An Argument For School Beatings


cjones08082020

Yesterday, I read a post by a conservative Trump-supporting fucknut who claimed his child’s pediatrician is all for schools reopening and for children to attend classes in person. There’s always that one dentist who endorses the cavity-creating gum.

First off, he’s probably lying because this person does that a LOT, plus, he’s a Trump supporter which also means he could be lying or not comprehending what the pediatrician actually said. But the big takeaway I have from this is, get another pediatrician. Or maybe your kid should find new parents.

It’s bad enough your pediatrician is playing politics with your child’s life, but you? You’re willing to throw your kid off a cliff and believe there’s a net to catch him because Donald Trump, who has told over 20,000 lies as president, says there’s a net?

Everybody wants schools to reopen. Just like nobody is arguing the country should be closed permanently, I haven’t heard anyone make the case for never reopening schools. I remember when my kid was little. I remember pulling my hair out. I remember wanting to run away and never to be seen or heard from again. I remember those days of wanting to kill your kid while still loving him. I remember hours upon hours of, “why?”. I get it. Get those kids out of the house and back in school. But I know now is not the time.

Southern states made an argument to reopen in the midst of the Trump Virus. They were wrong and more people died. Donald Trump made an argument to restart his hate rallies. He was wrong and people died. Ask Herman Cain. Oh wait. You can’t. So, the same people who were wrong about reopening their states and hate rallies still want to try it with schools? They still want to play politics with your kids’ lives?

Yesterday, Donald Trump said kids are “virtually immune” to the Trump Virus. That’s not wrong. It’s a flat-out lie. He knows it’s a lie and he keeps saying it. Remember his other lies about the virus? It’s going to disappear? It’ll be gone by Easter? Everyone who wants a test can get a test? Hey, take some malaria medication? Hey, drink bleach?

Here’s a crazy idea that’s as wild as not voting for the candidate endorsed by Russia: Don’t listen to Donald Trump especially when it comes to the life of your child. Don’t support the candidate willing to sacrifice your child for his own personal gain.

Here’s a test about whether or not you’re in a cult: If you’re still supporting the guy willing to kill your kid for his narcissism, you’re in a cult. Here’s another one: If you’re defending Dr. Demon Sperm, you’re in a cult (I’m looking at you, every Republican political cartoonist).

But then again, Donald Trump did make a very strong argument for the importance of education. Kids need school. If they don’t go, they may never become fully literate. If that happens, someday they may be forced to read aloud as an adult and they won’t be able to pronounce “Yosemite.”

To sum up, until we can get our kids back in school, Dr. Clay recommends hours on top of hours of old Bugs Bunny cartoons. Look how I turned out?

Disclaimer: I’m not a real doctor, but I have drawn cartoons of them.

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7 comments

  1. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    News, ews, news … same old shyte!! … Schools, masks, immunity!! … “Trump did make a very strong argument for the importance of education. Kids need school. If they don’t go, they may never become fully literate. If that happens, someday they may be forced to read aloud as an adult and they won’t be able to pronounce “Yosemite.” … To sum up, until we can get our kids back in school, Dr. Clay recommends hours on top of hours!”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sideshow Donnie’s dad never let him watch Saturday morning cartoons. Not that THAT is any excuse for not being able to read. When I watch and listen to Trump read (I do try not to) it reminds me of my early school days many years ago when we silently/mentally prodded the slower readers-on so they would finish reading as quickly as possible. But. They were just kids who were just learning, not a 74 year-old phuck-wad who daily brags on how smart he is. 89 more g’damn days Clay.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. How do you think The Donald might read the names Persephone or Peneĺope if one of them suddenly popped up on his teleprompter? I’d love to watch him try?
    But, seriously, what is wrong with kids taking a year off school, or even two, if it means keeping them SAFE, and more importantly, ALIVE!
    Is the world going to stop? Maybe the kids won’t have so many psychoses, when they grow up? Or, do we have to have psychoses in order to keep our psychologists and psychiatrists employed. I can see a kid, forced now to go to school, his parents risking his life so that mommy and daddy can work all day for his future while playing Russian Roulette with his life, coming home as a bitter young adult: “Mom, Dad? I learned today you risked my life as a kid so you could live your own lives? I kind of understand but, how do you think that makes me feel? Am I supposed to love you despite what you did? Well, I don’t!” Two bullets later, or 81 whacks with a dull axe later, standing in pools of blood, the kid finally comes to his senses. “All you had to do was keep me safe. Was that so hard to do? Well I just made you safe for eternity. No one is ever going to hurt you again.”
    With luck, one of the kids will be named Barron.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. here I am ….. your number one fan.

    you do know you could be a comedy writer don’t you????!!!! thanks for my daily bit of smart, comic relief.

    deb

    Liked by 1 person

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