Mueller

Sorry Giuliani


cjones05242018

I think the most amazing thing about the current Rudy Giuliani disaster tour is that it’s still going. Doesn’t a tire fire eventually burn out?

After joining Trump’s legal defense team, Rudy went on Hannity’s show on Trump TV and threw their entire strategy out the window. For the rest of Trump’s legal team, it was like coming to work the next morning to discover a dead raccoon in the copier. It really stunk up the place and nobody wanted to touch it.

Rudy told Hannity that Trump knew about the payment to porn star Stormy Daniels that was made through fixer/lawyer Michael Cohen, that Trump had paid Cohen back, that Trump lied about knowing of the payment, that Trump helped commit a campaign finance violation, and that the president of the United States raw-dogged a porn star while his wife was home with a newborn baby. Even Hannity, the guy who washes Trump’s feet with his tongue, couldn’t bail out the Trump team during that performance. I’m surprised Rudy didn’t say, “of course there’s no pee-pee tape with Russian hookers. Don’t be ridiculous. We destroyed that months ago.”

Trump later said Rudy was new on the job and still learning the details of everything. So what do they do? They send him back out to talk to the media. Again. And again.

Now Rudy says the Special Counsel team told him they’re not going to indict the president, and they’re willing to conduct a short interview with Trump where they will not bring up anything to do with obstruction. What? The Special Counsel was created because Trump fired the director of the FBI, and they’re not going to want to talk about that?

Rudy also thinks James Comey is a liar, that stormtroopers raided Cohen’s office, and that Martha Stewart went to jail for testifying and not for the lies she told. So, maybe when he talked to the Special Counsel’s office his problem with comprehension was a factor.

What was very enjoyable was watching Giuliani’s meltdown on CNN when Chris Cuomo asked him why he believes the president can’t be forced to testify, but in 1998 he argued the opposite. Rudy denied ever saying that and when Cuomo showed him a clip of it, Rudy shouted throughout it, said “aw c’mon,” that it’s not relevant and the interview was being unfair. If only he was on Fox & Friends where they don’t unfairly hold you accountable for your own words.

It gets better. A lot better. Rudy says Trump is owed an apology for the Russia investigation. How would that work? Are we sorry you’re a traitor? Are we sorry you hired Russians to work on your campaign? Are we sorry your campaign manager was indicted? Are we sorry the Justice Department isn’t working as your personal protection agency? Are we sorry your fixer is as stupid as he looks?

Personally, I’m sorry I can’t draw Rudy Giuliani every day.

Watch me draw.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

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Spies Like Us


cjones05222018

The priorities for the Trump administration and the entire Republican Party are seriously messed up. When the press reports that a White House staffer dissed Senator and Vietnam veteran John McCain by saying, “he’s dying anyway,” the outrage isn’t directed at the staffer, who still has her job, but at the leaker.

Now it’s reported that the FBI may have had an informant following the moles Russia had in the Trump campaign. Is Trump’s outrage directed toward Russia? Of course not. It’s toward the agency that’s trying to protect our nation from interference from a hostile foreign power.

Trump tweeted, “Wow, word seems to be coming out that the Obama FBI “SPIED ON THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN WITH AN EMBEDDED INFORMANT.” Andrew McCarthy says, “There’s probably no doubt that they had at least one confidential informant in the campaign.” If so, this is bigger than Watergate!”

Trump has to say “Obama’s FBI” so it’ll gin up his base with outrage. But he is right about one thing. If Donald Trump allowed Russian spies into his campaign, it’s bigger than Watergate.

And Trump did allow Russians into his campaign headquarters. When the Russians contacted them claiming they had dirt on Hillary Clinton, did Donald Trump Jr say “no thanks?” Did he report it to the FBI? No. That treasonous trust-fund baby said, “I love it!” If the Trump campaign did not collude with Russia, it’s not for lack of trying.

While the campaign was ongoing, Trump was trying to work out a business deal with Russia. When Trump says he doesn’t have any business with Russia, again, it’s not for lack of trying. And on that issue, he’s probably lying.

While the FBI was secretly following Trump’s Russians around, they announced to the world that they were investigating Hillary Clinton, and then they weren’t, and then they were. The FBI was also leaking information about the investigation into Clinton to Rudy Giuliani, who is now complaining about the bias at the FBI. I’m a cartoonist and even I can’t make this stuff up.

Trump sycophants who parrot his claim of the investigation as a “witch hunt” and “no collusion” don’t stop for a second and ask, but why were there so many people with Russian connections in your campaign? What sort of organization was Trump running that let spies in to sit at the big table with Trump?

Now, Trump, Republicans in Congress, the idiots in conservative media like Breitbart and Sean Hannity, are screaming for the FBI to publicly identify the informant. What happened to protecting sources? Why would they want to give someone up, not just for the conservative base to chew apart, but for Vladimir Putin? People who anger Putin have a tendency to suffer accidents, like falling off buildings and walking face-first into a batch of Russian-made nerve agent.

This is another instance of Republicans putting sycophancy over country. They worship at the altar of a stupid, racist, snake-oil selling conman complicit with Russia, and their love for their deity is stronger than their love for the country.

You know what they say runs downhill. You know who’s on top of that hill. Trump’s leadership has set an example of the corruption rampant throughout his cabinet. His leadership encourages leaks from the White House. And, it was his leadership that invited Russians into his campaign. This is a man who didn’t devote himself entirely to his country while seeking to be its leader, as he was working business deals with Moscow at the same time while also asking for them to hack his opponent’s campaign.

We need to leave the informant alone. Quite frankly, Melania’s been through enough this week.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Butt No Collusion


cjones05092018

Trump lies. According to one count in the media (yeah, fake news), he averages six and a half lies a day. It’s been said that the one person you don’t lie to is your lawyer. But what happens when you not only lie to your lawyers but you ignore their advice and torpedo your own case?

Some lawyers quit, as John Dowd and Ty Cobb have done. There’s talk that White House Counsel Don McGahn wants out and expects the newly hired white-shoe lawyer Emmet Flood to take over. Unfortunately for Mr. Flood, his shoes won’t remain white for long because Trump’s other new lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, is as much of a lying, corrupt, narcissistic dumbass as the client.

Without any consultation with the other members of his legal team, Trump sent Rudy out to tell Sean Hannity that he knew about the payment to Stormy Daniels. He also changed the reasoning Trump fired James Comey, called the FBI “stormtroopers,” and threw Jared under the bus as being disposable.

They were mopping up the next day and Trump excused Rudy’s performance by saying he just started, he’s learning the subject matter, and he’ll get his facts straight. OK. So if he just started and doesn’t know shit then why did you send him out to talk about the subject matter? And why did you send him out again the next day to vomit-puke on Fox & Friends?

Sure, this entire matter is about a porn star Trump slept with before he was president, but when you lie every day, revise your story with another lie, deny your past statements which have been recorded, and send your minions and goons like Giuliani and Sarah Huckabee Sanders to lie, then why should anyone ever believe anything coming out of your administration? How are we supposed to have confidence in your ability to do, well, anything?

Now it has come out that Trump knew about the payment to Stormy Daniels months before he denied it. No shit. You don’t have $130,000 deducted from your bank account and just wonder where it went. According to Rudy, when Trump recently learned what it was for he acted as though a mystery was solved. Most people go nuts with a mystery deduction of ten bucks from their bank account. Even a billionaire, if Trump really is one, would question $130,000. We all know how cheap Trump is. None of the stories coming from Cohen, Trump, Giuliani or any of their other idiots are believable.

To Trump’s new lawyer, and his future new lawyers, have fun. You’re going to need a mop. Also, take one good look at Rudy Giuliani. That’s your future.

Creative notes: I had this idea earlier in the week but put it on hold the night Rudy went on Fox. Yeah, I drew a similar disgusting pose a couple cartoons ago, but I liked this idea too much not to do it. Also, sorry for your eyes.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Dr. Rudy


cjones05072018

If Rudy Giuliani was a doctor, and he was your doctor, that would mean you are going to die. Likewise, if he was your lawyer, you’re going to prison.

Donald Trump does not hire the best and the brightest. He hires lackeys, flunkies, and lick-spittles. He hires people who will tell him what he wants to hear. For example, take his New York doctor.

During the campaign, Dr. Harold Bornstein, who was Trump’s doctor for 36 years, issued a letter stating that if elected Trump would be the “healthiest president ever.” This week, he told the press that Trump had his goons (Yes. Trump has goons) raid his office. He also said that Trump dictated that infamous letter. Apparently, what peeved Trump off was the doc’s disclosure that the president is prescribed Propecia, a hair-loss medication. The doctor doesn’t think it’s a big deal that he gave out that information.

Sure, it’s not a big deal that we know Trump uses medication for his hair loss. You can spot that shit from the space station. What is a big deal is releasing a patient’s medical information and not understanding that you’re not supposed to do that. Remember, Trump hires the best.

But maybe, they go from being the best to ridiculous sycophants. Dr. Ronny Jackson was a very respected doctor for several presidents. Then he gave a report on Trump which sounded like a report from Doctor Crazy Pants in New York. Dr. Jackson said Trump was in excellent health despite his heart disease and with weight a pound under being officially obese. He also said with a better diet that didn’t consist of nothing but Big Macs and KFC, Trump could live to be 200. Did Trump write these statements too? Now, Dr. Jackson has been laughed out of his nomination to lead the Veterans Administration and the Pentagon is considering investigating him for all sorts of shady and sketchy shit.

Rudy Giuliani went from being the best, a federal prosecutor who brought down mobsters to the kind of lawyer you’d swear got his legal training from Green Acres’ Mr. Haney.

Trump lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen has claimed he paid porn star Stormy Daniels $130,000 to remain quiet about sleeping with Donald Trump and that Trump was unaware of the payment. Cohen says he took out a line of credit on his home out of the goodness of his heart and his love for all things Donald and Trump never paid him back. Enter Giuliani.

Lawyers usually tell their clients not to talk so much. They don’t typically go on TV and torpedo your entire defense and expose you as a massive liar. Rudy went on Fox News and told Sean Hannity, another client of Cohen’s, that Trump paid Cohen back the $130,000. Wait. What? I thought Trump didn’t know about it. Trump told us from Air Force One he had no clue what was going on. Now they’re saying he paid Cohen back?

Giuliani also said it wasn’t a campaign violation because the money wasn’t from the campaign. Uh, I’m not a lawyer but I do know that you can commit a campaign finance violation without giving directly to the campaign. If it’s to help the campaign, it’s still a contribution.

Giuliani says the money was paid back in installments, which may be another crime. Rudy even used the word “funneled.” Why would a billionaire pay it back in installments like it was a rent-to-own hooker? If the money was paid back in smaller amounts to avoid tracking, it could be a major felony. I have a question that hasn’t been answered yet. If these payments continued while Trump was president, then it wasn’t just private citizen or president-elect Trump committing a crime, it was President Trump committing a crime. Doesn’t this mean he can be indicted while he’s president? Maybe Robert Mueller has the answer.

When all is said and done, Trump’s going to wish the only thing exposed is that he porked a porn star and cheated on Melania.

What happened to Rudy? He was America’s mayor. He had a stellar legal career. Now I’m surprised he didn’t go on Hannity and release the pee-pee tape.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Trump Love Child


cjones04152018

“Enquiring” minds want to know. Is there a Donald Trump love child out there? A love baby The Donald didn’t want anyone to know about? And it’s not Eric? As Trevor Noah said on his show, every kid in America who doesn’t know his father is panicking right now.

It does sound far-fetched that Trump has a sixth child from a fourth woman, but the FBI is looking into whether the National Enquirer paid a Trump Tower doorman $30,000 not to speak of Trump knocking up one of his maids. Yeah, it sure does sound unbelievable, unless the payment is true. Keep in mind, the National Enquirer, along with the dumbest attorney in America, Michael Cohen, have paid women to keep quiet about shagging Donald. There is a pattern of people being paid hush agreements for stuff that “never happened.”

The National Enquirer, the bastion of journalism Trump says should be a Pulitzer Prize winning newspaper, has a program they call “catch and kill.” This works by buying a story from a source, something actual journalism outlets do not do, and they kill it, as in, they never publish the story. Sheesh. The worst Fox News does is have their talking heads attending weekly dinners with Donald Trump. When Trump says “many people want him to fire Mueller,” “many people” is Sean Hannity.

Why would a newspaper, especially a crappy gossip tabloid conduct a catch-and-release program? They didn’t catch and kill the story about John Edwards being a baby daddy. They didn’t kill the story about Ted Cruz leaving a trail of booty calls across the nation. They didn’t kill the story of Michelle Obama’s secret divorce file. They didn’t kill the story of the Hillary Clinton sex scandal cover-up. They didn’t even kill the story about Hillary only having six months to live, back in 2015. So, why wouldn’t they want to run a story about Donald Trump plowing Playboy Playmates and porn stars? Because, David Pecker, that is his real name, is a Trump supporter (I used to have an editor who I’d refer to as Mr. Pecker, but it wasn’t his actual name).

Trump’s allies are afraid, and they should be. The FBI raid on Cohen’s office, home, and hotel room may have given the feds recordings the attorney made with his clients. How stupid is that? There may be recordings between Cohen and Trump discussing all sorts of illegal and nasty stuff, like “Where should we hide all these rubles?” “Are you sure she was eighteen?” “How much pee was there?”

It’s not necessarily a crime to pay hush money, but it can be if it’s designed to manipulate an election, as in an illegal campaign contribution. There are questions about where the company that owns the National Enquirer is getting their money for these payouts, as the publication has declared bankruptcy twice.

The FBI raid had Trump’s legal team call off negotiations to have the president interviewed by Mueller’s team. Now, Mueller may issue a grand jury subpoena and there’s now reports he’s building a case for obstruction of justice to send to the Deputy Attorney General if Trump doesn’t fire him first. It’s Friday, so anything can happen tonight around 8:00 PM.

Now, who wants to do a count of how many Trump scandals involve a pecker?

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Witch Hunt


cjones04122018

Donald Trump says the Special Counsel’s investigation into his collusion with Russia and obstruction of justice is “the single greatest witch hunt in American history.” The problem with this argument is that it’s turning up a lot of witches.

What else would you expect from an investigation into a person like Donald Trump who ran a family business like a third-rate mafia? He has spent his entire career associating with witches and warlocks who are extremely bad at hiding the fact they’re witches and warlocks.

Michael Avenatti, the attorney for porn star Stormy Daniels who Trump’s lawyer paid to keep quiet that she slept with Trump, expressed shock at the ineptness of the president’s lawyer. Talking to Nicole Wallace on the 11th Hour on MSNBC Tuesday night, he discussed his amazement that Trump got so far ahead in business and public stature while hiring people as stupid as his lawyer, Michael Cohen.

The Russia investigation has been described as Watergate, but with stupid people. The main target is the biggest dumbass of them all.

Mueller’s witch hunt has led to charges against 19 people, five of whom have pled guilty to at least one criminal count. That’s a lot of witches. And the people at the top of the witch hunt, who Trump is blaming are all Republicans.

The Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, who recused himself isn’t just a Republican. He supported and campaigned for Trump. The Special Counsel, Robert Mueller, is a Republican. Andrew McCabe, who Trump fired days before his retirement from the FBI so he couldn’t collect his pension, is a lifelong Republican. Rod Rosenstein, the Deputy Attorney General overseeing the Special Counsel and who Trump is threatening to fire, is a Republican Trump appointed. Geoffrey Berman, the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York which is leading the investigation into Trump’s stupid lawyer, is a Republican, appointed by Trump, who Trump personally interviewed.

It’s really hard to claim they’re out to get you when they’re from your side. What do you expect them to do when everything about you is sketchy?

Trump’s business is connected to Russian oligarchs. His buildings have been used for money laundering by these oligarchs. He ran a scam university. He has a scam charity. Half of his appointments are engaging in corrupt practices from Jared selling access to his EPA chief literally sleeping in a lobbyist’s bed.

There is a better chance of Stormy producing a sex tape of Trump killing porn star ass than there is of Mueller not finding anything on Trump.  Frankly, I’m shocked Cohen wasn’t paying porn stars to say they slept with Trump and that it was amazing.

Soon, I expect federal penitentiaries to contain more witches than Trump Towers.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Raiding The Fixer


cjones04112018

Donald Trump said the raid on his private attorney’s office is an attack on our country and what we all stand for. Apparently, we all stand for money laundering and paying porn stars hush money.

Michael Cohen is less of an attorney and more of a personal fixer. It helps when you have a law license. On Mueller Monday, April 9, the FBI raided Cohen’s office at 30 Rockefeller (yeah, the same building that houses NBC), his home, and hotel room (because he’s been staying in a hotel for a while). This is amazing just for the sheer fact Cohen is Trump’s lawyer. Lawyers and their clients share a privilege of secrecy and confidentiality, but that doesn’t mean a lawyer and his client can be partners in crime.

The FBI was working on behalf of the Southern District of New York, as Mueller’s team passed this case on to them. For investigators to acquire a warrant to raid a lawyer’s office and seize his files, computers, phones, etc, they had to convince a judge there was enough evidence to warrant a crime. The bar for acquiring such a warrant is extremely high, even if the client isn’t the president.

What sort of crimes could we be looking at? There’s the campaign finance violation. Cohen claims he paid off porn star Stormy Daniels out of the goodness of his heart to protect his friend, Donald Trump. Cohen and Trump both claim that Trump was unaware of this payment. But, this payment was days before the presidential election. This was a campaign contribution and it exceeded the maximum amount allowed for an individual, by a lot.

A lawyer is not supposed to make settlements on his client’s behalf without his client’s agreement, and these guys claim Trump didn’t know about it. He also negotiated the thing through his Trump organization email. Trump really does hire the best people. For this shenanigan, Cohen can and should lose his license to practice law.

Cohen says he took out a line of credit on his home for this money, which was never reimbursed by Trump. For him to take out this line of credit he would have to apply for the loan. Did he put “porn star hush payment” on the application? I’m going to bet he did not, and that alone may be bank fraud. Investigators are also looking into wire fraud. Criminals have been purchasing units in Trump’s towers for years for money laundering.

Trump has become unhinged over this raid. Before a meeting with his war advisers, he spoke to the press and referred to it as a “break-in,” when in fact it’s a lawful raid with a warrant. He claimed this was an attack on our nation. He was visibly disturbed as he groused about it with his arms tightly folded together. On the 11th Hour on MSNBC, Republican strategist Steve Schmidt said Trump looked like a dime-store Mussolini.

Trump complained about the people behind this being Obama’s people, that the FBI needed to go after Hillary Clinton, and he attacked his own appointees. He attacked Geoffrey Berman, the U.S. attorney for the office that was handed the case by the Special Counsel. He again criticized Attorney General Jeff Sessions for recusing himself from the Russia investigation and not using his position as Trump’s personal protection service. He attacked the man overseeing the investigation, Rod Rosenstein, and he discussed firing Robert Mueller. What he didn’t mention was the rule of law. He talked about the unfairness of it all, as American society has made life difficult and grueling for white billionaires.

Former U.S. Attorney Joyce White Vance said, “This search warrant is like dropping a bomb on Trump’s front porch.” The FBI just raided the guy who knows all of Trump’s dirtiest secrets. If we know about the porn stars, what else is there that’s worse?

Cohen was the lead negotiator for the Moscow Trump Tower that Trump was working on during his presidential campaign. He even negotiated a $150,000 payment from a Ukrainian oligarch to the Trump Foundation for Trump to speak to a conference in Kiev during the presidential campaign. The Trump Foundation is a scam charity that Trump has used to purchase gifts for himself, to make political donations to a state attorney general in Florida who was looking into Trump University, and to pay Eric Trump’s Boy Scout fee.

The fear now is that Mueller is so close to Trump’s finances and dirty deeds that Trump may fire him. There’s no telling what investigators are going to find in Cohen’s secret stash. Trump has to weigh the fallout versus what Mueller may find. The problem with this is, the investigation into Cohen isn’t being handled by Mueller’s team, though some of it may be handed back to them depending on what’s found.

Trump also can’t fire Michael Avenatti, the lawyer for Stormy Daniels, who won’t stop until he gets Trump into a deposition or a courtroom.

Trump is in trouble. His presidency is the epicenter of the corruption that has consumed his administration. He’s also used it to enrich himself and those close to him. He’s expressed more concern for his special interest than he has for the job he was elected to do. He’s running the presidency as he ran his company, like a family crime business.

The question that remains is; will Trump burn the country down and the rule of law to save his own ass? Unfortunately, precedent points toward his ass. Let’s hope Mueller nails it first.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!