Nikki Haley is running for president and I can’t take her seriously. Apparently, neither is the Republican Party because she’s only polling at four percent behind Trump, Ron DeSantis, and Mike Pence. If you’re behind Mike Pence in a Republican primary, a guy Republicans wanted to murder two years ago, you’re not going to be president.

I can’t take Nikki Haley seriously because she wobbles too much on positions that you can’t take her seriously. Even political candidates have a right to change their minds but most people change their opinions on a subject once, not multiple times.

Nikki Haley once said the Confederate flag wasn’t racist and was mostly about heritage. She also supported Confederate Heritage Month in South Carolina, equating it with Black History Month. After years of punting on the issue of the flag, she finally came out in favor of removing it after a white supremacist mass shooter killed nine in a black Charleston church. Jump to 2019, and she’s back calling it a symbol of “service and heritage.”

In 2016, she supported Marco Rubio’s presidential campaign and said we must resist the “temptation” of the “siren call of the angriest voices” in reference to Donald Trump. She laughed at an event she hosted where Rubio made jokes about Trump’s tiny penis (the one Stormy Daniels said looked like a toadstool with Yeti pubes). Months later, Nikki was all aboard the Trump train. After Trump was handed the presidency by a Russian disinformation campaign, she answered the siren call of the angriest voices and joined the Trump administration to help him push a very stupid foreign policy. You’re still stuck on that toadstool with Yeti pubes description, aren’t ya?

Haley said she wouldn’t run for president if Trump was a candidate. Yesterday, she announced her candidacy.

She’s running on her foreign policy experience which she gained working for the guy she’s running against. What foreign policy was that? It’s the foreign policy where we kissed Putin’s ass, tried to destroy NATO, waged war against Canadian cheese, tried to buy Greenland, gave Kim Jong Un a platform and legitimacy on the world stage, engaged in a tariff war, helped cover up a murder by the Saudi Crown Prince, and discovered Puerto Rico is an American territory.

She accused President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris of calling the United States a racist country, which they’ve never done (I have). She said we’re not a racist nation while refusing to campaign under her real name which is Nimarata Randhawa. Expect Donald Trump to start using “Nimarata” any day now. Nimarata, if he does, just called him “Yeti Pubes.” That should nip it in the toadstool.

She joined her fellow Republicans and attacked Democrats and educators for “wokeness.” She claimed the left was hateful while she was pushing the culture war.

She promised to end corporate welfare which must be something other than actual corporate welfare because Republicans LOVE corporate welfare.

And then she promised term limits and to enact “mandatory” competency tests for all candidates above the age of 75. Donald Trump is 76. Sure, it was also a stab at Joe Biden but she didn’t work for him. Also, despite Russian talking points fed to Republicans and Ted Rall, there’s nothing wrong with President Biden’s competency. Did you watch the State of the Union address? But there is something wrong with Donald Trump’s competency and it didn’t just start when he turned 75.

Donald Trump is a hateful vile racist person, but there’s also something wrong with his brain like they buried the seeds for his hair implants too deep. Anyone who brags about their cognitive tests is covering for something…like the fact there was a need for a cognitive test. Remember “person, woman, man, camera, TV”?

Donald Trump calls himself a stable genius, but we’d settle for competent.

This is a man who claimed he was voted Michigan’s Man of the Year, which never happened. He claimed he watched on TV New Jersey Muslims celebrating 9/11 on September 11, 2001, which nobody can find a recording of.

He thought Frederick Douglass was still alive and said he “is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice.”

He believes exercise is wrong and that a body is like a battery, born with a finite amount of energy.

After giving a speech to the Boy Scouts, he claimed the head of the organization called him and said it was “the greatest speech that was ever made to them,” except the Boy Scouts said no phone call ever happened.

He believes you need a government ID to purchase cereal.

He said a hurricane was “one of the wettest we’ve ever seen, from the standpoint of water.”

He thought the CEO of Apple, Tim Cook, was named “Tim Apple.”

He thinks the moon is part of Mars.

He believes there are invisible airplanes.

He thinks climate change is a hoax created by China.

He suggested we inject bleach to fight covid.

He believes there were airports during the American Revolution.

He thinks windmills cause cancer.

He thinks the kidney is in the heart.

He once referred to Barron Trump as “Melania’s son.”

He thinks “Obamagate,” whatever that is, is a crime.

He believes Finland prevents forest fires by raking forests.

He also thinks Finland has forest cities as if they’re Ewoks on Endor.

He hired Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell to be his lawyers.

So my question for Nikki is, “Why did you wait so long before calling for Trump to take a competency test?

Nikki is wrong. We can’t be prejudiced against older people and believe everyone at a certain age needs to take a competency test. That is ageist. Sure, age should be questioned during a campaign, but we shouldn’t stereotype and demean people because they hit a specific number. Does Nikki believe her own competency should be questioned when she turns 75?

Nikki is 51 and I think we should start questioning her competency now.

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