Jefferson’s Cookies


Jefferson Beauregard Sessions’ testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee was frustrating.  He had more “I can’t recalls” than Ronald Reagan when he was answering questions about Iran/Contra.

During his confirmation hearing to become Attorney General, Sessions was answering about Trump surrogates meeting with Russians. Sessions said he wasn’t aware of any meetings and then volunteered that he never met the Russians. As it turns out, he met the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, at least twice, and possibly a third time. He “can’t recall” if he met Kislyak at the Mayflower Hotel during a Trump speech, though witnesses report they saw them chatting. I stayed at the Mayflower Hotel once and if I had met any Russians there I would definitely remember that unless Sergey Kislyak has some sort of hypnotic charm that makes people forget they met him.

It’s surprising how many people in the Trump administration have been snacking on these Russian cookies and totally forget having done so.

Sessions lied to Congress to be confirmed. Since he was confirmed on a lie, he should resign.

He claims he recused himself from all matters involving investigations into Russia, he was in on Donald Trump firing FBI director James Comey. Trump even said he fired Comey because of the investigation into Russia. I’m sure Sessions was in on Comey’s replacement.

Sessions contradicted himself in regard to Comey. He said he trusted Comey to do his job and that’s why he didn’t get involved with Trump attempting to interfere with Comey’s investigation. Then he says Comey was doing a bad job and had to be fired for his handling of the Clinton investigation. He advised the president to fire Comey.

Sessions says he can’t remember what he discussed with Kislyak when they met in his office, but he’s adamant that they didn’t talk about meddling in the election. It’s not believable that he can’t remember what they discussed.

Sessions refused to answer questions about his conversations with Trump. Sessions didn’t cite “executive privilege,” but said the president may use it later in regard to those conversations. He also claimed there was a Justice Department policy on keeping those conversations private but he couldn’t cite the policy. He’s sure it’s written down somewhere. It’s a weasely way to get out of giving answers you don’t want to give, which comes natural to shit weasels.

Cornell Law School professor Jens David Ohlin said Sessions’ reasoning did not make sense.

“His justification for refusing to answer the questions was completely incoherent. He claimed executive privilege but then denied that he had done so,” Ohlin said. “It made no sense whatsoever. He’s basically trying to have his cake and eat it, too: claim executive privilege but then pretend that he didn’t. His position has no basis in law, common sense, or logic.”

There’s a lot of stuff going down with the Trump administration that doesn’t have any basis in law, logic, common sense, or any sense. Hell, it doesn’t make sense that Trump is even president or that anyone with a functioning brain voted for him.

It’s a game Sessions is playing with the “executive privilege” excuse. The president hasn’t cited it and if he does, the Senate could challenge it in court. If a court rules that those discussions aren’t pertinent to national security or classified information, then Sessions will be forced to answer.

If Sessions is ever forced to answer these questions regarding Russia, his dealings with Comey and Trump, it will chop his hollow tree down. And wouldn’t that be delicious?

Creative Notes: This was my second idea. Another cartoonist produced a cartoon very similar to my first so I scratched it and went back to the drawing board. A lot of cartoonists will think of an idea and believe it will occur to others too, so they race to be the first one. I don’t do that. What’s the point of being first with an obvious idea? I’m glad the other guy beat me to my first idea.

A reader was critical of some of my short jokes directed at Sessions. It’s not so much a short joke as it is an elf joke. I’m not making Sessions a Keebler elf here entirely because he’s short. I’m making him look like the Keebler elf because he looks like the Keebler elf. It’s the same for Ted Cruz. I don’t draw him looking like Grandpa Munster because he’s a creepy, hideous, ugly-looking dude. I draw him as Grandpa Munster because he looks like Grandpa Munster. He also looks like Mr. Haney from Green Acres.

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