Creeping With Roy


There’s a saying in Southern politics I’m sure you’ve heard before. It goes something like, “the only thing worse than getting caught with a dead girl is a live boy.” Though kinda tasteless, it’s funny because it’s true.

Alabama just may show us how true it is because, between the choice of Not A Republican and Pedophile, Republican voters have to think it over.

Senator John McCain is the only elected Republican I have heard so far stand up for what is right. He said Roy Moore should step down as a candidate for the Alabama Senate seat after accusations were revealed by The Washington Post that he sexually assaulted a 14-year-old minor, and dated other under-age girls, ages ranging from 16-18 while he was in his early 30s.

Other Republicans have said he should step down IF the accusations prove to be true. Donald Trump, who is on tape boasting about sexually assaulting women and who didn’t need anything more than an accusation to determine Harvey Weinstein is guilty of sexual assault, joined his colleagues in the “IF” department. A statement from the White House said, “we cannot allow a mere allegation, in this case one from many years ago, to destroy a person’s life.”

The four women, who don’t know each other, have gone on the record with their claims backed by 30 sources. Yet, Moore is refusing to step down and blamed the Democratic Party, The Post, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama.

Moore is an insane person (being gay should be illegal, Muslims can’t serve in Congress, birther, etc.) that mainstream Republicans don’t even like, which means Ted Cruz loves him. But, they’d still rather be associated in the Senate with a pedophile than a Democrat.

As allegations of impropriety, assault, and even rape emerge, the outrage people express often depends upon their politics. Many will demand justice for one perpetrator while remaining silent about another. It’s a disgusting place we’ve come to when we allow our partisanship not just to make us liars, but also terrible human beings.

Breitbart, an inviting outlet for horrible and revolting people, is defending Moore. He has other defenders within the Republican Party. John Skipper, a former chair of the Mobile County Republican Party, declared the allegations “total contrived media garbage.” Jim Zeigler, the state auditor said, “single man, early 30s, never been married, dating teenage girls,” as if it wasn’t a big deal. Zeigler also said, “take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus.” Not only will some Republicans stick up for pedophiles, they’ll use their religion to defend them.

Steve Bannon, former campaign manager and senior adviser to Trump and head of Breitbart is a staunch supporter of Moore’s. Steven Law, the head of a McConnell-aligned “super PAC” excoriated Breitbart for “defending ‘consensual’ sex between a 32-year-old and a 16-year-old.”

A former aide to Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Josh Holmes said, “This is what happens when you let reckless, incompetent idiots like Steve Bannon go out and recruit candidates who have absolutely no business running for the U.S. Senate.”

It shouldn’t be difficult to disagree with Mr. Holmes, no matter which political side you’re on. Pedophilia may be the most horrible thing a person can inflict upon another. Child abuse should never be tolerated. But, this is what many Republicans have reduced themselves to, defending pedophiles. What’s next? A statue of Dennis Hastert?

The actions of Republicans and evangelicals are never as strong as their words. While demanding wholesome candidates with family values, they strongly support the likes of Donald Trump, who brags about assaulting women and barging in on teenage girls while they’re changing into swimwear. Alabama, a state where Trump is actually still popular, went big for the guy in 2016.

Last Tuesday, the women’s march turned out candidates who sent several Republican incumbent males packing in Virginia. Even gerrymandering couldn’t save those guys. I know Alabama isn’t as enlightened or as progressive as Virginia, but hopefully, women in that state won’t send a guy to the United States Senate that they wouldn’t want around their teenage daughters. Personally, I wouldn’t let the guy dog sit.

Alabama votes in 30 days for their new Senator. I hope they’ll do the right thing and elect Doug Jones, a man whose involvement with underage girls is prosecuting the Ku Klux Klan for killing four of them.

On one hand, you have a man who put away murdering racists. On the other hand, you have a guy who groped and dated underage teenage girls.

Don’t tell me you have to think about it.

Creative note: I drew this same escalator scene last year on October 26. I didn’t look at it until I was done drawing this one. I thought I was changing the angle a bit, but nope. They’re pretty much the same.

I had another idea on this subject but I felt this was funnier. Then, I received a visitor at 4:00 AM who told me I picked the right cartoon.

I had a girl visit me in my bedroom at 4:00 AM bringing batteries. Sounds dirty, right? Yeah, go me. Actually, she was coming over to see her boyfriend who is not me, and she brought me batteries for my new wireless mouse…which is awesome. It’s my first wireless mouse. I’m turning into an old guy who can be slow with techie stuff. Hell, I’m so old I remember when defending the United States from Russians was a part of the Republican platform.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.


  1. As a 71 year old woman who spent her childhood trying to dodge several uncles and a grandfather who had dirty business on their minds, I have deep scars, a deep distrust of mens’ motives and VERY strong feelings concerning creatures like Moore. It always seems to be the ones who are obsessed with religion who are the worst offenders, as though they are trying to compensate for the evil inside of them by presenting the opposite picture to the world.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You’re so right Pollie. They say pedophiles are charming and likable; I don’t see that in Moore’s case at all; but I’m not religious or a Republican.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. In a slightly different field, Frederick Douglass said that the most cruel slave owners were the most religious ones, who thought that everything they did was justified in the Bible.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Absolutely – in some beliefs, Mary is ever-virgin. Plus, God selected both Mary (via angel) and Joseph (via angel in a dream as Joseph intended to “quietly divorce” her) to be the parents of Jesus. Since he’s denying it ever happened, I don’t imagine Moore will be claiming he under divine guidance.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. If Pedophilia doesn’t work, how about Good Old Fashioned Christian CORRUPTION?

    Undisclosed deal guaranteed Roy Moore $180,000 a year for part-time work at charity
    By Shawn Boburg, Robert O’Harrow Jr.
    October 11, 2017 at 11:55 AM
    “Former Alabama judge Roy Moore, a Republican candidate for U.S. Senate, once said publicly that he did not take a “regular salary” from the small charity he founded to promote Christian values because he did not want to be a financial burden.

    But privately, Moore had arranged to receive a salary of $180,000 a year for part-time work at the Foundation for Moral Law, internal charity documents show. He collected more than $1 million as president from 2007 to 2012, compensation that far surpassed what the group disclosed in its public tax filings most of those years.”

    As Jimmy Stewart said in “Fool’s Parade”: 
    “God uses the good ones, and the bad ones use God “.  
    I have previously misquoted this as: 
    “God uses the good people; the bad people use God.” 
    (I guess I like my version better, since that is the way I remembered it). 

    Liked by 1 person

  3. McCain HAS been a hero in the past, but little problems like:
    Keating 5
    Gang of 14
    HRC ” my favorite democrat”
    Killing ACA repeal
    Falsely accusing Judge Moore out of spite after falsely accusing President Trump out of spite w/ fake dossier eem to tarnish his past heroism.


  4. Actually, a woman coming & bringing you batteries at 4am sounds amazingly geeky & sweet. But, maybe I’ve gotten too old & lost the mentality of a 14-year-old boy. LOL

    Let’s not forget that a young woman accused Trump of raping her when she was 12 to 13 years old, & she only dropped the case after receiving death threats from his rabid mob of sycophants. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

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