Melania Gets Stormy

I’ll write about the problems with Michael Cohen’s credibility tomorrow (maybe) but for now, let’s focus on some of the things he said, especially regarding Donald Trump’s third wife and the mother of his fifth child. Let’s talk about Melania.

Cohen testified in Donald Trump’s hush money trial yesterday that the main reason for paying porn star Stormy Daniels and Playmate Karen McDougal to keep quiet about their affairs with Donald Trump was to keep the information concealed from voters, and the secondary focus was to keep it from Melania.

Remember when MAGAts were screaming and howling about Democrats concealing information about Hunter Biden’s laptop, and doing so must be the worst thing that’s ever happened? Republicans acted like it was the sleaziest and most corrupt thing ever even though they can’t tell you what’s on the laptop that’s so damning. A lot of Republicans claim Trump would have won the 2020 election they claim he didn’t lose if voters knew Hunter owned a laptop. Yet they defend Donald Trump for making hush money payments to silence women who he claims he never slept with.

Take that in for a minute. Donald Trump hardly pays anybody. He doesn’t pay contractors and sometimes he doesn’t pay his own lawyers, even the ones who defend him in lawsuits for not paying people. In Miami last June, on the day of his arraignment there, he walked into a Cuban restaurant and proclaimed “Everybody eats,” as though he was going to pay all the customers’ tabs (I missed witnessing this myself by minutes). He was right, everybody in a restaurant does eat, and all the customers paid their own bills because Trump skipped out. I’m mostly surprised he didn’t shout, “Everybody eats…and I’ll pay all your tabs right after I use the restroom,” from where he climbs out the bathroom window. I’m also surprised he didn’t place an order and stick someone else with the bill. Maybe he did.

So, why would cheapskate Trump pay a porn star he didn’t sleep with to remain quiet? I assure you, I never slept with Stormy Daniels and I’ve never felt a need to pay her from telling anyone we did. In fact, I haven’t slept with most of the women I know and I’ve never paid any of them to not tell people we did the nasty but if they want to, then be my guest. It’s not normal to pay someone you didn’t fornicate with not to tell people the two of you didn’t fornicate.

The other thing is, Trump didn’t care about paying her off until shortly before the 2016 election. He didn’t pay her off in 2006 when the hotel boinking occurred. If Trump ever forgets how old his youngest son is, Barron, he can just reflect on how many years ago he shagged Stormy. He’s 18, which is how long ago it was that his father shagged a porn star. Trump cheated on Melania while she was pregnant and let’s be real, this can’t be the only person Trump canoodled with while he’s been married to Melania, and probably not even the only time during her pregnancy.

Donald Trump didn’t care about silencing Stormy for a decade and not until he was on the cusp of winning the presidency.

Cohen testified that he asked Trump how Melania would react if she found out about the Stormy shagging and he claims Trump said, “Don’t worry. How long do you think I’ll be on the market for? Not long.” This is still true as women like Laura Loomer, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, and Aileen Cannon would snatch him up in a minute.

Cohen’s testimony is consistent with Stormy’s, who said she asked Trump about Melania before they made sweet passionate love, or maybe in this case, rawdogging. She claims Trump told her, “Oh, don’t worry about that. We … actually don’t even sleep in the same room.”

Trump tells a lot of people “Don’t worry” when asked about cheating on Melania. And I don’t blame her for sleeping in another room to keep away from Stinky. Sometimes, she’ll sleep in another state. She hasn’t even been spotted at Trump’s trial yet, but we’ve seen Rick Scott, JD Vance, Ken Paxton, and Mike Johnson at this trial.

The prosecution may not be able to prove their case that Donald Trump broke the law in this situation, but I do believe it’s been proven that Donald Trump is a horrible and rotten human being.

Music note: I listened to Alice in Chains.

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