Despite hanging out with multiple Trump cultists and shitweasels who may be infected with the coronavirus, and several who definitely are, Donald Trump was reluctant about taking a test to see if maybe he had contracted the virus.
He told us he wasn’t worried about being in contact with people who had the virus because he didn’t know them and about that photo of him grinning it up with the infected Brazilian, he hasn’t even seen that photo. Maybe that was his coronavirus test.
He finally took a test after being pressured by the press. Maybe there were questions like, “have you seen the photo? No? Well, then you can’t have the virus because that’s how shit works. Here’s your lolly.”
That’s how it works in Trumplandia but not in reality, where the majority of us live.
Also, here, in reality, you’re not actually 240 pounds just because a fucknut doctor said you are. And if you’re 5 foot nine, and a doctor looking to appease your cult says you’re 6 foot three, you’re still actually 5 foot nine. Sorry.
So, when asked about taking the test, Trump tried to dodge the question before finally mumbling it was “difficult” and nobody would enjoy it, “it was unpleasant… it’s a medical test! It’s not fun!” I mean, it’s almost like he didn’t take the test.
Perhaps he thought it was like one of those tests for an STD, where they need to stick a cotton swab into your pee hole and twirl it around 5-10 times. That, I can only guess because I never dated like Trump did in the 80s, has to be unpleasant (I just looked it up on the internet to see if it’s true and OHMYGOD). So maybe Donald Trump thought the coronavirus test was similar and for some weird reason would involve his penis.
But since he likes to take credit for Obama’s accomplishments, which he’s finally fucking up, maybe he stole his test results for the coronavirus. I’m sure President Obama’s results would come back negative since he hasn’t been hanging out with right-wing fuckos at Mar-a-Lago, which by the way, is being closed down for the coronavirus.
I think now would be a great opportunity for Donald Trump to self-quarantine at Mar-a-Lago and while he’s there, maybe do something about that bedbug problem.
If Trump does take a test, I’m sure it’ll come back positive in that he is the virus. He is the pandemic. He is the plague. Four more years? Personally, I’d rather have a doctor stick a cotton swab in my pee hole.
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