Roy Moore

Alabama Resists


cjones12152017

The headline writers at The New York Post and The Daily News both went with front pages featuring Star Wars and telling Alabama Senatorial candidate and accused pedophile Roy Moore to “F off” on the horse he rode in on. I don’t think that’s very nice, because why take it out on the horse? Hasn’t that beast been through enough abuse? She’s already had to gallop with Moore’s ass on her, who doesn’t know how to ride, and been stuck with the name “Sassy.” Nobody wants to be a Sassy.

Before the state elections in Virginia last month, many people predicted the Republicans would win while others believed it was too close to call. We were surprised when the Democrats won by such huge margins. Alabama’s special election for the Senate seat vacated by Jeff Sessions also had people afraid to make predictions. The result isn’t as surprising as much as it’s a political earthquake.

Democrat Doug Jones beat Moore by less than two percentage points. While it may be discouraging that 48% of voters would rather vote for a pedophile than a Democrat, and nearly two percent more chose to write in a candidate, this is still Alabama.

It’s been pointed out that Jones did far better in Alabama than Hillary Clinton did in 2016. But, it’s not really amazing that a white Democrat, or any white guy, would do better in Alabama than Hillary Clinton. What is truly impressive is that Jones did better in Alabama than Barack Obama did in 2008 and 2012. Keep in mind, this was a special election where turnouts are usually lower. What is also surprising is that Moore, a guy who said we should do away with the 16th Amendment which ended slavery, received four percent of the black vote.

This is a state where Trump won by nearly 30%. In each election since 2016, the Republican results have been less than Trump’s from November 2016, but this is still Alabama. This is where Trump’s approval, though it’s been decreasing, is the highest in the nation.

Trump endorsed the pedophile. Trump made robocalls for the pedophile. Trump campaigned for the pedophile. Maybe voters weren’t rejecting Trump as much as they ignored him…but Trump failed to bring home a win. This is a defeat for Trump, though Republicans in the Senate should be breathing a sigh of relief despite losing a seat and their margin of majority thinning. They won’t be “saddled” by Roy Moore for the next three years.

Trump tweeted out a congratulatory message to Jones, which IS one tweet we can actually believe his lawyer wrote. There was punctuation. But, Trump is going to blame someone else. He blamed others when the GOP lost in Virginia. There’s talk of Trump firing his political director, Bill Stepien, despite that guy advising Trump not to endorse the pedophile. One probably doesn’t need a degree in political science to dish out that sort of advice. Even Ivanka, who’s not an intellectual heavyweight, told Daddy to stay away from Moore.

Perhaps the best advice for Trump is to stop listening to Steve Bannon. Bannon, a guy who has worked in Hollywood and Goldman Sachs, went to Alabama and told them not to let people from outside the state tell them who to vote for. Apparently, they took his advice. In multiple appearances in Alabama, Bannon criticized Mitt Romney and his sons for not serving in the military (ignoring that none of the Trumps have served), said Joe Scarborough, who went to the University of Alabama, wasn’t smart enough to go to Harvard, and even insulted Ivanka Trump.

Ivanka said there was a special place in Hell for people who abuse children. Bannon said the same about Republicans who wouldn’t support Moore. In Bannon’s world, establishment Republicans are more evil than pedophiles. That’s the type of guy you don’t want political advice from. Though, I’m sure Democrats hope Bannon keeps running candidates in GOP primaries. It’s working out for the Democrats.

If Democrats can win in Alabama, even against a horrible candidate, they can win in 2018 in places like Arizona. The problem for the GOP is they’re still “saddled” with a guy nobody wants to be seen in public with.

Doug Jones may not last longer than 2020, but Alabama still moved forward. It’s good for Alabama, for the nation, and for the members of my family who live there.

Hopefully, in the future Roy Moore will stay away from elections, the United States Senate, malls, children, and stay off horses. From the looks of it, horses don’t like him either.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Red Carpet Treatment


cjones12122017

I hate to see Al Franken resign from the United States Senate.

Franken is a champion for progressive causes and his voice is needed in the Senate, and especially on the Judiciary Committee. He’s the Senator asking questions Trump nominees don’t want to answer. Ask Jeff Sessions about his perjury. Franken has an analytical mind, which probably comes from being a writer of comedy. Humorists are good at catching irony and hypocrisy. They see holes where others don’t. You have to be smart to be a good comedic writer. You don’t have to be smart to be a Senator….or a president. At least not anymore.

During the speech announcing his resignation, Franken noted the irony of him leaving office while a man who boasted about sexual assault sits in the Oval Office and another who preyed on teenage girls is running for the Senate in Alabama.

Did I mention irony? Conservatives don’t see irony. They don’t see it in Donald Trump holding a campaign rally Friday night for a racist pedophile where he complained about protesters, and on Saturday night he’ll be attending a ceremony at a Civil Rights museum in Jackson, Mississippi. Irony.

I have heard a few Republicans complain liberals will use Franken’s resignation to occupy the moral high ground. Yes. Yes, we will.

While the Speaker of the House urged Republican Congressman Trent Franks to resign after he offered $5 million to staffers to carry his baby, by way of him sticking his little frank in them, Blake Farenthold hasn’t said anything about resigning.

Farenthold is a Republican who looks terrible in pajamas, and he used taxpayer dollars to pay off sexual harassment complaints, just like Democrat John Conyers, who is resigning. Farenthold is a member of the Tea Party. Do you remember the Tea Party’s chief concern? It was government spending. I haven’t heard too many of them scream for pajama boy’s head for spending $84,000 of their money on a sexual harassment complaint.

Franken and Conyers are out. The GOP has kicked Franks to the curb but Farenthold hangs on. During all this, the Republican president is campaigning for a racist, stupid, law-breaking pedophile and the RNC is contributing to his campaign.  The president says we can’t have another Democrat in the Senate, and he needs Roy Moore to pass his agenda.

If you need the vote from a racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, xenophobic, conspiracy chasing, banned from malls, law-breaking judge who’s also a pedophile to pass your agenda…there’s probably something wrong with your agenda.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Hate Easy As Cake


cjones12072017

What is wrong with Republicans when a cake made for a gay wedding is more disturbing than sending a pedophile to the United States Senate? If you believe creating a cake for a gay wedding is endorsing gay marriage, then what are you endorsing by electing a pedophile? What sort of values do you actually have?

The Supreme Court will decide if a Colorado baker has the right to discriminate against gay couples by refusing to make cakes for their weddings. Here’s a question I have for bakers who don’t want to create cakes for gay weddings. Have you ever refused to make a cake for anyone before this?  Has a Pagan wedding ever had this problem? What if you want a Snoopy on your birthday cake but the baker’s a cat person? Don’t get me started on cupcakes.

I’m about to lay down a stereotype, but has a gay wedding planner ever refused a heterosexual marriage because he felt doing so would be endorsing their marriage?

You would think it’s not a big deal, and it doesn’t sound like it. It’s very petty for the baker to refuse service because he’s homophobic. And, you’d think the couple would find another bakery. But, if the baker can discriminate then what’s next? Can a grocery store discriminate? How about refusing a gym membership, or any other services? This is a fight worth having, even if it seems it’s only over cake.

If I was a baker, I don’t think I’d care. I might draw the line at a Swastika, but if I had paying customers then I’d put a Confederate flag on the cake if that’s what they wanted. Enjoy your hillbilly wedding.

The hate really has to be strong to let it come between you and capitalism. It would seem if you’re in the wedding business, then gay weddings would provide you more business. It’s kind of a “d’uh” thing. D’uh!!!! I don’t reject conservative newspapers when they want to buy my cartoons. Yeah. There’s a couple.

You evangelicals need to put your scripture where your mouth is. If nothing else, it’ll keep your mouths off the little girls.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Creeper’s Endorsement


cjones12062017

Many Republicans couldn’t stand to see President Barack Obama in the White House and fly in Air Force One. It insulted their senses. I can relate somewhat because I am disgusted by Donald Trump occupying the Oval Office and using the first plane. The difference between my repulsion and theirs is that mine isn’t based on race. I don’t care that Trump is orange. The other difference is that it’s not just about his occupation. It’s what he’s doing and what he is.

If Donald Trump was not the President of the United States of America, he’d just be your run-of-the-mill disgusting billionaire. But, since he is president we have this disgusting human being who can reverse positive changes set by his predecessors. He can pardon criminals because it makes his racist base feel good. He can appoint judges to life-long positions who have never tried a case. He can remove protections from national parks because some rich bastards seek to destroy the land for coal.

What’s really disgusting is that what’s reprehensible about Trump was overlooked, ignored, or celebrated by the people who voted for him. Hillary Clinton got in trouble for calling his supporters deplorable. But, make no mistake about it. They’re deplorable and I won’t apologize for saying it.

This president, who has deflected and defended Nazis, has now officially endorsed an accused pedophile. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that Mr. Pussy Grabber, who claims they let you do whatever you want when you’re famous, who has boasted about barging into dressing rooms of teenage beauty pageants, and has his own accusers in the double digits would endorse an accused pedophile. But, it’s alarming that the Republican establishment has sacrificed anything that used to resemble principles to follow Trump’s lead. The Republican majority leader, who threatened to expel Moore if he won, and the Republican National Committee are now supporting the guy. So much for the party of family values. As it turns out, they were just pretending to care about that values stuff, kinda like how they really feel about deficits and government spending.

Apparently, if you’re a vote to give billionaires tax breaks then you’re allowed to grope little girls.

According to Roy Moore, the Republican candidate in Alabama for the United States Senate who is accused of stalking, dating, and sexually assaulting teenage girls, Trump called him on Monday and said, “go get em, Roy.” That’s not something I’d say to an accused pedophile.

Like Trump, Roy Moore was unqualified for office before the sexual accusations came out. He’s an idiot who doesn’t understand the issues and a religious zealot who was kicked off the state Supreme Court…TWICE.

People say this is the new normal. Others say this isn’t really us. I’m not sure about that anymore. Mitch McConnell is willing to let it become him. Orrin Hatch gladly accepted Trump’s endorsement yesterday, hours after Trump endorsed the pedophile. The ball is in Alabama’s court. Is this Alabama?

To Democrats, Independents, and anyone left in that state with a conscience, I’ll repeat Trump’s words. On election day, “go get ’em.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Stranger Danger


cjones11232017

The three largest newspapers in Alabama are pleading with the state’s voters not to send Roy Moore to the United States Senate. The Birmingham News, The Mobile Press-Register, and The Huntsville Times (all owned by Alabama Media Group) don’t want the voters to embarrass Alabama.

While we’re wondering how so many people can defend and choose a suspected pedophile over a man who has prosecuted members of the KKK for killing children, let me remind you that this is not new territory.

In 2016 our choices were the most qualified person to ever run for the office of President of the United States and a man who didn’t exhibit any qualifications, knowledge, or capability for the job, and only displayed childish, immature, stupid, racist, and narcissistic tendencies, while spreading conspiracy theories and lies. It not only amazed me that people could be undecided in the days leading up to the election, but on Election Day, many voters chose the stupid candidate and put him in the White House.

Voters polled before the election gave Trump higher marks in honesty than Clinton despite the fact checkers grading over 90 percent of Trump statements as lies. I underestimated the stupidity and pettiness of the American voter. I don’t think we should underestimate it in Alabama.

Roy Moore’s defenders believe there’s a conspiracy against him. They “know” The Washington Post paid women to accuse him of sexual transgressions, one committed against a 14-year-old. They think the Democrats and the Republican establishment are after him.

One defender compared his actions to Joseph being with Mary because Joseph is supposedly older according to their mythology. While arguing he never committed any of the acts he’s accused of, his supporters find ways to justify them. And, then there are those who believe the accusations and still support him.

For Alabama Republicans, being a Democrat and believing in the separation of church and state and the U.S. Constitution is a greater sin than pedophilia. The governor said she believes Moore’s accusers, but she plans to vote for him anyway.

Last week, White House goon Kellyanne Conway said, “there is no Senate seat worth more than a child.” Now, it seems she’s had a change of heart and there is one Senate seat worth more than a child.

The White House and Trump have been very cowardly regarding Moore. Trump was wrong once in his endorsement for Alabama’s Senate seat and he doesn’t want to be wrong again. He’s afraid of upsetting his base, and in Alabama, his polls are extremely high. His supporters might be stupid, but he doesn’t want to lose them.

The White House has been trotting out the argument that Alabama voters need to select their next Senator. They don’t want to explicitly endorse a pedophile, but they also don’t want to discourage people from sending him to Washington.

Yesterday, Conway made comments on Fox & Friends that left even those nitwits confused. They weren’t sure if they should jump on the Moore bandwagon or what. Their directives from the White House are normally much clearer, and they’re not good with subtle hints.

Conway was arguing against Doug Jones, the Democrat facing Moore for the Senate seat. Conway said, “and Doug Jones in Alabama? Folks, don’t be fooled. He’ll be a vote against tax cuts. He’s weak on crime, weak on borders. He’s strong on raising your taxes. He’s terrible for property owners. And Doug Jones is a doctrinaire liberal, which is why he’s not saying anything and why the media are trying to boost him.”

Co-host Brian Kilmeade asked, “so, vote Roy Moore?”

Conway initially seemed confused in how to reply before she responded, “I’m telling you that we want the votes in the Senate to get this tax bill through,” and then she remembered the art of deflection and turned it around on Al Franken with, “and if the media were really concerned about all these allegations and that’s what this was truly about … Al Franken would be on the ash heap of bygone, half-funny comedians. He wouldn’t be here on Capitol Hill.”

This is tribalism. They would rather get the worst of the worst and sacrifice their principles to pass their agenda. But, I could be wrong.

Maybe they’ve never had principles.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Partisan Outrage


cjones11202017

When Roy Moore, Alabama’s Republican nominee for the U.S. Senate, had a woman accuse him of trying to have sex with her when she was 14, she wasn’t alone. Three other accusers joined her. More accusers came out the next day, and the next, and the next. We’ve hit double digits. You can make a pun out of “Moore” accusers.

After Minnesota Senate Democrat Al Franken’s accuser came out, she was alone and nobody has joined her since. The comparison between Moore and Franken isn’t fair. One was trying to get his rocks off with teenage girls while the other was staging comedy bits. One set a pattern while the other did not. But, politics is not fair.

Donald Trump tweets out an attack on Al Franken while remaining silent on Roy Moore and being tone-deaf regarding over 20 of his own accusers. Trump has boasted, very proudly, about groping women and barging in on teenage girls while they’re naked in a dressing room. Sarah Huckabee Sanders said it’s different because Franken admitted wrongdoing while Trump has denied his ever happened, even though he’s on tape admitting it.

For Republicans, lying, deflecting, and calling your accusers liars is more honorable than being honest, apologizing, and calling for an ethics investigation on your own past behavior.

People talk a good game about bridging the partisan divide, but they crap all over themselves when the perfect opportunity confronts them. Alabama’s governor has stated she believes Roy’s accusers but, she’s gonna vote for him anyway. She would rather have a pedophile in the Senate than someone she disagrees with. How is that being a good Christian?

The accusations against Franken won’t be the last to hit Washington. Watch how Republicans respond. The same people critical of Franken and have yelled for him to resign will be silent when Republicans are hit. The hypocrisy won’t matter. It’ll be like it just doesn’t exist to them.

Republicans will take a cue from Trump and Roy Moore. They’ll lie, deflect, and attack the accusers. Being honest is for Democrats.

Creative notes: I completed this cartoon early last night but I held it for today. I sent it to my clients and one of them has already scooped me and published it on their site.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Franky And Donny


cjones11182017

I wasn’t sure about this cartoon. I don’t want to come off as if I’m deflecting for Al Franken when I think the accusations against him should be taken seriously. And, then…Trump tweeted.

Do you know why Democrats have a harder time with sexual misconduct than the Republican Party? It’s because there’s a consensus among Democrats that it’s always wrong. With Republicans, it’s up to debate.

Democrats want every woman who accuses to be listened to and believe there should be a no-tolerance policy. On the other hand, Republicans think maybe it is OK if it’s just locker room talk. Maybe you can do what you want when you’re famous. Maybe it’s alright for a 32-year-old to stalk teenage girls at the mall. Maybe it’s OK to call them up at their high school to ask them out on a date. Maybe it’s all clear if you can compare your candidate’s groping to Jesus. Basically, it’s permissible when committed by a Republican, and when committed by a Democrat it’s all aboard with selective outrage on the douche-wagon.

Yesterday, I mentioned I saw five cartoons from conservatives using the talking point of using Bill Clinton to deflect from the accusations against Roy Moore. One of my right-wing colleagues, who have not mentioned anything about Roy Moore made, five posts today about Al Franken. He wrote “it’s crickets from liberals” regarding the Franken scandal. In reality, where most of us live, liberals are taking this on. Using cartoons as an example, I’ve seen ten (and they all play on the “doggone it, people like me” bit), and they were all drawn yesterday. My “friend” also wrote, “Christmas came early.” That’s exactly how they see it.

For conservatives, it’s not about ending sexual harassment, assault, transgressions, pedophilia, sloppy-unwanted kisses, and pussy-grabbing because you can get away with it when  you’re famous. It’s about attacking liberals and ignoring scandals involving conservatives and, Donald Trump proves I’m right.

Trump might be the only Republican in D.C. who has not pulled his endorsement of Roy Moore. White House Spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders gave the usual tripe regarding Moore saying the president finds it troubling blah, blah, blabbity, blah but,  whether he should drop out of the race or not she said, “that is a decision the people of Alabama need to make, not the president.” Trump has refused to discuss the Moore issue. He promised us a big announcement when he returned from his trip to Asia. Instead of his “big announcement” being on Moore, it was a huge revelation that Trump was praised and complimented during his trip to Asia like no one in history ever before. He has even refused to give an opinion on Moore, even as reporters were shouting questions at him about it. But guess what he does want to talk about.

Trump tweeted about Al Franken. He tweeted, “the Al Frankenstien picture is really bad, speaks a thousand words. Where do his hands go in pictures 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6 while she sleeps? …..” The dot, dot, dot dot, dots  and misspelling of “Frankenstein” are his. And then he tweeted, “and to think that just last week he was lecturing anyone who would listen about sexual harassment and respect for women. Lesley Stahl tape?

The Lesley Stahl thing is a reference to Franken describing a bit he wrote for SNL that never aired. Breitbart ran a story about it which is why it’s on Trump’s radar.

Leeann Tweeden, a TV host, and sportscaster accused Franken of kissing and groping her without her consent in 2006 when they were on a USO tour together. She produced a picture of Franken posing in front of her while she slept while wearing a helmet and flak jacket, and Franken appears as though he’s about to grope her breasts. She says Franken wrote a comedy bit where he tries to kiss her and she rejects him. She says Franken insisted on practicing the kissing scene when she didn’t want to, and eventually, he forced his tongue into her mouth.

Franken says he remembers their rehearsals differently, but he apologized and said the photo was stupid. Tweeden accepted his apology.

Every accuser should be listened to. The evidence that comes along with their accusations should be paid attention to as well. Franken does recall the rehearsals differently but maybe she’s absolutely right and it did happen the way she has described. But, if her issue is the sexual stuff then why did she make other details personal? She talked about how nobody wanted Franken’s autograph at signing sessions. She went into details in how disgusting Franken’s kiss was. She talked about how Franken drew goatees and devil horns on photos of her.

Yesterday, Trump supporter Roger Stone said, “it’s Al Franken’s time in the barrel,” apparently knowing something was about to come out. Tweeden also works for Fox Sports and has been a guest on Sean Hannity’s show. Surprise!

Franken didn’t offer excuses and said the photo was in poor taste and Tweeden has every right to be upset over it. He apologized and she accepted. The thing about the photo is, even though it is in poor taste, it’s staged and not a hidden incident. There were a photographer and others in the room. I’ve seen it mentioned on social media that Tweeden was pretending to be asleep for the photo, but I can’t find verification for that, but watch for it to come up.

Franken has called for an ethics investigation into his own conduct. In contrast, during the 2016 presidential campaign, at least eleven women accused Trump of sexual harassment. Trump has called them liars and has threatened to sue them. Nine women have made accusations against Roy Moore, and he’s taken the Trump route, calling them liars and is threatening lawsuits, even against the media. Also, Tweeden is not 14-years-old with Franken trying to pick her up out of her high school trigonometry class.

Conservatives and even a few liberals are calling for Franken to resign. I’ll agree if more credible accusations come forward. For now, I think he should run for president. He’s still one of the sharpest minds in Washington and this nation needs a voice like his, despite doing an idiotic stunt in 2006 that he’s not trying to cover up or make excuses for. But I will make a deal with you.

I will call for Franken to resign if conservatives make the same demand for Donald Trump and every Republican who receives credible accusations in the future. But, looking at Republican hypocrisy today, I don’t think they’d keep the bargain.

There’s another way around this mess too, and that is…elect more woman. We tried that last year with the presidency but many of you didn’t cooperate.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.