Sorry Giuliani


cjones05242018

I think the most amazing thing about the current Rudy Giuliani disaster tour is that it’s still going. Doesn’t a tire fire eventually burn out?

After joining Trump’s legal defense team, Rudy went on Hannity’s show on Trump TV and threw their entire strategy out the window. For the rest of Trump’s legal team, it was like coming to work the next morning to discover a dead raccoon in the copier. It really stunk up the place and nobody wanted to touch it.

Rudy told Hannity that Trump knew about the payment to porn star Stormy Daniels that was made through fixer/lawyer Michael Cohen, that Trump had paid Cohen back, that Trump lied about knowing of the payment, that Trump helped commit a campaign finance violation, and that the president of the United States raw-dogged a porn star while his wife was home with a newborn baby. Even Hannity, the guy who washes Trump’s feet with his tongue, couldn’t bail out the Trump team during that performance. I’m surprised Rudy didn’t say, “of course there’s no pee-pee tape with Russian hookers. Don’t be ridiculous. We destroyed that months ago.”

Trump later said Rudy was new on the job and still learning the details of everything. So what do they do? They send him back out to talk to the media. Again. And again.

Now Rudy says the Special Counsel team told him they’re not going to indict the president, and they’re willing to conduct a short interview with Trump where they will not bring up anything to do with obstruction. What? The Special Counsel was created because Trump fired the director of the FBI, and they’re not going to want to talk about that?

Rudy also thinks James Comey is a liar, that stormtroopers raided Cohen’s office, and that Martha Stewart went to jail for testifying and not for the lies she told. So, maybe when he talked to the Special Counsel’s office his problem with comprehension was a factor.

What was very enjoyable was watching Giuliani’s meltdown on CNN when Chris Cuomo asked him why he believes the president can’t be forced to testify, but in 1998 he argued the opposite. Rudy denied ever saying that and when Cuomo showed him a clip of it, Rudy shouted throughout it, said “aw c’mon,” that it’s not relevant and the interview was being unfair. If only he was on Fox & Friends where they don’t unfairly hold you accountable for your own words.

It gets better. A lot better. Rudy says Trump is owed an apology for the Russia investigation. How would that work? Are we sorry you’re a traitor? Are we sorry you hired Russians to work on your campaign? Are we sorry your campaign manager was indicted? Are we sorry the Justice Department isn’t working as your personal protection agency? Are we sorry your fixer is as stupid as he looks?

Personally, I’m sorry I can’t draw Rudy Giuliani every day.

Watch me draw.

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2 comments

  1. From what I’ve heard, the Justice Department can’t indict a serving President. I think it has to come from Congress.

    So, there might be some truth to Giuliani claiming the department told him they weren’t going to indict Trump – technically. His inference that it meant Trump wasn’t going to be indicted or charged with a crime is the B.S.

    Liked by 2 people

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