Umpteenth

I have a personal policy of not publishing cartoons about a holiday the day of that holiday. Take Groundhog Day as an example (even though it’s a fake holiday). It kinda annoys me when I see cartoonists posting those on social media the day of. Why does it annoy me? Because when they do that, they’re just working for Facebook. Very few news clients will run that cartoon after the holiday. And the thing is, most cartoonists have been around long enough to know that. It’s one of those things that drives me crazy that doesn’t affect me.

But I made an exception for Juneteenth. Why does Juneteenth get a cartoon on Juneteenth and not days before? Because Juneteenth is the issue. We’re going to be talking about it next week, at least for a few days. Republicans are politicizing it and making it divisive. Also, it’s new. It literally became a holiday just this week. So, my rule gets pushed aside today. Also, I reserve the right to break my rules, like my policy against cliff cartoons which I allow myself to break just once a year (most cartoonists draw about 20 cliff cartoons each year. Don’t have a cartoon idea? Just draw your subject going over a cliff. Voila).

There’s another reason this cartoon is being published the day of the holiday, but I can’t tell you what it is.

I’m glad Juneteenth (and not JuneTEETH, like the headline in my former paper, The Free Lance-Star, published) is a holiday. But maybe the holiday doesn’t have teeth. It is a good thing to celebrate black independence, but does black America have actual independence?

Every aspect of our society is racist. The police system is racist. The court systems are racist. The education system is racist. Business is racist. Housing is racist. Hollywood is racist. And our political system is racist. Right now, Republicans all over the country are trying to make voting harder for black Americans. That’s what Republicans do, take things away from people that they, Republicans, have….like voting and healthcare.

Republicans tried again for the UMPTEENTH time to repeal Obamacare. And once again, they failed. The Supreme Court, even stacked with Trump’s goons, threw it out. Will they try again? Yes! Will they come up with a replacement for Obamacare? Hell no. Why? Because Republicans lie and they’re much better at destroying than creating.

Even the foundation (not to be confused with “Build Me Up, Buttercup,” by The Foundations) of all their arguments for changing voting laws, is total bullshit. Have you noticed that 90 percent of the time Republicans talk about all the changes they’re enacting for voting laws, they only talk about the requirement for Voter IDs? They act like none of the other shit is happening.

You know, the shit like not mailing absentee ballot APPLICATIONS unless they’re requested, limiting hours and days to drop off ballots at drop boxes, hiding drop boxes, making it legal for legislatures to overrule local election boards, making it illegal to hand bottles of water to voters in line…evil fucked up shit like that. And when you bring up any of that, they try to ignore it and turn the focus back on voter IDs. Sometimes they even give you the deer-in-headlights look, like they don’t know what you’re talking about. “Bottles of water what?……but everyone wants voter IDs.”

But here’s the thing, kids: Even that’s bullshit. There is virtually no voter fraud in this nation. “Virtually” means yeah, you have one asshole here and another idiot over there…but you don’t have enough to change the results of an election. I mean, usually you don’t. The last time there was enough voter or election fraud to change the outcome of an election, it was committed by Republicans for a congressional seat in North Carolina. The last time there was enough fraud to redo an election, it was because of Republicans. Virtually no black voters were involved.

Do you know what did NOT stop that voter fraud in North Carolina? Voter IDs.

But people voting while saying they’re someone who they’re not, isn’t happening. Usually, or all the time, when someone’s voting and he doesn’t don’t have an ID and he says his name is Ken Adams, that person will actually be Ken Adams. Why did I pick the that name? Because Ken Adams was the fake name used by Joey Tribbiani in Friends…and if women had asked to see his ID, he’d be in trouble.

Republicans are solving problems that don’t exist. In doing so, they’re creating problems. And yes, limiting access to voting is a problem.

Republicans should be in total unity with Democrats in making voting easier in this nation…for everyone. Everybody in this nation should have access to mail-in voting, whether they’re black, white, yellow, red, purple, or making up fake names to pick up women in Greenwich Village. It should be as easy as fucking possible for everyone to vote.

And yes, there should be a national holiday to vote.

The only reason to oppose such measures is because you know nobody will vote for you. And they probably won’t vote for you because you’re doing evil shit like voting against Juneteenth and making it harder for black voters to vote.

Happy Juneteenth, America.

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