Sessions Hearing

Collusion Over Coffee


It’s been a very busy week for bullshit.

First, Vladimir Putin told Trump he didn’t have anything to do with Russia meddling in our election. As if, Russia had Wikileaks hack into the DNC, made attempts to hack into voting systems, placed ads on Facebook and Twitter, sent Russians to hang out with Trump sycophants, and unleashed troll farms, all without Putin being aware of it. Worse yet, Trump believed him.

Then, Jeff Sessions is questioned by Congress again, and tells us his previous lies weren’t lies. There were a lot of “I don’t recalls,” and he explained how he suddenly remembers telling Papadopoulos not to go to Russia at a meeting he doesn’t remember attending.

I’m not sure this administration can match Reagan’s with “I don’t recalls,” but they may beat them in indictments.

And then…Donald Trump Jr, who got really upset every time someone accused the campaign of colluding with Russia, revealed yet another incident of his collusion with Russia.

During the campaign, Jr. was trading messages back and forth with Wikileaks through Twitter. They even asked Jr. to give them his father’s tax returns so they could leak it and pretend they weren’t just going after the Clinton campaign. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.

Wikileaks suggested to Jr. that Trump not concede if he lost, and should challenge the results (which he still did after winning). Jr. even emailed Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, and Jared Kushner to tell them Wikileaks just made contact. Jared forwarded that email to Hope Hicks. How often have we seen Kellyanne on TV denying there was any collusion with Russia? Maybe twice?

In keeping with his strategy of not knowing when to shut up, Jr. tweeted out, “Here is the entire chain of messages with @wikileaks9 with my whopping 3 responses) which one of the congressional committees has chosen to selectively leak. How ironic!”

How terrible it must be when someone leaks proof you’re full of shit and a traitor.

Uh, Jr….the fact you replied even once can be described as a whopper. What else can be defined as whopperistic are your denials of collusion. If you were actually transparent you would have revealed this a very long time ago, at least around the time you were calling people liars who accused you of colluding. Or maybe, you could have revealed this after everyone found out you were hosting Russians who were promising dirt on Hillary in Trump Tower.

Jeff Sessions once said “good people don’t smoke marijuana,” but potheads have a better memory than these guys.

People are starting to think maybe Eric isn’t the dumb one after all. At this point, I’m starting to think Carter Page might be related.

Meanwhile, wingnuts are destroying Keurig coffee makers because the company pulled advertising from Sean Hannity’s show when that guy helped deflect Roy Moore’s pedophilia.

Destroying coffee makers should please Kellyanne Conway, who believes kitchen appliances can spy on us.

It’s hard to get cartoon ideas on people who are already cartoons.

Creative notes: Shortish blog today because I need to write ideas for two commissioned projects. Also, I’m not sure if this cartoon is good at all. But, sometimes I’ll go with something if it makes me laugh and I can have fun with it. It’s hard to tell sometimes when you don’t get your idea until 5:00 AM.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Jefferson’s Cookies


Jefferson Beauregard Sessions’ testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee was frustrating.  He had more “I can’t recalls” than Ronald Reagan when he was answering questions about Iran/Contra.

During his confirmation hearing to become Attorney General, Sessions was answering about Trump surrogates meeting with Russians. Sessions said he wasn’t aware of any meetings and then volunteered that he never met the Russians. As it turns out, he met the Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak, at least twice, and possibly a third time. He “can’t recall” if he met Kislyak at the Mayflower Hotel during a Trump speech, though witnesses report they saw them chatting. I stayed at the Mayflower Hotel once and if I had met any Russians there I would definitely remember that unless Sergey Kislyak has some sort of hypnotic charm that makes people forget they met him.

It’s surprising how many people in the Trump administration have been snacking on these Russian cookies and totally forget having done so.

Sessions lied to Congress to be confirmed. Since he was confirmed on a lie, he should resign.

He claims he recused himself from all matters involving investigations into Russia, he was in on Donald Trump firing FBI director James Comey. Trump even said he fired Comey because of the investigation into Russia. I’m sure Sessions was in on Comey’s replacement.

Sessions contradicted himself in regard to Comey. He said he trusted Comey to do his job and that’s why he didn’t get involved with Trump attempting to interfere with Comey’s investigation. Then he says Comey was doing a bad job and had to be fired for his handling of the Clinton investigation. He advised the president to fire Comey.

Sessions says he can’t remember what he discussed with Kislyak when they met in his office, but he’s adamant that they didn’t talk about meddling in the election. It’s not believable that he can’t remember what they discussed.

Sessions refused to answer questions about his conversations with Trump. Sessions didn’t cite “executive privilege,” but said the president may use it later in regard to those conversations. He also claimed there was a Justice Department policy on keeping those conversations private but he couldn’t cite the policy. He’s sure it’s written down somewhere. It’s a weasely way to get out of giving answers you don’t want to give, which comes natural to shit weasels.

Cornell Law School professor Jens David Ohlin said Sessions’ reasoning did not make sense.

“His justification for refusing to answer the questions was completely incoherent. He claimed executive privilege but then denied that he had done so,” Ohlin said. “It made no sense whatsoever. He’s basically trying to have his cake and eat it, too: claim executive privilege but then pretend that he didn’t. His position has no basis in law, common sense, or logic.”

There’s a lot of stuff going down with the Trump administration that doesn’t have any basis in law, logic, common sense, or any sense. Hell, it doesn’t make sense that Trump is even president or that anyone with a functioning brain voted for him.

It’s a game Sessions is playing with the “executive privilege” excuse. The president hasn’t cited it and if he does, the Senate could challenge it in court. If a court rules that those discussions aren’t pertinent to national security or classified information, then Sessions will be forced to answer.

If Sessions is ever forced to answer these questions regarding Russia, his dealings with Comey and Trump, it will chop his hollow tree down. And wouldn’t that be delicious?

Creative Notes: This was my second idea. Another cartoonist produced a cartoon very similar to my first so I scratched it and went back to the drawing board. A lot of cartoonists will think of an idea and believe it will occur to others too, so they race to be the first one. I don’t do that. What’s the point of being first with an obvious idea? I’m glad the other guy beat me to my first idea.

A reader was critical of some of my short jokes directed at Sessions. It’s not so much a short joke as it is an elf joke. I’m not making Sessions a Keebler elf here entirely because he’s short. I’m making him look like the Keebler elf because he looks like the Keebler elf. It’s the same for Ted Cruz. I don’t draw him looking like Grandpa Munster because he’s a creepy, hideous, ugly-looking dude. I draw him as Grandpa Munster because he looks like Grandpa Munster. He also looks like Mr. Haney from Green Acres.

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