Trump Poops Out

How bad did Donald Trump do at the first presidential debate against Democrat Hillary Clinton? The Mexican Peso increased in value by two points. In fact, markets world-wide have gone up in reaction over Trump’s dismal pouty performance. The entire planet is anticipating a Trump electoral defeat.

Before the debate everyone was asking which Donald Trump would show up. The combative crazy Trump or the more subdued kinda-sorta presidential Trump. The Trump we all know showed up. The stupid Trump.

Conservatives were keeping an eye to see how often Clinton would cough or take a glass of water so they could build their health conspiracies. She might have taken a sip and she never coughed. Trump on the other hand was sniffing like a Miami coke head in withdrawal and drinking water like Marco Rubio in a sauna.

When I was a student and performed poorly on a test (which was often), I was never asked by a teacher if I thought I did well. It was always “did you prepare?”. That’s exactly how the press greeted Trump’s campaign manager Kellyanne Conway after the debate who was trying to spin that Trump hadn’t just laid a huge and giant stinky egg.

Trump started the debate well. He had Clinton back pedaling on her flip-flop on TPP where she did lie about her past support. He might have scored a fraction of a point on the email scandal. On the rest of the topics Trump flopped. Before the debate he allowed Mark Cuban to bait him on Twitter. During the debate he let Clinton do the baiting and he bit, again and again.

He said not paying taxes is smart business and continued the lie he can’t release his taxes while he’s being audited. His witness for being against the Iraq War before it began is from a private conversation with Sean Hannity which is like a kid telling his teacher to go ask his dog about eating his homework. He defended his past wishes for the housing market to collapse. He continued the lie that his birtherism was started by Clinton and he should get credit for ending it. He argued for “Stop-and-Frisk” and said immigrant gangs were roaming the cities. He defended himself for not paying contractors and said the country should do the same regarding commitments. He also denied he ever claimed Global Warming is a hoax created by China. He said Clinton has been fighting ISIS for her entire adult life. Did I mention stupid Trump showed up?

Near the end of the debate Trump was asked about his comments on Clinton not having “the looks” to be president which he changed to stamina. The ironic thing is that it was Clinton’s stamina which won the debate while Trump wilted from exhaustion. She smiled, laughed, and was tactful. Trump on the other hand rolled his eyes, pouted, sniffed, snorted, and interrupted. He said his temperament was his best quality while he was being combative. His strategy was the equivalent to a husband losing an argument to his much smarter wife. Being loud and interrupting isn’t always a winning strategy when you don’t have a winning argument.

Trump whined that Clinton has run ads against him and then cried to be credited for not talking about Bill Clinton’s sex life. After the debate he whined more and winked that he’d bring it up at the next debate.

Trump and his surrogates complained that Clinton actually prepared for the debate. That’s like the Carolina Panthers whining about losing the Super Bowl because the Denver Broncos held practices. During the debate Clinton said she did prepare and that she’s also prepared to be president. Trump even claimed his microphone was malfunctioning, which it wasn’t and is a defense he’s played before.

Trump went into the debate with low expectations and he met them. It was believed by many that Clinton would have to devastate Trump to have a clear victory. She didn’t do that but she got the win. Trump hurt himself as much as Clinton dug into him.  It was felt Trump would win if he got through the night without having a stroke or crapping himself. Not sure the latter didn’t happen.

Those who might have had a stroke was his surrogates. Most of my conservative friends on social media were eerily silent. Rudy Giuliani said it wasn’t Trump’s best performance. I saw a few conservatives say the debate was a tie, which is always a loss when said by a partisan. The ridiculous CNN paid Trump hack Kayleigh McEnany nearly had a stroke trying to spin a Trump win.

Trump lied, whined, pouted, and even promoted a hotel. Quite frankly, that’s a lot of shit.

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