Trump 3000

Trump has boasted that Russia didn’t invade Ukraine when he was president, as if Vladimir Putin is afraid of him. But the fact is, Putin has Trump’s tiny orange balls in his coat pocket. The only reason Russia didn’t invade Ukraine while Trump was president is because they didn’t have to. Trump was doing Putin’s bidding in attempting to weaken or even destroy NATO and invading Ukraine at that time would have undermined plan one. After Trump lost the 2020 election, Putin invaded Ukraine because that nation had a clearer path to joining NATO. Putin can’t invade a NATO country as it would start a war with every nation that’s a member of it. Invading Ukraine was Putin’s backup plan.

Anyone who thinks Putin didn’t invade Ukraine during the Trump presidency (sic) doesn’t know Borsch about foreign policy.

Hamas attacking Israel doesn’t have anything to do with weakness in the Biden administration. In fact, the attack may have been set in motion when Trump recognized Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.

Anyone who believes Trump could have prevented Hamas’ attack on Israel doesn’t know crap about the Middle East.

Donald Trump and Republicans love to cry that we have an “open border.” They blame President Biden for refugees entering our nation. But the claim our border is open is a lie. Immigrants wouldn’t have to sneak into our nation if our border was open. They wouldn’t be dying in semi-trailers from heat stroke if we had an open border. Remember during the Trump presidency (sic), Trump claimed George Soros was funding migrant caravans to “invade” our nation. So remember, anything Trump says about immigration, or anything else for that matter, is a lie.

Anyone who believes we have an open border doesn’t know shit about immigration.

I am kinda expecting Donald Trump to blame President Biden for one of the greatest rappers in history leaving rap to make a flute album. And honestly, this is kind of a travesty. Have you ever listened to Outkast? They’re incredible and Andre 3000 was half of that. Before last week, has anyone in history ever said, “Golly, I’d love to hear an Andre 3000 flute album.”? I don’t think so. This is almost as bad as when Michael Jordan quit basketball to play minor league baseball in Alabama.

Every critic raving about Andre’s new album, his first in about a decade, has probably never listened to a flute album before in their entire career. The last time they heard a flute solo was from Ron Burgundy. Sometimes, I think critics give a review they feel have to give before they’ve even heard the music. I this a feel-good story? Does the public want to hear praise for an album such as this? I bet every music reviewer loves Kiss but giving them a half-decent review would lose them cool points with the other critics. Sure, most music by Kiss does suck (especially 80s-keyboard Kiss. Listen to “Crazy Nights” and you will want to kill yourself…or cleanse your brain with Andre’s flute album), but everybody loves “New York Groove” and “I Was Made For Loving You,” even if they don’t tell anybody. Yes, I know “New York Groove” was on Ace’s solo album but it’s part of the Kiss discography.

I bet music critics love professional wrestling too and watch it in secret.

Donald Trump’s plan to stop the war in Ukraine is…he hasn’t told us. His plan for peace in the Middle East is…he hasn’t told us but it probably involves Saudi Arabia giving Jared another $2 billion and giving Trump more Liv Golf tournaments at Club Bedbugs. His plan to “close” our border is the same as the first one, separate families and throw kids into cages. At least there are probably fewer bedbugs in the cages than there are at Trump Doral.

At any rate, I’m not ready yet to blame President Biden for Andre’s flute album but if we talk about it too much, Republicans may find it to be another reason for impeachment.

By the way, go find the “Hey Ya” acoustic version that was featured on Scrubs. It’s kinda beautiful.

Music note: Sorry, but I didn’t listen to Outkast or that new flute album, although I do like Outkast. I was still in the zone for the Stones from yesterday and listened to them while I colored this.

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