Hillary’s Pom-Poms


cjones12162016

As we get closer and closer to the day that Donald Trump becomes the actual president of the United States and we wake up and discover it’s not just a horrible, truly terrifying, blood-curdling nightmare That even the most hateful and evil demons from Hell wouldn’t inflict upon humanity, some people are realizing that maybe we should stop this. They’re looking toward the people who actually elect the president. They’re looking to the electors.

Even a few electors are expressing concern and want to be briefed by the CIA to find out just how bad this Russia stuff is. Did we just have a coup and mistake it for rampant stupidity on our parts?

The Trump transition has been a bigger disaster than the Republican convention. He has spent the entire time since the election proving he’s unqualified and totally uninterested in the details of the job. We have a president-elect who is such a narcissist that he doesn’t believe anyone can educate him or tell him something he doesn’t know. He’s rejecting what our nation’s intelligence tells him and instead is relying on InfoWars talking points to counter their message, as if our security is a game.

He’s appointing people to his cabinet and inner circle who aren’t qualified or are Vladimir-approved. He’s allowing his business interest to supersede his duties as president. He’s setting himself up to be blackmailed by third-world nations such as Turkey. Does Trump want a new hotel in Istanbul to be built bad enough that he’ll extradite a man to be executed by President Erdogan, a notable fascist whose sources of information are also as reliable as Breitbart? The rest of us might be stuck eating borscht for the rest of our lives, but Trump will have a sweet tower in downtown Istanbul.

So we look to the last line of defense to save our nation. Partisan Republicans. Republican electors hold the key to deny Trump the presidency. But how do you convince a bunch of Republicans not to vote for the man who won the electoral college? You don’t. You convince Democrats to give up on the pipe dream of electing Hillary and have them work with just enough Republicans willing to defect to elect a different Republican  to the presidency.

Will that sound tempting to enough Republicans to sway them not to cast their vote for Trump? Maybe. But who will be that candidate? The Democrats have gotta let them decide and just prepare for the bad taste of a Republican they’re not going to like, but will not plunge the nation into World War III over a tweet, or because he missed an intelligence briefing for another pep rally, or he had to hang out with Kanye.

Maybe you can convince them to go for the best option which would be John Kasich (who’s already said “leave me out of this”). Hell, Democrats could live with Mitt Romney at this point. He’s got a lot of poop on his nose right now but that should wash off. They’d even go for Mike Pence, as terrible and utterly terrifying as that sounds. Hell, they’d even go for Ted Cruz….no they wouldn’t. I’ve gone too far.

What’s possible is that the electors don’t elect a president. They vote between three candidates and none acquire the necessary 270 voters. Then it’d go to the House of Representatives which is run by very rational and reasonable Republicans. Crap. But it’s still possible enough Republicans there can bond with House Democrats to send that third option to the White House. If the Democrats gave them Scott Walker they’d probably bite.

Is this scenario actually possible? Yes. The electors are human beings. Even the Republicans. They have to have a soul in there somewhere. They are capable of realizing what a planet-destroying asteroid of a disaster Trump is…maybe. It’s also possible you can find at least 36 Republican electors who are more patriotic than partisan. Maybe. Can you get all of the Democratic electors to go along with this? No, but maybe enough. Personally, I would eat a live rattlesnake to prevent Trump from becoming president. I would spend the rest of the year with the only song in my head being that hippopotamus tune from that Christmas commercial. I would spend an entire weekend listening to Nickelback on a loop. I would sit through a Tyler Perry marathon. I will watch Two Broke Girls.

Is this going to happen? No. On December 19 the electors will vote making Donald Trump the actual freaking president of the United States of America and light the fuse that will ultimately obliterate our nation.

There is one thing to keep in mind and that is nothing has gone as expected during this entire election process.

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3 comments

  1. Let him fail. If you pull him out you make him a martyr. (Not to forget to mention The Alamo/ The Maine/ Pearl Harbor/ Nine Eleven.) 2nd Amendment solution will be the order of the day.

    This genii is out of the bottle. You know that the last thing out of Pandora’s box was Hope. (Like I hope you appreciate the Pandora’s box ephenism… He knows big words, he know the best words.)

    As this “a theist” sighs and says “Oh my God, this Putz elect can’t read!” I say (the part of me that is still in the bargaining stage of its grief) “So this is why the Evangelicals voted for Trump. There are no atheists in foxholes! They figure we’ll all be coming to Jebus!”

    W1o7!* Last night I watched Sam Bee (on the DVR, if you aren’t watching Sam Bee’s Full Frontal that’s your bad! She’s great.) and while I appreciated her theme, the reality of what she (and you, Clay) is saying is why I miss so much since the election. The humor has been taken out of the situation. Every day feels like the afterschool special episode where the mother dies a long and horrible death! Except this time I’m the one the story is about!

    I digressed. It’s time for Dems to gird their loins! There needs to be a showing of The 300. The Dems need to find their Thermopylae and make our stand! They need to make a deal like “We’ll give you Tea for your Tillerman, steak for your sons. But you will give us Merrick Garland for the SCOTUS!” Make every conversation with the guy sound like you’re making a deal. And let him think you’re taking the short end of the deal. He’ll bite every time.

    * W1o7 = Word 1 of 7. The 7 words you can’t say on TV.

    PLAU
    DPR

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Just to be clear.

      I am NOT saying a 2nd amendment solution is at all called for (although I did have a dream last night that I punched this clown in the nose! It was worth it!).

      I’m saying that if you ripped the yahoo candidate out of their hands they would go berserker!

      Feel how badly you feel that this guy has been elected* (word of the year ought to be *) after you thought Hillary had it won? How badly would you feel if after she won they impeached her before she was inaugurated? And you’re not a gun nut. You haven’t felt oppressed by a nation that insists that all men are created equal! You haven’t spend your life under a rock and then blamed your flat forehead on, well people who have felt this:

      Like

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