from shrapnel in her chest. This occurred one day before 10 new laws loosening gun restrictions took effect in Texas. Some of the new laws are that renters can’t prohibit guns from being stored or carried onto their properties and schools can’t enforce gun safety rules for staff and visitors.

The governor argued that the new laws were enacted “for the purpose of making the community safer.” The National Rifle Association praised the governor and state legislature for “protecting your Second Amendment rights.” There have been five mass shootings in Texas over the past three years. Apparently, the state with the most guns doesn’t have enough guns yet to make it safe (and the majority of gun owners are white men). Texas has the most lax gun laws in the nation and they haven’t made the connection yet as to why they also lead the country in mass shootings.

Donald Trump said Saturday’s shooting could have been worse and that background checks wouldn’t have stopped Saturday’s shooting spree. Texas Governor Greg Abbott said he was “heartbroken” and “tired of the dying of the people of the state of Texas,” and then he cried about the threat to gun rights.

And then, conservatives and gun owners finally found something about a mass shooting to get upset about. Beto O’Rourke dropped an F-bomb.

O’Rourke told CNN’s Dana Bash. “The rhetoric that we’ve used — the thoughts and prayers that you just referred to — it has done nothing to stop the epidemic of gun violence to protect our kids, our families, our fellow Americans in public places — at a Walmart in El Paso, Texas, where 22 were killed, in Sutherland Springs — in a church. One or two a day all over this country; 100 killed daily in the United States of America. We’re averaging about 300 mass shootings a year. No other country comes close.” And then he said, “So yes, this is fucked up.” He used the word again while campaigning in Virginia.

Immediately, Fox News ran a segment on CNN’s failure to bleep out the F-bomb. Conservatives took to social media, pausing from defending guns, to express outrage at Beto’s profanity.

Beto later tweeted, “Profanity is not the f-bomb. What is profane is a 17 month-old baby being shot in the face.”

Beto’s language isn’t the outrage.

If you’re still defending private ownership of assault weapons, that’s fucked up.

If you’re more upset over talk about gun control than deaths from mass shootings, that’s fucked up.

If you value guns over the lives of children, that’s fucked up.

If you’re a member of the National Rifle Association, that’s fucked up.

If you’re OK that we have to have metal detectors at school entrances and we have to send our children to class in bulletproof backpacks, that’s fucked up.

If you’re more upset over Beto saying “fuck” than you are about murder victims, that’s fucked up.

If you think it’s more upsetting for children to hear the F word on TV than to have to endure coverage of another mass shooting, that’s fucked up.

If you think a mass shooter being shot by a “good guy with a gun” after he kills 26 and injures 20 (Sutherland Springs, Texas, 2017) is proof the “good guy with a gun” argument works, that’s fucked up.

Quite frankly, you “Second Amendment” people’s priorities are fucked up.

The shooters neighbor said, “Although I feel bad about the situation, I feel at ease knowing that he was killed. That tells me the threat has been removed and my family is safe again.”

Here’s the thing. His family isn’t safe again (especially in Texas), and THAT’S FUCKED UP.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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How Did You Spend Your Summer?


CNN09012019

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

For this week’s newsletter, CNN Opinion turned it over to their readers to share how they spent their summer. My editors asked me to come up with something on the topic. This was my very first idea but we weren’t sure if we should go with it as the subject has some overlap with a cartoon I drew for them two weeks ago. Now, I think it’s more than appropriate because events are overlapping.

Yesterday, there was another mass shooting. Another mass shooting in Texas. A gunman killed seven and wounded 22.

A colleague of mine published a cartoon on gun violence a few hours before the El Paso shooting. A lot of readers praised him for his timing. The same thing is happening to me today. But, c’mon. This is America. If you draw a cartoon about gun violence, you have a pretty good (no pun intended) shot of that cartoon landing on the same day as a mass shooting. We’re not psychics. Gun violence is as common in this country as Donald Trump saying something idiotic or racist. There is too much gun violence in this country. Why?

Because it’s too easy to get a gun. Because there are too many guns. Because there are too many people valuing their “gun rights” over lives.

Beto O’Rourke said, “This is fucked up.” I don’t have anything to add to that.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

The Do-Nothings


cjones06082019

Former Broward County sheriff’s deputy Scot Peterson was arrested and charged yesterday with 11 charges of neglect of a child, culpable negligence and perjury. Why? Because he sat outside Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in relative safety while a 19-year-old gunman killed 17 and injured 17 others.

An investigation by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement said Peterson didn’t investigate the source of gunshots, retreated during the shooting while victims were still under attack, and directed other law enforcement officers to remain 500 feet away from the building. If he was a Republican, he would have cited bone spurs for his inaction.

While Peterson hung around outside busy not doing anything, over 70 shots were fired by the killer. How many of those shots found a human target? While the shooter is the murderer and responsible for the deaths and injuries, Peterson, who was hired to protect the school, could have probably saved a few lives.

The people who don’t do anything to protect children from mass shootings are culpable in their deaths. That includes Republicans in Congress. That includes the Republican president, who said in an interview with Piers Morgan that people need the AR-15 assault rifle for “entertainment.” As Morgan compared gun deaths in Britain, 35 a year, to the 150 mass shootings in the U.S. in 2019 (so far), Trump compared U.S. gun deaths to stabbings in England. Trump said, “In London, you have stabbings all over. I read an article where everyone is being stabbed.” I’m sure the headline read, “EVERYONE IS BEING STABBED.” The truth is, annual stabbing deaths in England are fewer than 300 a year, much less than gun deaths in the U.S. Trump argued guns in England could stop stabbings.

Trump has a point. We’re too busy in the U.S. shooting each other to bother with stabbings. Nobody goes to a school and stabs 17 people, or to a church or rock concert and stabs 50. In case you haven’t noticed yet, Donald Trump is an idiot.

The thing is, nobody “needs” an AR-15. You don’t need it for protection. You don’t need it to compensate for your small penis. You don’t even need it for entertainment. There’s a difference between “need” and “want.”

Fred Guttenberg lost his daughter Jaime in Parkland. He said Peterson deserves the misery coming his way and that he should “rot in Hell.”

Peterson didn’t do the job he swore to do, which was to protect and serve. Trump and Congress are also not doing their jobs. They’re not protecting the citizens of this nation from gun deaths. Their inaction makes them culpable for every single person killed by a gun.

For that, they should all rot in Hell. That would be very entertaining.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Crisis Actors


cjones02242018

Last week I talked about how one of the joys of being liberal is that you don’t have to make stuff up to justify your beliefs.

Your run-of-the-mill Republican will inflate or decrease numbers or leave out pertinent information when making their case. Your average troglodyte conservative will make up the most horrible stuff, like Alex Jones when he claimed the Newtown shooting was a hoax.

Students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, the scene of the latest school shooting, are organizing and taking on gun control and politicians who accept money from the NRA. Other students from around the nation are joining them. All these students are either victims, potential victims, or future victims. The reason they’re scaring the living hell out of Republicans is that they’re right.

They’re also future voters who aren’t going to forget Marco Rubio refusing to stop taking money from the NRA, or his refusal to acknowledge an AR-15 is an instrument of war. It’s like he can’t call an assault rifle by its name. They also won’t forget going to the White House where Donald Trump’s proposal to end more gun violence is to introduce more guns into schools, and the fact he needed crib notes to appear empathetic.

Some Republicans are starting to bash these students. The most harmless horrible comment I read was about the students not being old enough for their brains to be fully formed. That sort of crap makes me wonder about the conservative critic’s brains, and if he even has any. Just because you were inarticulate as a child doesn’t mean these kids are too.

Other conservatives are saying these kids can’t be this organized without any help. Crazy David Clarke, the sheriff from Milwaukee, has claimed George Soros is funding and organizing these movements. Clarke doesn’t have any proof, but these people don’t need proof to post a comment on Twitter. Look at Donald Trump.

Attacking one of the survivors of Parkland, conservative Dinesh D’Souza tweeted, “This woman seems coached and also a bit deranged. Trump’s should ignore these media-manufactured theatrics. Genuine grief I can empathize with. But grief organized for the cameras—politically orchestrated grief—strikes me as phony & inauthentic.” D’Souza later apologized for the tweets, but I wonder why he ever thought, even briefly, such comments were a good idea.

Alex Jones has posted several videos on his InfoWars YouTube channel accusing David Hogg, a senior from Stoneman Douglas, of forgetting his lines during a TV interview. According to an article by Brianna Sacks of Buzzfeed, Its had nearly 10,000 views and another calling the shooting a “giant false flag” has nearly 200,000 views (the article is one of the sources where I got the info for this column).

The biggest conspiracy theory floating around out there being shared by your crazy uncle is that the students speaking out are “crisis actors” taking advantage of the shooting to push a liberal gun control agenda. Right-wing sites, such as The Gateway Pundit, are eating this up. Russian trolls are also pushing the narrative. You’ve probably already seen some of their work on Facebook. Russian troll farms don’t sleep.

The irony here is that the conservatives arguing the kids are coached and manipulated are being manipulated by right-wing sites and Russians.

I gave a primer the other day for voting which was, Putin’s choice for president is the worst choice for us. I’m going to give you another primer about political opinions.

If you have to make shit up to advance your agenda, you’re wrong. If you can’t rely exclusively on facts, you’re wrong. If you have to slander victims of a mass shooting, you’re a deplorable human being who should just go ahead and defect to Russia now.

I won’t miss you.

Here’s the video. 

Update: Facebook removed the video for “bullying” and “harassing.” What the hell? I’m clay Jones, not Alex Jones. I have appealed.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Haters In Mourning


cjones12182016

A federal jury in South Carolina only needed two hours to convict Dylann Roof for murdering nine black parishioners at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston last year. Dylann pulled the trigger 77 times.

Roof, who is only 22-years-old, is a self-radicalized white supremacist. The same jury that found him guilty on 33 charges will also be the one that decides if he will be sentenced to death or face life in prison without parole.

Racists and anyone who patronizes and tolerates their hatred created the atmosphere for Dylann Roof to kill. You don’t hear conservative politicians campaign and scream for more laws to prevent terrorism by radicalized Christians, like Roof and Robert Lewis Dear.

Dear killed three people and injured nine more when he attacked a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado Springs last year. The abortion clinic attack was encouraged by fake videos accusing Planned Parenthood of selling body parts from aborted babies. Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina spurred on the accusations against PP before and after the attack, even after the videos were debunked. What’s a few deaths compared to what plays well politically in Peoria, or on Breitbart and Infowars?

South Carolina was so distraught over the murders in Charleston that they finally took down the Confederate flag from the grounds of their state capitol building. Why does it take spilled blood before you realize something is a bad idea? They acted swiftly on the flag issue (after decades of complaints) and ignored the one on guns.

The people who fly the flag and encourage the likes of Dylann Roof and Robert Dear are the types who voted for Donald Trump, our next president. They’re the same types who are spraying Swastikas on black churches and intimidating gays and minorities. They feel empowered. We need more people to speak out against them instead of a president and the controlling political party silence. They would rather scream about radicalized Muslims while ignoring the fact that more people in this country have been killed, and will be killed, by white Christians than brown Muslims.

Dylann Roof deserves to die. Someday he will but I hope it’s not by the hands of the government. Death is not a punishment for a crime like this. It does not discourage lunatics from committing terrible acts. I believe a government by the people should be better than those who murder. Dylann Roof deserves to rot in a tiny cell for the rest of his life and think about what he did. Maybe at some point in his remaining days he’ll understand what a horrible person he is and that he let hatred not just destroy his life, but also nine others who were innocent.

Maybe while we’re fighting the voices of hate we can do something about this gun problem and prevent someone in the future from entering a church and shooting parishioners 77 times.

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Is That An Alligator In Your Pocket?


cjones06172016

I know. Go ahead and give it to me. This is very insensitive and has poor timing. I’m not good with sensitive or sacred cows…or in this case, reptiles. At least I didn’t go with my first heartless idea which consisted of an alligator eating Mickey Mouse. Pissing off the NRA, Trump, and Republicans I’m good with. Disney on the other hand….ugh.

If there was a huge money-making alligator industry and rednecks used them to overcompensate for their tiny penises, there would be a trade organization buying off congressmen to make sure anyone could buy an alligator at any time.

Right now the Democrats in the U.S. Senate are conducting a filibuster to force the Republicans to schedule a vote on gun control. This has totally stopped all Senate business….which means it’s pretty much like any day in the Senate.

Republicans HATE to talk about gun control. The only issue they hate talking about more is Donald Trump. If you really wanna flummox a GOP office holder, ask him about Trump’s revolving position on guns.

Creative note: I’ve had a theme with alligators the past few days. Last week I drew Donald Trump with alligator arms (played that off a Geico commercial). Today I drew a commissioned cartoon with crocodiles for a brand new client that’s based outside the United States (Claytoonz is going international. You’ll see it Friday). Now today I drew this. I can’t help it. I like reptiles.

I really like reptiles. I once worked in the reptile house of a small zoo in northeast Louisiana in the late 1980’s. My favorite story from that brief adventure comes from the day we cleaned the alligator pool. I didn’t do any actual cleaning but it was my job to keep the gators and Alligator Snapping Turtles away from the cleaners. I was armed only with a stick. There were five gators in the tank. They were all under six feet long except for this one mother. Before we could drain the pool we had to get one gator out which we did with a lasso. That took several hours. Some genius designed the pool where the drain was in the deep end and had to be manually unplugged. Nobody likes diving with alligators.

The alligators cooperated for the most part. The turtles, not so much. In fact, the turtles concerned me a lot more than the gators.

A large chunk of my childhood was spent in Louisiana. When I was a kid my older sister and I swam in a bayou with them. As a teenager my buddies and I swam in the same water. We never had an issue. When I was around ten or eleven we actually had two pet baby alligators, which was and still is illegal. I didn’t know that at the time and thankfully, the statute of limitations has long passed. We only had them for about a week. They weren’t as cuddly as we thought they might be. I got bit a lot. They never bit my sister once.

I do feel really bad for the parents who lost a child this week in Orlando to an alligator attack. That city had one tragic week. Losing a child under any circumstance is a horrible thing to live with. I know. It’s something I’ve been very close to. I’m sure Disney will never make this family wait in line for Pirates Of The Caribbean ever again.

A lot of people are asking questions about the parents, just like when that Cincinnati gorilla thing happened. Thing is, things happen. This is a freak occurrence that’s a true tragedy. I don’t think there are any safety measures that can prevent something like this happening once in a million years, especially after you build tourist resorts on a swamp.

Before posting this I searched for hashtags and one of them is “Disney Gator” which sounds a lot happier than it really is.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!