George Zimmerman

Exonerated Riff Raff


cjones04012019

Yesterday, I asked on Twitter, “How in the hell did Jussie Smollett get away with committing a crime? He’s not a white Republican.”

True irony is Republicans laughing at liberals and calling them snowflakes over Trump kinda sorta being cleared by the Special Counsel, then getting upset that charges have been dropped for Jussie Smollett.

Yesterday, Chicago prosecutors dropped all charges against actor Jussie Smollett, who has been accused of creating a hate crime hoax. The city’s mayor and police department are highly outraged at this, not that you’ll ever see them get this angry over actual hate crimes.

That goes for the icky conservatives on social media too. People who have never acknowledged a hate crime incident in their entire lives were livid over Smollet’s supposed hoax. I say “supposed” because guess what…he hasn’t been found guilty. Legally, I can’t say he did it.

Prosecutors kept Smollett’s bond and acknowledged his community service and clean record before the hate crime incident. They said he’s not a danger to the public and if you’ve seen him, you would have to agree.

Smollett immediately declared himself innocent, as he’s been doing all along. That really upset his critics, but you can’t blame him. If they let you go and drop all charges, why sell yourself out now?

It’s extremely rare for prosecutors to let someone go without receiving a plea agreement. They probably could have gotten a guilty plea out of the guy in exchange for dropping some of the 16 charges against him. Perhaps it’s the number of charges as to why they dropped the entire case. Perhaps they were afraid a trial would have exposed something about the police department’s investigation. This is Chicago.

If Smollett did perpetuate a hoax, it is outrageous and does serious harm to people who report actual hate crimes, which conservatives never pay attention to anyway. But, 16 charges? The Chicago P.D. went after Smollett as if he was Osama bin Laden. The city hadn’t seen a scofflaw of this ill repute since Al Capone.  Skinny gay actor terrorizes city. Film at eleven. Lock up your daughters…no, wait. They’re safe.

I’m less outraged over Smollett than I am at a racist toddler in collusion with Russians while having his finger on the nuclear trigger. What? No collusion? Forget the campaign, he’s in collusion with them now.

I hate what Smollett did, but if it pisses Trump supporters off, then I’m glad he got off. I’ll trade the conviction to watch the irony. The sweet, sweet irony.

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Zimmerman Murderabilia


cjones05132016

I just realized this is your Friday the 13th cartoon. Could there be a better subject for Friday the 13th than George Zimmerman?

You remember George Zimmerman. He’s that jerk who shot a teenager for walking through his neighborhood in 2012. Zimmy was a volunteer neighborhood watchman and a wannabe Dirty Harry. He’s more like a dangerous Barney Fife.

The Zimster, who was in his late 20’s, called in complaining about teenager Trayvon Martin, who was walking through his neighborhood armed with Skittles and a soda. Zimmerman was told by the police to stand down. George had a habit of calling the police every time something alarming happened in his neighborhood. Black kid in a hoodie better call the cops, frog farts better call the cops, etc. So George is told to not worry about the kid and to wait on police, as if the kid walking was criminal behavior. Instead of standing down, George confronts the kid, who he outweighs by a hundred pounds, and gets into a fight, and ends up shooting and killing Trayvon Martin, because he was in “fear for his life.” Then a jury acquitted him of second-degree murder because it’s Florida and stupid things happen in Florida. The defense argued Zimmerman acted in self defense under Florida’s Stand Your Ground law. This law basically says if you’re in fear for your life you can kill someone.

Conservatives jumped to the defense of Zimmerman. His life was in danger. He was defending the neighborhood. His motives are pure and exceptional.

Since his acquittal George’s motives have not been so pure and exceptional.

In 2013 Zimmerman’s estranged wife called the cops claiming George was threatening her and had punched her father. She later dropped the charges.

Later in the same year George had a girlfriend and he was arrested for aggravated assault with a weapon. According to the girlfriend George was asked to leave her house so he pointed a shotgun at her and started breaking her stuff. He barricaded himself in her home when the cops got there, who have all become familiar with George on a first name basis by this point.

In 2015 he was arrested on aggravated assault charges for throwing a wine bottle at his ex girlfriend. This was a shocking development as everyone assumed his wine would only come from a box. I don’t know if it’s the same girlfriend from the 2013 incident. Maybe this guy has an awesome match.com profile (loves walks on the beach, unicorns, rainbows, probably won’t shoot you). Those charges were later dropped by the girl.

In 2013 George took up painting and sold a piece of his on eBay for $100,099.99. What? I’m sure the buyer didn’t purchase it because of Zimmerman’s connection to killing a kid and the artwork was phenomenal. Turns out the artwork was a forgery. George painted over a stock image of the American flag which you can find for free on the internet. Free is much cheaper than $100,099.99. And to think I’ve wasted over 20 years actually drawing my own stuff for much less than what George received. Of course, I also have not gained the love and affection from those who admire a kid killer.

In 2015 George started selling prints of a painting of the Confederate flag at a store that gained notoriety for banning Muslims. Kid killer, Confederate flag, and Islamophobia. That’s one uplifting combination right there that should warm the cockles of anyone’s heart. If you can’t feel your cockles heating up there’s gotta be something wrong with you. George has received much criticism for his artwork and further allegations of forgery.

George has also spent constructive time on Twitter where he has referred to President Obama as a “baboon.” Replying to death threats, or just people wishing he’d die peacefully without incident, he tweeted “the United States understands how it ended for the last moron that hit me,” which is a reference to him shooting Trayvon Martin. Glad he’s proud of that.

He later retweeted a photo of Trayvon’s slain body with the caption  “Z-Man is a one man army.” I’m glad the remorse isn’t keeping him awake at night.

Not done with Twitter, the “Z-Man” tweeted out a topless photo of a woman he claimed was his ex-girlfriend, along with her address and phone number and the comment “This is [blank]. She cheated on me with a dirty Muslim. She’ll sleep with anyone.” In George’s defense on this one, all evidence does point out that the girl would sleep with anyone.

After being banned from Twitter (suprised?) George had to come up with something else and this week it was a doozy. He decided to auction off the gun he used to shoot Martin. He plans to use some of the money on attacking Hillary Clinton, Black Lives Matter, preventing violence against police, and to destroy the prosecutor’s career who went after him for shooting a 17-year-old kid. Zimmerman claims the gun is a “piece of history.” Much like his artwork, many people consider it murderabilia.

George also claims the Smithsonian wanted to display the gun. The Smithsonian has Twitter also and used it to call B.S. on George. George started the bidding at $5,000 for a gun that has a $200.00 value.

George has encountered difficulty auctioning off his gun. The first auction site where he posted the listing removed it. He posted it again on another auction site which also removed it. The Z-Man has publicity herpes. If you become affiliated with him you’ll acquire it also and it lasts forever. Nobody likes scabby publicity.

I for one am looking forward to Z-Man’s next initiative. My last cartoon received a comment from Clinton accuser Kathleen Willey. Maybe George will also Google himself and find his name here and leave a comment. Aw crap. I just realized Willey is gonna google this again. Hmmm…George and Kathleen. Eh? I mean, they both hate Hillary Clinton.

Wanna see the black and white version? I tried something different.

cjones05132016

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How Do You Like Him Now?


cjones01142015

When George Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon Martin every conservative in the universe backed up his argument. They chose to believe this guy, who stalked a kid he outweighed, was in mortal danger of being killed so he had to shoot the kid.

Now Mr. Zimmerman is accused of assaulting his girlfriend with a wine bottle. Apparently they disagreed over some art. I’m betting it was that dogs playing poker painting. Anyway, Zimmerman is innocent until proven guilty. What I’m waiting for is that long line of Zimmerman defenders to return and defend this guy. I’m sure you can start up another defense fund for the “gentleman.”

As I recall, conservatives argued Trayvon was a thug, what skulking in neighborhoods where he shouldn’t be, armed with skittles. Let’s see how conservatives describe Zimmerman’s girlfriend. C’mon, guys. She called your hero a psychopath. You can’t stand for that!

C’mon. Let’s play.

How do you like him now?