Banana Rudy


Rudy is in extreme danger of serving the rest of his life in prison and he’s probably too obnoxious and narcissistic to realize it.

Rudy used to put people in prison. In fact, he was damn good at it. It was his reputation for putting mobsters behind bars that got him elected as New York City’s mayor. Rudy is to New York City what Ronald Reagan is to America. Ronald Reagan was a bad president but people, not just Republicans, swore up and down for decades he was a great one. Before Trump turned the GOP into a cult, you couldn’t win a Republican primary without being a Reagan Republican. Rudy achieved the nickname and designation as “America’s mayor” while the fact is, he was a horrible mayor. And now, he’s a horrible lawyer.

Rudy lost his mind over the past 20 years since 9/11. The man who used to put mobsters in prison went to work for a dime-store clown mobster in Donald Trump. Now, the guy who prosecuted the mob may go to prison for racketeering.

Rudy pursued dirt on Joe and Hunter Biden in Ukraine, but couldn’t find anything, so he went on cable TV to spread conspiracy theories. He made threatening phone calls to Ukrainian officials that they better help Trump by providing him dirt on Joe and Hunter Biden, or at least lie and say they did.

He was Trump’s defender over the hush money payment to Stormy Daniels but messed up on Hannity by admitting Trump did make the payments and that they were funneled through shell companies. Maybe Rudy learned a thing or two from prosecuting mobsters.

And then Rudy was one of the chief strategists and public faces of Trump’s election steal. He was the champion of the Big Lie. Rudy held a press conference in Pennsylvania, thinking he booked it at the Four Seasons Hotel but instead, held it at Four Seasons Total Landscaping next to a porn shop. Rudy testified before several state legislative committees, loudly farting during his testimony. He held another press conference where the generic hair dye in his hair began to drip down his face.

In depositions screened by the House committee investigating January 6, a parade of Trump advisers testified that they told Trump what they thought of Rudy’s claims he won the election: “Bullshit.” “Completely bogus.” “Silly.” “Completely nuts.” “Crazy.” “Incorrect.” “Debunked.” “Idiotic.”

Adviser Jason Miller said he thought Rudy was drunk on election night when he told Trump to “just say we won,” without any evidence as states started to fall for Biden.

Rudy claimed such crazy shit as there were votes “in garbage cans” and in “shopping baskets” being wheeled in for counting under orders from Frankfurt, Germany. He claimed Eight thousand dead people voted in Pennsylvania when there weren’t even eight. He said there was a suitcase full of ballots pulled from under a table in Georgia which was another lie. And there was the lie that votes were manipulated by Italian satellites and the deceased dictator of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez. He even publicly attacked Georgia election workers and sent goons after them by naming them.

America’s mayor had become not only a laughingstock but also very dangerous.

In courtrooms, Rudy made several presentations that were full of debunked lies. It was for this reason that Rudy’s licenses to practice law in New York and Washington, D.C. were suspended.

Yesterday, we learned that Rudy is a criminal target in Georgia’s investigation into election tampering. Rudy is scheduled to testify before the grand jury tomorrow and if he’s smart, he’ll listen to his lawyers telling him to plead the Fifth. He may not be that smart.

The grand jury has a lot of questions about Giuliani’s appearances before state legislative panels in December 2020, when he spent hours peddling false conspiracy theories about secret suitcases of Democratic ballots and corrupted voting machines.

Rudy was also part of the conspiracy to create fake electors for states to send to Washington to certify Trump as the winner of the election he lost to Joe Biden.

And if all that wasn’t enough for Rudy, he’s being sued by voting machine companies, Dominion and Smartmatic, for lies he told about their products. The companies are seeking billions with a “b.”

Rudy believes he has attorney/client privilege, but you don’t have that when you’re conspiring with your client to break the law. A lawyer doesn’t have privileges to lie and claim stuff like tens of thousands of underage teenagers had voted illegally in Georgia when there were actually zero with a “z.”

If Rudy goes to jail, do you think Trump cares? According to some reports, Trump stopped paying Rudy.

But here’s the fun part, kids: If Rudy is a criminal target, then so is Donald Trump. We’ll find out soon just how loyal Rudy really is to Trump.

I’m not a lawyer, but if I were, I’d be a better one than Rudy. And if I were Rudy’s lawyer, I’d advise him to roll on Trump faster than Josh Hawley can run from an angry white nationalist mob he instigated.

Music Note: I listened to Everclear’s album “So Much for the Afterglow.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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2 comments

  1. The man is so far from sane we should take pity on him, but considering what he did I sure as hell hope the justice system does not. No matter where he is his mind is already rotting, so a permanent jail cell might be the safest place for him. AND FOR ALL HIS “FRIENDS”!

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