Me Too

United States Of Tara


cjones05052020

The right-wing media keeps saying Joe Biden said he “believes all women.” This morning on Morning Joe, Joe Scarborough repeated and attributed the quote to Biden. I’m not sure he actually ever said that because I can’t find it.

They are taking “he believes all women” from a comment he made during the Kavanaugh hearings.” What Joe Biden said was, “For a woman to come forward in the glaring lights of focus, nationally, you’ve got to start off with the presumption that at least the essence of what she’s talking about is real.” Let’s emphasize “you’ve got to START OFF.”

And we should start off that at least the essence of what she’s talking about is real, so you open your mind and listen to her. After that, you may not want to believe her anymore. And if you believe her, you should base that belief on the information available, not on your politics.

Tara Reade was Joe Biden’s staff when he was in the United States Senate. She has accused him of sexually assaulting her. The media has been slow to push the story but that’s starting to change. To Ms. Reade’s credit, she has refused to go on Fox News to be interviewed by Sean Hannity or any of the other out-of-control-frothing-at-the-mouth Trump cultists. But now, she is going on Fox to be interviewed by Chris Wallace. While Morning Joe went after Joe Biden during an interview with him this morning, they still haven’t invited Reade onto their show….while questioning why the media hasn’t had her on their shows.

While Reade hasn’t been on TV, the story has. So why is there a difference in the coverage between Reade and the accusations from Christine Blassie Ford against Brett Kavanaugh?

There was a very short window to cover the accusations against Brett Kavanaugh before he would be confirmed to sit on the Supreme Court for the next THIRTY YEARS. We still have six months before the general election where, if he wins, Joe Biden will only be guaranteed four years. Also, there’s this pandemic that’s left over 30 million Americans unemployed and over 33,000 dead and every American has been under quarantine. It’s a pretty big story. As Joe Biden would say, “It’s a big fucking deal.”

But right-wingers, Fox News, and other assorted Trump supporters want to talk about Tara Reade while ignoring Jill Harth, E. Jean Carroll, Summer Zervos, Alva Johnson, Jessica Leeds, Kristin Anderson, Lisa Boyne, Cathy Heller, Temple Taggart McDowell, Karena Virginia, Karen Johnson, Mindy McGillivray, Jennifer Murphy, Rachel Crooks, Natasha Stoynoff, Juliett Huddy, Jessica Drake, Ninni Laaksonen, Cassandra Searles, or Ivana Trump who have all accused Donald Trump of sexual assault. Their hypocrisy disqualifies them.

Donald Trump is lying low on this, for obvious reasons, but says Joe Biden should respond to the accusations. Biden did that this morning and did a better job than Donald Trump, whose usual response is, “She wouldn’t be my first choice.”

The Trump campaign, his advocates on Fox News, and even Donald Trump Jr have taken the lead in pressing Tara Reade’s allegations. Don Jr believes Reade should be heard, but did he ever say that to his own mother who accused his father of raping her? She has since retracted that, but should he ask her about that? Maybe, he should ask his dad about “grab them by the pussy.” Maybe he should ask his dad about the affair he had with future wife number 2 while he was still married to his mother…or about the affair he had on wife number 2. I think maybe Donald Trump Jr should want to lie low on this.

While the #MeToo movement wants to hear Reade out, tit doesn’t want to enable Fox News and give Donald Trump four more years to drive this nation into the ground. As one female friend told me just this morning, “For what it’s worth, Joe Biden could steal my lunch money and punch me in the nose and I would still vote for him over Donald Trump. If I have to choose between sexual assaulters for my president, I’ll take the one who did it once in 1992 rather than our serial molester-in-chief.”

Joe Biden was not my first choice in the Democratic primary. He was around 7th or 8th and I still wouldn’t mind if he dropped out and his spot was taken by a stronger candidate…like Andrew Cuomo. But, even if Biden is guilty, I would still vote for him over Trump. There is a difference between the candidates. Joe Biden stutters and mangles sentences. Donald Trump is a serial sexual assaulter who barges in on teenage girls changing clothes and mangles the economy and the nation’s pandemic response.

Sure, let’s hear Tara Reade out. You have my ear. And even if I believe you entirely, I’m still voting for Biden over Donald Trump. I won’t be in Biden’s camp but I will vote for the lesser of two evils. I will not vote third party or refrain from voting because both acts are votes for Donald Trump.

My friend, a very strong, independent, and liberal woman is voting for Biden over Donald Trump.

#MeToo.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Lesbian Bong Blow


cjones11022019

Revenge porn is despicable, ugly, and unethical. So naturally, Republicans are all over it.

California representative Katie Hill has resigned after revelations were made that while she was a candidate, she and her husband were mutually involved in an extramarital relationship with a female campaign staffer. Hill has acknowledged this. Her estranged husband has claimed she also engaged in an affair with a male staffer after she was in office. Hill has denied this charge.

As others have pointed out, the story wasn’t presented as breaking news but more like bombs with the intention of humiliating Hill. They were accompanied by naked photos of her and were published in the Daily Mail and the Republican blog, Red State.

Republicans are laughing and rejoicing over this, and not just because it opens a congressional seat that Hill flipped to Democrats in 2018. No, Republicans are rejoicing because they’re cruel. I’ve seen posts by several conservatives saying it’s her fault the photos became public. Why, if she didn’t want them exposed then she never should have had them taken or even engaged in such shenanigans.

You can argue about Hill’s actions with a campaign staffer. There should be an investigation into whether she engaged in a sexual relationship with a congressional staffer. But you shouldn’t be enjoying or sharing her photos. Why? It’s not her fault they’re out there and secondly, they’re not yours to share.

Whenever I hear about leaked photos from someone’s iPhone, cloud, or whatever, I don’t go searching for them. No, I don’t have a high horse. I’m not perfect. But I refuse to support the invasion of someone’s privacy or the theft of their property. I don’t buy the argument that it’s their fault for taking the photos. I don’t buy it’s their fault for their behavior. I don’t buy that I have a right to their private photos because they’ve posed nude in the past. Their privacy and property don’t belong to me or you. I won’t support the thieves who stole it. The same people who are blaming Hill for the publication of her private photos will shout you down for sharing photos from Melania Trump’s past, which were for publications she chose to pose for.

In Hill’s case, we didn’t need the photos for the story. We had the story. The photos were put out there to shame her by her estranged husband who shared them on porn sites. If anything, he should be brought up on criminal charges.

The reason for Hill’s resignation isn’t right either. She didn’t resign after an investigation proved she broke a law or an oath. She resigned because of revenge porn. There’s a double standard here.

The troglodytes who are getting off on this revenge porn overlook the fact that Congressman Duncan Hunter, also from California, was indicted on a charge of using campaign funds to support extramarital affairs with five women, and still hasn’t stepped down. Did I mention that was with FIVE women? Why is he still in office? Two reasons. He’s male and he’s a Republican.

It was only last year the House began prohibiting relationships between representatives and staffers, after decades or male congressman getting away with it. The first to be punished for it is an openly bisexual woman.

And then there’s the fact that while Republicans hoot and wag their fingers, they’re supporting a president who has bragged he’s grabbed women “by the pussy” and has been accused from assault to rape from over 20 women.

And Republicans are all about outing. Currently, they’re engaged in smearing a highly-decorated veteran as a spy for Ukraine, and they’re trying to out the whistleblower. It doesn’t bother Republicans they’re assaulting a veteran who still carries shrapnel in his body. It doesn’t matter to them that by exposing the whistleblower, they may endanger his life, as his lawyers have been facing death threats.

Republicans are constantly engaged in a scorched-earth campaign. But it’s fun to watch it burn them.

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Arias And Maduro


crsta02152019

This cartoon was first published on February 15, 2019, in The Costa Rica Star.

While Nicolas Maduro’s reign of terror continues in Venezuela, and he starves out his people while rejecting humanitarian relief, former two-time president of Costa Rica and Nobel Peace Prize winner Oscar Arias continues to see accusations of sexual assault stack up.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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#YoTambien Movimiento


crsta02082019

This cartoon was first published February 8, 2019, in The Costa Rica Star.

Former two-time Costa Rica president and Nobel Prize winner, Oscar Arias was accused of sexual assault, then accused again, and again, and again, etc. So far, nine women have accused him of charges ranging from harassment, to assault, to rape. Time Magazine has even done a feature on the story.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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A Manly Cartoon


cjones01222019

Gillette, a company that makes razors and other grooming products released an ad stating they “believe in the best in men.” Right-wing men, who love to project by calling liberals “snowflakes,” have responded by having hissy fits and showing the worst in men.

The two-minute commercial talks about “toxic masculinity” and recognizes its own past in contributing to that atmosphere. It makes a strong case against sexism, harassment, mansplaining, and bullying. Conservatives are quite upset over this because I’m not sure. They’re either in favor of being chauvinistic jerks and pushing people around or their manhood is threatened by such an ad. These are the same people who freaked out last week over a video of a brown congresswoman dancing while she was in college. I have already seen three conservative cartoons outraged over the ad. Yes, they all suck.

Right-wing conservative men are freaking out so much that they’re starting a boycott against Gillette. The ad shows men helplessly repeating the familiar phrase, “Boys will be boys.” A few high-profile dudes, just being boys striving for relevancy, have made their voices heard against the ad.

Actor James Woods, game show host Chuck Woolery, and a male supremacy group, A Voice for Men (which is a certified hate group) have all vowed to boycott Gillette razors. I guess Chuck Woolery will be getting woolier. Piers Morgan (you laughed already, didn’t you?) said Gillette “wants every man to take one of their razors and cut off his testicles.” Not quite.

In case they missed it, the ad is not telling men to vanish, go away, or to “cut off their testicles,” even if Piers could find his. The ad is telling men they’re part of the solution. The new Gillette commercial encourages men to break the cycle of treating women like property, sexual harassment, abuse, the use of violence to solve conflict, bullying, and mansplaining. It’s encouraging men to break the cycle and that is “the best a man can get.” Don’t pass this down to your sons. Don’t pass these expectations down to your daughters.

The ad shows actor Terry Crews testifying before Congress and saying, “Men need to hold other men accountable.” We especially need to hold those accountable who can’t account for themselves.

We believe in the best in men, despite there being those showing their worst and ironically proving the need for such an ad.

If you can’t be an example of the best in men, I hope at the very least, your sons are better than you.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Baby, It’s Politically Correct Outside


cjones12152018

There’s a debate raging on social media whether “Baby, it’s cold outside” is about rape or not. Many liberals are saying it’s totally rapey and conservatives are saying it’s not, and the lady has to keep the baby.

Some radio stations have banned the song and now they’re receiving hundreds of complaints, which is kinda shocking. People still listen to radio stations?

While some think the song is from a bygone era about harmless flirtation, others see it as date rape. The woman is trying to get away while questioning what’s in her drink, and the dude is giving her the “but how can you do this to me?” treatment. Also, the whole “mind if I move in closer” and “your lips are delicious” are the kind of lines that deserve a response with a friendly taser or a swift kick to the jingle bells. Make them jingle bells rock, baby.

But, is the song actually rapey? Yes. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t take a different meaning from it and still enjoy it. I won’t let it ruin Elf for me as Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel performed a sweet duet of the tune, which was also funny for its creepiness.

Just as soon as you’re sure there’s nothing wrong with “Baby, it’s cold outside,” somewhere, there’s a Klansman re-interpreting “White Christmas.” You know it’s happening. It doesn’t matter what your, or even the writer’s intention was, to that racist, it’s not about snow.

How many songs do you sing along to now that you have misinterpreted or don’t even understand? That didn’t stop me from singing along with “Smells like teen spirit.” An albino? A mosquito? Who cares? Sing it. A song can mean whatever the hell you want it to. Some songwriters, myself included, often don’t know the meaning to their own songs.

At some point, a song doesn’t really belong to the creator anymore and it becomes the listeners. That’s the way I see it. When you listen to “Baby, it’s cold outside,” it’s your song and no one else can decide what it means to you. There’s no crime in enjoying it. We’re not talking about something that explicit, like 2 Live Crew’s “Me so horny.” And, if you want a horny Christmas, then go have a horny Christmas. Just don’t have a rapey Christmas.

But for the record, “no” means no in 2018, and it meant no in 1944.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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An Angry Mob Gets Swifty


cjones10122018

Republicans don’t have a sense of irony, which is why they and Donald Trump, a guy whose businesses were supported by Russian money laundering, has connections to the mafia and makes each day of his administration a third-rate episode of The Sopranos, is accusing Democrats and liberals of being a mob. It’s also hypocritical that they accused the Democratic Party of running on hate while they’re telling their supporters to be afraid of Muslims, Mexicans, black athletes, teenagers, and women who speak their minds.

Sure, Trump and the GOP aren’t talking about the type of mob that is the mafia. They envision more of a pitchforks, torches, and converging on the castle to destroy Frankenstein’s monster type of mob when they say “mob.” Now that Trump has used the term, “angry left-wing mob” to describe Democrats, it has become a new talking point for Conservatives. Prepare yourself to hear it echoed repeatedly, like “fake news,” “no collusion,” and “snowflake.” To make matters worse for them, America’s most popular pop star has joined the “angry left-wing mob.”

Yesterday, Taylor Swift posted on Instagram an endorsement for Tennessee’s Democratic candidates for the U.S. Senate and governor, Jim Cooper and Phil Bredesen. Republicans lost their minds.

Swift has been mostly silent on political issues so it came as a shock to conservatives, though she’s made plenty of hints in the past. After Obama was elected in 2008, she said, “I’ve never seen this country so happy about a political decision in my entire time of being alive.” She came out for gun control earlier this year, and in 2017, she was on Time Magazine’s Person of the Year cover as one of the “silence breakers” fighting back against sexual harassment. The warning signs were there, conjobs.

But, some have taken Taylor’s leftist and rational views with a broken heart, especially the 4chan crowd (a message forum that’s really racist and pro-Trump). You see, for a long time white supremacists have built a myth that Taylor Swift was one of them. She’s very white and blonde, so…duh. It must have really destroyed them to read her comment, “I believe that the systemic racism we still see in this country towards people of color is terrifying, sickening and prevalent.” One 4chan user posted a meme of Pepe the Frog crying. Not only is it a dangerous time in America for horny, young, white men, but also hazardous to racist cartoon frogs.

In the past, conservatives doctored photos of her wearing a MAGA hat and her with Hitler quotes, as though she was reciting them. One headline at the Daily Stormer (a Nazi site popular with Republicans) read, “Aryan Goddess Taylor Swift: Nazi Avatar of the White European People.” If you know anything about conservatives and memes, well, that’s where they get most of their information. For Republicans, racist, lying memes are scripture. It’s why they were and still are such easy cattle targets for Russian troll farms.

Believing Taylor was one of them based on memes of Nazi quotes and MAGA hats may sound ridiculous, but the kitty rational is outright absurd. The kitty what? Yeah, check this out: Many 4chan users believe they named Taylor Swift’s cat. Yes. Her cat. Meow.

How did they arrive at such delusions of grandeur? They had a cat-naming contest (I don’t know why and I’m afraid to look it up. I like dogs) and one of the winning names was “Meredeth,” which is a much better name for a kitten than Eva Braun. Later, they discovered that was the name Swift chose for her new kitty. So, there you have it. Taylor Swift has a Nazi Kitty, and she let the hater rubes over at the 4chan name it for her. It’s just too bad she named the cat before the contest, but this is 4chan. Details. Schmetails. Heil, Kitty.

While Republicans say Swift’s endorsement won’t have any impact (as though Kanye’s will), Vote.org has reported a huge spike in voter registration since yesterday. Normally, they get about 6,000 a day. Yesterday, they received 65,000. Sure, there could be a natural uptick because we’re within 30 days of the election and the registration deadline is fast approaching, but the website is giving most of the credit to Swift.

Swift has influence. When Apple made the decision not to pay artists during an initial three-month free trial period of their new streaming service, which would have mostly affected up-and-coming artists, Swift wrote a nice letter to Apple at 4:00 AM and they changed their policy. They didn’t want to fight with Tswifty.

She came out about being sexually assaulted after the guy who assaulted her, get this, sued her (he lost because he didn’t have a jury made of old, white, U.S. Republican senators). That inspired millions of other women to come forward.

Swift has over 83 million followers on Twitter. Donald Trump has 55 million with a huge chunk of them being bots. She has 112 million followers on Instagram. It’s safe to say she has some sway.

Yesterday, Trump said he likes Taylor Swift about 25% less now. What a coincidence, because now I like her about 25% more.

Note: I didn’t go to 4chan or the Daily Stormer for any of this research. I physically can’t as I already get nauseous when Trump comes in TV. It’s also why I won’t post links to them on my site. Ew. I did my research through other sites.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

The Ralph Club


cjones10112018

I wasn’t alone in feeling sick to my stomach Saturday with the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. There’s just something especially nauseating about an entitled, prep school, trust-fund baby with accusations of sexual assault being placed on the highest court in the land by another entitled, prep school, trust-fund baby with his own accusations of sexual assault.

I don’t just feel disappointed. I feel disgusted. It reminded me of the way I felt on election night, but instead of this god-awful abomination being inflicted upon us for four years, Kavanaugh could be around for 30 to 40.

Senate Republicans ignored the sexual assault allegations against Kavanaugh. They said they believe his accuser while also believing him. How can anyone believe both? Maine’s Republican Senator Susan Collins ignored everything about Kavanaugh, believing he’s something he isn’t and gave the final vote to confirm. When Senator Al Franken was caught in a scandal for an old photo of him pretending to grope a woman, Collins called for his resignation. Yet, she’ll send Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court.

They ignored that the FBI investigation was just a cover and a hamstrung investigation at that. They ignored that Kavanaugh lied time and time again during his hearings. They ignored that he’s a political partisan. They ignored that he contacted witnesses about an accusation before it was published and that he lied about when he was aware of it. They ignored that he promised retribution in the future. They ignored that he may have a drinking problem and is a visibly angry person. And, if they have anything that resembles morals, principles, or a conscience, they ignored those too.

They ignored that Kavanaugh was nominated by a president who broke the law to win the election and was supported and enabled by the Russian government to gain the presidency.

They also ignored the will of the people. The majority of Americans did not support Kavanaugh. He had the lowest ratings of any SCOTUS nominee in polling history. He was confirmed with the least number of votes ever for a Supreme Court Justice. That’s OK with Kavanaugh and Republicans. They’re just fine if more disturbing details come out about him in the future after he’s on the bench.

Now, those people who disagree with the vote aren’t just liberals, Democrats, or people who disagree. No. Now they’re being described by Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, and other Republicans as an “angry left-wing mob.” Tribal politics have sunk to an even lower level than where they were before.

But, if we take the Republicans description, then the majority of America is an angry mob. The majority of Americans don’t support Trump or the Republican Party.  In fact, major decisions that will affect our nation for years are being decided by a minority of Americans. Those Americans are mostly the older, white Americans.

I posted about this on social media Saturday, so if you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you’ll have to suffer reading it again.

Despite having majority Senate rule, Republicans represent 143 million Americans while Democrats represent 182 million. Compound that with Trump losing the popular vote, a minority of Americans, not the majority, are deciding who gets a lifetime appointment on the Supreme Court. Basically, all the rubes stupid enough to believe in pizzagate are choosing the direction our nation’s taking for the next several decades.

That’s still not good enough for them as they had to steal a Supreme Court seat from Obama and change the rules of how many votes are required for Trump’s nominees. I’m tired of Republicans taking what isn’t theirs and inflicting their will on the majority of Americans who don’t support them. I’m tired of us letting them do it.

I hope you’re tired too. I also hope you feel sick. Maybe you’re tired and sick enough to vote in November and send as many of these old, obtuse, tone-deaf, conservative white men out of office as possible.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

T.P. Trump


cjones10102018

If you have a juvenile sense of humor then you probably laughed at the image of Donald Trump boarding Air Force One with what appeared to be toilet paper stuck to his shoe. So naturally, I found it hilarious.

What I really find funny is that dozens of people who work for Trump were in attendance and not one of them said anything. “Excuse me, Mr. President. You have something on you…ya’ know. Never mind. You’re good. Just walk up that flight of stairs to Air Force One in full view of all these cameras.”

If you read Bob Woodward’s “Fear,” Or Michael Wolff’s “Fire and Fury,” or any news report with quotes from anonymous sources from within the White House, then you know there are people working for Trump who believes he is an idiot.  And, what better metaphor for the idiot presidency than the undignified image of Trump with T.P. stuck to his shoe? It’s a better image to have stuck in your head than Stormy Daniels’ description of his mushroom-like penis.

For me, it’s also a metaphor for his obliviousness toward all that’s important, which are usually issues that are not about him. That includes the #MeToo movement. The callousness Trump and his fellow Republicans have shown toward survivors of sexual assault this week display that all too well.

Sure. Toilet paper stuck to Trump’s shoe isn’t a stop-the-presses type story, but it’s funny. I wonder if anyone’s told him yet.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Why I Believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford


cjones10052018

I believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.

I believe her because she tried to answer every question. I believe her because Brett Kavanaugh refused to answer every question, deflected, counter-attacked, and gave total rubbish in unbelievable answers.

I believe her because she is a psychologist and knows how the brain works. I do not believe she would make her story public, expose herself and her family to be publicly and privately attacked by Trump trolls and death threats if she wasn’t absolutely sure that it was Brett Kavanaugh who attacked her.

A lot of people have tossed out the theory that she has confused Kavanaugh and Mark Judge for other people. To believe that you have to believe she’s confusing two people who hung out together. I can’t believe she would do that. She is sure of who attacked her. You can’t say she was attacked but probably by someone else, and that you believe her and Kavanaugh. One of them is lying and it’s not Blasey Ford.

Mostly, I believe her because I can relate to the way she describes what she remembers and what she can’t. I can relate to why she didn’t tell anyone. That’s because I have my own assault story. It’s a story I’ve only told a few people, and just in the last few years despite it happened when I was 16-years-old.

I have been told that more men should speak out. I am inspired by Dr. Blasey Ford’s courage and bravery to speak of her ordeal in public, basically on every television in America. I’m also inspired by the courage of Ana Maria Archila and Maria Gallagher who confronted Senator Jeff Flake in the elevator.

I don’t think my experience is nearly as horrifying and traumatizing as Blasey Ford’s. I don’t think it messed me up for life. I know so many others who have experienced much worse than I did. My experience lasted for only a few seconds. I think I was very fortunate it wasn’t worse because it had the potential to be.

Coincidentally enough, my attack happened in 1982, the same year as Blasey Ford’s. It may have even happened in the same week. I do know that mine was on a Saturday. How do I remember that? That part’s simple.

In 1982, I had my first job as a busboy. I was spending the summer with my older sister and her husband in Natchez, Mississippi. They were expecting their second baby and had recently lost their first. My mom thought it would be good for Robin my sister, if she had me nearby for a while after that loss, and that having my first job would be good for me. She may have also wanted me out of the house for awhile where we lived in Georgia.

My brother-in-law’s mom was able to get me a job at a restaurant called The Post House. Being that I had no experience, I only worked lunch shifts. Though it was something you could train a monkey to do, it was hard work. The restaurant didn’t want me working on a Saturday night because the idea was to clear tables and reset them as fast as we could so you could get as many people seated as possible. Everyone made more money that way. I was not very fast yet. But, one Saturday night, the regular busboy for that shift quit. After calling everyone else with no replies, they called me in as a last resort.

Nobody was home to give me a ride to work, so I asked a neighbor and friend, who was probably in his mid 30s. He was a friend to me, my sister, and just about the entire apartment complex where we lived. He even offered to pick me up when work was over, which would be extremely late. I said the attack happened on a Saturday night, but technically, it was a Sunday morning.

I was euphoric when the night ended. At 16, it was a huge personal accomplishment to be able to keep up, though it ran me ragged. The management, kitchen staff, and waitresses all complimented me and even shared their tips. Why I might have made twenty dollars that night. When the shift was over, I called the friend.

It’s funny that I can recall the apartment, what he said and what I replied with, but I can’t remember his name, and I don’t want to. It’s not a repressed memory but more of one I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about.

The friend is someone who did creep me out. But, I kept going back to hang out at his apartment, usually with friends or my sister and her husband, Dana. I had bad vibes while liking the friend too, and I told myself I was being silly. But I did go back, but not after that night.

His apartment was always open for everyone to hang out, and my friends and I went there because he was generous with Coca-Cola, Hostess Ding Dongs (funny I remember that), and porn. He had a lot of porn. He had a VHS player which was a huge deal in 1982. Nobody had a VHS player in 1982, but he had one and a library of porn (I can even remember a few of the titles, which may not be so weird). And, he was very willing to let a bunch of teenage boys watch it all. And watch it all we did. Free soft drinks, snack cakes, and porn. He might as well have laid out a red carpet.

I don’t remember how long I hung out with him that night. I don’t think it was very long as I was tired. I wanted to unwind before I went to sleep, and I think after one Coke and Ding Dong I was ready to go home. I made it as far as the balcony before he stopped me. He lived on the second floor in one of the buildings of the complex. It was a U-shaped complex. He lived in the center and we lived on the left of it.

Just as I stepped on the balcony he asked me to wait. He was a big guy, obese even. He was easily 300 pounds, maybe 400. I might have weighed 75 totally wet. I was a very skinny kid. As I was trying to leave, he placed one hand on my rear and the other on my penis. He didn’t squeeze or grab, but there was pressure as he had a hold of me. That’s when he whispered. We were the only ones there and it had to be later than 2:00 AM. Maybe he was kind of afraid to ask for what he wanted, or he was being cautious or thought it was safer, I don’t know. But he leaned down (he was also taller than me) and whispered. He said, “Do you ever get it sucked?” I was frozen in fear. I was terrorized. I replied, “What?” even though I heard him clearly. I didn’t whisper. He repeated, “Do you ever get it sucked?” still whispering. I said, “No. I’m not into that,” which was kind of a weird term for me to use at that time and age because I don’t think I had ever said “I’m not into that” in my entire life. I thought later how it was a cool way to respond, and I wasn’t that cool. After I said, “I’m not into that,” he repeated what I said, “you’re not into that.” I said, “No. I’m not into that.” And then, he released his hands. I don’t remember what he said after that, and he may have apologized. He may have just said something about it not being a big deal. I don’t really recall. He might have felt bad about it. What I do recall is that I left so quickly from that second-story apartment that I didn’t take the stairs. No pun intended, I slid down a pole. There were poles that were holding up the sidewalk/balcony, and I just slid down it as it was right there and the stairs weren’t close at all. I just wanted out of there.

When I got home, my brother-in-law was still awake. I had left them a note about me working that night. He asked about that and if I got home OK. We talked for a few minutes while watching TV. He was probably smoking weed. But, I didn’t tell him what happened. I remember being afraid that he would notice how shaken I was. But, he didn’t that I’m aware of. But then again, he was a weed smoker. I kept thinking of the exact words in my exchange with the friend. “Do you ever get it sucked?” What?” “Do you ever get it sucked?” “I’m not into that.” You’re not into that?” Maybe because those words recycled over and over in my head is why I can’t remember what was said after.

I remember the sheer relief when he removed his hands from my butt and crotch because I didn’t know what was going to happen. I remember thinking, “How does my skinny ass fight this obese man off me?” Thankfully, it didn’t come to that. It was definitely a fear that didn’t go away when he removed his hands.

I never went back and I never told anyone. Funny thing, nobody asked me why I wasn’t going back. It’s like no one had noticed. I don’t remember how long after that, whether it was months or the next year, but my sister told me he had to move out after being accused of something with some other teenage boys. I still didn’t tell her about my experience. I was told a few years later that he had died. I’m assuming from natural causes.

Why didn’t I tell anyone about what happened to me? I was ashamed. I felt it was my fault for putting myself in that situation. I was afraid I wouldn’t be believed or that no one would think it was a big deal, or that he was joking. I was also embarrassed because I’m a guy and I was grabbed by another guy, though I was a kid and he was a full-grown man. That stuff didn’t happen to guys, only women. Right?

I didn’t have any witnesses. I can’t tell you the date. I can’t tell you what I wore. So when people question Blasey Ford’s memory, I think it’s ridiculous. Think of a party you went to five years ago and tell me the date. You probably can’t do that. You may not even remember the exact year. Though I don’t remember the date or even his name, I remember the location, what he said, and the night of the week. I remember my fear and trembling that lasted for hours.

Now, why would I make this story up? I don’t want to tell this story. I don’t even want to think about it. Do you believe me? You should, and you should believe her. Why would she make this up? Why would she lie and ask the FBI to investigate? How can someone listen to her and say, “Eh. I’m voting for him anyway.”

I asked myself if the guy who grabbed me was up for something like Kavanaugh is, would I come forward? Would it be a responsibility of mine? Would it be in the best interest of the country? I think it would. What Blasey Ford is doing is patriotic and she’s a hero. I’m just a kid who had his wiener grabbed in 1982.

I believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. I know she didn’t want to tell her story to the world, but she did and she did it for us. She was attacked by Brett Kavanaugh and Mark Judge watched. You should believe her too because she’s telling the truth.

Watch me draw.