Debate Night

That Mexican Thing


cjones10062016

If you had Googled “whipping out that Mexican thing” yesterday you probably would have stumbled upon some disturbing websites. Today you’ll find the most memorable line from the Vice Presidential debate which was made by Donald Trump’s running mate Mike Pence, governor of Indiana.

He was retorting back to Tim Kaine, U.S. Senator from Virginia, when he brought up Trump’s comments how Mexico is sending us rapists and murderers.

Pence did not fail defending Trump as much as he refused to defend him. When he did he was denying comments he or Trump had made, which were all lies. For this effort most analysts judged that Pence won the debate. The GOP was so excited about Pence winning that they went online an hour before to claim he won. Yes, they actually did that.

A lot of people were sour on Kaine’s many interruptions. Kaine took on the attack-dog role which is a new one for him. His performance gave the impression he had consumed many mochas beforehand, which I can relate to (I’m on my fourth cup of coffee now and I feel AWESOME!). Pence was very calm and patient and never got flustered or took the bait like his boss did. Pence also accused the Clinton/Kaine campaign of being one of insults, which is really hypocritical. Even during the debate Trump was tweeting out that Kaine looked like a villain from a Batman movie. Yes, he actually did that. Trump forgets he looks like he was an Oompa Loompa in Willy Wonka rolling an inflated Violet Beauregarde.

Pence even offered foreign policy proposals that are in direct opposition of those proposed by Trump, such as dropping bombs on Assad and confronting Russia.

Trump’s team will tell him to watch the debate and be more like Mike. They will have great difficulty making that happen, less enough getting him to watch the thing. Sorry, Donald. It’s not a sex tape….THANK GOD!

While Kaine is viewed as losing the debate, he really didn’t. He may have come off as not promoting himself for the future,which Pence did really well, but he gave his team a ton of material to use against the Trump/Pence ticket.

This cartoon isn’t real heavy but I wanted to do something with the “Mexican thing” comment. I also really like drawing Tim Kaine and his freaky eyebrow and look forward to future opportunities. I also don’t mind taking a lighter take with this as the debate won’t move any poll numbers and will be forgotten by Wednesday afternoon. We have another presidential debate on Sunday, more gaffes by Trump throughout the week, and a very dangerous hurricane approaching the East Coast.

I am excited for our future if it includes “whipping out that Mexican thing” in the form of taco trucks on every corner.

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Veep Debate Project


vpdebate

A couple months ago, Redfront, a company in Farmville, Virginia asked me to produce this piece of art commemorating the Vice Presidential debate which is taking place tonight at Longwood University.

The owner of the Redfront is a really nice guy and he had the idea. He wanted to put the art on T-shirts. I did the job, he paid, and you’d think that’d be it and I could move on with my life. Clay was wrong.

The company hired to produce the shirts, which is in Ohio, was a huge pain in the butt. The gentleman who hired me had never worked on a project like this before. He’d email me one day asking for a file type he wasn’t familiar with, but fortunately I was. Then he’d call again the next day for another. And then I’d have to upload the file and then I had to talk to some maniac in Ohio, and then I would pull my hair out and do it all over again the next day.

I needed one type of file I had never made before and I roped a couple of friends into helping me. One tried and failed. The other (thanks, Melissa) came through. After that I went through all the required steps Ohio was demanding. I thought it was done. A few days later I’m told Redfront that he was pulling the plug on the entire thing.

I did get paid but I feel bad the project never flew as intended. I do hope Redfront can do something with it to recoup what they paid me.

But now here it is for the world to see. Enjoy tonight’s debate.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Snake On A Plane


cjones09282016

Donald Trump is a pig and a bore.

During the debate Hillary Clinton brought up Trump’s derogatory comments toward women in the past.

After Alicia Machado won Trump’s 1996 Miss Universe pageant  Trump engaged in a shaming campaign against her. He was disappointed in her weight gain and referred to her as “Miss Piggy” and since she was Latina he called her “Miss Housekeeping.” He used her in promotions by making her exercise in front of the media and remarked “This is somebody who likes to eat.”

The morning after the debate Trump called in on Fox And Friends and defended his sexism by saying “She was the worst we ever had, the worst, the absolute worst. She was impossible. … And she gained a massive amount of weight, and it was a real problem.”

We were reminded of his comments regarding Rosie O’Donnell during the debate. In the past he referred to her as a pig and at the debate he said she deserved it and nobody felt sorry for her. I’m sure a lot of wife beaters have used the exact same defense. Trump has also called O’Donnell a “slob” with a “fat ugly face.” For a guy who’ll never be nicknamed “Bones,”  “Sticks,”  or “Slim Shady” Trump sure has weight issues.

He’s denied ever saying pregnancy is an inconvenience for businesses but he’s on tape saying it.

Donald Trump focuses more on his insecurities than he does on the details for the job he’s auditioning for. Not only do I not want the guy in the Oval Office, I wouldn’t want him in my car pool.

Trump’s ego got in his way at the debate which he didn’t prepare for and whined that it was unfair that Hillary Clinton was prepared. Hey, you got the same homework. One of you did it and the other spent his time holding rallies to feed his ego. I’m sure Trump paid “nerds” to do his homework in college and it’s too bad for him that he can’t outsource his debate.

Despite flailing like a sobbing, sniffling child Monday night Trump bragged about the polls that showed him winning the debate. Of course these polls were online polls where the voters can vote, refresh, vote, refresh, vote, refresh, etc. Breitbart is a dandy place to take the pulse of the nation, and yet he still only scored 80%. Perhaps he can get a letter from his doctor that declares his victory.

Trump wouldn’t be complete without the sexism to accompany his bigotry, racism, and all-out hatred.

Would you give an important job to someone with a “no fat chicks” sticker? Then why make him president? There’s a proverbial button in the White House and I don’t want Trump’s fat finger on it.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Trump Poops Out


cjones09272016

How bad did Donald Trump do at the first presidential debate against Democrat Hillary Clinton? The Mexican Peso increased in value by two points. In fact, markets world-wide have gone up in reaction over Trump’s dismal pouty performance. The entire planet is anticipating a Trump electoral defeat.

Before the debate everyone was asking which Donald Trump would show up. The combative crazy Trump or the more subdued kinda-sorta presidential Trump. The Trump we all know showed up. The stupid Trump.

Conservatives were keeping an eye to see how often Clinton would cough or take a glass of water so they could build their health conspiracies. She might have taken a sip and she never coughed. Trump on the other hand was sniffing like a Miami coke head in withdrawal and drinking water like Marco Rubio in a sauna.

When I was a student and performed poorly on a test (which was often), I was never asked by a teacher if I thought I did well. It was always “did you prepare?”. That’s exactly how the press greeted Trump’s campaign manager Kellyanne Conway after the debate who was trying to spin that Trump hadn’t just laid a huge and giant stinky egg.

Trump started the debate well. He had Clinton back pedaling on her flip-flop on TPP where she did lie about her past support. He might have scored a fraction of a point on the email scandal. On the rest of the topics Trump flopped. Before the debate he allowed Mark Cuban to bait him on Twitter. During the debate he let Clinton do the baiting and he bit, again and again.

He said not paying taxes is smart business and continued the lie he can’t release his taxes while he’s being audited. His witness for being against the Iraq War before it began is from a private conversation with Sean Hannity which is like a kid telling his teacher to go ask his dog about eating his homework. He defended his past wishes for the housing market to collapse. He continued the lie that his birtherism was started by Clinton and he should get credit for ending it. He argued for “Stop-and-Frisk” and said immigrant gangs were roaming the cities. He defended himself for not paying contractors and said the country should do the same regarding commitments. He also denied he ever claimed Global Warming is a hoax created by China. He said Clinton has been fighting ISIS for her entire adult life. Did I mention stupid Trump showed up?

Near the end of the debate Trump was asked about his comments on Clinton not having “the looks” to be president which he changed to stamina. The ironic thing is that it was Clinton’s stamina which won the debate while Trump wilted from exhaustion. She smiled, laughed, and was tactful. Trump on the other hand rolled his eyes, pouted, sniffed, snorted, and interrupted. He said his temperament was his best quality while he was being combative. His strategy was the equivalent to a husband losing an argument to his much smarter wife. Being loud and interrupting isn’t always a winning strategy when you don’t have a winning argument.

Trump whined that Clinton has run ads against him and then cried to be credited for not talking about Bill Clinton’s sex life. After the debate he whined more and winked that he’d bring it up at the next debate.

Trump and his surrogates complained that Clinton actually prepared for the debate. That’s like the Carolina Panthers whining about losing the Super Bowl because the Denver Broncos held practices. During the debate Clinton said she did prepare and that she’s also prepared to be president. Trump even claimed his microphone was malfunctioning, which it wasn’t and is a defense he’s played before.

Trump went into the debate with low expectations and he met them. It was believed by many that Clinton would have to devastate Trump to have a clear victory. She didn’t do that but she got the win. Trump hurt himself as much as Clinton dug into him.  It was felt Trump would win if he got through the night without having a stroke or crapping himself. Not sure the latter didn’t happen.

Those who might have had a stroke was his surrogates. Most of my conservative friends on social media were eerily silent. Rudy Giuliani said it wasn’t Trump’s best performance. I saw a few conservatives say the debate was a tie, which is always a loss when said by a partisan. The ridiculous CNN paid Trump hack Kayleigh McEnany nearly had a stroke trying to spin a Trump win.

Trump lied, whined, pouted, and even promoted a hotel. Quite frankly, that’s a lot of shit.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!