Mueller

Trump Love Child


cjones04152018

“Enquiring” minds want to know. Is there a Donald Trump love child out there? A love baby The Donald didn’t want anyone to know about? And it’s not Eric? As Trevor Noah said on his show, every kid in America who doesn’t know his father is panicking right now.

It does sound far-fetched that Trump has a sixth child from a fourth woman, but the FBI is looking into whether the National Enquirer paid a Trump Tower doorman $30,000 not to speak of Trump knocking up one of his maids. Yeah, it sure does sound unbelievable, unless the payment is true. Keep in mind, the National Enquirer, along with the dumbest attorney in America, Michael Cohen, have paid women to keep quiet about shagging Donald. There is a pattern of people being paid hush agreements for stuff that “never happened.”

The National Enquirer, the bastion of journalism Trump says should be a Pulitzer Prize winning newspaper, has a program they call “catch and kill.” This works by buying a story from a source, something actual journalism outlets do not do, and they kill it, as in, they never publish the story. Sheesh. The worst Fox News does is have their talking heads attending weekly dinners with Donald Trump. When Trump says “many people want him to fire Mueller,” “many people” is Sean Hannity.

Why would a newspaper, especially a crappy gossip tabloid conduct a catch-and-release program? They didn’t catch and kill the story about John Edwards being a baby daddy. They didn’t kill the story about Ted Cruz leaving a trail of booty calls across the nation. They didn’t kill the story of Michelle Obama’s secret divorce file. They didn’t kill the story of the Hillary Clinton sex scandal cover-up. They didn’t even kill the story about Hillary only having six months to live, back in 2015. So, why wouldn’t they want to run a story about Donald Trump plowing Playboy Playmates and porn stars? Because, David Pecker, that is his real name, is a Trump supporter (I used to have an editor who I’d refer to as Mr. Pecker, but it wasn’t his actual name).

Trump’s allies are afraid, and they should be. The FBI raid on Cohen’s office, home, and hotel room may have given the feds recordings the attorney made with his clients. How stupid is that? There may be recordings between Cohen and Trump discussing all sorts of illegal and nasty stuff, like “Where should we hide all these rubles?” “Are you sure she was eighteen?” “How much pee was there?”

It’s not necessarily a crime to pay hush money, but it can be if it’s designed to manipulate an election, as in an illegal campaign contribution. There are questions about where the company that owns the National Enquirer is getting their money for these payouts, as the publication has declared bankruptcy twice.

The FBI raid had Trump’s legal team call off negotiations to have the president interviewed by Mueller’s team. Now, Mueller may issue a grand jury subpoena and there’s now reports he’s building a case for obstruction of justice to send to the Deputy Attorney General if Trump doesn’t fire him first. It’s Friday, so anything can happen tonight around 8:00 PM.

Now, who wants to do a count of how many Trump scandals involve a pecker?

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Advertisements

Witch Hunt


cjones04122018

Donald Trump says the Special Counsel’s investigation into his collusion with Russia and obstruction of justice is “the single greatest witch hunt in American history.” The problem with this argument is that it’s turning up a lot of witches.

What else would you expect from an investigation into a person like Donald Trump who ran a family business like a third-rate mafia? He has spent his entire career associating with witches and warlocks who are extremely bad at hiding the fact they’re witches and warlocks.

Michael Avenatti, the attorney for porn star Stormy Daniels who Trump’s lawyer paid to keep quiet that she slept with Trump, expressed shock at the ineptness of the president’s lawyer. Talking to Nicole Wallace on the 11th Hour on MSNBC Tuesday night, he discussed his amazement that Trump got so far ahead in business and public stature while hiring people as stupid as his lawyer, Michael Cohen.

The Russia investigation has been described as Watergate, but with stupid people. The main target is the biggest dumbass of them all.

Mueller’s witch hunt has led to charges against 19 people, five of whom have pled guilty to at least one criminal count. That’s a lot of witches. And the people at the top of the witch hunt, who Trump is blaming are all Republicans.

The Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, who recused himself isn’t just a Republican. He supported and campaigned for Trump. The Special Counsel, Robert Mueller, is a Republican. Andrew McCabe, who Trump fired days before his retirement from the FBI so he couldn’t collect his pension, is a lifelong Republican. Rod Rosenstein, the Deputy Attorney General overseeing the Special Counsel and who Trump is threatening to fire, is a Republican Trump appointed. Geoffrey Berman, the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York which is leading the investigation into Trump’s stupid lawyer, is a Republican, appointed by Trump, who Trump personally interviewed.

It’s really hard to claim they’re out to get you when they’re from your side. What do you expect them to do when everything about you is sketchy?

Trump’s business is connected to Russian oligarchs. His buildings have been used for money laundering by these oligarchs. He ran a scam university. He has a scam charity. Half of his appointments are engaging in corrupt practices from Jared selling access to his EPA chief literally sleeping in a lobbyist’s bed.

There is a better chance of Stormy producing a sex tape of Trump killing porn star ass than there is of Mueller not finding anything on Trump.  Frankly, I’m shocked Cohen wasn’t paying porn stars to say they slept with Trump and that it was amazing.

Soon, I expect federal penitentiaries to contain more witches than Trump Towers.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Raiding The Fixer


cjones04112018

Donald Trump said the raid on his private attorney’s office is an attack on our country and what we all stand for. Apparently, we all stand for money laundering and paying porn stars hush money.

Michael Cohen is less of an attorney and more of a personal fixer. It helps when you have a law license. On Mueller Monday, April 9, the FBI raided Cohen’s office at 30 Rockefeller (yeah, the same building that houses NBC), his home, and hotel room (because he’s been staying in a hotel for a while). This is amazing just for the sheer fact Cohen is Trump’s lawyer. Lawyers and their clients share a privilege of secrecy and confidentiality, but that doesn’t mean a lawyer and his client can be partners in crime.

The FBI was working on behalf of the Southern District of New York, as Mueller’s team passed this case on to them. For investigators to acquire a warrant to raid a lawyer’s office and seize his files, computers, phones, etc, they had to convince a judge there was enough evidence to warrant a crime. The bar for acquiring such a warrant is extremely high, even if the client isn’t the president.

What sort of crimes could we be looking at? There’s the campaign finance violation. Cohen claims he paid off porn star Stormy Daniels out of the goodness of his heart to protect his friend, Donald Trump. Cohen and Trump both claim that Trump was unaware of this payment. But, this payment was days before the presidential election. This was a campaign contribution and it exceeded the maximum amount allowed for an individual, by a lot.

A lawyer is not supposed to make settlements on his client’s behalf without his client’s agreement, and these guys claim Trump didn’t know about it. He also negotiated the thing through his Trump organization email. Trump really does hire the best people. For this shenanigan, Cohen can and should lose his license to practice law.

Cohen says he took out a line of credit on his home for this money, which was never reimbursed by Trump. For him to take out this line of credit he would have to apply for the loan. Did he put “porn star hush payment” on the application? I’m going to bet he did not, and that alone may be bank fraud. Investigators are also looking into wire fraud. Criminals have been purchasing units in Trump’s towers for years for money laundering.

Trump has become unhinged over this raid. Before a meeting with his war advisers, he spoke to the press and referred to it as a “break-in,” when in fact it’s a lawful raid with a warrant. He claimed this was an attack on our nation. He was visibly disturbed as he groused about it with his arms tightly folded together. On the 11th Hour on MSNBC, Republican strategist Steve Schmidt said Trump looked like a dime-store Mussolini.

Trump complained about the people behind this being Obama’s people, that the FBI needed to go after Hillary Clinton, and he attacked his own appointees. He attacked Geoffrey Berman, the U.S. attorney for the office that was handed the case by the Special Counsel. He again criticized Attorney General Jeff Sessions for recusing himself from the Russia investigation and not using his position as Trump’s personal protection service. He attacked the man overseeing the investigation, Rod Rosenstein, and he discussed firing Robert Mueller. What he didn’t mention was the rule of law. He talked about the unfairness of it all, as American society has made life difficult and grueling for white billionaires.

Former U.S. Attorney Joyce White Vance said, “This search warrant is like dropping a bomb on Trump’s front porch.” The FBI just raided the guy who knows all of Trump’s dirtiest secrets. If we know about the porn stars, what else is there that’s worse?

Cohen was the lead negotiator for the Moscow Trump Tower that Trump was working on during his presidential campaign. He even negotiated a $150,000 payment from a Ukrainian oligarch to the Trump Foundation for Trump to speak to a conference in Kiev during the presidential campaign. The Trump Foundation is a scam charity that Trump has used to purchase gifts for himself, to make political donations to a state attorney general in Florida who was looking into Trump University, and to pay Eric Trump’s Boy Scout fee.

The fear now is that Mueller is so close to Trump’s finances and dirty deeds that Trump may fire him. There’s no telling what investigators are going to find in Cohen’s secret stash. Trump has to weigh the fallout versus what Mueller may find. The problem with this is, the investigation into Cohen isn’t being handled by Mueller’s team, though some of it may be handed back to them depending on what’s found.

Trump also can’t fire Michael Avenatti, the lawyer for Stormy Daniels, who won’t stop until he gets Trump into a deposition or a courtroom.

Trump is in trouble. His presidency is the epicenter of the corruption that has consumed his administration. He’s also used it to enrich himself and those close to him. He’s expressed more concern for his special interest than he has for the job he was elected to do. He’s running the presidency as he ran his company, like a family crime business.

The question that remains is; will Trump burn the country down and the rule of law to save his own ass? Unfortunately, precedent points toward his ass. Let’s hope Mueller nails it first.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Nucken Futz & Associates


cjones03232018

Donald Trump is in serious legal trouble.

He’s being investigated by Robert Mueller, a former head of the FBI and a man who investigated and prosecuted major financial fraud, terrorism and public corruption cases, as well as narcotics conspiracies and international money launderers. He oversaw prosecutions of Manuel Noriega, the Lockerbie bombing case, and the Gambino crime family boss John Gotti. He’s also a Marine veteran who was wounded in Vietnam. Robert Mueller is not playing around.

Mueller has put together a team of the nation’s top lawyers, most of whom are former prosecutors, or still prosecutors on loan from their district offices. These lawyers went after Enron, corrupt union officials and government employees, white-collar criminals, gangsters, terrorists, spies, and money launderers. One of these lawyers was on the Watergate team.

Donald Trump’s defense against this legal dream team are lawyers willing to work for Donald Trump. Trump has a history of not paying his lawyers. He’s a client who doesn’t take his lawyers’ advice and shut up about the investigation. He won’t stop tweeting about the investigation. He’s a man who doesn’t just have a history of lying in public and to the press, he’s been caught lying in court and in depositions. Donald Trump’s word is less credible than that of a porn star.

Donald Trump publicly asked Russia to help him win the election. His son invited Russians inside Trump Tower while Trump was in the tower. Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, and then told the Russians and Lester Holt he fired him to end the investigation. Trump’s public stupidity created the Special Counsel.

Trump tweeted that he fired Michael Flynn for lying to the vice president and the FBI. This tweet implicates that Trump knew Flynn was under investigation by the FBI when he asked James Comey to take it easy on him. That’s obstruction of justice. One of Trump’s personal lawyers, John Dowd, claims he wrote the tweet, which would clear the president. The problem is, nobody believes that. Another problem is the stupidity of sending the tweet. Dowd is representing Trump in the Russia case.

Another one of his personal attorneys is Jay Sekulow who went on Fox News and claimed Trump was not under investigation while also saying Trump was under investigation. He also claimed everything said between Trump and Comey was attorney/client privilege, though Comey is not Trump’s attorney. Isn’t that sort of stuff on the bar exam?

Don McGahn is White House Counsel, and he’s been described as the “worst White House Counsel ever.” He pressured James Comey, before he was fired, to publicly exonerate Trump. He made a failed pitch for Attorney General Jeff Sessions not to recuse himself. He attempted to legally defend the Nunes Memo in the court of public opinion. Maybe worst of all, he oversaw the Rob Porter scandal, where normally the White House Counsel would have nixed hiring a wife beater.

Then there’s Michael Cohen, the lawyer representing Trump in the Stormy Daniels case. Cohen claims he paid off Daniels with his own money and without Trump’s knowledge. He claims the payment isn’t an illegal campaign contribution and it’s not linked to Trump in any way, though all his communication during the payment was with a Trump Organization email address. I’m shocked he hasn’t used the company’s fax machine to send Robert Mueller copies of his butt.

The only competent lawyer on Trump’s team is Ty Cobb, and Trump is about to fire him. Trump and the White House claim they’re not about to fire Cobb, but Trump tweeted ten days ago that he wasn’t going to add any more lawyers to his team. Yesterday, he added another lawyer to his team.

Trump has hired attorney Joseph diGenova, a man who has gone on Fox News and said, “There was a brazen plot to illegally exonerate Hillary Clinton and, if she didn’t win the election, to then frame Donald Trump with a falsely created crime. It wasn’t the Russians who corrupted the presidential election; it was the American officials at the Department of Justice and the FBI.” He capped off his statements with, “I would consider this the largest law enforcement scandal in history for this reason.”

Trump, who spent years claiming Obama was born in Kenya, loves a good conspiracy theory. He also loves to hire people from TV. The fourth-highest ranking member of the State Department came directly from Fox & Friends (I shit you not). And, diGenova fits the bill, as he’s a conspiracy theorist who goes on TV.

During the presidential campaign, diGenova claimed the FBI would charge Hillary Clinton, and she’d be unqualified to run for president. He also hawked conspiracy theories on Benghazi.

Trump attempted to hire a legal heavyweight in Theodore Olson, a former solicitor general. Proof of Olson being a smart and capable lawyer is the fact that when offered a job representing Donald Trump, he said nope, nope, nope, nope, no, hell no, forget about it, and no thank you. Early in the investigation, lawyers all over D.C. were talking about turning down Trump.

Trump is in serious trouble and I haven’t decided if his undoing will be his mouth or his penis. But, though I’m not a lawyer, I do have some great legal advice for Trump.

Just keep tweeting and talking. Tweet, talk, tweet, talk, talk, tweet, and everything will work out fine. OK, that’s great advice that will help out the nation. Trump, not so much. But, it will be good for America.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button. Thank you!

Thirteen Russians


cjones02192018

If there’s one thing we should all be sure of, Hillary Clinton was the best presidential candidate because Vladimir Putin wanted us to elect Donald Trump.

On Friday, Special Counsel Robert Mueller indicted thirteen Russians. Donald Trump FINALLY admitted Russia meddled in our election in a statement that was focused, surprise, entirely on himself. Trump believes the indictments are vindication that there was no collusion with his campaign. No, it doesn’t. Mueller isn’t done. What the details of the indictments do confirm is that Donald Trump would not be president without the help of Vladimir Putin and Russian meddlers. It’s time to ditch the idea that Russia had no effect on the outcome of our election.

The Russians didn’t just post a few memes with outrageous conspiracy theories for your gullible right-wing friends to share on Facebook. They ran a third presidential campaign. While the campaign was designed to make the worst human being possible the president of the United States, its higher objective was to derail Hillary Clinton and throw our government into chaos. Part of that strategy was to support, not just Trump, but Bernie Sanders and Jill Stein.

Trump’s margin of victory in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Michigan was smaller than the votes Stein received in each of those states. Russians focused on those states by purchasing pro-Stein ads on Facebook. Trump would not have won the presidency without Stein’s performance.

Jill Stein is not the spoiler or scapegoat. It’s Vladimir Putin.

The Russians posed as Americans to coordinate and infiltrate political activities. They organized grassroots rallies. They paid for a cage large enough to hold an actress impersonating Clinton in a prison uniform. They stoked racial tensions and sowed social discord. They had a troll farm with a budget of over $1 million a month.

Trump has spent over a year denying the Russians meddled in our election, and he’s called it “fake news” and a hoax. This was not a hoax.

Trump has done nothing to punish Russia and his inaction has only encouraged them to continue their attacks on our nation. He has never convened a Cabinet-level meeting on Russian interference and has even refused to enact sanctions on Russia passed by Congress that he himself signed. During the transition period, Obama leveled sanctions against Russia and seized two of their compounds in the U.S. Trump’s people were telling the Russians not to retaliate because the new president would take care of it.

Vladimir Putin wanted Donald Trump to be our president. Putin does not want what’s best for the United States. No American should want our president to be the person Putin picks. Our president is a Russian troll, and he has proved Clinton right. He’s Putin’s puppet.

Right-wing fanatics always claimed Obama is a traitor, hated America and sought to destroy it. How ironic they’ve given us a president who actually fits that description.

One of the most damning aspects of this indictment is the revelation (though many of us already knew) that Russians recruited Americans to help them subvert our Democracy. They had Americans help spread propaganda, “fake news,” and conspiracy theories. They coordinated with members of the Trump campaign (which we’ll be hearing more about in the future from the Special Counsel). They even paid Americans to dress as Hillary Clinton in prison garb at rallies.

Turn on the TV and you’ll see and hear conservatives echo Trump’s talking points of no collusion or that the dossier is fake and evidence of Clinton’s collusion with Russia. Go to social media and you’ll see posts by idiots echoing the same points. Look at Congress and you’ll see Republicans writing fake memos in order to subvert Mueller’s investigation. Talk to your crazy uncle and he’s talking about Hillary’s Russian uranium deal.

The Russian’s attack against our nation isn’t over and it continues today. What is also continuing is that many Americans are still helping them.

Here’s the video. 

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Future Model Prisoner Maybe


cjones02032018

Yeah, I’m a jerk.

To be a Trump sycophant one must shred their dignity, soul, respectability, credibility, decency, and perhaps all traces of what’s left of their humanity. Reason and logic are pretty much out of the question too. In return, you may acquire a nice orange jumpsuit.

When the first drips would come out about Trump’s attempts to obstruct justice, his defenders would argue that he was new at the job and didn’t know better. Some are still using that defense. I understand that every president has to learn on the job, but they usually have some basic knowledge of how it works, or at least what’s legal and illegal. Also, defending Trump with the argument that he doesn’t know what he’s doing, and he’s a dumbass takes away every reason for putting the guy in the office. Sure, he proved he was a bumbling racist idiot on the campaign trail, but the argument was he’s a genius and he’s the only one who could do the job.

That argument has also been used for others in the administration, like Jared Kushner when he lied about meeting with Russians and had to resubmit his application for a security clearance, and then again, and then again, and then again. He doesn’t have any experience and doesn’t know better to stop breaking the law, but he’s going to bring peace to the Middle East.

Now, some people are using this argument to defend Hope Hicks. The argument may actually apply in this case. It’s very believable from Ms. Hick’s background that she doesn’t have a clue or any good reason to be working in the White House, other than Trump finding her pretty.

Wednesday evening, I posted on social media, “I don’t really want to demean or stereotype any profession, but maybe…just maybe, you shouldn’t hire models as White House Communications Directors or conspire with them to obstruct justice. There’s gotta be more qualified people for that.” Nixon had very experienced people and it still didn’t work out for him. Of course, Nixon didn’t have a Republican sycophant Congress either.

Do you remember that meeting in Trump Tower between Don Jr., Jared, Paul Manafort and Russian spies? When it leaked out, Trump was in Germany and on his way home back to Washington. He and his staff put together a bullshit excuse on Air Force One for The New York Times who broke the story and sent fourteen questions to the White House. Instead of telling the truth that the meeting was about the Russians providing dirt on Hillary Clinton, the Trump stupids concocted a bogus story about Russian adoptions.

Special Counsel Robert Mueller has become very interested in this statement and the meetings around it. His team has told the White House that this is one of about a dozen topics they want to question Donald Trump about. If Scooby Doo had been a part of these meetings, he’d be saying “ruh-roh” right about now.

If you’re thinking, “gosh. It’s not a crime to lie to the media or the public,” you’re right. It’s not a crime, though it should be. It would be justice if someone went to jail for lying to me about stealing my Oreos. But it’s not. But, what is a crime is obstructing justice, which may have occurred during these meetings around the bogus statement. Also, let’s not forget that collusion thing which Trump was trying to hide.

Mark Corallo served as the spokesperson for Trump’s legal team. He was involved in a few of these meetings, and he abruptly quit last July. Mueller wants to talk to him. According to sources, Corallo plans to tell Mueller about a conference call between him, Trump, and Hope Hicks.

Corallo plans to tell investigators that the emails Don Jr. traded with his Russian contacts and other campaign members were a focus of this conference call. He’s going to tell them that Hicks said the emails “will never get out.” Corallo was concerned Hicks was contemplating obstructing justice, and he provided these details contemporaneously to three colleagues who later gave it to The Times.

If you’re a Trump supporter, you’re probably thinking “what’s ‘contemporaneously’ mean?” That means “existing, occurring, or originating during the same time.” If you Google it, a picture of James Comey shows up. It means Corallo told three of his colleagues these details while they were happening. It lends credibility.

Corallo told his colleagues that Hicks was being naive or was suggesting that the emails could be withheld from investigators. Another huge concern was that Hicks said this in the presence of Trump without a lawyer present. That means nobody can claim attorney-client privilege. Ruh-roh. If there’s an orange shitgibbon/former model privilege, it doesn’t have any protection in court. That privilege may be in Fire and Fury.

Hope Hicks will eventually testify to Mueller and probably to Congress. She has issued a conflicting story to Corallo’s. I hope she’s schooled enough to know what happens when you lie to the FBI. Lying to Congress is illegal too, but this Congress full of Republican sycophants assisting the president’s obstruction can’t be taken seriously. She better take Robert Mueller seriously. He’s not playing. Ask Paul Manafort, George Papadopoulos, or Michael Flynn. Ruh-roh.

I’m going to make a bold prediction: Hope Hicks is either going to jail or striking a plea bargain. Hell, she may be wearing a wire right now. Did I just make the White House paranoid? Sorry…not really. I think I’ll tweet that to Trump later today.

Jared, Ivanka, Hope Hicks, Kellyanne Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, etc. There are too many people in this White House who don’t belong there. That includes Donald Trump

Creative notes: Yes, this cartoon is mean and unfair. Cartoonists always argue that we shouldn’t make fun of people’s physical appearances. I have rules about that too, but I’ll throw ’em out the window if it makes me laugh.

But, every time we draw a cartoon we’re making fun of someone’s appearance.

A few months after I started working at The Free Lance-Star in 1998, I drew a cartoon about the city council. One of the members was a heavy-set guy. My editor actually screamed at me and said: “at this newspaper, we don’t make fun of how people look.” My response was, “then why do you have a cartoonist?” That was not a smart response on my part because you should never make your editor think about whether they need you or not.

After Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor of California, I was having a discussion with other cartoonists and one argued that we shouldn’t make fun of his accent. I still think that’s way too P.C. and one of the dumbest arguments I’ve ever heard. It came from a smart guy I respect too. But, an accent is almost physical. It’s definitely part of the personality. It’s not an insult to make fun of it. If it’s there, then it’s there. Sometimes when we draw people we’re not just drawing their physical appearance, we’re also drawing their personality.

So, yeah. I made fun of Sanders’ looks. I’m also making fun of how ridiculous she is. If you don’t want to be made fun of, then don’t say dumb things. Maybe stop lying all the time too.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Groundhog Day…Again


cjones01282018

I’ve heard several political pundits compare the Trump era to Groundhog Day. Not the day when a rodent pops out of a hole and predicts weather. They’re comparing it to the great Bill Murray/Harold Ramis movie, Groundhog Day.

Released in 1993, Bill Murray is an egotistical weatherman stuck indefinitely in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania on Groundhog Day, where the day’s events keep repeating on a loop until the end of time or until Bill learns not to be such an asshole.

This is kind of where we are with the Trump administration. Every day repeats something extremely stupid that we’ll be forced to repeat over and over until Donald Trump learns not to be such an asshole or Robert Mueller sends him to federal prison. My money is on prison. It’s more annoying than having to wake up to “I Got You, Babe” every single morning.

Think about it. Does it feel like it’s only been a year since Trump gave his “American Carnage” speech and Sean Spicer chewed out the media for accurately reporting crowd sizes? How can one person accuse Obama of wiretapping him, defend Nazis, endorse pedophiles, and accuse an entire continent of being a shithole in a span of one year? I didn’t think it was possible for one person to tell over 2,000 lies in one year. And, you would think the guy would stop talking about Hillary Clinton after 365 days, but of course not. At some point he’s going to start writing country songs about her.

Late last night, the usual time for breaking Trump stupidity, The New York Times reported that Trump tried to fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller last June. The only thing that stopped him was White House Counsel Don McGahn’s refusal and threat to quit if Muller was fired.

Being that they’re all chickenshits, Trump didn’t want to do the firing himself and McGahn didn’t want to refuse to Trump’s face. They each used surrogates, with McGahn being Trump’s. If McGahn didn’t do it to Trump’s face that means he used someone like Reince Priebus or Steve Bannon, which further makes them witnesses to an obstruction of justice. Ya’ll all going to prison.

Apparently, Trump cited three conflicts of interest for Mueller as the reasons for wanting him fired. None of them were good reasons. They were, he once worked at a law firm that represented Jared Kushner, he interviewed to return as the director of the FBI the day before he was appointed as the Special Counsel, and finally, he was a member of one of Trump’s golf clubs and had a dispute over membership fees.

Of course, Trump denies this happened which means it happened. Trump has complained daily about the Special Counsel, the FBI, the Justice Department, and has stated that any investigation looking into his finances will be going too far. Last June was also when the Special Counsel was just kicking in and hiring lawyers with experience in Watergate and Enron. Mueller didn’t hire any reality TV lawyers. Trump is in the deep end and he doesn’t even know how to dog paddle.

One of the many things I find amusing is that Trump’s lawyers are working overtime to prevent him from testifying to Mueller, despite their claims that Trump is a political genius.

Equally amusing is this notion that McGahn is somehow the hero of the White House protecting our nation from Trump fuckery. No, he’s not. This is the same guy who asked Sally Yates, after she warned them about Michael Flynn’s lying to the FBI, “why would the Justice Department care?” There’s also one other little nugget about Don McGahn people are overlooking. He works for Donald Trump.

Sure, he may have done what he thought was best for the nation in refusing to order the Justice Department to fire Mueller. He may have been protecting the president, White House, and Justice Department from the shit storm. Maybe he just didn’t wanna hear Kellyanne Conway defending it on TV. Or, maybe he doesn’t want to go to prison.

If Trump goes to prison, he’s not going alone. Maybe it’s something that’s not obvious to each Trump sycophant, but when Trump asks/tells them to do something, he may be asking them to jump on a grenade for him. I know these idiots worship Trump, but do they love him enough to serve time?

Also, maybe McGahn was looking for a reason to quit. He’s a lawyer who has had to hire a lawyer over Trump Fuckery and the Mueller Investigation. Who really wants a job that requires you to hire a lawyer so you don’t go to jail?

Creative notes: I had another subject mapped out in my head when this news hit. But I wanted to be one of the first to cover the story, so I pushed it aside. That also presented a problem as I had just drawn Trump in prison and inserted one of his lawyers in the cartoon. I really wanted to do something different since I was doing two cartoons in a row on the same subject.

This cartoon isn’t my normal style. It seems like something other cartoonists would think of. I like to shoot for weirder ideas. Also, I’ve drawn very few cartoons on Groundhog Day throughout my career. Part of that is, I hate holiday cartoons and cliches. Another big reason I’ve drawn so few is that Groundhog Day always sneaks up on me. Usually I’m not even aware of Groundhog Day until it is Groundhog Day. I refuse to draw a holiday cartoon that is published after the holiday (though that doesn’t stop some publishers from publishing them after).

This cartoon puts more emphasis on humor than a strong comment on Trump’s obstruction of justice. Something tells me I’ll have more opportunities.

Other creative note: I really wanted to make Phil flipping him off, but you know…newspapers.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude