Trump’s Twelve A Day


The New York Times published an article about Trump’s “battle for self-preservation.” It includes some details on his diet of Big Macs, KFC, diet Cokes, and cable TV news.

Most doctors, but probably not Trump’s, will tell you that this is not a recommended diet for an old geezer. The article says Trump watches eight hours of TV a day. Even eight minutes of Fox And Friends is hazardous to one’s health. It’s his consumption of Diet Coke that will make a person go “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?,” or at least make you pronounce United States as “United Thates.”

Full disclaimer: I probably watch more cable news than Trump, and like the prez, it can rile me up too. In my defense, I watch actual news and not that propaganda state-run propaganda shit Fox passes off as news. I consume too much caffeine too but I’m not in Trump’s league. Maybe three tall cups of coffee and two Cokes a day. I do try to drink two or three bottles of water a day, which I know isn’t enough.

But, twelve sodas? Twelve must be a frequent number for Trump because that’s the same number of women who publicly accused him of sexual assault. The number is much higher if we include those who won’t reveal their names.

Some of Trump’s accusers held a press conference yesterday trying to return the focus back to his transgressions. In this climate where members of the House and Senate have to resign for far less, we should look back on the horrible stuff Trump actually boasted about doing.

While Alabama’s reputation is taking a hit for the possibility of sending an accused pedophile, birther, racist, homophobe, Islamophobe, and law-breaking Roy Moore to the Senate, maybe we should cut them some slack. After all, 62 million Americans (fewer than Clinton voters) sent all of that to the Oval Office.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders and other Trump defenders will point out that voters, less than half, voted for Trump after his accusers came forward. That’s a good point but it doesn’t change the fact the man has assaulted women on multiple occasions. Just because you’re OK with someone being a creep doesn’t change the fact they’re a creep. Trump is on tape boasting about assaulting women and venturing into the dressing rooms for his pageant contestants.

Voters didn’t just overlook or ignore his history of sexual assault. They ignored his racism, his xenophobia, his narcissism, his sexism, his failed businesses, and his all-around ignorance of everything it takes to perform as president. And, since Trump wants to continue litigating the election then let’s continue to flashback to his sexual assaults.

If you don’t want to look that far back, then just look at this very morning. Trump actually sexually harassed a female member of the United States Senator on Twitter this morning.

Trump tweeted, “Lightweight Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, a total flunky for Chuck Schumer and someone who would come to my office “begging” for campaign contributions not so long ago (and would do anything for them), is now in the ring fighting against Trump. Very disloyal to Bill & Crooked-USED!”

Apparently, decency is expected of everyone except for the President and maybe the next Senator from Alabama.

Creative notes: You may not have noticed, but I’ve included a can of Diet Coke on Trump’s desk in a few recent cartoons. One reader even scolded me for picking on Diet Coke. Hey, it’s not my fault Trump drinks a LOT of Diet Coke.

Kinda like I was the first cartoonist in the nation to give Trump a very long tie (I’m sticking with that claim), I totally expect other cartoonists to start adding Diet Coke now. Hey, schmoes. I didn’t need The New York Times to point it out. I like heckling my colleagues.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.


  1. Clay,
    I just assumed that you have a Product Placement Deal with Diet Coke. As for the Long Red Tie, I can’t comment on that because I only discovered your work a few months ago.
    However, I feel pretty confident that the TRUMPSTICKA made with an arrangement of T’s is yours. You should Copyright or TradeMark it and then license it for coffee mugs or T-shirts or whatever. Might help alleviate your Starving Artist situation.

    Unfortunately, a belated search just revealed to me that the name “TRUMPSTICKA” has been used before to describe a figure made with 4 copies of a picture of 45*. My bad.


  2. Just by luck I happened to see that tweet about Gillibrand just a couple of minutes after it posted this morning. Wish I could say I was shocked, but nothing SCROTUS does shocks me any more. The innuendo is undeniable, and I hope Sen. Gillibrand raises holy hell about it. If Franken is out, then Trump should be out. He’s much worse. As usual, loved your cartoon.


    Liked by 1 person

  3. The recent slurring of United States (shates) among other words result from dry mouth plus dentures. Something the vanity of 45 must be horrified to have people now aware of. Odd that someone with as much money as he claims to have did not get dental implants unless his massive consumption of cola and impressively horrifying diet have caused so much damage to his bones that implants can’t safely be anchored.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It says a lot about Trump’s “governing” style that he watches 4-8 hours of TV news each day. I remember a TV series a few years back in which Geena Davis played a VP who became President when the President died. In one scene, she was walking down a long hallway with an aide walking beside her telling her the details of her schedule for that day, and you had to wonder if she’d have time for a bathroom break before 9 PM. From what I’ve read, that is what a modern President’s schedule really is. So it was funny when someone did a cartoon of Reagan at his desk telling a horse at the window, “I can’t come out yet, I have to work for a couple of hours.” This buffoon we have now doesn’t even work that much, and he thinks he can waltz off to his golf resort every weekend at our expense and not work there.

    On the other hand, I suppose the less work he does, the better off we all are.

    Good cartoon, by the way.

    Liked by 1 person

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