Immigration

Open Border


There are a lot of fallacies that persist in this country, mostly due to Republican messaging. Republicans love spreading lies like Critical Race Theory is being taught, liberals are groomers, there’s something on Hunter Biden’s laptop, election fraud stole the election from Trump, the January 6 attack on the Capitol building was a protest, Tucker Carlson’s testicles have dropped, and there’s nothing dangerous about giving the nuclear code to a 300-pound orange toddler who has ketchup tantrums. But let’s focus on two that deal with immigration, and we’re not even going to talk about the lie that George Soros is paying for migrant caravans.

The first one is that immigration is the greatest threat facing this nation. It is not the greatest threat. It’s not even close. The greatest threats facing this nation are hate, division, false information, climate change, war on women and minorities, Ted Cruz, Rudy Giuliani farting on you, and Donald Trump trying to destroy democracy and install himself as an orange fascist dictator. I would rather see the combined populations of Guatemala, El Salvador, and Nicaragua pour over our border uninhibited than to see Donald Trump and Republicans destroy our Constitution and system where we electing our leaders instead of installing them by lynching the vice-president and pooping on walls in Congress.

The second one is that we have open borders. We do not have open borders despite Republicans like Texas Governor Greg Abbott constantly claiming we do. Fun fact: Republicans are racist liars.

Earlier this week, 53 immigrants were found dead in an abandoned tractor-trailer near San Antonio, Texas. These immigrants are victims of human smugglers, coyotes. Greg Abbott immediately blamed President Biden and his “open-border policy” for the deaths. Except, we don’t have open borders. We do not have any policies that open our borders. Hell, we even check out the Canadiens before we let them in. We learned our lesson with Nickelback.

We don’t have an open border policy. We have the direct opposite as a policy.

Fun fact: Just this week, the Supreme Court ruled in President Biden’s favor stating he can eliminate Title 42, a policy left by Donald Trump that prevented immigrants with asylum claims from entering the country. President Biden tried to end it last May but a federal judge, a Trump appointee in Louisiana, stopped him.

So, how do we have open borders while we literally have a policy that forces immigrants to stay in Mexico until a later time when we determine they can enter and request asylum? If the borders are open, then why are people being smuggled in the back in tractor-trailers? If our borders were open, then people would simply walk through them and not die horrible deaths by being abandoned in the back of a tractor-trailer in the sweltering June Texas heat.

Another detail to note is that these immigrants were smuggled in a tractor-trailer which means they traveled on a road that obviously went through a border checkpoint. That means Donald Trump’s racist border wall would not have prevented these humans from being smuggled. The wall wouldn’t have even been a factor. Donald Trump’s racist border wall is about as effective against trucks as it is against tunnels, submarines, and ladders.

Fun fact: The majority of drugs, guns, money, weapons, and humans who enter this nation illegally do so through checkpoints.

Last April, Abbott ordered state police to inspect every commercial vehicle entering Texas through a port of entry, saying the painful step was needed because the Biden administration was not doing its job to secure the border. This program lasted about three weeks because it was a stupid-ass Republican idea and it was costing Texas businesses billions. But it was Abbott’s Texas border through which these immigrants were smuggled.

But again, Title 42 is supposed to prevent people from entering our nation. But just like in the past, it’s Trump’s immigration policies that have forced people to risk their lives to enter the United States. Over 830 immigrants died trying to enter the United States during four horrifying years of Donald Trump’s immigration policies. Migrant children died in the custody of Trump’s ICE agency. Every immigrant who died trying to enter the nation to this point of Biden’s term should be credited to Donald Trump. Now, we can add 53 more.

Personally, I think Melania’s “I really don’t care, do you” jacket was borrowed from Trump’s immigration goon, Stephen Miller.

Funny thing about Title 42 is that it was created on the flimsy excuse it would prevent migrants from bringing COVID into our country. What’s funny about that is the same administration worried about migrants carrying COVID downplayed the seriousness of COVID to the point that it killed over 400,000 on Trump’s watch. Donald Trump told us it was going to magically disappear. Donald Trump called it a hoax before he caught it. Donald Trump politicized the hell out of COVID and pushed crackpot remedies, like Clorox enemas. Donald Trump made Dr. Anthony Fauci a bad guy for his efforts to combat COVID. Donald Trump and Republicans pushed against vaccine mandates, social distancing, wearing face masks, and closing businesses. The Trump regime went to extraordinary measures to play down COVID and make anyone working to eradicate it the enemy.

The Trump administration didn’t want vaccine mandates, Americans wearing masks, no businesses to close, and no social distancing because COVID was harmless…except when carried by a brown immigrant.

What’s a greater danger to this nation than people entering this nation illegally? Donald Trump and Republicans. MAGA is a national security risk.

I think we should stick every Republican claiming we have an open border to spend a few hours locked inside a tractor-trailer in Texas during July.

Music note: I listened to Queen for this one.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Futbol, Covid, and Snails


CjonesRGB12012021

There is a new surge of COVID in Europe, and the new variant, Omnicron from South Africa, has been detected on the continent. Fortunately, western Europe has a high vaccination rate. Eastern Europe, well, it’s a lot like West Virginia, but with more teeth.

While there are new cases of COVID in western Europe, the death rate is low…at least for now. That’s because most people in western Europe are vaccinated. Vaccines are not a guarantee you won’t catch COVID but most cases are mild in people who have received them.

If the United States is hit by a new wave, or this new variant arrives and it’s as badass as we fear, we’re not going to do as well with it as western Europe has. Only about 62 percent of our nation is vaccinated, and that’s not enough. The take here is: Get vaccinated. I’m due for my booster this week.

Does the fact I’m vaccinated make me better than those who are not? Yes. Yes, it does.

There is no excuse not to be vaccinated in this nation. The availability is everywhere. Vaccines have been approved for children. It’s very effective against COVID. Also, it’s free.

A lot of stereotypes about nations are not entirely true. Not everyone in England walks around with a stick up their butt. Not everyone in Ireland is a drunk (right?). I’m sure not every Frenchman has a mistress or is a rude smelly snail eater. I’m pretty positive every girl in Switzerland doesn’t dress like the Swiss Miss, no matter how much you fantasize about it. Has everyone in Iceland slept with one of their cousins? Does everyone in Holland wear wooden shoes? Is every Italian male an ass pincher? Is everyone in Greece naked on a beach? And I’m sure not every European believes the United States is full of yokels who eat a ton of bacon each morning with an AR-15 strapped to their backs while being too stupid to get vaccinated against a virus that’s killed over 700,000 in this nation.

OK, maybe some stereotypes are true.

Note: Short blog today because I’m not really feeling it after receiving some devastating news about one of my best friends last night. More information on that later.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Another Border Crisis


CjonesRGB11182021

If the first thing you were concerned over upon hearing about the migration crisis on the border between Belarus and Poland, then your priorities are messed up. Oil before humanity, right?

This crisis began over the summer when Belarusian dictator Alexander Lukashenko threatened to bring in human traffickers, drug smugglers, and armed migrants into his nation to cross into European Union nations. Democratic nations in the west have been at odds with Lukashenko over his fraudulent election (the kind Trump hopes for), the crackdown against protesters, the forced-landing of Ryanair 4978 to capture a Lukashenko critic, and the attempted forced repatriation of Belarusian Olympic sprinter Krystsina Tsimanouskaya.

Lukashenko started advertising in Asia and Africa that people who needed to flee their home nations were welcome to pass through Belarus (nobody wants to immigrate to Belarus. Ask Krystsina) and into western Europe. Airlines in the Middle East increased their flights to Belarus, offered discounts and Belarusian visas. Several social media pages started providing false information on how to cross over the border from Belarus and into Poland.

After the immigrants arrived in Belarus, they were provided with axes and wire cutters to cross the border. When they arrived at the border, they discovered Poland didn’t want them and turned them around and back in to Belarus, although about 800 were able to pass through by evading authorities. For those who were not able to pass through, Belarus prevented Poland from providing the refugees with tents and blankets. As an incentive for the migrants to try again to enter Poland, Belarusian soldiers started beating them.

This is kinda like the Mariel Boatlift in 1980 when Fidel Castro “humanely” allowed Cubans to leave and paddle the 90 or miles to the United States. Among the 125,000 Cubans, and 25,000 Haitians who pretended to be Cubans (Reagan would only take Cubans, not Haitians), were some of the worst criminals Cuba had to offer. Most of the people Castro considered criminals were guilty of stuff like selling radios on the black market (here in the U.S, it’s more of an assault to force somebody to listen to pop radio). But the media in southern Florida identified at least 2,700 as “hardened” criminals. We’re talking Scarface here. This is what Lukashenko is hoping to do to the EU…give them Scarface. Lukashenko is a cockaroach.

The nations that border Belarus, Poland, Lithuania, and Latvia, have accused Lukashenko of using the migrants as weapons to attack the European Union. Most of these immigrants are trying to get to Germany, where people are civil. In Poland and Belarus, the people are more like Trumpers. In fact, the three border nations have decided to build a wall on the border with Belarus with the European Union’s support.

Belarus and Lukashenko suck, but Poland sucks too. Poland has refused asylum to immigrants who have entered its nation. They’ve also refused access to the media, doctors, and non-government organizations like the Red Cross. Yesterday, Polish border guards shot tear gas and water cannons at the migrants. Apparently, Poland has made Stephen Miller their new border czar.

Lukashenko is a monster and the true victims here are the refugees he created in order to use them as weapons. Here in the United States, we may not pay much attention to it since it’s not in the United States. And if gas prices do increase because of this, as Lukashenko may shut off pipelines from Russia to the European Union, we’ll probably blame President Biden.

The real victims in this aren’t the people paying higher gas prices, but the refugees being weaponized. And if your first concern was your gas tank, you need to check your heart and your head, because you’re a cockaroach.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: I am currently on one-week probation from posting new videos on YouTube because somebody got upset with me for criticizing Marjorie Taylor Green, Qanon, white nationalists, and Nazis ten months ago.

Biden’s Miller Time


Cjones09292021

The reason the number of immigrants and refugees crashing our border increased after Donald Trump was kicked out of office by a free and fair democratic election is because Donald Trump was kicked out of office.

President Joe Biden promised a more humane and tolerant immigration policy that inspired thousands of immigrants, making them believe the door was now open. And while separating families is no longer official government policy, a lot of the Trump policies have remained in place, like child detainment.

Biden’s messaging to the world was a little messed up. He promised a more human treatment of refugees yet has continued a lot of Trumpian policies. We are still detaining children. We are still deporting refugees without allowing them to legally seek asylum. The rule Joe Biden is using to deport Haitians who haven’t been in Haiti for over a decade, back to Haiti, was designed by Stephen Miller.

Stephen Miller used his position as senior adviser in the Trump administration to push a racist xenophobic agenda that broke down and backlogged the asylum system. The Muslim ban was a favorite of the administration.

According to CNN, during a 2018 meeting in the White House, Miller asked the room, “What do you guys want? A bunch of Iraqs and ‘Stans across the country?” If you think the withdrawal from Afghanistan was a disaster, thank Trump for negotiating it with the Taliban and Stephen Miller for the backlog of Afghanis who helped U.S. forces. Or as Miller would call them, “Stans.”

Biden wasn’t ready for the border crisis. This is obvious. But maybe we stop using policies created by xenophobic creepazoid racists.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Yippee-Ki-Yay Haiti


cjones09242021

Images and videos have been posted online showing Border Patrol agents on horseback corralling Haitian immigrants as if they were cattle. Some of the agents were waiving reigns at the immigrants which have brought accusations that the agents were whipping the immigrants.

We are having a crisis at the border as thousands of Haitians are trying to enter the United States from Mexico after traveling thousands of miles through South America. Neither Mexico or the United States is offering asylum to these immigrants. President Joe Biden, who promised a more humane treatment of refugees, has continued some of the Trump-era policies on immigration. He’s deported about a thousand immigrants to Haiti and is now planning at least seven flights a day of more deportations. Haiti is expecting at least 14,000 deported refugees to arrive in their nation. Refugees don’t seek asylum in Haiti. Refugees seek asylum FROM Haiti. If these refugees were Cuban, all they’d have to do is enter the United States and claim asylum. But since they’re NOT from Cuba, and instead, from Haiti, they get deported.

These images of Border Patrol agents playing cowboy and treating black immigrants harshly, shouting curses at them while they’re being corralled, looks like another continuation of Donald Trump and Stephen Miller’s border policies.

President Biden has replaced Trump’s director of Border Patrol, but he needs to do much more to reform this agency. Why? Because Border Patrol has a long history of being corrupt and racist. They were corrupt and racist before Trump became president.

For example, the guy Biden removed last June supported Trump’s racist border wall. This guy was the head of Border Patrol and that agency knows the wall is just a racist prop. The Border Patrol’s union supports the racist wall. Previously, the union didn’t support the wall because they knew it didn’t work…but when Trump attached racism to it, they jumped on the racist Trump train.

During the Trump era, Border Patrol agents were filmed destroying jugs of water left by human rights activists for immigrants. You see, the desert is hot and the people coming here have walked through it for hundreds of miles. Even if they entered this nation illegally, they still don’t deserve to die of thirst…or die at all. Destroying water left for immigrants is a dick move. Anyone doing this should be charged for attempted murder.

The Border Patrol has a 100-mile limit jurisdiction into the U.S. from the border yet they often stop vehicles outside of their jurisdiction. They’re real fond of pulling over Greyhound buses outside that 100-mile zone from the border and without warrants. A Greyhound bus is private property. By the way, two thirds of the U.S. population lives within 100 miles from the United States border. Border Patrol has enough people to fuck with inside their jurisdiction.

Border Patrol agents have been busted denying food, water, medicine, and basic decent treatment to immigrants in their custody. Immigrants have died in their custody, even children.

Border Patrol agents have been accused of verbal, physical and psychological abuse. We know they have separated families intentionally and as a policy. The family separation was an intentional Trump policy. Children in cages was a Border Patrol practice.

You know the United States demands human rights of other nations. We criticize places like Cuba, North Korea, China, Iran, etc, over their human rights records and demand improvement. Meanwhile, Amnesty International screams at us over our treatment of immigrants. Also, we get screamed at by other nations for the death penalty. Civilized nations don’t execute people like it’s the stone age. Also, there’s Texas and Florida.

Then there’s the corruption. In 2017, Border Patrol gave Accenture Federal Services a $297 million contract to hire 7,500 people over five years. A year later, after being paid  $13.6 million of the contract, the private company had only hired two people. In case you’re a Republican, two is less than 7,500. This contract was awarded to fulfill Trump’s demands that Border Patrol hire 5,000 more agents and 10,000 Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents. Fun fact: Two out of three applicants to become Border Patrol agents flunk their polygraph tests. Apparently, only corrupt racist fucks want to be Border Patrol agents.

Some Border Patrol agents, whose responsibility includes combating the immigrant mule trade, are themselves mules. One agent, who was actually an undocumented immigrant, used a fake birth certificate to get the job, then used the job to smuggle over 100 immigrants into the United States. He even used a Border Patrol truck for his smuggling. So apparently, some of these guys are getting through the agency’s polygraph test or it didn’t ask, “Are you yourself an undocumented immigrant looking to use this job to smuggle in more undocumented immigrants in a Border Patrol truck?” Maybe add that to the test or just stop allowing “squirrel” to be an acceptable answer to any question.

Another agent was caught on a wiretap bragging he smuggled 30 to 50 immigrants at a time. Other Border Patrol agents were caught harboring undocumented immigrants. Some Border Patrol agents were harboring immigrants to have sex with them. Add that to the polygraph. “Do you intend to rape immigrants?” Border Patrol would be looking for “no,” right?

What we need to do is corral every Border Patrol agent, find the racists, deviants, and corrupt members and brand all of them. And everyone who fails the Border Patrol polygraph can probably get jobs at Mar-a-Lago.

President Biden promised we were going to be better than Trump. So…when do we start doing that?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Gabba Gabba Haiti


Cjones09222021

Thousands of Haitians have come to the United States border seeking a better life for themselves and their children. They heard it was easier to cross the border now that Joe Biden is president and the racist guy was thrown out of office after being defeated in the 2020 presidential election. They were wrong.

Yes, the new guy is much better than the previous guy, but the new guy is still using policies enacted by the old guy. The United States of America should not be implementing a policy crafted by the xenophobic Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller. Policies like that should be trashed and sent to the worst place in the world, which is probably Haiti..or Indiana. Instead, we are sending the Haitians at our border back to Haiti.

Sure, they’re from Haiti but most of them haven’t been in Haiti for over a decade. I’m from Louisiana (mostly) and I haven’t been back there in nearly two decades. And if you deported me back to Louisiana, I’d be pretty pissed.

If you’re a buttmunch, then you probably think they all left Haiti last week and they’re just now arriving at our southern border. The truth is, most of them left in 2010 after a devastating earthquake hit their nation that shares a Caribbean island with the Dominican Republic. Where did all these asylum-seeking Haitians go? They went to South America with most of them landing in Chile and Brazil.

While Haiti, Chile, and Brazil are each in Latin America by location, they’re not all Latinos (this is debated a lot). It often comes down to language and skin color. Spanish is the official language of Chile. Portuguese is the official language of Brazil. And in Haiti, they have two official languages, French and Haitian Creole. By race, Brazil is 47 percent white and 43 percent mixed. Chile is nearly 90 percent white. Haiti is 95 percent black. So guess what immigrant Haitians encountered in Chile and Brazil? Yup. Racism. That stuff is everywhere.

So, with Joe Biden in the White House, Haitians in South America thought now would be a great time to abandon the lives they’ve created over the past decade and go somewhere to escape racism. They chose the United States. Ugh. Bad call. Did I mention Baby Goebbels was writing immigration policy? Did I mention we’re still using it? Isn’t this why we got rid of the last guy? I mean, one of the major reasons why?

So, the Biden administration, which is supposed to be more humane than the last administration full of Nazis, Klansmen, and fuckers, is exporting all these Haitians back to Haiti. That is a messed-up deal.

Haiti is not a great place to be. There are earthquakes, massive crime, poverty (poorest nation in the western hemisphere), a very low literacy rate, and the prime minister was recently assassinated. I once went out with a girl who had been living in Haiti (back in the 80s) and she told me it was basically legal to murder someone by hitting them with your car, and the biggest hassle from it was filling out insurance forms for damage to your car. A car can be more valuable than a human life in Haiti.

I would not want to send my worst enemy to Haiti. Haiti is so bad, I wouldn’t want to send Stephen Miller to Haiti….wait a minute. Yes, I would. I would love to send Stephen Miller to Haiti. Did I mention 95 percent of Haiti is black? Did I mention they don’t speak a lot of English? He’ll love it there. He can even take his new bride, Frau Farbissana, and their new baby, who is in the Guinness Book of World Records for being born with a Hitler mustache and a can of spray-on hair. How do we make these deportations happen?

Joe Biden is exporting these people back to Haiti under a Trump policy. Yes, a policy written by Stephen Miller. And Haiti, expecting at least 14,000, says they can’t take all of them at once. This is a poverty-ravaged nation that’s still recovering from an earthquake from a decade ago. Haiti has no place to put these immigrants being deported by Biden. These Haitians are about become refugees in their home nation, which is how a lot of black U.S. citizens feel in the U.S. They took a huge gamble leaving jobs and homes in Chile and Brazil to come to the U.S. Now, they’re finding themselves back in Haiti. Most of these people would rather be sent back to Chile and Brazil, even with the racism factor. It’s still better than Haiti. Some of them might even be OK with Indiana (which is another place we can send the Goebbels, er…Miller family where they’d be really comfortable).

And while there are thousands of non-English speaking black people in a humanitarian crisis, most of our nation is fixated on one missing white girl. Stephen Miller’s out looking for her now.

Creative note: As you may know, I like to draw my cartoons in the morning. It’s nice to kick them out early and have the rest of the day to goof off and write my next cartoon. Fact: Goofing off helps write cartoons. Pull my finger.

Delivering the cartoons in the A.M. is also advantageous to my clients as they can place it on their pages and sites for their next day’s edition. And, it helps with big mondo national reprints so my readers can be fooled into believing I’m a big cheese. The best way for me to work with this is to have my idea before going to bed so I can be free to have nightmares about zombies and taking out the garbage in my boxer/briefs (it’s a real fear of mine because I’m often at home not wearing pants). I usually won’t go to bed until I’ve decided on an idea. Last night turned into this morning. I got the idea around 2:00 A.M. and my first thought was, “Ooh.” My second thought was, “I can’t do this. It’s really insensitive.” My third thought was, “Wait a moment…that’s what I do.”

I was afraid proofer Laura would say, “Ugh…but you’re going to do what you’re going to do.” I get that from her sometimes along with, “Put on some pants.” But instead, she said, “Yeah, baby.” OK, she didn’t say, “Yeah, baby” but she liked the cartoon. Even though Laura liked it, the cartoon has already been criticized by a few readers. I’m OK with that. It’s what I do…like not wearing pants.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Hater Caucus


Cjones04212021

Can Republicans take one day off from being racist? Just one? Maybe go outside, take a walk, sniff some flowers, binge Netflix (not “World War II in Color.” It has a sad ending for you), go to Costo and see if bulk mayo and white Wonder Bread is on sale (is there wheat Wonder Bread? Now, you’re thinking about that), I don’t know. But, just take a day.

In Congress, there are caucuses. What’s a caucus? A caucus is a group of representatives with common interests. They are not official. Nobody is appointed. As a group, they don’t vote on legislation. A caucus does not have to be bipartisan as a caucus can be made up entirely from members of one political party. They don’t get office space, government funding, or even government stationary. They can not hire. The only way a caucus can use congressional staffers is in pursuit of legislation, which is what a representative does anyway.

A caucus is basically a club. On the Fredericksburg bar scene, a beard club formed. Basically, it was a bunch of guys who all felt accomplished because they had the ability to grow a beard. That was their common interest. Tragically, there are congressional caucuses more ridiculous. There is an algae caucus. A lot of the caucuses have fewer members than the beard club.

Some of the caucuses currently in play are the Congressional Black Caucus, Hispanic Caucus, Asian Pacific American Caucus, and LGBTQ Caucus. There is a Jewish-Latino caucus. They’re not all on race. Many are bipartisan, like the caucuses on bicycles and minor league baseball. And there are others that focus on issues and ideology, like the Blue Collar Caucus which is pro labor. The Blue Dog Caucus is for conservative Democrats and the New Democrats is for centrists as is the Republican Main Street Caucus. There is a Progressive Caucus and there is a Libertarian Caucus. There is the Congressional Asshole Caucus that consists of Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and Tom Cotton (I made that up but it should be a thing).

There is also a Freedom Caucus which sounds nice until you realize it’s a caucus for the Tea Party. When people like Tea Party fuckers talk “freedom,” they actually mean denying freedom to other races and people who disagree with them. It’s like joining a book club when you have zero intentions of ever reading a book and you’re just there for the cake, coffee, and gossip. In the Freedom Caucus, all their members are there for the hate.

You are probably thinking the Tea Party group is one for all the angry racists in Congress, right? You are right. The Tea Party claimed it was created in opposition to government spending, but it wasn’t created while George W. Bush was paying for two wars with tax cuts. No, it was created between Barack Obama’s election and his inauguration. It was a response to the nation electing a president who wasn’t white. It was really an anti-black-president party. But for people like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz, the Tea Party isn’t racist enough. It’s like going to a Klan meeting and saying, “Have you guys tried hating harder?” That’s how the Oath Keepers and Proud Boys were created.

Representative, bully of children, and conspiracy theorist Marjorie Taylor Greene floated the idea of creating a new racist congressional caucus. At the very least, maybe this new group’s name won’t be as easily mocked for their name as the Tea Party, whose members are often called “tea baggers,” which is probably something else on Matt Gaetz’s phone.

Punchbowl News (a news outlet I just found out about), published a document being circulated by MTG that wasn’t supposed to be discovered outside her racist circle. The document was outlining goals for a new America First Caucus, which would be made from hard-right-wing members. It’s a caucus that would promote Trump’s agenda of America First, be anti-brown and shithole-country immigration, anti-welfare, and push lies like illegal immigrants voting while being on welfare, and that Donald Trump won the 2020 election only to have it stolen from him.

Greene says the document was a “staff level draft proposal from an outside group.” I don’t know what that is. What the hell is “staff level” from an outside group? And if it’s from an outside group, who is that outside group? She claimed she hadn’t even read it which is believable. She probably had it read to her.

Greene said the media was “taking something out of context,” but she didn’t deny she was forming a new caucus. She didn’t mention any parts of the document or the report that wasn’t true. Then she tweeted that Trump’s nationalism and “America First policies will save this country for all of us, our children, and ultimately the world.” They’ll probably save us from Jewish Space Lasers and child-sex-trafficked pizza made by reptilian deep-state devil worshippers. If anything, there should be a space laser saving us from pineapples being placed on our pizzas. Can we get a congressional caucus for that? How about a pro-black olives on pizza caucus? Black olives always make pizza better.

As Greene was avoiding admitting the caucus was a thing, Matt Gaetz said he was signing up and that the caucus will “end wars, stop illegal immigration & promote trade that is fair to American workers.” Other hard-right GOP fucknuts rumored to be joining are Arizona’s Paul Gosar and Alabama’s Barry Moore. Hopefully, membership doesn’t mean you’ll receive mistakenly-sent texts of Matt Gaetz’s dingdong. That’ll make you hate harder…or softer.

On immigration, the secret document describes the United States as a place with “uniquely Anglo-Saxon political traditions” and argues “societal trust and political unity are threatened when foreign citizens are imported en-masse into a country, particularly without institutional support for assimilation and an expansive welfare state to bail them out should they fail to contribute positively to the country.” Basically, that’s a lot of winking and nudging about the caucus being pro-white and anti non-white.

When people are promoting Anglo-Saxon “traditions,” “culture,” and “nativism,” they’re echoing the Ku Klux Klan. It sounds like some shit Tucker Carlson would promote and he probably will on tonight’s show.

And if you don’t think the document was sending out dog whistles, then don’t believe me. Believe House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy of all people. Without mentioning the specific caucus, he replied to the news by saying, “America is built on the idea that we are all created equal and success is earned through honest, hard work. It isn’t built on identity, race, or religion. The Republican Party is the party of Lincoln & the party of more opportunity for all Americans — not nativist dog whistles.” This is the same guy who flew to Mar-a-Lago so he could tweet a photo of him standing next to the king of racist dog whistles.

Liz Cheney responded to the news by saying, “Republicans believe in equal opportunity, freedom, and justice for all. We teach our children the values of tolerance, decency and moral courage. Racism, nativism, and anti-Semitism are evil. History teaches we all have an obligation to confront & reject such malicious hate.”

Normally, Republicans are much more subtle with the winking and nudging. When someone sends out dog whistles, GOP leadership is usually quiet. Unfortunately for them, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz are not quiet. Gaetz can’t even keep quiet about the naked girls on his phone. The truth is, the document is pushing an agenda most of the Republican Party supports. They’re just not supposed to say it out loud. Sheesh!

Remember when news came out about Donald Trump’s “shithole countries” comment? There were Republicans in the room and not one of them condemned him for it while also not denying he made the comments about brown people coming here after living in grass huts and why we couldn’t get more immigrants from a white country like Norway.

Republican representative Adam Kinzinger said anyone who joins this new racist Anglo-Saxon America First nativist caucus should have all their committee assignments stripped from them. But that’s already happened to Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Matt Gaetz is already useless and doesn’t draft legislation, so it’s not like they’ll care. If nothing else, it’ll give them more fodder to scream about their “Mein Kampfs.”

Here’s a free tip to members of Congress: Any club that has Marjorie Taylor Green and Matt Gaetz as members is NOT a club you want to join. And usually, any Matt Gaetz club will require that you wear a toga.

Creative note: In the first sketch of this cartoon, I had Gaetz’s hair the way it is here, and that’s how one of my proofers, Laura, saw it. She loved it and told me it was in line with the klansmen’s hoods. But, I had already made it look more like a yard gnome by that point. So, I went back and made it more pointy. So, hat tip to Laura. It’s already receiving comments. Laura, you were right.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Tulio Carlos Esta Noches


Cjones04202021

Tucker Carlson is a white supremacist and with every new show, it’s less subtle.

Tucker has spoken in the past about the Great Replacement Theory and I covered it in this blog in 2019. Jesus, Tucker’s been on this racist shit for a while.

So, what is the Great Replacement Theory? It’s a fear by white people that in the future, they will no longer be the dominant race in this nation. Do you know who else had that fear? Adolph Hitler.

Tucker says white supremacy doesn’t exist and every night on his show, he proves otherwise. He is a white supremacist and he has a prime-time slot on the number-one rated (HA) news show in the country. As Tucker argues white supremacy doesn’t exist, former Grand Wizard David Duke tells his followers to watch Tucker because he’s talking to them. It’s all winks and nudges, but Tucker’s racism is becoming more open.

Last week, Tucker went on again about the Great Replacement Theory and how Democrats are bringing “illegals” into our nation in order to create Democratic Party voters. Just forget the fact “illegals” don’t vote. No. And in case you’re building a case about millions, or thousands, or hundreds, or dozens of immigrants in this nation voting illegally, stop it. They don’t. They don’t sponge welfare and they’re not voting. But Tucker would have you think otherwise. This is why Donald Trump watches his show.

If you listen to white conservatives, they will have you believe they are the most persecuted people in world history. Hitler’s book is literally titled, “My Struggle.” Poor little baby Hitler. Did the Nazis have wambulances? Hitler never had a Fox News.

Hitler warned about Jews replacing “real Germans.” Today, Tucker Carlson is warning about brown people replacing white people. Tucker, you’re a fucking racist. Other big fans of this bullshit theory are Donald Trump, Ken Cuccinelli, Stephen Miller, David Duke, and all those tiki-torch wielding Nazis in Charlottesville who were chanting, “Jews will not replace us.”

Tucker, when you talk about “replacement,” you are literally using the same word as the tiki-torch Nazis.

White people will not be the majority of this nation in the future, but we’re not being replaced. We’re not going anywhere. There will always be whiny-ass white guys crying that being unable to deny darker-skinned people their rights is a violation of their rights. There will always be white people crying that their being unable to say the N-word when visiting your establishment is “cancel culture” and an attack on their freedom of speech.

People who want to build walls, like Tucker, believe diversity is the greatest threat to this nation. The truth is, it’s our greatest asset. Diversity is what makes our nation great…or it will make it great. Right now, we’re still a racist nation. Proof of that is over 70 million racist voted for Donald Trump in 2020 and Tucker Carlson Tonight is the number-one rated news show. To fix this, we do need to replace some white people…white people like Tucker and everyone who watches his racist TV show.

We need to replace Tucker and his racist fuckers and tell them, “Hasta la vista.”

Creative note: I had another idea on Tucker and the “great replacement theory,” but I saw two similar ideas last night on Facebook. Around 3:00 a.m, just as I was going to bed, this idea hit me. As I worked on it, it kept evolving. It went from, “If the ‘great replacement theory’ was actually a thing” to “Tucker’s nightmare.” My Spanish lessons are paying off but I did spend an hour thinking of a “replacement” name for “Tucker.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Theater Ted


Cjones03302021

When Raphael Edward “Ted” Cruz ran from his state like a coward when it was hit by a freeze, the most astonishing thing about his actions was that he did it. OK, that would have been astonishing if he was actually a warm-blooded human being and not some defrosted creepy reptilian thing that some mad scientist forgot to put back inside his walk-in freezer.

This is a guy who has fear-mongered and scapegoated immigrants coming from our southern border so you would think he’d pick a location to run to that wasn’t below our southern border. Why go to Mexico when you spend 90% of your time bitching about Mexicans?

On top of abdicating his duties and responsibilities of a United States Senator and even pretending to care about his constituents, Ted blamed the entire ordeal on his daughters. He told us they really wanted to go to Cancun because that’s where all little girls want to go. He said it was a class field trip…without any class. If you don’t take your underage daughters to Cancun when they ask, someone might call Child Protective Services on you. Or maybe that’s only in Texas.

Later, a neighbor revealed that after the freeze hit Texas, Ted and his wife, who Donald Trump claimed is ugly, were calling neighbors to see if they wanted to get in on the Cancun action at the Ritz Carlton, which was offering amazing rates. What was not astonishing about all of this is that Ted Cruz has a neighbor who doesn’t like him. Ted’s lucky his neighbors only expose his lies by sending Heidi’s tweets to The New York Times. Rand Paul’s neighbors physically assault him.

Then, Ted goes running back to Texas the day after he left Texas. Why? Because he got caught. While leaving the state, he was wearing a generic face mask without any logo on it. On his return, his face mask was emblazoned with the state flag of Texas. He really wanted us to know how much he loves Texas…from where he ran away from in a crisis. Later, he made sure there were photos and videos of him handing out water to his constituents…which would be illegal if they were black voters in Georgia.

Ted Cruz lacks self awareness. If he had any, he’d still be in a hole somewhere out of embarrassment and knowing nobody will buy his bullshit. But we’re talking about Ted Cruz. This is the same guy who asks how to stop insurrections after helping to lead an insurrection. It’s like shit Ted did in the past never happened.

Ted Cruz went to the border and made a mini-documentary while wearing a Fidel Castro costume he probably found at a military surplus store. He took a video team with him and tweeted live videos from our southern border with Mexico. What did he see on the other side of the Rio Grande River in Mexico? Mexicans. Ted tweeted that there are Mexicans in Mexico. Shit. He could have told us that while he was in Cancun.

Ted said, “On the other side of the river we have been listening to and seeing cartel members – human traffickers – right on the other side of the river waving flashlights, yelling and taunting Americans, taunting the Border Patrol.” He also claimed he saw a dead body floating in the river, but he didn’t show a video of that. Odd.

First, how does Ted know they were cartel members and human traffickers? Do human traffickers wear T-Shirts saying, “Human Traffickers?” Sure, those people are out there but that doesn’t mean Ted saw any. And they were on the other side of the river in Mexico, “waving flashlights, yelling, and taunting Americans and Border Patrol?” Shocking. What are we going to do about Mexicans in Mexico taunting us? For all we know, the Mexicans on the other side of the border was Mexico’s Border Patrol trying to keep Ted Cruz from returning.

Beto O’Rourke, who didn’t flee Texas when it was under a freeze, tweeted, “You’re in a border patrol boat armed with machine guns. The only threat you face is unarmed children and families who are seeking asylum (as well as the occasional heckler).”

Novelist Paul Rudnick tweeted, “Ted Cruz and Susan Collins claim they were ‘heckled’ by drug cartels at the Mexican border. Both agreed it brought back painful memories of their proms.”

Wait? Susan Collins went on the Cruz Cruise? You would think a Republican Senator would avoid any photo-ops with Cancun Cruz. Republicans should treat Ted Cruz like the coronavirus and stay at least six feet…or six states away from him. At least it was just one Republican Senator, Susan Collins, lacking any self-awareness and not 17 on this field trip for morons….and what? There were 17 Republican Senators on this trip with Cruz? Lindsey Graham was there. So was Texas’ other idiot Senator, John Cornyn. Louisiana’s John Kennedy went too.

Last week, after Democrats talked about gun legislation, Cruz accused them of engaging in “theater.”

And then, he performs a theatrical act on the border. The guy literally took a camera team with him. This may be Ted’s biggest theatrical performance since his return from Cancun…or that time he went after Donald Trump for calling his wife ugly and said, “Donald, leave Heidi the hell alone,” and called him a “sniveling coward.” You know that was a theatrical performance because soon after, he bailed on his morals faster than he ran away from Texas in a winter freeze and became a Trump surrogate.

There was a huge increase in border crossings in 2019. During the Trump administration, children were ripped away from their parents and then lost in the system. Ted Cruz never took a camera crew to the detainment centers or the border during that time. The only fact-finding mission Ted conducted during that period was to find out how deep he could burrow up Donald Trump’s ass.

Republicans project. When Cancun Cruz called Trump a “sniveling coward,” he was redirecting what he saw in the mirror. He accuses others of “theater” then runs to the border with a camera crew in a Fidel costume. There probably isn’t another soul on this planet more disingenuous than Ted Cruz, and there’s no one with less self-awareness.

When Raphael Edward ran to Mexico while his state froze, with millions losing power and dozens dying, he became “Cancun Cruz.” But, Theater Ted has always been “Pendejo Ted.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw.

Welcoming A Crisis


Cjones03232021

Fox News and other assorted devious evil fuckers are spreading lies about immigrants crashing our southern border while carrying the coronavirus because Joe Biden invited them. They did something similar to this in 2018 when they screamed about migrant caravans being funded by George Soros. That was a hat trick for Republicans because it was a lie, anti-Semitic, and racist.

There’s a lot to unpack here, so let’s do it.

President Joe Biden did NOT invite immigrants to come here illegally. He didn’t even invite refugees to come to our border and legally request amnesty. Despite what Republicans and other idiots are saying, those are the facts.

Speaking of facts, it is legal to come to our border and request amnesty. What Donald Trump did was bar people from being able to request amnesty and stay in our country while waiting on a hearing. So, Donald Trump forced very desperate people to sneak into our nation. Some people died attempting this. Some children died attempting this. Donald Trump has blood on his hands.

Joe Biden did NOT open borders. This is a huge lie for Republicans and they can’t stop repeating it. He has talked about pathways to citizenship but he hasn’t made that promise to people who were not in this nation.

There is not a flood of immigrants bringing covid to our nation. It’s just not happening. This is another Fox News bullshit talking point. What do they think the quarantine is for that President Biden has implemented? You can’t scream that President Biden is allowing immigrants to bring the coronavirus here then complain about detaining immigrants. You can’t have both. Pick one. By the way, migrants are being tested at a positive rate of less than six percent. That’s a lower positive rate than Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico.

Immigration has increased since President Biden stepped into office. And yes, a lot of it has do to with there being hope in Central America that there is a friendlier administration…or at least one that’s not going to dehumanize immigrants. Rumor is, unlike the last president (sic), President Joe Biden is NOT a racist asshole. We have had a hard time hiding this fact from Central America. President Biden is a nice guy. He wears a face mask to protect others. He doesn’t demonize or demagogue people. He owns dogs. Even Republicans like him. Ask Lindsey Graham.

The majority of immigrants being detained are children who arrived at the border alone. While we can be unhappy with the way they’re being detained, and where, the situation is not equivalent to the Trump policy where they ripped families apart and threw babies into jails to sleep on floors with tinfoil blankets. It’s not like where Trump and Stephen Miller forced children, children dammit, to go to court alone and represent themselves when they don’t even speak English. The Biden policy is NOT equivalent to the Trump policy that then-Attorney General Jeff Sessions laid out as one of separating families in order to deter immigration. You don’t see anyone from the Biden administration pushing a policy designed to be cruel and giggling while explaining it, as Sessions did.

There are real issues to confront with the border. There are real issues with how the Biden administration is handling it. There are real issues about the transparency of this…but Republicans would rather use lies because President Biden is actually trying to do something about it. Again, he’s a good guy.

For Republicans, the only answer to this problem would be to deny everyone who isn’t white entry into this nation and to be as cruel as possible to the ones who do slip in. You have to remember, Donald Trump didn’t just try to combat illegal immigration. He tried to eliminate legal immigration for non-white people. This is the guy who said we need more people from Norway, described nations in Africa, Central America, and Haiti as “shithole” countries. He talked about people coming over here after living in grass huts. He enacted a ban on people entering from Muslim countries.

For Republicans, the only good immigration policy is a racist policy. How racist are Republicans? The Department of Homeland Security estimates there are over ten million people in this nation illegally. The majority of them entered legally, not crossing through a desert. The majority of drugs and weapons that enter this nation come through legal checkpoints. These are facts. So, with over ten million people here illegally, why are we freaking out over 13,000 brown children at the border? In case you’re a Republican, 13,000 is less than ten million.

By the way, is Trump’s wall not working?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: