I drew this cartoon for CNN’s opinion Newsletter. Please check it out and sign up to receive them in your email every Sunday. It’ll help me to continue drawing for them and buy luxuries like sandwiches.
That the Trump administration is full of heartless ogres, henchmen, troglodytes, goons, and squirmy, creepy icky bastards is about as shocking as Joe Biden making a woman feel uncomfortable, which is about as shocking as Donald Trump walking into a teenage girls’ changing room. He’s that guy who says “knock knock” after he’s 20 feet into the room and has already taken seven Polaroids.
After having a great week of not going to prison, Donald Trump was challenged to mess it up. He said, “Hold my Covfefe” and started ANOTHER initiative to repeal and replace Obamacare. I’m sorry. Did I say “repeal and replace?” There is no replacement. It’s just “repeal,” as kick your grandmother off her insurance and watch her die. Obama never had a death panel despite Sarah Palin’s claims, but the entire Trump administration is just one big angel of death. We’ve been waiting over nine years for the Republicans to propose an alternative to Obamacare other than noternative.
Trump has promised the best insurance, the cheapest, the greatest, the bestiest bestest where everyone is covered, even with pre-existing conditions. We’ve yet to see it. If they really had a great replacement, I’d like to see it. If it actually was better then I’d want it. Republicans have created this myth that they’re great with finances, budgets, and managing money…but they’ve actually proven it. They’ve only proven they don’t care about you.
Since Trump was on a roll of positivity, he went to the Senate to gloat over the Barr Memo’s summation of the Mueller Report not forcing Trump to spend the next seven years eating nutraloaf. While there, Trump complained about all the money Puerto Rico has received to recover from Hurricane Maria…that they actually have not received. Puerto Rico has only received about eleven billion, yet Trump claims they’ve gotten over $90. It’s like his penis. He greatly exaggerates to an unbelievable size. Fortunately, we don’t need Stormy Daniels to tell us his size on Puerto Rico is only in his dreams.
Too late for this cartoon, but on Thursday night at a hate rally in Michigan, Trump promised to shut down the border with Mexico. The man has ripped families apart, thrown babies in jail, forced babies to represent themselves in immigration court, won’t even allow people to apply for amnesty, and then after detaining thousands and thousands of immigrants, he dumps them on cities near the border. He has the gall to claim there’s a crisis. The only crisis and national emergency in this situation is Donald Trump. Is asshole a pre-existing condition? Because nobody assholes better than Donald Trump.
Finally, we come to Betsy.
Betsy DeVos testified before Congress without her Dalmatian fur coat and defended cutting the government’s funding of the Special Olympics. What kind of monstrous ghoul cuts funding for the Special Olympics? Did I mention the coat?
After three days of being beaten up in the media, Trump came to the rescue and said he was overruling his people and the Special Olympics will be funded. Hooray for pussygrabber.
There’s a theory that this was planned to make Trump look like a hero. I doubt this as plans aren’t really Trump’s strong suit. It’s like words that just fall out of his mouth without any thought beforehand what they may be. Oh look, there’s a “covfefe.”
It is plausible that Trump didn’t know about the cuts, because there’s a lot of shit he doesn’t know about…but they were a part of his budget. Oh yeah, he doesn’t read. But…this is their third time to try to cut the Olympics fundings. What also shows it’s a lie is that Betsy DeVos tweeted out that she and the president agreed to save the funding for the Special Olympics and she is so happy over this…which is about as believable at her joy when she discovers her coat isn’t from real Dalmatians and instead is from rabid possums. Oh, joy.
Here’s the thing, kids. Trump did not save the Special Olympics funding. Since Congress appropriates funding, Congress would have had to agree. In case this is your first day, the House is controlled by Democrats. Hell, Trump wasn’t even able to get the cuts when Republicans were controlling the House. The GOP might be dumb enough to vote for Trump, but even they wouldn’t cut the Special Olympics.
But, there was one piece of positive news for the administration this week. Trump finally got a dog. It’s a dalmatian.
Watch the video.