Florida is Bananas

One area Republicans should stay away from is schools. Why should the dumbest people placed into office by the dumbest, least informed, most-gaslighted, and gullible segment of society be making decisions on how our kids are educated? Are they trying to make our future leaders as stupid, racist, and hateful as they are? Oh, yeah.

After I sent this cartoon to my two proofers, one of them said, “This crop of GOP is way more reprehensible than any other.” That’s putting it lightly. This crop sucks and it’s getting worse. And it’s all Donald Trump’s fault.

When Ron DeSantis signed the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, he did it with Sharpies then held up the signed bill for everyone to see, as if he had just made his first big-boy poo-poo. Let’s hope by now, he’s learned how to wipe for himself.

DeSantis has done an amazing job of becoming Donald Trump. He’s signing pointless bigoted legislation. He’s fighting science. He’s screaming at children. He watched people die on his watch from COVID while he gaslighted. He’s trying to beat Donald Trump’s record of telling over 30,000 lies within four years. Now he’s threatening revenge on Disney for disagreeing with his hate and stupidity.

Disney is not in Florida because it loves Florida’s bigotry. The only reason Disney World is in Florida is because of the weather and low taxes. It’s the same reason old people retire in Florida…except a lot of them do come for the racism. Have you seen the video clips of the golf-cart codgers shouting “white power” in The Villages? Shouting “white power” isn’t even a dog whistle. Neither is “send them back.”

The legislation Florida just made law is called the “Parental Rights in Education” law. It allows parents to limit just how much education public school teachers can give to children. It allows parents to sue schools for educating their children. Seriously. The morons are in charge. This is the “Don’t Say Gay” bill.

Supporters of the bill argue that “don’t say gay” isn’t anywhere in the bill. But ask them if that means a teacher can say “gay.”

Right-wing goon legislatures across the nation are enacting laws banning public schools from teaching Critical Race Theory, which no public schools in this nation are teaching. Politicians, like Virginia’s goon governor Glenn Youngkin, are winning elections based on this bullshit. Now other states are going to add homophobic laws to their racist laws. Campaigning on racism in America still works.

Basically, racists are passing racists laws preventing teachers from teaching that America is a racist nation. These laws, as well as the elections of DeSantis and Youngkin, are proof that America is a racist nation. Goons don’t get irony. But America has so much more to offer than just racism. We also excel at homophobia, Islamophobia, sexism, antisemitism, and crafting laws preventing people against these things from being elected to office.

Disney has a special status that allows it to operate as its own government around its theme park near Orlando. DeSantis is now talking about doing away with the status since they don’t like his homophobic law. I guess if Disney doesn’t use its special self-governing status to act like the White Citizen’s Council, they’re “woke.”

I seriously think the ringleaders of hate must have watched Disney’s updated “Cheaper By The Dozen,” which might be the wokest film ever made. I don’t like using the word “woke” by the way. Conservatives have taken it and turned into something disgusting and they use it so they don’t have to explain the specifics of why something or someone is bad. They can just say “woke” and it’s booga-booga-booga.

DeSantis said, “Disney has alienated a lot of people now. And so the political influence they’re used to wielding, I think has dissipated. And so the question is, why would you want to have special privileges in the law at all? And I don’t think that that we should.” It’s a bit of a word salad, but he’s talking about punishing corporations for disagreeing with him. How Trumpian.

Fox News goonette Laura Ingraham said corporations that contribute money to campaign against goon legislation should “stay in their lanes.” But why is it not their lanes to be involved in but it’s hers? Conservatives believe when it comes to campaign donations, corporations are people but they’re not citizens who deserve a voice when they disagree with them.

This morning, Maryland Governor Larry Hogan, who is a Republican, called DeSantis out.

Hogan said to Dana Bash on CNN, “DeSantis is always talking about, that he was not demanding businesses do things but he was telling the cruise lines what they had to do, he was telling schools what they had to do. Mandating! And now wants to criticize Disney for expressing how they feel about the bill.

“I mean, they have every right to. We have a thing called freedom of speech. They can come out and say what they think. I think the bill was kind of absurd and not something that would have happened in our state.” His state is Maryland where a DeSantis/Youngkin type of Republican would never be elected.

Goons scream about “cancel culture” and their freedom of speech being taken away, while canceling and punishing freedom of speech. Goons don’t get irony. They also don’t get hypocrisy as they all griped about Dr. Fauci and Biden shutting down businesses yet there’s DeSantis telling businesses what to do, like cruise ships can’t ban unvaccinated people.

Maybe Florida will eventually legislate the shape of food. Florida could outlaw bananas, squash, cucumbers, hot dogs, plantains, carrots, pickles, eggplants, and… Wait? Eggplants? Someone wrote eggplants on Facebook in regards to this cartoon. If your thingy is purple and shaped like an eggplant, see a doctor.

Unfortunately for Florida, the entire state looks like a Republican penis. Limp. It’s unfortunate that it can’t be shaped like one of those neutral-gender shaped states like Kansas, Wyoming, Colorado, or one of the Dakotas. But there’s good news on this front. Soon, because Florida isn’t doing anything about climate change, Florida will no longer look like a sad GOP ding-dong in the future because it won’t have any shape. It’ll be nothing but Alabama and Georgia’s sack. How appropriate.

Music note: I listened to Oasis (not “Wonderwall”) and Outkast while drawing this. I was in the O’s in my music player’s library.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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  1. If the goons decide to boycott Disneyland there’s some kinda Ark Park or Testament Town deep in the heart of Goonland they can drag their kids to. Kids won’t dig the absence of Mickey and Minnie and Snow White, but someone passing for Goofy will be around every turn. Plus I hear there’s ample parking and the lines aren’t long.


  2. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    I know, I live in FloriDUH!! … “DeSantis has done an amazing job of becoming Donald Trump. He’s signing pointless bigoted legislation. He’s fighting science. He’s screaming at children. He watched people die on his watch from COVID while he gaslighted. He’s trying to beat Donald Trump’s record of telling over 30,000 lies within four years. Now he’s threatening revenge on Disney for disagreeing with his hate and stupidity.” … #DeathSantis …


  3. Yet, there’s a very real possibility that he’ll get re-elected governor of Florida and then use it to run for president, where the Liberally Biased Mainstream Media™ will portray him as the next great president while painting Biden as old and feeble. And he will win despite being outvoted by a wide margin because the EC is crap!

    And then America is finished, and the Nazification of the country will commence!


  4. Disney should just pull up stakes & leave Flori-DUH now. Let’s see how Duh-Santis likes losing all the tourist $$$ when they’re gone. They might as well leave since most of the state will be under water in 20 – 30 years.


    1. The state’s unemployment numbers would also take a hell of a hit if they leave as they employ just under 200,000 people, down about 30,000 from 2018 thanks to the pandemic.


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