Electoral College

TrumpFly


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

When I bounced this off my editor, he asked if I was playing off the 1980s version of The Fly with Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis. I told him I was referencing the original more since that movie made “help me” famous. Goldblum does say “help me” in the 80s version, but it’s not the iconic one that made it famous. Still, a lot of people may not be thinking of the 1950s one when they think of The Fly.

To be honest, I’ve never seen the 50s version but it’s so iconic, I’m well aware of “help me” in a high pitched voice. Still, I looked up the iconic “help me” scene from the 1950s version, and after being jaded, desensitized and inoculated to movie violence throughout my life, I gotta say…that scene creeped me the F out. It made my skin crawl.

But still not as creepy as Mike Pence and is fawning adoration of Donald Trump. In fact, all MAGAts are creepy. But cults tend to be that way. They’re like Children of the Corn without the corn, or that movie where all the children had glowing eyes.

Donald Trump is pressuring Mike Pence to reject ballots tomorrow when he presides over Congress certifying the electoral college. He’s confused in that Mike Pence doesn’t actually have that power. And thank god he doesn’t. If Mike Pence did that power, would he use it to disenfranchise millions of voters and steal an election and create a fascist state?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Good Mike, Evil Mike


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Vice-President (sic) Mike Pence will preside when the Senate and House meet Wednesday, January 6, to certify the presidential election. It’s a role every vice-president takes. Four years ago, Joe Biden presided over the Congressional certification of Donald Trump’s victory (ugh). There have been a lot of questions over what Pence will do. There is very little he can do. He will be about as effective with this as he was leading the Coronavirus Task Force.

At least 140 House Republicans plan to object to the election result. At least 13 Senate Republicans will do the same. Their objections are based solely on debunked conspiracy theories. They argue for “election integrity” while lacking Congressional integrity. These members of the House and Senate are trying to stage a coup and steal an election. They will be about as effective with this as Mike Pence was at making Donald Trump a godly man. So, what will Mike do?

He’s already signaled support for the members of Congress who will object. On Saturday, his Chief-of-Staff issued a statement saying Pence “shares the concerns of millions of Americans about voter fraud and irregularities in the last election.” Never mind the fact there was no voter fraud or irregularities. The greatest example of election fraud has come from the White House.

The statement from Pence’s office continued with, “The Vice-President (sic) welcomes the efforts of members of the House and Senate to use the authority they have under the law to raise objections and bring forward evidence before the Congress and the American people on Jan. 6th.” Uhhhhhhh….what evidence? They will be as effective at producing evidence as Mike Pence was with promoting gay-conversion therapy.

At a fucknut hate rally in Georgia today, Pence said, “I promise you, come this Wednesday, we’ll have our day in Congress. We’ll hear the objections. We’ll hear the evidence.” We’d have better luck at finding Mike Pence’s integrity.

We will all have our day in Congress. Mostly, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will have their day in Congress. Why? Because they won the election. Republicans believe they’re going to overturn this election, but they’ll have as much luck with that as I have with not vomiting in my mouth every time Mike Pence calls the woman he sleeps with “Mother.” Ew.

Pence said we’ll “hear the evidence” come this Wednesday. The only evidence we heard of election fraud was from the tape of Trump begging and demanding the Georgia Secretary of State to overturn an election, give him imaginary votes, and thwart democracy, or else he’d send him to prison.

What will happen Wednesday will be a bunch of Republicans creating a shit show to shit on democracy for political expediency. They will further divide this nation. Instead of doing the right thing in certifying an election, even the winner they didn’t vote for, which Congress has always done…Republicans plan to attack democracy. But they’ll be about as successful attacking democracy as Mike Pence was at upstaging that fly.

I have to say, there’s nothing Republican about destroying a republic. The GOP is now a cult.

Joe Biden will be certified as our next president this Wednesday. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will be inaugurated on January 20. The most intriguing part of Wednesday for me will be when it’s time for the vice-president (sic) to announce the winner. I’m making popcorn.

As for which version will show up on Wednesday, Good Mike Pence or Evil Mike Pence, spoiler alert! There is only Evil Mike Pence.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are currently 11 copies of my book on hand, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00. (If you have already ordered and waiting, they’re going out tomorrow).

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Josh’s Election Jacking


cjones01032021

Michael Gerson addresses Missouri Republican Senator Josh Hawley’s plan to object to the certification of Joe Biden’s electoral college victory in his most recent column for The Washington Post.

Gerson writes, “In the cause of his own advancement, the senator from Missouri is willing to endorse the disenfranchisement of millions of Americans — particularly voters of color — and justify the attempted theft of an election. He is willing to credit malicious lies that will poison our democracy for generations. The fulfillment of Hawley’s intention — the ultimate overturning of the election — would be the collapse of U.S. self-government.”

Hawley, who is a former clerk for Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, understands the Constitution. Hawley knows there was no massive election fraud and what he’s doing is helping Donald Trump advance a lie and conspiracy theory. Since Hawley is aware of all this, what he’s doing is pandering.

He’s pandering to Donald Trump, the MAGAt base, and to right-wing propaganda outlets such as Fox News, OANN, and Newsmax because he wants to run for president in 2024. Maybe if Donald Trump is too bogged down in his own personal strife, debts, scandals, lawsuits, potentially prison, and possibly fleeing the country, to run for president again, he’ll endorse Josh Hawley. In fact, Hawley is actually fundraising off this.

Hawley is overlooking something. Donald Trump is not loyal. Do you think he’s pardoning his goons out of loyalty? No. He’s pardoning them as a payoff. If you want an expert opinion on Trump’s loyalty, talk to Michael Cohen. Trump’s loyalty and corruption are the only two things Cohen is an expert on, but he knows the subject. You can also talk to William Barr and Jeff Sessions. Hell, talk to Mitch McConnell, who carried Donald Trump’s water for four years yet found himself on the nasty end of mean tweets after acknowledging Joe Biden won the election.

Hawley should talk to McConnell and fellow Republican senator Ben Sasse.

Senator Sasse said this was an attempt to “disenfranchise millions of Americans” and wrote an open letter stating, “Let’s be clear what is happening here: We have a bunch of ambitious politicians who think there’s a quick way to tap into the president’s populist base without doing any real, long-term damage. But they’re wrong, and this issue is bigger than anyone’s personal ambitions. Adults don’t point a loaded gun at the heart of legitimate self-government.”

And there are a “bunch” of them seeking to disenfranchise millions of Americans. According to reports, when Congress counts the electoral college votes this coming Wednesday, at least 140 Republicans in the House are going to object. That’s 140 members of Congress who will object to democracy. That’s just in the house. How many Republicans will join Hawley in the Senate? Hell, these goons are even suing Mike Pence over his mostly ceremonial duty of overseeing the electoral count in Congress.

Joe Biden won the election. The same process and procedures that have confirmed Joe Biden is the president-elect are the exact same ones that confirmed Donald Trump in 2016. On January 6, Congress will confirm that Joe Biden is the next duly-elected president of the United States of America on January 20, he will be sworn into office. Donald Trump will not be president after January 20.

In case you’re a Republican, that’s not a prediction. It’s a spoiler.

Note: I dedicate this cartoon to my friend and fellow cartoonist Bob Quick. He’s been very supportive of my career and the poor bastard lives in Missouri. He also sent me a wonderful drawing of Josh Hawley with a horse head. I told him he drew the wrong end. Hang in there, Bob.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Update on book: They’re here but…I forgot to order envelopes. Shit. Envelopes are on the way. I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have assumed I had enough on hand. I swear that about 30 book envelopes disappeared out of my apartment.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Georgia Stretch


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There are several people who do not deserve to be United States senators. Some lack the intelligence like Mississippi’s Cindy Hyde Smith. Others don’t actually want to do the job like Florida’s Marco Rubio. Some are lying, sniveling bastards using the position to be national demagogues like Ted Cruz and Tom Cotton. Some are such assholes that there have been incidents where constituents have failed to control themselves from physically attacking and giving them the beatings of their lives, like Rand Paul. Others lack the morals, integrity, and courage a United States Senator should have. Georgia’s Kelly Loeffler is one of those individuals.

Like Arizona’s Martha McSally, who was rejected for the Senate twice and was only in there because of an appointment, Kelly Loeffler has yet to win the votes of her constituents. Unfortunately, she’s on her way.

Loeffler was appointed to the job by Georgia’s governor Brian Kemp after Senator Brian Isakson resigned for health reasons. After Donald Trump started attacking Governor Kemp, even suggesting he should go to prison for not stealing an election for him, Kelly Loeffler rushed to the defense of the man who gave her a U.S. Senate seat, and without whom, she wouldn’t be a legitimate candidate for that seat today. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Just kidding. After Donald Trump started attacking Kemp, Loeffler, being the type of loyal person she is, said…nothing. Kelly Loeffler is a coward.

If anything, Loeffler has sought to validate the bullshit propaganda and lies that the election was rigged and stolen. She, along with Georgia’s other stupid lowlife senator, David Perdue, called for the resignation of the secretary of state, Brad Raffensperger. She supported a lawsuit by Donald Trump to overturn the election.

Another reason she shouldn’t be a U.S. Senator is that she shows more support for fascism than democracy. She wants to throw out an election and steal the votes from from American voters. She wants to steal their Constitutional rights.

But, wait. Kelly Loeffler wants to throw out an election that put her in the runoff. Somehow, outside nefarious forces and secret agents of ill repute got their hands on the Georgia ballots, switched votes from Trump to Joe Biden while not fucking with the votes for Loeffler and Perdue. Loeffler and Perdue were NOT on separate ballots from Trump and Biden. THEY WERE ON THE SAME FUCKING BALLOTS!!!

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted. But have you actually taken a hard look at their arguments?

Kelly Loeffler has refused to say she won’t engage in any shenanigans when the electoral college arrives in the Senate. She hasn’t rejected the stupid calls for Donald Trump’s theory of “alternate” electors. When asked about acknowledging that Joe Biden is the president-elect, she said, “The president (sic) has a right to every legal recourse.” He does…and he’s out of them.

Pay attention, kids. The Constitution says the electors must meet on the same date and Congress chooses that date. That happened last Monday. The electors have met. They voted. Joe Biden is the president-elect. There are no “alternate” electors. Any move to disallow the actual electors, who have already done their job as the Constitution to the United States has specified, would be UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!! Sorry. I shouted again.

So, Kelly Loeffler wants Georgians to vote for her in an election in a state where she claims the people managing the elections are corrupt….in a runoff she reached by securing enough votes in an election she calls corrupt…for a position in the United States Senate even though she is in favor of the undemocratic and un-Constitutional positions of invalidating an election.

It’s a good thing she’s doing this pandering shit to a base of conspiratorial nutjobs in Georgia, because that state has already sent one member of Qanon to Congress.

Vladimir Putin has acknowledged Joe Biden as the president-elect. Kelly Loeffler is slower than Putin in supporting democracy…and she wants to be a United States senator?

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (14 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Hillary’s Pom-Poms


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As we get closer and closer to the day that Donald Trump becomes the actual president of the United States and we wake up and discover it’s not just a horrible, truly terrifying, blood-curdling nightmare That even the most hateful and evil demons from Hell wouldn’t inflict upon humanity, some people are realizing that maybe we should stop this. They’re looking toward the people who actually elect the president. They’re looking to the electors.

Even a few electors are expressing concern and want to be briefed by the CIA to find out just how bad this Russia stuff is. Did we just have a coup and mistake it for rampant stupidity on our parts?

The Trump transition has been a bigger disaster than the Republican convention. He has spent the entire time since the election proving he’s unqualified and totally uninterested in the details of the job. We have a president-elect who is such a narcissist that he doesn’t believe anyone can educate him or tell him something he doesn’t know. He’s rejecting what our nation’s intelligence tells him and instead is relying on InfoWars talking points to counter their message, as if our security is a game.

He’s appointing people to his cabinet and inner circle who aren’t qualified or are Vladimir-approved. He’s allowing his business interest to supersede his duties as president. He’s setting himself up to be blackmailed by third-world nations such as Turkey. Does Trump want a new hotel in Istanbul to be built bad enough that he’ll extradite a man to be executed by President Erdogan, a notable fascist whose sources of information are also as reliable as Breitbart? The rest of us might be stuck eating borscht for the rest of our lives, but Trump will have a sweet tower in downtown Istanbul.

So we look to the last line of defense to save our nation. Partisan Republicans. Republican electors hold the key to deny Trump the presidency. But how do you convince a bunch of Republicans not to vote for the man who won the electoral college? You don’t. You convince Democrats to give up on the pipe dream of electing Hillary and have them work with just enough Republicans willing to defect to elect a different Republican  to the presidency.

Will that sound tempting to enough Republicans to sway them not to cast their vote for Trump? Maybe. But who will be that candidate? The Democrats have gotta let them decide and just prepare for the bad taste of a Republican they’re not going to like, but will not plunge the nation into World War III over a tweet, or because he missed an intelligence briefing for another pep rally, or he had to hang out with Kanye.

Maybe you can convince them to go for the best option which would be John Kasich (who’s already said “leave me out of this”). Hell, Democrats could live with Mitt Romney at this point. He’s got a lot of poop on his nose right now but that should wash off. They’d even go for Mike Pence, as terrible and utterly terrifying as that sounds. Hell, they’d even go for Ted Cruz….no they wouldn’t. I’ve gone too far.

What’s possible is that the electors don’t elect a president. They vote between three candidates and none acquire the necessary 270 voters. Then it’d go to the House of Representatives which is run by very rational and reasonable Republicans. Crap. But it’s still possible enough Republicans there can bond with House Democrats to send that third option to the White House. If the Democrats gave them Scott Walker they’d probably bite.

Is this scenario actually possible? Yes. The electors are human beings. Even the Republicans. They have to have a soul in there somewhere. They are capable of realizing what a planet-destroying asteroid of a disaster Trump is…maybe. It’s also possible you can find at least 36 Republican electors who are more patriotic than partisan. Maybe. Can you get all of the Democratic electors to go along with this? No, but maybe enough. Personally, I would eat a live rattlesnake to prevent Trump from becoming president. I would spend the rest of the year with the only song in my head being that hippopotamus tune from that Christmas commercial. I would spend an entire weekend listening to Nickelback on a loop. I would sit through a Tyler Perry marathon. I will watch Two Broke Girls.

Is this going to happen? No. On December 19 the electors will vote making Donald Trump the actual freaking president of the United States of America and light the fuse that will ultimately obliterate our nation.

There is one thing to keep in mind and that is nothing has gone as expected during this entire election process.

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