Pedogate

Stranger Danger


cjones11232017

The three largest newspapers in Alabama are pleading with the state’s voters not to send Roy Moore to the United States Senate. The Birmingham News, The Mobile Press-Register, and The Huntsville Times (all owned by Alabama Media Group) don’t want the voters to embarrass Alabama.

While we’re wondering how so many people can defend and choose a suspected pedophile over a man who has prosecuted members of the KKK for killing children, let me remind you that this is not new territory.

In 2016 our choices were the most qualified person to ever run for the office of President of the United States and a man who didn’t exhibit any qualifications, knowledge, or capability for the job, and only displayed childish, immature, stupid, racist, and narcissistic tendencies, while spreading conspiracy theories and lies. It not only amazed me that people could be undecided in the days leading up to the election, but on Election Day, many voters chose the stupid candidate and put him in the White House.

Voters polled before the election gave Trump higher marks in honesty than Clinton despite the fact checkers grading over 90 percent of Trump statements as lies. I underestimated the stupidity and pettiness of the American voter. I don’t think we should underestimate it in Alabama.

Roy Moore’s defenders believe there’s a conspiracy against him. They “know” The Washington Post paid women to accuse him of sexual transgressions, one committed against a 14-year-old. They think the Democrats and the Republican establishment are after him.

One defender compared his actions to Joseph being with Mary because Joseph is supposedly older according to their mythology. While arguing he never committed any of the acts he’s accused of, his supporters find ways to justify them. And, then there are those who believe the accusations and still support him.

For Alabama Republicans, being a Democrat and believing in the separation of church and state and the U.S. Constitution is a greater sin than pedophilia. The governor said she believes Moore’s accusers, but she plans to vote for him anyway.

Last week, White House goon Kellyanne Conway said, “there is no Senate seat worth more than a child.” Now, it seems she’s had a change of heart and there is one Senate seat worth more than a child.

The White House and Trump have been very cowardly regarding Moore. Trump was wrong once in his endorsement for Alabama’s Senate seat and he doesn’t want to be wrong again. He’s afraid of upsetting his base, and in Alabama, his polls are extremely high. His supporters might be stupid, but he doesn’t want to lose them.

The White House has been trotting out the argument that Alabama voters need to select their next Senator. They don’t want to explicitly endorse a pedophile, but they also don’t want to discourage people from sending him to Washington.

Yesterday, Conway made comments on Fox & Friends that left even those nitwits confused. They weren’t sure if they should jump on the Moore bandwagon or what. Their directives from the White House are normally much clearer, and they’re not good with subtle hints.

Conway was arguing against Doug Jones, the Democrat facing Moore for the Senate seat. Conway said, “and Doug Jones in Alabama? Folks, don’t be fooled. He’ll be a vote against tax cuts. He’s weak on crime, weak on borders. He’s strong on raising your taxes. He’s terrible for property owners. And Doug Jones is a doctrinaire liberal, which is why he’s not saying anything and why the media are trying to boost him.”

Co-host Brian Kilmeade asked, “so, vote Roy Moore?”

Conway initially seemed confused in how to reply before she responded, “I’m telling you that we want the votes in the Senate to get this tax bill through,” and then she remembered the art of deflection and turned it around on Al Franken with, “and if the media were really concerned about all these allegations and that’s what this was truly about … Al Franken would be on the ash heap of bygone, half-funny comedians. He wouldn’t be here on Capitol Hill.”

This is tribalism. They would rather get the worst of the worst and sacrifice their principles to pass their agenda. But, I could be wrong.

Maybe they’ve never had principles.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Partisan Outrage


cjones11202017

When Roy Moore, Alabama’s Republican nominee for the U.S. Senate, had a woman accuse him of trying to have sex with her when she was 14, she wasn’t alone. Three other accusers joined her. More accusers came out the next day, and the next, and the next. We’ve hit double digits. You can make a pun out of “Moore” accusers.

After Minnesota Senate Democrat Al Franken’s accuser came out, she was alone and nobody has joined her since. The comparison between Moore and Franken isn’t fair. One was trying to get his rocks off with teenage girls while the other was staging comedy bits. One set a pattern while the other did not. But, politics is not fair.

Donald Trump tweets out an attack on Al Franken while remaining silent on Roy Moore and being tone-deaf regarding over 20 of his own accusers. Trump has boasted, very proudly, about groping women and barging in on teenage girls while they’re naked in a dressing room. Sarah Huckabee Sanders said it’s different because Franken admitted wrongdoing while Trump has denied his ever happened, even though he’s on tape admitting it.

For Republicans, lying, deflecting, and calling your accusers liars is more honorable than being honest, apologizing, and calling for an ethics investigation on your own past behavior.

People talk a good game about bridging the partisan divide, but they crap all over themselves when the perfect opportunity confronts them. Alabama’s governor has stated she believes Roy’s accusers but, she’s gonna vote for him anyway. She would rather have a pedophile in the Senate than someone she disagrees with. How is that being a good Christian?

The accusations against Franken won’t be the last to hit Washington. Watch how Republicans respond. The same people critical of Franken and have yelled for him to resign will be silent when Republicans are hit. The hypocrisy won’t matter. It’ll be like it just doesn’t exist to them.

Republicans will take a cue from Trump and Roy Moore. They’ll lie, deflect, and attack the accusers. Being honest is for Democrats.

Creative notes: I completed this cartoon early last night but I held it for today. I sent it to my clients and one of them has already scooped me and published it on their site.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Bama Jewy Robo Call


cjones11172017

When you’re on the right side of an issue, you don’t have to make shit up. That totally explains why Roy Moore, his wife, their racist lawyers, Breitbart, Alabama Republicans, and all the hideous goons on social media are making shit up.

I’m glad I’m not a conservative cartoonist, but if I was then I like to think I wouldn’t act like a hideous ogre and follow talking points designed to defend a pedophile. Today, I’ve already seen four political cartoons using the sexcapades of Bill Clinton as a deflection for Roy Moore’s pedophilia. In addition to those four cartoons, there was a propaganda piece masquerading as a political cartoon by that Branco guy (look him up) following the same talking point. I can’t wait to see what Ben Garrison does on it (whatever it is, it’ll include about 38 labels). But then again, these are the same people who defended Nazis recently.

Just when I thought to deflect for a pedophile was rotten enough, news came out yesterday that some right-wing troglodytes are robocalling voters in Alabama to increase support for Moore. Every campaign conducts robocalls for their candidate, but in this case, the calls are pretending to be something they’re not.

The person on this call is posing as a Washington Post reporter offering money to anyone who claims they were sexually assaulted by Roy Moore.

The caller, going by the name the very Jewish-sounding name “Bernie Bernstein,” says, “I’m a reporter for The Washington Post calling to find out if anyone at this address is a female between the ages of 54 to 57 years old, willing to make damaging remarks about candidate Roy Moore for a reward of between $5,000 and $7,000.” The caller also states they will not be “fully investigating” the claims and could be contacted at albernstein@washingtonpost.com. The email is phony and will bounce back if you use it. They don’t really want a reply. They’re just trying to piss people off.

The first clue it’s a fake call is that the name doesn’t match the email address. The second clue is that the email doesn’t work. Another big one is the fact The Washington Post does NOT pay for stories or to sources. They’re not the National Enquirer.

Moore’s supporters have already spread stories that were quickly debunked, that the Post paid the women accusing Roy Moore of sexual misconduct. If you’re wrong, you make shit up. You make a divisive situation more divisive. You also hire a racist lawyer to defend your lying candidate.

If you think my cartoon is stereotyping, wait until you hear about this.

Yesterday, an attorney for Moore went on MSNBC and told host Ali Velshi that his “background” would help him understand Moore’s “process.” 

Co-host Stephanie Ruhle asked the attorney, Trenton Garmon, why  Moore “would need permission from any of these girls’ mothers if they weren’t underage.” Garmon replied, “Culturally speaking, obviously there’s differences, (I) looked up Ali’s background there, and wow, that’s awesome that you have got such a diverse background, it’s really cool to read through that. But point is this, each culture has…” Then Ruhle interrupted him and asked, “What does Ali’s background have to do with dating a 14-year-old?”

Garmon said, “Sure — in other countries, there is arrangement through parents for what we would refer to as consensual marriage… “ Ruhle interrupted to inform the racist attorney that Velshi is from Canada. The attorney continued to drown from there…which is what everyone is doing who are defending Roy Moore.

As for me, I know how to swim. I suggest conservatives who are defending Moore take a few lessons.

Creative notes: So yesterday, my research entailed asking a friend, who is Jewish, if the term is “Jewy” or “Jewwy?” I’m fortunate she’s a really cool person and knows what I’m up to when I ask what seems like an absurd, and anti-Semitic question. I didn’t ask her because she’s Jewish. I worked with her at my last newspaper job, and I still ask her to proof text and the phrases for a lot of my cartoons. So, she gets a lot of crazy questions from me. I usually don’t tell her what I’m working on just so it’ll get her curiosity up.

Also, yeah I stereotyped the South with this cartoon…but I can do that. I’m from the South. But, in all honesty, the people in this cartoon are everywhere. Alabama just has a lot more of them. The people I have worked with in the South are some of the most creative people I’ve ever worked with, and they educated me on this business. And like Jews tell the best Jewish jokes, nobody laughs harder at Southerners than Southerners.

I have covered local issues before on people keeping chickens inside their homes, but most of that was when I was working in Honolulu. In fact, that city had to pass a law limiting how many chickens people can keep in their apartments. Seriously.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Creeping With Roy


cjones11122017

There’s a saying in Southern politics I’m sure you’ve heard before. It goes something like, “the only thing worse than getting caught with a dead girl is a live boy.” Though kinda tasteless, it’s funny because it’s true.

Alabama just may show us how true it is because, between the choice of Not A Republican and Pedophile, Republican voters have to think it over.

Senator John McCain is the only elected Republican I have heard so far stand up for what is right. He said Roy Moore should step down as a candidate for the Alabama Senate seat after accusations were revealed by The Washington Post that he sexually assaulted a 14-year-old minor, and dated other under-age girls, ages ranging from 16-18 while he was in his early 30s.

Other Republicans have said he should step down IF the accusations prove to be true. Donald Trump, who is on tape boasting about sexually assaulting women and who didn’t need anything more than an accusation to determine Harvey Weinstein is guilty of sexual assault, joined his colleagues in the “IF” department. A statement from the White House said, “we cannot allow a mere allegation, in this case one from many years ago, to destroy a person’s life.”

The four women, who don’t know each other, have gone on the record with their claims backed by 30 sources. Yet, Moore is refusing to step down and blamed the Democratic Party, The Post, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama.

Moore is an insane person (being gay should be illegal, Muslims can’t serve in Congress, birther, etc.) that mainstream Republicans don’t even like, which means Ted Cruz loves him. But, they’d still rather be associated in the Senate with a pedophile than a Democrat.

As allegations of impropriety, assault, and even rape emerge, the outrage people express often depends upon their politics. Many will demand justice for one perpetrator while remaining silent about another. It’s a disgusting place we’ve come to when we allow our partisanship not just to make us liars, but also terrible human beings.

Breitbart, an inviting outlet for horrible and revolting people, is defending Moore. He has other defenders within the Republican Party. John Skipper, a former chair of the Mobile County Republican Party, declared the allegations “total contrived media garbage.” Jim Zeigler, the state auditor said, “single man, early 30s, never been married, dating teenage girls,” as if it wasn’t a big deal. Zeigler also said, “take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus.” Not only will some Republicans stick up for pedophiles, they’ll use their religion to defend them.

Steve Bannon, former campaign manager and senior adviser to Trump and head of Breitbart is a staunch supporter of Moore’s. Steven Law, the head of a McConnell-aligned “super PAC” excoriated Breitbart for “defending ‘consensual’ sex between a 32-year-old and a 16-year-old.”

A former aide to Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Josh Holmes said, “This is what happens when you let reckless, incompetent idiots like Steve Bannon go out and recruit candidates who have absolutely no business running for the U.S. Senate.”

It shouldn’t be difficult to disagree with Mr. Holmes, no matter which political side you’re on. Pedophilia may be the most horrible thing a person can inflict upon another. Child abuse should never be tolerated. But, this is what many Republicans have reduced themselves to, defending pedophiles. What’s next? A statue of Dennis Hastert?

The actions of Republicans and evangelicals are never as strong as their words. While demanding wholesome candidates with family values, they strongly support the likes of Donald Trump, who brags about assaulting women and barging in on teenage girls while they’re changing into swimwear. Alabama, a state where Trump is actually still popular, went big for the guy in 2016.

Last Tuesday, the women’s march turned out candidates who sent several Republican incumbent males packing in Virginia. Even gerrymandering couldn’t save those guys. I know Alabama isn’t as enlightened or as progressive as Virginia, but hopefully, women in that state won’t send a guy to the United States Senate that they wouldn’t want around their teenage daughters. Personally, I wouldn’t let the guy dog sit.

Alabama votes in 30 days for their new Senator. I hope they’ll do the right thing and elect Doug Jones, a man whose involvement with underage girls is prosecuting the Ku Klux Klan for killing four of them.

On one hand, you have a man who put away murdering racists. On the other hand, you have a guy who groped and dated underage teenage girls.

Don’t tell me you have to think about it.

Creative note: I drew this same escalator scene last year on October 26. I didn’t look at it until I was done drawing this one. I thought I was changing the angle a bit, but nope. They’re pretty much the same.

I had another idea on this subject but I felt this was funnier. Then, I received a visitor at 4:00 AM who told me I picked the right cartoon.

I had a girl visit me in my bedroom at 4:00 AM bringing batteries. Sounds dirty, right? Yeah, go me. Actually, she was coming over to see her boyfriend who is not me, and she brought me batteries for my new wireless mouse…which is awesome. It’s my first wireless mouse. I’m turning into an old guy who can be slow with techie stuff. Hell, I’m so old I remember when defending the United States from Russians was a part of the Republican platform.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.