Black Lives Matter

Another Tome of Titillating Trump Tales


Mark Esper has a book on his brief time as Donald Trump’s Secretary of Defense, and the book contains some wild accusations…that are totally believable.

One of the accusations is that during a meeting in 2020, Donald Trump wanted to deploy 10,000 troops to the streets of Washington, DC, where Black Lives Matter was protesting against police brutality, and have them shot in the legs. The guy who teargassed Black Lives Matter protesters in order to stage a photo-op with an upside-down Bible and later had a photo-op with Kyle Rittenhouse to celebrate his acquittal after shooting and killing Black Lives Matter protesters said Esper is lying.

Esper also claims Trump called the protesters “fucking losers.” How is any of this difficult to believe?

Trump said, “This is a complete lie, and ten witnesses can back it up,” without providing any names of the supposed ten witnesses.

According to Esper, Trump also wanted to fire missiles into Mexico at suspected drug cartels. This was probably around the time Trump was coming up with amazing ideas like building moats on the border with Mexico and stocking them with alligators, snakes, and piranhas.

Trump also wanted to reactivate retired Admiral William McRaven, a former Navy SEAL commander, and US Army General Stanley McChrystal so he could court-martial them for criticizing him. He wanted to send people to jail for saying bad things about him. This isn’t hard to believe since Trump accused over 24 people of treason for criticizing him. He once claimed Democrats committed treason for not clapping during one of his ridiculous State of the Union speeches. According to Esper, Trump claimed the retired military men were “disloyal” to him. This is banana republic fascism with a combover.

Esper wrote that “people were removed from positions simply because the White House wanted to replace them with more hard-core Trump loyalists, regardless of qualifications.” We know this is true. We watched it in real-time for four years. Trump fired people for testifying against him before Congress, like Alexander Vindman. He removed security clearances for former officials like former CIA Director John Brennan. Trump fired FBI Director James Comey for investigating him and even bragged to the Russians about it in the Oval Office, saying, “I faced great pressure because of Russia. That’s taken off.” He fired FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe hours before he was set to retire, thus trying to rob him of his pension and other benefits. McCabe later sued and won his pension and other benefits back. This was a move that costs taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal defense. Trump is petty, vindictive, a sociopath, and stupid.

Esper also claims that Trump goon and hair-in-a-can aficionado Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller wanted him to dispatch 250,000 troops to the southern border and have the military parade the severed head of a slain ISIS leader to scare off other terrorists.

Trump denies some of the claims while calling Mark Esper “Yesper,” as in he was so eager to please Trump, that he said “yes” to everything…while also being “ineffective.” Somehow to Trump, he was an ineffective ass kisser. But wasn’t everyone in the Trump administration an ass kisser? Weren’t they all Yespers?

Trump isn’t denying wanting to shoot rockets into Mexico. He gave a “no comment” to that one. He hasn’t denied other claims, like wanting to pull all our troops out of South Korea. What will Trump do if he runs for president again, and oh my god, actually wins?

If Trump becomes president (sic) again, he will pull troops out of South Korea, place them on our southern border, fire rockets into Mexico, try to build a moat full of piranhas, disband NATO, throw people into military prisons for saying bad things about it, ram through more unqualified fundamentalist judges, dismantle free elections, outlaw a free press, and help Vladimir Putin finally defeat Ukraine then invite him to the Oval Office for a bucket from KFC and Big Macs. This isn’t hyperbole because it’s what he tried to do the first time. If he gets a second shot, nobody’s going to be able to stop him because those who can speak out won’t so they can sell a book two years later.

Trump fired Esper right after he lost the 2020 election because it was his last chance to fire him. Esper should have spoken out before, like when Trump was talking about shooting protesters and firing rockets into Mexico.

Esper’s book is titled “A Sacred Oath.” But what oath is he talking about because the one he took to be Secretary of Defense was an oath to protect our nation, and he failed to do that in order to get a big payday.

Donald Trump is a lunatic and a vile sociopath. It’s sociopathic to let him get away with it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Deshaun Watson


Cleveland Browns owners Dee and Jimmy Haslam wrote, “We spent a tremendous amount of time exploring and investigating the opportunity to trade for Deshaun Watson. We are confident in Deshaun and excited about moving forward with him as our quarterback.”

If they actually investigated Watson, they would have found there are at least 22 accusations of sexual abuse against the guy but just one incident of protesting racism by kneeling during the national anthem. Protesting racism can really ruin a guy’s NFL career but sexual abuse, yeah, not so much.

Donald Trump attacked Colin Kaepernick and black NFL players for protesting social injustice and racism by saying if he was an NFL owner (something the NFL wisely said hell to the no to), he would have screamed, “Fire that son of a bitch.” Though if Trump was ever actually an owner of an NFL team and had to fire a “son of a bitch,” he would have had someone else do it. Since the owners of all 32 teams in the NFL are spineless billionaire white cowards, most of whom probably voted for spineless billionaire white coward Trump, not one team would give Kap a real tryout, so don’t even mention hiring the guy. I can’t fathom the idea that every one of the 91 quarterbacks in the NFL is better than Colin Kaepernick.

Fortunately for DeShaun Watson, Donald Trump never scared the NFL by saying “fire that son of a bitch” to players who commit sexual assault. I will bet you a ton of Brett Favre penis-phone pics it never crossed Donald Trump’s mind.

A Texas grand jury declined to bring criminal charges against Deshaun Watson from the accusations of 22 accusers. When a grand jury ignores 22 accusers, it means a prosecutor didn’t want to bring charges. Also, this was in Texas which many believe despite being one of the 50 United States, is actually a third-world country.

Watson’s accusers claim his sexual harassment and abuse occurred during massage sessions. Watson and his lawyers admit he had sex with some of the accusers, but that it was all consensual and whatever happened was “mutually desired.”

Watson was so tainted by the accusations that his own team, the Houston Texans, declined to play him for the entire 2021 season. The Browns said they weren’t interested in Watson and they had a first-round QB in Baker Mayfield, but then turned around and traded three number one draft picks, and then some, to bring in the Texan QB, then signed him to the largest guaranteed contract in NFL history. That is $80 million more than the previous record for fully guaranteed money at signing. Now, Watson has $230 million to settle those 22 civil lawsuits.

The NFL has a history of not caring about sexual assault and is now accused of cultivating a rape culture. There are currently 15 women accusing Washington Commanders (I’m still not used to that name) employees and owner Dan Snyder of sexual harassment and verbal abuse. Patriots owner Robert Kraft was accused of soliciting sex during a Florida massage, but cops dropped that investigation because, you know, Florida. The NFL bans players who are convicted of sexual assault, but they’re pretty much free to play until a conviction comes in. Not sure exactly how they would handle an owner convicted of being a gropey billionaire (The “Gropey Billionaires” would make a great punk rock band name).

The NFL is still investigating Watson, but Cleveland did not trade three number one draft picks and sign the guy to $230 million guaranteed if they believed he won’t play. The NFL has much more tolerance for sexual harassment than it does for protesting against racism. Hell, the NFL has more tolerance for running a dogfighting business than it does for anti-racism protesters.

Deshaun Watson has escaped accountability. Sure, he’s innocent until proven guilty, but can 22 accusers be lying? The only people who used to believe that are Donald Trump and MAGAts. All those women are lying, and in the case of mall food court aficionado Roy Moore, he said he didn’t do it.

Perhaps the only justice being served here is that Deshaun Watson now has to play for the Cleveland Browns. At the least, they’re an organization terrible at judging character.

Music Note: I must have been in the mood to rock with women while drawing today because I listened to Alanis Morisette, the Cranberries, Garbage, and even a couple of tunes by Olivia Newton-John.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Boo-Hoos Matter


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Is this a trend now? Any time one of these goons shoots a black person or people at a Black Lives Matter protest, you’ll get off if you cry in court? White tears can be very powerful with white jurors and white judges…even if there aren’t any actual tears.

Kim Potter, a Brooklyn Center, Minnesota cop (since resigned), killed Daunte Wright, an unarmed black man, with her Glock pistol, claiming she confused it with her taser. The jury is now deliberating verdicts on two charges of manslaughter. That’s basically two charges of oops, you killed someone. Maybe you should be able to go home.

The cops pulled Wright over because of an expired license plate, and an air freshener hanging from his rearview mirror. Driving with an air freshener dangling from a rearview mirror is illegal in Minnesota, but I bet you’ve never heard of a white person being stopped for it.

The cops pulled Wright over. They discovered there were outstanding warrants for the guy. Two cops, one being a trainee, attempt to arrest him, there was a struggle, and then Kim Potter springs into action. She was actually training the trainee. This person who should not have been a cop was training someone to be a cop.

Potter had a taser on her left hip. She had her gun on her right hip. She pulled out the gun alerted and her fellow officers by screaming “taser” three times, so they’d get out of the way and not be tased. As we all know by now, she didn’t pull out and point her taser. She pulled out her gun. She shot and killed Daunte Wright.

Potter had an emotional breakdown on the scene. And then she had an emotional breakdown on the witness stand during her trial.

Potter was perfectly composed on the stand before her tearless breakdown. And she was perfectly composed again after.

Her lawyer said, “A mistake is not a crime.” I’m not a lawyer but I know that sometimes, a mistake can be a crime. Courts have sent people to prison for mistakes in the past.

Potter’s lawyer also blamed Daunte Wright for his death. He said, “Daunte Wright caused his own death because he tried to climb back into his car as he was being handcuffed, and if he’d only thrown his hands up in surrender, none of this would have happened. Potter made a mistake.”

That’s some serious white privilege there. You shoot a black guy and then claim it’s his fault for being shot.

Resisting arrest should not be a death sentence. A cop shouldn’t be judge, jury, and executioner no more than a 17-year-old boy out after curfew armed with an assault rifle playing Rambo.

After 26 years on a police force, a cop should know the differences between a black metal gun and a plastic neon yellow taser that’s a pound lighter. The cop should be able to know which is which without even looking since one is heavier than the other and they’ve both been on different sides of her waist for years. If I can tell the difference between a Microsoft Surface Pen and an Apple Pencil with my eyes closed, then a cop with 26 years of experience should be able to tell the difference between a gun and a taser.

Like Rittenhouse’s jury, Potter’s is mostly white. Like Rittenhouse, Potter’s crying contained more sound effects than tears. She only has to trick, I mean convince one juror.

Kyle Rittenhouse’s legal team hired the person who helped O.J. Simpson’s legal team select a jury. Maybe Potter’s legal team hired Rittenhouse’s acting coach.

Music note: Today’s cartoon didn’t take very long but I still managed to squeeze in a few tunes by Warren Zevon and Elton John while drawing.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Horse Sense


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First off, for most people who support and chant “defund the police,” it’s not literally about eliminating police departments. Second, despite what fuckers like Tucker will repeatedly tell you, President Biden has NEVER expressed support for “defunding the police” or eliminating police. Even though it’s on public record, Republicans keep lying about it.

A lot of Democrats have criticized the slogan and movement. Despite that, Republicans have used it against them and will continue to do so. Fuck facts, right? They’re Republicans.

“Defund the Police” is mostly a slogan while there are more serious efforts to reduce funding and restructure police departments in addition to redistributing police responsibilities to other government agencies. Slogans that are more than three words just are not as catchy. Ever been to a Trump rally? “Lock her up,” “space force,” “build the wall,” “send them back,” “save whitey,” “I got crabs,” are all catchy and extremely limited. For the Black Lives Matter movement, “defund the police” is catchier than “reduce police department budgets so they stop buying tanks and rocket launchers.”

A 2020 study by The Washington Post showed that since 1960, around the time cops were buying water hoses and billy clubs for crowd control on black Americans protesting against discrimination and for civil rights, police spending has increased 800 percent while there’s been a minuscule drop in the national crime rate.

As for redistributing responsibilities for the police, why are they in charge of homelessness, mental health, and substance abuse? Did you know that one in four people killed by cops suffers from severe mental illness? Taking money from cops so they can’t buy bazookas, and giving it to more capable agencies, like mental health counseling, is a good idea. Maybe we can chant “demilitarize the police?” Too many syllables?

In case you’re a Republican, a syllable is a unit of pronunciation having more than one vowel sound without surrounding consonants. “Demilitarize” has five syllables. Notice that each syllable has at least one vowel. Vowels are the letters a, e, i, o, u. Tomorrow, we’ll do consonants. Anyway, nobody’s going to chant it.

Most people don’t support defunding the police or even reallocating resources and responsiblities. But most people don’t understand what they’re talking about on this issue. A lot of them are being lied to. Lies work. For example, Virginia made Glenn Youngkin governor over fear of something that doesn’t exist. Now, we have book burnings in Virginia. It’s shit like this that makes me turn off the news on Saturdays and watch something like “Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.”

Donald Trump leads the way for Republicans lying about where Democrats stand on defunding the police. He tweeted, before he got banned for using Twitter to coordinate a terrorist attack to destroy our democracy and constitution, “The Radical Left Democrats new theme is ‘Defund the Police.’ Remember that when you don’t want Crime, especially against you and your family. This is where Sleepy Joe is being dragged by the socialists. I am the complete opposite, more money for Law Enforcement!” he tapped off the tweet with a hashtag about law and order, which is another example of Republicans missing the irony. Also, looking at how Trump needed to capitalize “radical,” “left,” “crime” and “law enforcement” makes me think we need to reallocate money from cops and into educating old crusty-ass racist orange politicians.

But the reality is that a majority of Democrats don’t support defunding the police. President Biden is totally opposed to defunding police and is in favor or reform.

Bernie Sanders, who nobody will argue is a moderate, is also opposed to defunding police and has spoken out for more accountability from police, along with better education and training, and making their job better defined. Republicans are probably against all that too.

Senator Cory Booker said he understood the sentiment behind the slogan but would not use it.

Congressional Caucus chair Karen Black said, “”I do think that, in cities, in states, we need to look at how we are spending the resources and invest more in our communities. Maybe this is an opportunity to re-envision public safety.” Pfft. Republicans don’t want to do that.

House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn said, “‘Defund the police’ is killing our party, and we’ve got to stop it.” Clyburn compared the slogan “defund the police” to “burn, baby, burn” used in the 1960s which many believe alienated and undermined support for the Civil Rights Movement.

“Defund the police” has been credited for Democrats losing House seats in 2020. It may have saved a few Republican Senate seats as well. Republicans are much better at messaging than Democrats, even if they are all lies.

While Republicans argue against defunding the police, they support the white nationalists who wounded Capitol Police during their insurrection, accused one of the cops of murdering one of their terrorists when he “stood his ground” and shot her as she was attempting to break into the Speaker’s office, and the GOP voted against awarding medals to the Capitol Police. Irony, irony, irony, motherfuckers.

Where do Republicans in Congress stand on defunding the Capitol Police Department? Maybe they’re not needed since Lauren Boebert is bringing a gun to the House Floor every day.

While cops are arguing against any reform, they also support white vigilantes. In Kenosha, they patted racist vigilantes on the back, gave them water, and drove by past Kyle Rittenhouse very slowly after he had just shot three people, killing two of them.

Kyle Rittenhouse wasn’t even tried for being a vigilante as the judge in his case accepted before the trial that he was in Kenosha to clean graffiti and offer medical assistance he wasn’t qualified to give. The judge decided the gun he couldn’t purchase legally was legal for him to skulk around the city with. The judge never questioned why graffiti could only be cleaned after Kyle’s curfew. The judge never questioned if the person Kyle shot was possibly defending himself. If Kyle can claim self-defense because the guy he killed pulled out a gun, then why couldn’t the person he shot make the same claim. In case you forgot, Kyle already had his gun out. And if it was legal in Wisconsin for Kyle to terrorize people with a gun at his age, then why isn’t it legal in that state for Kyle to buy the gun? Did Wisconsin become Florida?

My point with that is, the judge and the jury, joined the Kenosha Police Department in supporting vigilantes. If we’re going to bring in vigilantes, and the cops are going to ignore when they kill people, then why do we need cops? Maybe we can just defund and get rid of the racist cops? What’s that you say? Then there won’t be any cops?

The real irony is we need to defund the police so we can fund some police to police the police.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Justice For Ahmaud


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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There goes the neighborhood…but in a good way


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Enjoy the cartoon. I’m taking the rest of Thanksgiving off. I’ll blog on this soon enough.

Have a happy Thanksgiving, readers.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Turkeys For Rittenhouse


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Thanks to the verdict in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial where he got off on all four charges that involved killing two people and wounding one, in addition to having two other charges thrown out, it’s now right-wing white nationalist hunting season on anti-racism protesters.

The law-and-order party is championing vigilantism to run rampant throughout the nation. They’re championing minors to patrol streets with automatic weapons they can’t own legally. They’re championing minor vigilantes lying about their age and their medical credentials. They’re championing minors taking AR-15s to clean graffiti and give medical attention.

The law-and-order party is praising that a minor with an assault rifle killed a registered sex offender. Basically, the law-and-order party is saying, “Fuck trials, fuck the trials that already sentenced the guy, fuck his probation, and fuck whether or not you know he’s a pedophile.” Oh, yeah. Funny thing. It doesn’t matter if one of Kyle’s victims was a pedophile or a Catholic priest. Shit. Bad example. Anyway, Kyle, the slapper of teenage girls, is the gunhumpers’ champion against pedophilia. By the way, most of these people excited over Kyle killing a pedophile are silent over pedophiles in the Catholic Church.

Kyle, the guy who flashes the universal white power symbol while drinking underage with a bunch of Proud Boys (no, it wasn’t a gay bar…I think), is the right’s champion of shooting people for protesting against racism.

Thanks to a corrupt judge and a corrupt system, Kyle gets to spend Thanksgiving with his racist mother. And I guarantee you this…

It’s also going to be a white Christmas.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: 

Looking For Trouble


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The entire legal defense for Kyle Rittenhouse is that he shot three people, killing two, in self-defense. But there’s a funny thing about looking for trouble. Usually, when you look for trouble, you find it.

Kyle Rittenhouse went looking for trouble. He crossed states to a city he didn’t live in, went to a friend’s house in that city to pick up an AR-15 his friend bought for him because Rittenhouse was too young to purchase it at that time, then went to an anti-racism protest. At that protest, he wandered off from all the other racist gun humpers and shot three people.

Before Kyle “defended himself,” he skulked around with the other gun-wielding self-appointed vigilantes and told big fat chunky lies.

It’s always been my opinion that if you have to lie to support your position, then you’re on the wrong side or doing the wrong thing. For example, if you lie to your mother and say you’re going to your friend’s house to study but in reality, you’re going to a rave to do pantless keg stands, then you’re probably doing the wrong thing. And if you’re lying about your age and qualifications, then you’re probably doing the wrong thing.

Kyle told everyone near him that cheery Kenosha night that he was 18-years-old. He was 17. Hey, that lie worked at the Proud Boy Bar, so why not to join the Kenosha vigilante Nazi goon squad? But, it turns out he didn’t have to lie about his age as the judge in his trial has dropped the charges of being an underage gun-carrying racist juvenile out after his bedtime.

Question: When Kyle lied and told everyone he was 18, did he have to turn in his Hitler Youth card?

The judge has dropped the charges against Kyle for a minor possessing a gun. The argument is that the gun is also underage. No, but seriously…I’m shocked they didn’t do that. Really, the judge dropped that charge because the law in Wisconsin isn’t clear on the barrel length for it to be illegal for a juvenile racist to possess. I’m glad it’s not a rape trial as this judge might drop all charges based on penis length.

He also dropped the breaking curfew charge because there wasn’t enough evidence. Sure, it’s a technicality, and there really isn’t enough evidence beyond the video, witnesses who saw him, including the cops who gave him bottles of water and waved him by after he shot people, and oh yeah, the shooting of people.

I think the curfew thing is very important. Why? Because if Kyle Rittenhouse wasn’t where he wasn’t supposed to be at the time he wasn’t supposed to be there, two people would still be alive and nobody would have been shot.

Also, if Kyle didn’t possess what he wasn’t legally allowed to possess, then he wouldn’t have shot anyone.

Kyle’s other juicy whopper was his qualification to be there. He claimed he is EMT certified and there to protect car lots and give medical attention. He’s not even old enough to be EMT certified. Fun fact: Kyle didn’t give medical attention to any of the people he shot. including the one he shot, in self-defense, four times.

Kyle is a lifeguard but unfortunately, nobody was drowning in Kenosha that night.

The prosecution may be drowning though. And I kinda expect Kyle to get off. In my last column, I made a bunch of predictions about Kyle’s future if he gets off. I have a new one.

The Kyle Rittenhouse we’ve seen in this trial, the sweet cherub humanitarian who is so concerned about the community he doesn’t live in and generous enough to loan his bulletproof vest to a friend, will not be the Kyle we see after the trial, if he gets off.

The Kyle we’ll see after the trial will be an arrogant smug little self-entitled prick who hangs out in bars with Proud Boys. That’s also the Kyle we saw before the trial.

And who knows, if the self-defense argument works after looking for trouble, Kyle may go to another protest and shoot more people. Hell, if Kyle gets off, it’s a green light to racist gun humpers to shoot anti-racism protesters throughout Wisconsin. It’ll be legal in Wisconsin just like it’s legal in Florida to shoot a black guy in a hoodie with Skittles approaching you.

Kyle Rittenhouse may be freed, and we need to prepare ourselves for that. More importantly, we need to prepare ourselves for the aftermath.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: I am currently on one-week probation from posting new videos on YouTube because somebody got upset with me for criticizing Marjorie Taylor Green, Qanon, white nationalists, and Nazis ten months ago.

A Scuzzy Judge


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On August 23, 2020, cops in Kenosha, Wisconsin shot Jacob Blake four times in the back after tasering him. Blake is now paralyzed from the waist down. He is black and was unarmed when the cops shot him. Anti-racism protests broke out in Kenosha and white goons called for other white goons to come to the city, join the “Kenosha Guard,” and patrol the streets with guns while pretending to protect businesses from black people. Seizing the opportunity to go to march around and play militia, 17-year-old Kyle Rittenhouse traveled to Kenosha from his home in Illinois to join the cause against racial equality.

Rittenhouse illegally crossed lines with a semi-automatic weapon. He was not in Kenosha to defend his home as Kenosha is not his home.

Fun fact for Republicans: Wisconsin and Illinois are two different states.

The mayor of Kenosha and the county sheriff both expressed displeasure with overcompensating racist goons skulking up and down their streets with automatic rifles in what was already a tense environment. But Kenosha cops were seen thanking the racist goon squad and handing out water to them, including to Rittenhouse. There is no evidence that Rittenhouse was ever asked by any members of the guard or Kenosha Police Department, “Hey, how old are you?” Nobody questioned if this white baby-face kid stomping around with an automatic rifle was maybe possibly too young for this. I mean, this isn’t Red Dawn where the only thing between democracy and a Russian/Cuban/Venezuelan invasion is a high school football team with a losing record from Colorado. At least C. Thomas Howell had a worthier cause than protecting a True Value from black protesters.

The phony reason this white nationalist small-peepee goon squad had to be roaming the streets is that the Black Lives Matter protesters are looters, rioters, and arsonists. And ya’ know, if they’re not, these goons will send instigators into the protests to stir things up and make sure something gets burned down, and later blame Black Lives Matter. It’s worked before.

Hey, here’s a fun fact to stick under your MyPillow and sleep on: According to the US Crisis Monitor, a joint effort by Princeton University and the Armed Conflict Location & Event Data Project, after studying more than 7,750 demonstrations in 2,400 locations across the country, they found that 93 percent of Black Lives Matter events were…wait for it…peaceful. I was in one of them and the only people making threats there were the cops.

So, our little white nationalist wannabe nazi fuck, Baby Rittenhouse, goes to Kenosha and shoots three protesters, killing two and injuring one. After he shot them, he approached police cars, Kenosha’s finest, put his arms in the air, and the cops drove right by, even while protesters were shouting at the cops that Baby Goebbels (sorry, Mr. Miller. You can have your nickname back later), had just shot three people.

How much do you want to bet that if these same cops saw a black guy in the street with an automatic rifle, that they would do the same thing and drive by? No, we’re not accepting Confederate dollars.

They didn’t just not arrest Kyle. Kyle was free to go back to his home and sleep in the comfort of his own bed which is probably overlooked by a poster of Leonardo DiCaprio…from the film “Django Unchained.”

Kyle was eventually arrested and held in jail back in Kenosha. Of course, his defense is he was simply defending himself. But, was he? Why did he stray from the group of other racist goons with guns to confront protesters alone? If he had stayed home and played with himself while surfing 4chan, none of this would have happened.

Here’s a useful tip, kids: Sometimes when you go looking for trouble, you find it.

Fortunately for Rittenhouse, he’s white. That means he might get off, no…not from doing himself while surfing 4chan, but from these criminal charges. You see, kids, sometimes in America, if you’re white, you’re allowed to shoot black people. Now, in this case, they weren’t black, but they were fighting for equality and supporting Black Lives Matter.

Leaked memos from Donald Trump’s Department of Homeland Security revealed that federal agents were advised to publicly support Rittenhouse and claim he “took his rifle to the scene of the ‘rioting’ to help defend small business owners.” No mention on how they were to defend the fact he wasn’t old enough to own the gun or take it across state lines.

This Hitler youth also gets a break that he’s only facing state charges, not federal. On the other hand, hundreds upon hundreds of Black Lives Matter protest arrest cases, which should have been prosecuted on a state level, were transmuted into federal courts. Somebody, please explain that.

He’s catching another break from the judge. Judge Bruce Gots-A-Boner-for-Nazis Schroeder, will NOT allow the prosecution to mention any of Rittenhouse’s past associations with the Proud Boys. You remember those guys, don’t you? They’re the white nationalist terrorist group Donald Trump gave a shout-out to during his debate with President Biden. He told them to stand by, which they did until it was time to commit a racist coup attempt on January 6, 2021, on the United States Capitol in order to overturn an election, destroy democracy, and install Donald Trump as a fascist dictator.

Something else the judge will not allow the prosecution to do is refer to the people Rittenhouse shot as “victims.” But, he will allow them to be addressed as “rioters,” “looters,” and “arsonists.” This entire trial is being framed to portray Rittenhouse as the victim and just a sweet little goose-stepping cherub who had love in his heart and unselfishly drove a hundred miles with a machine gun to protect yogurt shops from bad black people.

Kyle Rittenhouse is a terrorist and he should be in a federal court, not a state one. Meanwhile, his gun-dry-humping supporters are calling for charges against a Capitol Police officer who shot and killed an actual terrorist, Ashli Babbitt, who was in the middle of committing a terrorist act. They also want death sentences for Alec Baldwin for portraying Trump on SNL, I mean, accidentally shooting someone, and Dr. Anthony Fauci for contradicting Trump’s bullshit and supposedly torturing beagles.

Here’s some free advice for Jason Voorhees: I’m not pro-murderous rampages, but if you must continue to slaughter horny teenagers, make sure they’re all black, or BLM supporters, and you do it in Kenosha. There, you’ll find a favorable judge.

Note: I love learning stuff that’s not very important. Netflix has a series called “The Movies That Made Us.” I just watched the one on making the first Friday the 13th. Spoiler! Jason doesn’t appear until the very end and in that, it might have just been a dream. His mom is the murderer and she accomplishes what John Lithgow failed to do in “Footloose.” She kills Kevin Bacon. Jason shows up for reals in the first sequel and doesn’t don the iconic hockey mask until film number three. If you need to know more stuff you don’t need to know, I’m your dude.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. A new shipment will arrive in early November. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Scaredy MAGAts


Cjones07062021

In the comments under yesterday’s cartoon on Instagram, I was called a “libtard.” I didn’t think it was that special though it’s been a while since someone has hurled that bigoted and ignorant insult in my direction. And I didn’t just get it once. I got it four times. It amused me so I tweeted about it…which lead to me being called the word about 17 more more times on Twitter.

First off, to the liberals who replied that I should throw it back at them with something like “Trumptard,” you’re missing the point. We don’t sink to their level and you don’t fight bigotry with bigotry. If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll be more direct: Don’t use the word, “tard.” Don’t justify it.

Normally, goons call me something like “snowflake.” They think that’s clever. It’s been over four years but that still gets chuckles from them. I love that they use that word, because it’s another example of conservative projection. You see, conservatives are cowards to the point they’re afraid of tiny little thing, like a gay player in the NFL, to the “WAP” song, to losing their white privilege, and to things that don’t even exist, like Jewish Space Lasers.

For example: Republicans have been screaming about communism and Sharia law for years, yet it hasn’t happened here. Another example of projection is their campaigning for their own version of Sharia law.

And if you don’t believe me that Republicans are huge cowards and are constantly snowflaking about shit, just turn on Tucker. He cries about everything and especially if it’s stuff that doesn’t exist. He is the center of the cowardly universe for Republicans who tune in nightly to see what they should be afraid of tomorrow.

This July 4th, fireworks may send your sweet doggy hiding underneath your bed out of fear and anxiety, but Bowser ain’t got nothing on Tucker. Tucker probably sleeps under his bed every night, and unlike in this cartoon, he probably takes the Trumpy Bear with him. And, if you have named your dog after Tucker, that is animal cruelty.

Right now, Republicans have so much to be afraid of that will never hurt them. Stuff like Critical Race Theory, Jewish Space Lasers, Italian satellites, Chinese bamboo ballots, Levar Burton hosting Jeopardy!, gay football players, Ilhan Omar, Nancy Pelosi, Kamala Harris, Hilary Clinton, Sandra Fluke (let’s bring her back), Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (women in general), Juneteenth, trans athletes (this is the hot one for the moment), taking down Confederate statues, Black Lives Matter, Antifa, woke generals, and me. Actually, I’m the only one you should be afraid of and I’m coming to getcha.

When I started this cartoon, I already had some of these topics in my head…but I needed to be reminded what else they’re afraid of, which forced me to look at some stuff I didn’t want to look at.

Lately, I’ve been trying to cut negativity out of my life. That means no looking at Trumper pages on social media, no looking at conservative political cartoons, and no watching Fox News, which I never do anyway. But, to see the current fears, I had to go look at some. It was either that or call one of my MAGAt sisters. No thanks!

First thing I did was check out the Facebook page of one cartoonist, who is not my friend, but is afraid of everything and is always posting about it. He’s on the pulse of right-wing bullshit which can come in helpful for research. Right now his main fears are the vaccine, trans people, and President Biden whispering. He’s also afraid of having his white privilege taken away and it’s obvious he hates black people. He also has a weird Led Zeppelin fetish. It is weird for a 60-year-old man to post 18 shirtless-Robert Plant pictures a day, right?

Then I looked at some cartoons from a bunch of them and…HOLY SHIT!!!!! Did you hear about this trans thing? Apparently, they’re going to shower with us, win beauty pageants, and steal gold medals at the Olympics. This is a major crisis in conservative media. Also, they’re never watching the NFL again…again.

And then, I did what I really didn’t want to do. I went to Breitbart. Ugh. Breitbart used to, and maybe they still do, have an entire section devoted to “black on black crime.” It’s like the racist section but they couldn’t call it the “racist” section. Today’s headlines at the Breitbart include scary stories about trans people, black people, CNN, Critical Race Theory, Biden eating ice cream (that sonofabitch!), gays, more trans people, another Critical Race Theory story, covid this and covid that, immigrants, more trans people, more Critical Race Theory, more immigrants, more black people, more trans people, Critical Race Theory again, and Tucker Carlson is probably right about being spied on by the NSA…and more trans stories. Nothing about aliens, at least not on the front page.

Conservatives are really afraid of EVERYTHING. They need help for their anxiety but I can’t find anything on the web about how to soothe and calm a MAGAt suffering from loud noises. So, I decided to take the tips for dogs suffering from firework anxiety and apply it to dumbass racist Republican conspiracy theorists. Maybe one of these can keep your MAGAt from scurrying under your bed and piddling. MAGAt piddle is just the worst.

Tip 1: Ask your vet for a sedative. I’m sure any sedative designed for your fur baby will also work on your MAGAt baby. Just don’t be tempted to give them the entire bottle because it’ll sure be nice if you don’t see them for a few days. I understand the temptation. Also, don’t hit them in the head with a hammer, though again, I understand the temptation.

Tip 2: Hold them close and say, “shhhh. It’ll be alright. AOC isn’t coming to get you.” This may not work as nobody wants to hold a MAGAt close to their own body. Ew.

Tip 3: Give them a treat. Raw bacon, waffle fries from Chick-fil-A, a sandwich from Cheesecake Factory, or just a block of raw butter from Cracker Barrell may get them excited long enough not to notice CNN ran a special on the Tulsa Massacre.

Tip 4: Belly rubs. MAGAts love a good belly tickle. But once again, this would mean you have to touch them. Also, most MAGAts are sticky. You’ve been warned.

Tip 5: Tell them you’re trans. They’ll probably jump out the window and you’ll never see them again. That advice wasn’t on the doggy site because people love dogs and want to see them again. Have you ever heard of anyone adopting a lost MAGAt? No, you have not.

Tip 6: Buy your MAGAt a one-way bus trip to Jacksonville and let him be their problem. Jacksonville won’t notice. It’s not like they’ll say, “Hey, have you noticed Jacksonville has been a lot more Jacksonvilley?”

Tip 7: Turn off Fox News. You shouldn’t let your dog watch Fox News either as that’s animal cruelty.

Tip 8: The doggy site says to familiarize your pet to the sounds, but I think if you repeat “Ilhan Omar” too often, your MAGAt may leap into a ceiling fan. But then again, win-win except for the mess. MAGAts are sticky on the inside too…we think. It may just be a lot of coal.

Tip 9: Did I mention the one-way bus ticket to Jacksonville? I did? Never mind.

Tip 10: Distraction: Someone should produce and sell mobiles with Trump’s face on them. If you put that above a MAGAts bed, he may not notice anything else. See if you can work some Benadryl into the baby bottle.

Tip 11: Ball gag.

Tip 12: Get him a Thundershirt. Be warned, they don’t work on everybody. For instance, they don’t work on Beagles. But, Beagles are way smarter than MAGAts and are fooled less easily. You never heard a Beagle bitch about immigration…unless you immigrated a cat into the house. Speaking of cats, there are Thundershirts for cats. Putting a Thundershit on a MAGAt has gotta be a hell of a lot easier than putting a shirt on a cat. Also, thundershirts use velcro, so like a MAGAts shoes, they may be able to put them on by themselves. As I recall though, you had to slide arms in, fold one piece over another, then fold the piece that has the velcro…never mind. It’s way too complicated for a MAGAt and you’re gonna have to help him.

If none of these work, there’s the hammer idea and you can probably get that one-way bus ticket to Jacksonville for about $80.00. Hell, that’s twice the price of a Thundershirt.

Last tip: Stop with the fireworks. What are you, six? Get over it already.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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