Yo Quiero Frontera Abierta

A bipartisan bill on border security is currently being negotiated in the Senate but House Republicans, and a few in the Senate, are threatening to kill it because that’s what Donald Trump wants.

While speaking to MAGA sycophants in Nevada last week, Stinky said, “As the leader of our party, there is zero chance I will support this horrible open borders betrayal of America. I’ll fight it all the way.” Trump said it would be a “catastrophe waiting to happen.” Maybe a catastrophe for his campaign. Trump also said, “A bad border deal is far worse than no border deal.” Fun fact: Donald Trump has not seen the bill.

Speaker Mike Johnson said the legislation would be “dead” as soon as it reaches the lower chamber. Another fun fact: Mike Johnson has not seen the bill.

President Biden said, “Let’s be clear… What’s been negotiated would — if passed into law — be the toughest and fairest set of reforms to secure the border we’ve ever had in our country. It would give me, as President, a new emergency authority to shut down the border when it becomes overwhelmed. And if given that authority, I would use it the day I sign the bill into law.” Many Democrats don’t like that.

But wait. Aren’t Republicans howling that President Biden isn’t doing anything to secure our border? Aren’t Republicans claiming we have “open borders” and immigrants crossing them is an “invasion?” Don’t Republicans want to “close” our borders? Don’t they want to stop the “invasion?” No. Republicans don’t want to do anything.

Trump claims that President Biden doesn’t need legislation to secure the border and stated, “I did it without a bill.” Trump would rather make executive decisions without legislation which is another sign of his desire to be a fascist dictator, but the claim that he secured the border without legislation is a lie. Donald Trump did reduce legal immigration but he did NOT reduce illegal immigration. Data shows that Biden removed more immigrants arrested at the border than Trump did. Those links are to the Cato Institute which is a libertarian outlet with one of their founders and board members being one of the Koch brothers.

Donald Trump NEVER closed the border during his presidency (sic) and it remained full of icky pulsating open sores that…wait. That’s his penis due to syphilis. Never mind.

Trump’s answer to immigrants entering our nation on the southern border was a policy of cruelty. He enacted a policy of family separation and throwing children into cages. He created a backlog of cases for immigration courts and even deported parents without their children. Donald Trump is an evil racist troglodyte who smells bad with some of that probably the cause of syphilis.

Polls show that voters believe Trump will be better with border issues than President Biden which is another sign that messaging works. This is like believing Trump is better at negotiations after losing the government shutdown deal to Nancy Pelosi. This is like believing Trump is better with budgets after adding over $8 trillion to our national debt. This is like believing Trump is better with foreign trade after his tariffs on China cost U.S. corporations nearly $2 trillion. This is like believing Trump is better with legal matters after turning a $5 million fine for defamation into an $83.3 million fine. This is like believing Trump is better with a national crisis after tens of thousands died due to his response to COVID-19. This is like believing Trump is better at personal hygiene even though people who’ve come into contact with him say he smells worse than the horny French skunk in those Warner Bros. cartoons. Le pew.

Maybe we should just pour a bunch of bleach and hydroxychloroquine on the border.

What did Donald Trump do as president (sic) that was good for anyone who’s not a billionaire or not named Donald Trump? And now Trump is barking at Republicans not to work with President Biden so he can continue to use it against him in the presidential campaign. Trump is saying fuck border security, but hopefully not with his syphilis penis. Trump is putting his own political self-interest before the nation…again.

So, what’s in the bill? According to the Republicans’ lead negotiator, Oklahoma Senator James Lankford, “This bill focuses on getting us to zero illegal crossings a day. There’s no amnesty. It increases the number of Border Patrol agents, increases asylum officers, it increases detention beds so we can quickly detain and then deport individuals. It focuses on additional deportation flights out. It changes our asylum process so that people get a fast asylum screening at a higher standard and then get returned back to their home country.”

Lankford is coming under criticism by his own party for working with Democrats on this bill, but he’s criticized his colleagues in return. Four months ago, Republicans demanded that there be policy changes before they’d give more money to control the border, help Ukraine fight off Putin’s invasion, help Israel fight Hamas, or help Trump fight syphilis. I might have made one of those up.

Lankford said, “So we actually locked arms together and said we’re not going to give you money for this. We want a change in law. When we’re finally going to the end, they’re like, ‘Oh, just kidding. I actually don’t want a change in law because it’s a presidential election year.’ We all have an oath to the Constitution and we have a commitment to say we’re going to do whatever we can to be able to secure the border.”

He’s right. Republicans were never serious about the border. They’d prefer to use it to bash President Biden. They’re putting the cult before their nation.

On Saturday, the Oklahoma Republican Committee passed a resolution condemning Lankford for his work with Democrats on the border security bill and called on him “to cease and desist jeopardizing the security and liberty of the people of Oklahoma and of these United States.” Jesus Chris, you’d think James Lankford gave them syphilis. The resolution accused Lankford of “playing fast and loose with Democrats on our border policy” and of “authorizing several thousand people to invade our borders before any action can be taken.” Fun fact: Playing “fast and loose” is what can give a person syphilis.

This is purely Trumpian politics because not one member of that committee has read the bill. Their resolution contains more shit than Donald Trump’s diapers after binge-eating Big Macs and buckets of KFC. Why don’t they just make up more bullshit? Passing this bill will give every god-fearing American a case of syphilis. No, wait…that’s from human contact with Trump. Has Trump tried bleach to cure his syphilis?

Trump has called the bill a “gift” to Democrats in an election year but in case nobody else has noticed, Trump has not listed one detail in the bill that makes it the “catastrophe” he claims it to be. Trump knows this bill can do to his campaign what syphilis has done to his penis. Maybe we can enact immigration deterrence on the border by posting photos of his syphilis penis. That would make me turn around and not stop until I reached Argentina.

This is what’s going to happen: Republicans are going to block this bill from passage. If they don’t block it in the Senate, they’ll do it in the House. Afterward, they’ll resume the lies that President Biden isn’t doing anything to help border security despite the fact they’re the ones not doing anything for border security.

Republicans are such obstructionists that they’ll block the policies they want in order to hurt Democrats…and our country in the process. Just wait. If Trump is restored to the White House and Republicans maintain control of Congress, they’ll pass a bill identical to this one.

If it does come to that, I just hope they wear gloves while handling the bill after Trump signs it, you know…because of the syphilis.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have eight copies and you can order yours, signed by me, for $45.00. You can pay through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Knee-Deep In Mississippi: There are only 16 copies left of my first book, published in 1997. These can be purchased for $40.00

Tip Jar: If you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: