Michael Cohen

Mueller Christmas


Last night, CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin told Anderson Cooper, “Today’s the first day I actually thought Donald Trump might not finish his term in office.”

There has been a lot of speculation from people who dislike Trump that he wouldn’t finish his first term. You heard that before the inauguration. But, knowing just how difficult it is to remove an elected president, most legal analysts were skeptical. We’ve impeached two presidents and neither was removed from office.

Toobin laid out “preposterous” positions that Trump and his supporters now have to weave. They have to believe Trump lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen negotiated a deal with Russia for six months without telling Trump, that Trump and Roger Stone never discussed WikiLeaks, and that Don Jr. never talked to his father about the Trump Tower meeting with Kremlin-linked Russians offering dirt on Hillary Clinton.

The same people who will believe each of those positions also believed Trump when he said he wasn’t aware of any payoffs to porn stars before a tape recorded by Cohen revealed Trump was in the discussions on paying off porn stars.

Cohen has reached a plea deal with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, and what he’s revealing is enough to make the leader of a nation want to run and hide in South America. Argentina has history with hiding Nazis with Russian troubles.

Cohen is revealing that he lied to Congress to protect Trump and be consistent with his message. He now says Trump directed his initial financial crimes.

We learned that Trump’s liaison Felix Sater invited Cohen to attend an economic forum with Vladimir Putin’s Press Secretary Dmitry Peskov to negotiate building a Trump Tower in Moscow during the 2016 presidential campaign. Cohen now refutes Trump’s often-repeated claim that he had nothing to do with Russia as he sought the White House. Shortly after Cohen’s court appearance, federal agents raided the office of Trump’s tax lawyer.

Perhaps juiciest of all is a report from Buzzfeed that Trump tried to bribe Putin by offering to gift him the $50 million penthouse in the proposed Trump Tower. It is not normal for a presidential candidate to conduct business deals with a hostile government. It’s even more bizarre for a candidate to attempt to bribe a foreign leader. Where is the president’s loyalty if he’s in a urine-soaked bed with Vladimir Putin?

We have learned that denial to Trump means innocence and facts don’t matter. In regards to meddling in our election, he defended Putin by citing his denial. He defended Roy Moore over accusations of pedophilia by pointing at his denial. He’s defended Mohammad Bin Salman over murdering a journalist by using his denial. When Trump attacked Democrats who sexually harassed women, Sarah Huckabee Sanders defended the hypocrisy by championing Trump’s denial.

Trump spent the last two years denying he had any business relationship with Russia. On Thursday, he said the man who was his personal attorney, fixer, and vice president of his company was a liar, which is what he also called him before he produced the Stormy recordings. Trump went on to say he didn’t have any business dealings with Russia, but it wouldn’t have been illegal if he did. This morning, he’s admitting he did but it’s “cool.”

It’s not cool. We know Trump’s denials are always empty, and they turn into lies. Trump lied for over two years about having business with Russia. He lied every time he shouted and tweeted “no collusion.”

I’m not totally convinced that Trump won’t finish his term, but I do wish him a very Mueller Christmas.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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All The President’s Felons


I can’t predict if Donald Trump will be impeached or not. I can’t predict if he’ll go to jail. But I do feel pretty confident in predicting he’s going to do one of two things, if not both. He’s either going to start issuing pardons as if they’re Pez candy and he’s a dispenser, or he’s going to fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Yesterday has been described as the worst day of the Donald Trump presidency. And remember, one day he defended Nazis.

Yesterday, a jury in Virginia found former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort guilty on eight counts, five counts of tax fraud, two counts of bank fraud and one count of failure to disclose a foreign bank account. Manafort hid millions of dollars in foreign accounts to evade taxes and lied to banks repeatedly to obtain millions of dollars in loans.

About the same time the Manafort news was breaking, Trump’s former lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen pleaded guilty on eight counts, five counts of tax evasion, one count of falsifying submissions to a bank and two counts involving unlawful campaign contributions. But, what really put the White House into panic mode was what he voluntarily confessed.

Cohen claimed in court that Donald Trump directed him to arrange payments to two women during the 2016 campaign to keep them from speaking publicly about affairs they had with Trump.

Cohen told the judge that the payments were made “in coordination with and at the direction of a candidate for federal office.” He also said, “I participated in this conduct, which on my part took place in Manhattan, for the principal purpose of influencing the election for president in 2016.” He didn’t mention the candidate by name, but he wasn’t working for Hillary Clinton.

Yesterday, the president of the United States of America became an unindicted co-conspirator.

Trump defended Paul Manafort on his way to a sycophant rally in West Virginia. He said it’s terrible what happened to Paul Manafort and that he’s a good guy who once worked for Reagan. I’m not sure that’s a great argument as there were 26 criminal indictments in the Reagan administration, 16 convictions, and eight prison sentences. Those numbers are for eight years. Trump hasn’t completed his second year yet, and we already have five who have pleaded or have been found guilty.

Trump’s view of Cohen is a bit harsher as he tweeted this morning, “If anyone is looking for a good lawyer, I would strongly suggest that you don’t retain the services of Michael Cohen!” It is true he’s a horrible lawyer and the proof of that is, he worked for Donald Trump for over a decade. He also called Omarosa a lowlife and a dog, yet he hired her four times, and tried to hire her a fifth to shut her up.

It’s often pointed out and will continue to be, that everyone close to Trump who has turned on him are liars and all-around horrible people. But, it’s not like Trump hires anyone with ethics and principles. Remember, these are not the prosecutors’ people. They’re Trump’s.

Some people believe this is the beginning of the end of the Mueller probe. I disagree and think it’s the end of the beginning. We still have a long road in front of us to remove a fraudulently elected president.

That also means I’m going to have a lot of cartoons to draw.

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Credible Liars


It takes some serious gaslighting, chutzpah, and cajones to discredit someone while defending Donald Trump by accusing them of being a liar. It’s similar to when a Republican congressman pointed out FBI agent Peter Strzok’s infidelity while defending Trump. What’s next? Going after guys with bad comb overs?

A few weeks ago, Rudy Giuliani defended Trump by standing up for his former lawyer’s credibility. Now, Rudy is telling us that Michael Cohen is a lifelong liar and everyone knows it. How long has Rudy known it? What does this say for Rudy’s credibility?

That strategy is this: Don’t listen to what I said the last week. Listen to what I’m saying now, which I might tell you to disregard next week. That’s the kind of argument that will work on Trump sycophants, but not in a court of law. It may work in a Congressional committee controlled by Republicans, but that will change soon.

If Cohen doesn’t have anything other than his word that Trump knew about the Russian meeting in Trump Tower, then his credibility will not be a factor. What this will come down to is corroborating evidence.

This was a meeting that supposedly Donald Trump couldn’t even be bothered to be informed about, but he dictated the memo explaining it to the public. If he was unaware of it, then why was he explaining it? If it was on the up and up, then why did the memo lie over the reason for the meeting, which they claimed was Russian adoptions?

Cohen lies and Trump lies. These kinds of people are drawn to each other. Donald Trump didn’t hire altar boys. He’s a con artist who employed other con artists. People with ethics and principles don’t work for people who steal from charities and operate fake universities.

Trump lies and everyone knows it. Good luck with your defense strategy, Rudy.

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Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Spending Time With Daddy


Last night’s nightly breaking Trump news consisted of Michael Cohen revealing that Donald Trump knew beforehand of Russian spies visiting Trump Tower to dish stolen dirt on Hillary Clinton. The Russians met with Donald Trump Jr., then campaign manager and current jail occupant Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner before the election.

Why is this important? Trump has denied any knowledge that meeting ever took place. He claims he didn’t know about it despite being just one floor up in the same building until the press reported it. Donald Trump Jr. has made the same claim. Despite his supposed ignorance of the meeting, Trump dictated Jr’s statement on it to the press while flying home from his first meeting to insult NATO. Later, he lied about that.

This is complicated. Right now it’s unproven and it may come down to he said, he said, or in this case, douchebag said, douchebag said. What are the legal implications if it’s proven? For Trump, if he knew the information was stolen then he’s part of a conspiracy. If he only knew of the meeting but not that the material was stolen, then he’s an accessory. The same goes for Junior who also testified before the Senate that his father had no knowledge of the meeting.

Rudy Giuliani was quick to pounce with the defense that Cohen is a liar and without any credibility. He said Cohen has lied all his life. Rudy is a former prosecutor who has used liars and all sorts of gangsters without credibility as witnesses to put other gangsters in prison. Previously, he said Cohen should cooperate with the government as long as he tells the truth. Rudy never had a problem with Cohen’s word when he liked his words, whether they were truthful or not.

Rudy’s sanity has been questioned lately, and for good reason. His best defense of Donald Trump is that someone else is a liar without credibility? He’s a known liar who has lied his entire life? Has he even met his client? Oh, yeah. There was that time Rudy dressed in drag and Trump was hitting on him in a comedy skit that was more creepy than funny.

He is right in one regard. Cohen is a liar. You would have to be if you’re Donald Trump’s lawyer/fixer. Denying any knowledge about paying off Stormy Daniels aboard Air Force One (they’re really gonna have to scrub and decontaminate that plane when this is all over), Trump told the press to ask Cohen. It seems he didn’t have an issue with his credibility then.

Cohen does have a track record of lies. Unfortunately for Trump, most of those on the record are in defense of Donald Trump. How many years did Trump employ this liar?

This entire ordeal of Russians in Trump Tower is consumed with lies. Jr. told the press that the campaign was unaware of Russians trying to meet with the Trump campaign. Later, when the meeting was revealed, his response was like, “oh…you meant those Russians.”

Trump, who is now on record lying about knowledge of payments to Stormy and Playmate Karen McDougal (does he remember boinking them?), claimed that the Obama administration didn’t try to prevent Russian hacking because they never notified his campaign. The truth is his campaign was notified by the FBI. Trump lies.

Trump continues to lie and calls the Russia investigation a witch hunt and that the ones colluding were the Democrats, despite the fact there were literal Russians in Trump Towers and spies on his campaign staff. He’s also ignoring the multiple indictments against Russians and that every branch of our intelligence agencies verifies that Russia meddled in the election to help Donald Trump. Earlier this week, Trump even tweeted that Russians would attack us again and help the Democrats. Yesterday, it was reported that Russians hackers attempted to steal passwords from a Democratic Senator’s campaign staff. The point is, Trump lies.

There’s also the fact that the day Russians first attacked the DNC was the very same day Trump called from a podium for Russia to “release” Clinton’s emails. Trump also shouted on the campaign trail, “I love Wikileaks,” and read them out loud on stage. Each of these instances is actual footage of him colluding with Russia.

Trump keeps calling the investigation a hoax and there was no collusion. We know it’s not a hoax and it’s starting to look like there was collusion going on in Trump Tower (a building which was probably financed by Russians).

Trump is very sensitive that talk of Russian meddling invalidates his election victory. As it turns out, it does. Trump is a liar. Even if his campaign didn’t collude, he would NOT be president today if Vladimir Putin didn’t give him a push.

I’d like to see Trump and several of his minions pushed out of the White House and into prison. He may actually feel very comfortable there because prisons are full of liars.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

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Deflect With Philandering


We’ve heard this before. Many pundits have described the past week as the worst of the Trump presidency. Granted, it was particularly craptacular, but it has some stiff competition for the worst designation.

There was the week Trump praised Nazis. Who can forget “shithole countries?” What about feuding with a Gold Star widow? And, in case you have to be reminded, there are still baby jails. But, publicly kissing the ass of a Russian authoritarian who helped you win your election and taking his word over your own government’s intelligence agencies does leave a putrid funk. Add on top of it, Trump’s backtracking on if Russia meddled in our election, and the additional backtrack of saying Russia isn’t targeting us anymore. The only way it could get worse is if Trump invited Putin to the White House…aw, crap. At least his Director of National Intelligence didn’t have to find out about the WH invite on live television…never mind.

Maybe the heaviest confirmation that this was the worst week of the Trump administration, so far, is that they’re trying to change the subject to Trump’s canoodling with Playmates and porn stars and his repeated lies about it.

On Friday, it was leaked to the press that Trump’s former lawyer/fixer, Michael Cohen, had taped a phone call with then-candidate Trump two months before the election about paying a former Playmate for her silence about their supposed affair.

The FBI had seized the tape (and there may be others) during a raid on Cohen’s office. The Justice Department is investigating Cohen’s payments to multiple women before the election as possible campaign finance violations. Trump has stated in the past that the accusations of his philandering are “fake news.” But as we all have come to know so well, Donald Trump lies about everything.

Donald Trump has never issued any sort of statement, whether in an interview, tweet, press conference, answering questions on the White House lawn, or calling Fox and Friends while sitting on the toilet without lying.

The question about this leak is; who did it? The people who have the tape are the FBI, the prosecutors, Cohen’s lawyers and Trump’s. Trump complains about leaks while his White House is constantly leaking. The main suspects for the leak are on the Trump Team. Perhaps they believe talking about porn stars and playmates is a reprieve from the talk of Trump’s treasonous behavior. Maybe they’d rather his supporters carry the image of him being spanked by Stormy Daniels (the porn star who reminds Trump of his daughter) over being spanked by Vladimir Putin. Either way, they both have something on him (as well as the Playmate).

Is this tape dangerous legally? Possibly. Is it dangerous politically? Hell no. Polls this week show that Trump supporters, who wrongly claim Obama carried out an apology tour, love the way Trump is handling Russia, or how Putin is handling him. Trump once said he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and he wouldn’t lose their support. He could also sell out to a hostile foreign government and pork a porn star on that same street without any repercussions from his base.

During the Clinton era, Republicans said we can’t trust a man who is disloyal to his wife. They used it again last week against FBI agent Peter Strzok (oh, the hypocrisy). But, is reminding us about Trump’s disloyalty, to his wife and nation, the way to go?

Trump is loyal only to Trump. It’s probably on Michael Cohen’s tape, and it’s definitely on the Helsinki tape.

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Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Tips For Trump


With the latest revelation that Trump flunky/lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen was engaging in pay for play for access to the president, comes two very important questions; Did the president know about this scheme (which is a question that keeps reoccurring over these scandals)? Did the president get any of this money?

Donald Trump is notorious for being angry when he believes people are making money off his name. He complained about fired-FBI Director James Comey making money off his book. So, how does Trump feel about Cohen accepting around $4 million from an American firm linked to a Russian oligarch (Columbus Nova), AT&T, Novartis, and Korean Aerospace Industries?

Each company issued statements that they paid Cohen for expert advice in areas where he is not an expert. Now, if they issued statements they hired him to silence porn stars, that would be believable. What’s not believable is that he was hired for advice in real estate, health care, mega business mergers, or accounting standards, which were the various the reasons the companies initially gave for paying Cohen butt-loads of money.

The money was paid to Essential Consultants, the same shell company Cohen set up in Delaware that paid $130,000 to Stormy Daniels and $1.6 million to silence a Playboy bunny who was knocked up by, supposedly, a different Republican. Funny thing about the Playmate payment; the fake name on that payment, David Dennison, was the same as the one to Stormy. So, the abortion payment was actually for Trump or Cohen is too stupid and lazy to come up with additional bogus names. How about Grabby McGrabalot, Orangy McOrangeman, Shaka ShitForBrains, Lester Molester, Chester Cheeto, or Petey McPerjurer?

The corporations later issued further statements that they hired Cohen to help them understand the president, or even connect them with him. Really? You need to understand the president? Cheeseburgers and sword dances. There you go. That’ll be $400,000, please.

Is any of this illegal? You bet Trump’s chunky orange ass it’s illegal. Michael Cohen is not a registered lobbyist. This fixer needs a fixer.

What we need to watch is how Trump reacts to this. If he expresses anger about Cohen collecting money, then Trump is probably entirely ignorant over the pay-for-play scheme (which he campaigned against) or, he totally forgot about it. If Trump defends Cohen, calls it a lie or “fake news,” or blows it off, he’s guilty. Don’t forget, Trump is a guy who charges the Secret Service rental fees on golf carts when they protect him at one of his stupid courses.

Trump is cheap. He is cheap in other ways too. He is so cheap and petty, he complained on Twitter about how the Obama administration failed to secure the release of the three detainees held by North Korea. The thing is, two of those detainees weren’t arrested and detained until AFTER Trump became president. I understand Trump likes to take credit for Obama’s accomplishments, but now he’s being blamed for not doing Trump’s job? How come Obama hasn’t built the wall yet? Why did Obama let those Russians into Trump Tower? How come Obama failed to silence Stormy?

How cheap do you have to be to use these three Americans, held hostage by the most ruthless regime on the planet, for a cheap political payoff with your rabid base of sycophants?

Trump met the hostages when they landed at Andrews Air Force Base at 2:30 AM Thursday morning. He talked about the ratings. He praised Kim Jong Un and said the treatment of the prisoners he captured was “excellent” and how nice of him to let them go. Really? Excellent? Nice?

Kim Jong Un captures Americans for leverage. He is not to be thanked for releasing them. Remember Otto Warmbier? The University of Virginia student he released who was in a coma and died shortly after arriving back in the U.S.? That wasn’t excellent or nice.

And by the way, eleven Americans were released by North Korea during Obama’s presidency. Maybe Trump can convince Kim to capture and release nine more, so he can top Obama’s accomplishment. Or, he can totally erase Obama’s legacy and send the Americans back.

Considering how cheap and petty Trump is, I’m surprised he didn’t meet the detainees at the bottom of the stairs with a tip jar. Trump wants a tip? I got one for him.


Shout out. Yesterday was Frank’s birthday. Frank hates having his birthday celebrated, so be sure to leave a comment wishing him a happy birthday and a whole lot more. Frank volunteers to find my typos and make suggestions. If I don’t take a day off, Frank doesn’t take a day off. If I post two blogs a day, Frank corrects two a day. Frank is extremely reliable, proficient, and generous. He also sends me movie recommendations and really bad jokes. He also really hates when I use the word “really.” I appreciate Frank and you should too. The fact he even wants to donate his time on my stuff makes me feel that maybe there’s something significant to what I’m doing. Thanks, Frank and happy birthday. You really, really, really are something special.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Cohen Takes A Bullet


If you’re worried about Michael Cohen flipping on Donald Trump, you’re worried Donald Trump is guilty of illegal activity.

Trump’s attorney/fixer Michael Cohen loves him some Donald Trump. He’s paid off porn stars to keep quiet about sleeping with Trump, he’s bought overpriced condos in his towers, he’s gone on TV time and time again to defend the guy. Michael Cohen said, “I will take a bullet for Donald Trump.” We may find out soon enough.

Last week, the FBI raided Cohen’s home, office, and hotel room. They have material from his cell phone, laptop, tablet, and safe deposit box. Cohen is the guy who knows all of Trump’s dirtiest secrets. As dirty as Trump is, the FBI probably needed a dozen U-Hauls to transport the material while wearing hazmat suits.

Cohen is being investigated for business dealings which include the payment to a porn star and his involvement in the Trump campaign’s collusion with Russia. Cohen is in a lot of trouble. Trump’s closest advisers don’t have much faith he will remain loyal to Donald.

Attorney and Trump defender Alan Dershowitz said, “They’re going to threaten him with a long prison term and try to turn him into a canary that sings.”

Jay Goldberg, a longtime Trump lawyer told The Wall Street Journal that he warned Trump, “Cohen isn’t even a “1 on a scale of 1 to 100,” where 100 was remaining fully loyal to the president. Ouch!

One defense lawyer who represents a senior Trump aide in Mueller’s Russia investigation told Politico, “I think for two years or four years or five years, Michael Cohen would be a stand-up guy. I think he’d tell them go piss up a rope. But depending on dollars involved, which can be a big driver, or if they look at him and say it’s not two to four years, it’s 18 to 22, then how loyal is he?” I’m sure if anyone pisses up a rope, the president will want a tape of it, but I digress.

He added, “Is he two years loyal? Is he 10 years loyal? Is he 15 years loyal? That’s the currency. It’s not measured in inches. It’s measured in years.” Stephen Colbert asked on his show, “Fifteen years? Michael Cohen disclosed Sean Hannity’s name in court after being asked twice. He’s not five minutes loyal.”

Usually, the person who professes the most loyalty is the first to flip. But, why should he remain loyal when Trump doesn’t exhibit any loyalty to anyone other than himself. You may have noticed, Trump defends a lot of people, but only if attacking them is a danger to himself.

Stormy Daniels’ lawyer, Michael Avenatti, believes Cohen will be charged within the next three months. He’ll probably flip the same afternoon he’s charged unless Trump issues him a pardon. That’s very likely but will be a flagrant act of obstructing justice.

Trump already sent a loud message that lying to the FBI isn’t a serious offense when he pardoned Scooter Libby. Trump doesn’t care about Scooter Libby and couldn’t pick him out of a crowd. Pardoning Scooter was Trump scooting a message to those charged by Mueller, don’t cooperate and the prez will take care of you. I’m sure Paul Manafort is expecting a full pardon at some point in the future.

Anthony Scaramucci doesn’t believe Cohen will flip. Did he not see Goodfellas? “If you said to me and I had to flip a coin, is he going to turn on President Trump or turn on other people? I would say adamantly no,” he said.

That’s not how a coin toss works, Mooch. A better analogy you can appreciate is, heads he’s a backstabber, tails he’s a frontstabber.

Like The Joker said in The Dark Knight, “I know a squealer when I see one.” Cohen looks like a squealer. He’ll squeal on Trump, or he’ll do his squealing in a federal penitentiary. He needs to realize which body part that bullet’s going to penetrate.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!