MAGA Corruption


Have you seen a Trump rally on TV, or even worse, been to one? If so, you’ve witnessed the Trump sycophants chant “lock her up,” despite there being several people from the Trump campaign, administration, and assorted goons connected to him who will be the ones locked up soon. They like to chant “build the wall,” while not realizing that their goofy asses will be the ones paying for that wall. Now, they like to yell “space force,” despite not knowing what it is and not thinking how they’re going to pay for it when they haven’t even started paying for that racist wall yet. But, one of my favorites is “drain the swamp.” Drain the what now?

The swamp, man. The swamp. It’s a metaphor for all the corrupt Democrats who are profiting from their government positions and squirreling around protecting each other.

Like Hillary Clinton. She sold all of our uranium to Russia who took it out of our nation to use it against us in nuclear weapons (because Trump told us uranium is nukes) and then she took all the money to buy pantsuits. Oh, wait. That’s not even remotely true. She didn’t approve the sale, didn’t get any of the money, and Russia can’t take the uranium out of the United States. Darn.

But, Hillary did take money out of her charity, the Clinton Foundation to purchase gifts for herself, pay fines incurred by her businesses, and pay off corrupt politicians. What? That was Trump and his charity, the Trump Foundation?

Didn’t Hillary at least host charity events at her golf resorts and make huge profits from it? Wrong? That was Trump too, and Hillary doesn’t even own any golf courses? Does she at least play golf?

Didn’t she charge her campaign and the Democratic National Committee rent and make buckos off that? Trump again with his campaign and the RNC? Well pooh.

At least there’s that one Democrat in Congress, who was a wrestling coach, knew about another coach showering and touching young boys, and he kept his mouth shut about it. That’s pretty swampy. My bad. That was Republican Jim Jordan, who wants to be the next Speaker of the House, by the way, and who I do not want to see in a wrestling singlet (ew).

What about that Democrat caught on a microphone saying his party is the only thing standing between investigations and the president and will try to impeach the Deputy Attorney General? Yikes. That was Republican Devin Nunes and that happened just this week. Nope. Don’t wanna see him in a wrestling Speedo either.

Obama played a lot of golf, right? Well, every time he played it was at one of his resorts where he charged the government for his staff to stay, and he even charged the Secret Service golf cart fees to follow him around while he cheated at golf. What? Trump again? Obama doesn’t own resorts either?

What about Malia Obama? While her dad was president, her made-in-China products were excluded from tariffs and her personal wealth increased $81 million during her dad’s first year in office. That was Ivanka? Are you sure? Malia was still in high school, and she doesn’t even have a product brand? Man…

Well, how about Sasha Obama’s husband? His wealth increased too and foreign policy was shaped to punish nations depending on whether they loaned his family money or not. Come again? Sasha doesn’t have a husband and wasn’t even old enough to get married? Don’t tell me that was Jared. It was Jared.

What about Obama’s head of the EPA, who was taking charter flights everywhere, building up personal security, purchasing a soundproof booth, getting sweetheart deals by renting from lobbyists, and…That was Scott Pruitt, Trump’s appointee?

This one is new. Congressman Chris Collins served on the House Energy and Commerce Committee, which has jurisdiction over the pharmaceutical industry in which Collins was deeply invested. He was seen on the phone, while on the White House lawn for a picnic, telling his son to sell stock where he served on the board of directors and was the largest stockholder. Collins learned that a test for a potentially revolutionary multiple-sclerosis drug had failed, and his son saved $768,000 by selling the stock before the public could. That guy is a Demo….crap.  Another Republican. He was also the first Republican in Congress to endorse Trump? Well, this is starting to look kinda bad.

Ya know, if I didn’t know better, I’d start to think all those dorks at the Trump rallies are stupid hypocrites.

Maybe we should drain a Trump rally.

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