Free Unicorn Rides


I hope no one gets the impression I’m calling Republican Senators Lindsey Graham and Bill Cassidy “RINOs” (Republican In Name Only), or that their dangerous health-care plan is somehow a moderate proposal. I hate explaining cartoons but, the rhinoceros here is meant to represent a rhinoceros.

Donald Trump tweeted that he would not support Graham-Cassidy if it did not include coverage of pre-existing conditions. Last June, Graham referred to back-room deals that would exclude states in order to get a specific senator’s vote when he said, “if leaders started that crap of straight-up buying votes for their health care bill then they’re going to lose me.” Cassidy went on The Jimmy Kimmel show last May and told the host, “no family should be denied medical care, emergency or otherwise, because they can’t afford it.” He said all future health-care proposals need to pass the “Jimmy Kimmel test.” Cassidy said he would reject legislation that couldn’t meet it. Now, legislation that doesn’t pass the “Jimmy Kimmel test” has Cassidy’s name on it.

There is a simple explanation for why these Republicans words don’t match their actions. They’re all liars.

Republicans are making a deal that will exclude Alaska from their new health-care plan, as they want that state’s senator’s vote. Even though Graham said he wouldn’t stand for “that crap,” his name and support are still on this bill. Do you know what kind of “crap” I can’t stand? Lying hypocrites.

This legislation allows states, depending on the particular state’s action before with Obamacare, to deny coverage for pre-existing conditions. Donald Trump still supports it. Cassidy still supports it, and he put his name on it. Kimmel says this bill doesn’t just fail to pass the “Jimmy Kimmel test,” it fails the “Bill Cassidy test.” Cassidy says that Kimmel doesn’t understand the details. Kimmel understands that Cassidy is a liar.

I’m pretty sure the doctors who are parts of the American Diabetes Association, American Medical Association, American Cancer Society, American Heart Association, etc, who oppose this bill, understand the details. Every state Medicaid director understands this bill, as all 50 of them are opposed to it. As for Trump’s understanding, he doesn’t. But, as Kimmel pointed out, Trump hates stuff that has Obama’s name on it and that “he’d sign copies of the Quran at the Barnes and Noble in Fallujah if it meant he could get rid of Obamacare.”

The Republicans need to pass this bill next Saturday, because after that they’ll need more than a simple 50-vote majority. It’s why they’re not waiting for it to be scored by the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office, as it will underscore just how crappy this bill is, and the Republicans are lying.

Vice-President Mike Pence was asked on Fox And Friends whether proposed block grants to states would mean governors would cover pre-existing conditions. Pence dodged the question and said, “Thomas Jefferson said, ‘Government that governs least governs best,’ I mean, the question that people ought to ask is, who do you think will be more responsive to the healthcare needs in your community? Your governor and your state legislature, or a congressman and a president in a far off nation’s capital?”

First off, Thomas Jefferson didn’t say that. Pence must be getting his quotes from Russian troll bots on Facebook. But, Pence does have a point in that we shouldn’t trust our president, and not just with our health-care needs. We can’t trust the guy with Twitter. You don’t see Pence leaving his wife alone in a room with Trump.

One United States Senator has told the truth about this bill. Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley said,  “You know, I could maybe give you 10 reasons why this bill shouldn’t be considered. But, Republicans campaigned on this so often that you have a responsibility to carry out what you said in the campaign. That’s pretty much as much of a reason as the substance of the bill.” So your future health-care coverage, if you can afford it, if you can carry it, if you actually have it, isn’t nearly as important as the politics of it. Getting re-elected, cutting taxes for billionaires, and having money continue to be pumped to you from corporate lobbyists is much more important to Republicans than your family’s healthcare.

My hope is that Republicans don’t just mistake the rhinoceros for a unicorn and take a ride, but that they fall off and get trampled under it.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.


  1. President Jefferson might not have said “Government that governs least governs best,” (no might about it; he didn’t), but he did say, as Clay well knows, since he quoted it before:

    “The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them…. Do not be too severe upon [[the people’s]] errors, but reclaim them by enlightening them. If once they become inattentive to the public affairs, you and I, and Congress, and Assemblies, judges and governors shall all become wolves. It seems to be the law of our general nature, in spite of individual exceptions; and experience declares that man is the only animal which devours his own kind.”

    We are amongst the wolves. 😥

    Liked by 1 person

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