“TrumpCare” is an oxymoron. Trump, who was surprised healthcare could “be so complicated,” doesn’t care. That’s not entirely true as there are things Trump does care about.

Trump cares about crowd sizes. He cares about how many times he’s been on the cover of Time Magazine. He cares about what Rosie O’Donnell says about him. He cares about TV ratings. He cares about insults tweeted at him. He cares about being called “Putin’s Puppet.” He cares about Saturday Night Live, Alec Baldwin, and Broadway plays that insult his vice president, what’s-his-name.” He cares about whether girls are flat-chested or not. He cares that Jeff Sessions recused himself. He cares about people saying he has tiny hands implying he has an itty bitty teeny weeny tiny orange penis. He does not care about your health.

One of the dumbest things about so many people voting for Trump (out of the long list of dumb reasons) is that many voted to get rid of Obamacare based upon Trump’s promise to replace it with “something better.”

It’s like that game show where the contestant wins a prize but they can exchange it for something unknown behind another door. But what happens if you don’t like that car because it has a few problems and it was built by a black guy and you’ll settle for anything other than that car? You can end up riding home on a goat.

People voted for Trump to get rid of Obamacare while not having the slightest idea what Trump was offering. Don’t feel too bad because Trump didn’t know what he was offering either. He just assured us it was going to be “something better.” Congress didn’t have any idea. They spent so much time over the past seven years attempting to repeal Obamacare that they never did come up with a plan to replace it.

“Something better” has turned out to be dead on arrival. Not only are a lot of Trump voters upset with “TrumpCare” but so are a lot of Republicans in the House and Senate.

What’s wrong with TrumpCare, you ask? First off it says employers no longer have to offer health care. So if you’re unhappy with the cost of healthcare, don’t worry. Soon you may not have any insurance.

Another detail is that you’re not required to purchase healthcare which means young people won’t purchase it because they’re all invincible and that will drive up costs.

It gives tax credits based upon income and age which will really benefit rich people. Lower income folks? Not so much.

It eliminates the funding for Medicaid expansion. It allows insurers to impose a 30 per cent surcharge on premiums for any lapses in coverage. It aims to strip funding for Planned Parenthood. However, it does repeal a tax on indoor tanning beds (what a Trump highlight). That tax break will come in handy when you have to pay health costs for skin cancer.

The plan is so bad that the nation’s leading hospital and doctor groups are opposing it. The AARP is against it and that’s one voting block you don’t piss off. Old people vote. That makes the bill dead on arrival. I’ve seen old people come to near riots at grocery stores that were out of bananas.

Obamacare is actually titled the “Affordable Care Act.” Republicans started referring to it as “Obamacare” to scare voters. Those type of people didn’t want anything to do with something named after that Muslim, Kenyan-born, terrorist president. In fact, after the election many Trump voters said they didn’t care if Obamacare was eliminated because they had the ACA, the Affordable Care Act. Obama eventually started referring to the plan as “Obamacare” himself. He embraced it.

Trump doesn’t want this new bill, titled “the American Health Care Act,” to be referred to as “TrumpCare.” Donald Trump has been willing to put his name on anything. Hotels, golf courses, steaks, water, modeling agencies, cheap ties, a bicycle race (the Tour de Trump), a scam university, a board game, wine he doesn’t drink, and fragrances. You too can smell like Donald Trump. Get the fragrance and that tanning bed and you’re in business. Add an ugly tie and a bad reality show and you’ll really pick up the chicks.

Trump doesn’t want his name on this new health plan. That’s probably smart because most things with his name on it are doomed to fail, like his hair.

He’s not alone in not wanting his name on it. A lot of people don’t want their names linked up to the new health plan.

So when you retweet this cartoon or share on Facebook, be sure to use the hashtag #TrumpCare.

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