I just realized this is your Friday the 13th cartoon. Could there be a better subject for Friday the 13th than George Zimmerman?
You remember George Zimmerman. He’s that jerk who shot a teenager for walking through his neighborhood in 2012. Zimmy was a volunteer neighborhood watchman and a wannabe Dirty Harry. He’s more like a dangerous Barney Fife.
The Zimster, who was in his late 20’s, called in complaining about teenager Trayvon Martin, who was walking through his neighborhood armed with Skittles and a soda. Zimmerman was told by the police to stand down. George had a habit of calling the police every time something alarming happened in his neighborhood. Black kid in a hoodie better call the cops, frog farts better call the cops, etc. So George is told to not worry about the kid and to wait on police, as if the kid walking was criminal behavior. Instead of standing down, George confronts the kid, who he outweighs by a hundred pounds, and gets into a fight, and ends up shooting and killing Trayvon Martin, because he was in “fear for his life.” Then a jury acquitted him of second-degree murder because it’s Florida and stupid things happen in Florida. The defense argued Zimmerman acted in self defense under Florida’s Stand Your Ground law. This law basically says if you’re in fear for your life you can kill someone.
Conservatives jumped to the defense of Zimmerman. His life was in danger. He was defending the neighborhood. His motives are pure and exceptional.
Since his acquittal George’s motives have not been so pure and exceptional.
In 2013 Zimmerman’s estranged wife called the cops claiming George was threatening her and had punched her father. She later dropped the charges.
Later in the same year George had a girlfriend and he was arrested for aggravated assault with a weapon. According to the girlfriend George was asked to leave her house so he pointed a shotgun at her and started breaking her stuff. He barricaded himself in her home when the cops got there, who have all become familiar with George on a first name basis by this point.
In 2015 he was arrested on aggravated assault charges for throwing a wine bottle at his ex girlfriend. This was a shocking development as everyone assumed his wine would only come from a box. I don’t know if it’s the same girlfriend from the 2013 incident. Maybe this guy has an awesome match.com profile (loves walks on the beach, unicorns, rainbows, probably won’t shoot you). Those charges were later dropped by the girl.
In 2013 George took up painting and sold a piece of his on eBay for $100,099.99. What? I’m sure the buyer didn’t purchase it because of Zimmerman’s connection to killing a kid and the artwork was phenomenal. Turns out the artwork was a forgery. George painted over a stock image of the American flag which you can find for free on the internet. Free is much cheaper than $100,099.99. And to think I’ve wasted over 20 years actually drawing my own stuff for much less than what George received. Of course, I also have not gained the love and affection from those who admire a kid killer.
In 2015 George started selling prints of a painting of the Confederate flag at a store that gained notoriety for banning Muslims. Kid killer, Confederate flag, and Islamophobia. That’s one uplifting combination right there that should warm the cockles of anyone’s heart. If you can’t feel your cockles heating up there’s gotta be something wrong with you. George has received much criticism for his artwork and further allegations of forgery.
George has also spent constructive time on Twitter where he has referred to President Obama as a “baboon.” Replying to death threats, or just people wishing he’d die peacefully without incident, he tweeted “the United States understands how it ended for the last moron that hit me,” which is a reference to him shooting Trayvon Martin. Glad he’s proud of that.
He later retweeted a photo of Trayvon’s slain body with the caption “Z-Man is a one man army.” I’m glad the remorse isn’t keeping him awake at night.
Not done with Twitter, the “Z-Man” tweeted out a topless photo of a woman he claimed was his ex-girlfriend, along with her address and phone number and the comment “This is [blank]. She cheated on me with a dirty Muslim. She’ll sleep with anyone.” In George’s defense on this one, all evidence does point out that the girl would sleep with anyone.
After being banned from Twitter (suprised?) George had to come up with something else and this week it was a doozy. He decided to auction off the gun he used to shoot Martin. He plans to use some of the money on attacking Hillary Clinton, Black Lives Matter, preventing violence against police, and to destroy the prosecutor’s career who went after him for shooting a 17-year-old kid. Zimmerman claims the gun is a “piece of history.” Much like his artwork, many people consider it murderabilia.
George also claims the Smithsonian wanted to display the gun. The Smithsonian has Twitter also and used it to call B.S. on George. George started the bidding at $5,000 for a gun that has a $200.00 value.
George has encountered difficulty auctioning off his gun. The first auction site where he posted the listing removed it. He posted it again on another auction site which also removed it. The Z-Man has publicity herpes. If you become affiliated with him you’ll acquire it also and it lasts forever. Nobody likes scabby publicity.
I for one am looking forward to Z-Man’s next initiative. My last cartoon received a comment from Clinton accuser Kathleen Willey. Maybe George will also Google himself and find his name here and leave a comment. Aw crap. I just realized Willey is gonna google this again. Hmmm…George and Kathleen. Eh? I mean, they both hate Hillary Clinton.
Wanna see the black and white version? I tried something different.
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