Michael Cohen

Toad

I have three concerns with this cartoon.

My first concern is the file size. My cartoons usually include a lot of detail which makes for large files. I create four files for each cartoon. The file for this one is incredibly small. The black and white jpeg of the cartoon is only 444K. That’s small. It may be an unnecessary concern of mine but I worry that a small file will be low in quality when it’s published.

That concern may not be necessary because of my second concern, which is…nobody’s going to run this cartoon. OK, maybe the Detroit Metro Times. They’re ballsy. And that leads to my third concern.

My third concern is that it won’t be published, not because the cartoon is about Donald Trump’s penis, but because a lot of people won’t understand the cartoon. So here goes another blog that explains the cartoon.

It’s about Trump’s dick.

One of my proofreaders didn’t understand the cartoon. It’s possible my other proofer didn’t either and she was just being nice because she’s nice. But the way I justify drawing a cartoon that possibly most of my readers and newspaper clients won’t get is: I draw a lot of cartoons. I’m the only political cartoonist in this country who gives my readers and clients a brand-new cartoon every single day (there is another guy who often shits out three a day but most of those are traced photos and stolen clipart he signs his name on, so he doesn’t count).

It’s also a Saturday and I often do crazy shit on the weekends. Anyway, my clients get enough from me they can use that one can land in the trash.

An editor might say, “I can’t use this because I don’t get it. What’s it about?”
And I would tell him, “Trump may be indicted on criminal charges for his role in hush payments to porn star Stormy Daniels, who described Trump’s dick as looking like Toad from Mario Kart.”
And then the editor would reply, “Good God, now I’m definitely not publishing this.” Unless that editor is from the Detroit Metro Times.

And yes, Trump is facing criminal charges in Manhattan as the District Attorney has invited him to testify before the grand jury. In New York, potential defendants have the right to answer questions in the grand jury before they are indicted. Most decline and I’m sure Trump will too because any testimony can be used against him. These invitations are usually followed by indictments.

District Attorney Alvin Bragg may be the first to charge Trump criminally…but not the last.

Trump is under investigation in Georgia for interfering in that state’s presidential election when he demanded Georgia’s Secretary of State to “find” him 11,780 votes. Trump HAS to be charged in Georgia. Not charging him would be criminal.

He’s also under investigation by a Special Counsel for his role in the January 6 white nationalist terrorist attack, for trying to steal the 2020 election, and for stealing government documents, many of which are classified.

Trump has also committed sooooooooooo many other crimes without any charges or even investigations. Trump not being in prison already is a testament that we have a very unequal justice system. Donald Trump is a criminal…a big fat racist orange grifting criminal.

The Manhattan investigation has been going on for five years, which is another testament to our unequal legal system.

Here’s the deets: Trump shagged Stormy Daniels years ago. He didn’t want her to talk about it during the 2016 presidential campaign, so he paid her to keep quiet about it. Trump’s lawyer/fixer, Michael Cohen, paid Stormy $130,000 in the final days of the campaign. After Trump became president (sic), he reimbursed Cohen with a check and then lied about it. Bill Clinton would have been impeached for this shit and possibly sent to prison. If there was even a rumor of President Obama doing this, there would be congressional investigations today.

One of the reasons Michael Cohen was sent to prison was for campaign finance violations. So how is Cohen guilty of breaking campaign finance laws but Trump isn’t?

Paying someone hush money isn’t a crime. But it may be a crime if you do it as a campaign contribution that isn’t filed. Concealing the payment could be the crime in this case. In New York, falsifying business records can amount to a crime, but just a misdemeanor. To elevate the crime to a felony charge, Bragg’s prosecutors must show that Trump’s “intent to defraud” included an intent to commit or conceal a second crime.

That second crime may be that the hush money was an improper donation and a violation of state election laws, in that the hush money benefited Trump’s campaign.

Initially, Stormy took her story to the National Enquirer and offered them an exclusive for which they would pay for. They did this with another woman Trump boinked, paid her for the exclusive rights to the story, then never published it in what’s often referred to as “catch and kill.” The National Enquirer was published by a Trumper, a guy named…wait for it…”Pecker.”

Instead of paying Stormy for the story, Pecker helped negotiate the hush payment with her and Michael Cohen in order to help the Trump Campaign. Trump has said the National Enquirer should be winning Pulitzers.

Nobody has ever been charged with a felony under all these circumstances. Trump’s fuckery is unique. The president (sic) of the United States paid his lawyer to pay a porn star to keep quiet. The odds may be very low that Trump is convicted and if he is, it’ll probably just be a low-level felony with the maximum sentence being four years, but the judge has the option of not including any jail time in the sentence.

So the question may not that be whether Trump goes to prison or not but…was the $130,000 to keep people from knowing Trump cheated on his wife (just four months after she had given birth to Baron, but in Trump’s defense, her body was probably still weird, gross, and icky after giving birth to his fifth child, which I’m sure you understand) with a porn star or that his penis looks like Toad from Mario Kart?

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A Goon Can Dream

cjones01242020

There are a LOT of reasons Donald Trump shouldn’t be president starting with that orange crap on his face and whatever that thing is on his head. I’m not being petty. Anyone who believes that makes him look good doesn’t have the sense required to order a basic cable package less enough to have the nuclear codes.

First off, voting 101 is that you do NOT vote for the candidate endorsed by Vladimir Putin. You would think the entire country would understand that one, but no.

When you list a lot of the reasons Trump shouldn’t be president, like his stupidity, racism, sexism, narcissism, stupidity, pettiness, shallowness, lying, inexperience, stupidity, bullying, temper tantrums, playing to an ugly base, dividing the nation as a political strategy, the corruption, his treason, stupidity, attempts to bribe a foreign nation, and the stupidity (did I mention how stupid he is?), you’re bound to leave one out. I think one that shouldn’t be left out is the fact our president (sic) is a man who hires goons.

You would think after being president and having the Secret Service constantly by his side (poor bastards), that he wouldn’t require the service of goons anymore. But no. He even took one to the White House with him in his personal bodyguard, Keith Schiller. Schiller was very handy for Trump, beating up protesters and telling James Comey he was fired. Now Schiller is a goon for the Republican National Committee.

One of Trump’s other goons was Michael Cohen. Technically, Cohen WAS a lawyer but you don’t want a lawyer with a degree from the Cooley Law School anymore than you want a doctor with a degree from Washington Barbados U. You wonder how many sponges have been left inside Donald Trump. Cohen’s job was to make problems disappear, such as women Trump had sex with that weren’t one of his three wives. Cohen also called schools Trump attended to threaten them not to release his boss’ transcripts despite the fact schools don’t release them. Another gooning task is to set up fake corporations in Delaware to funnel money to Playmates and pornstars so they don’t talk. “Funnel” is a fun word for Goons. Trump goon Rudy Giuliani uses it all the time.

As president, Trump’s goon Rudy Giuliani went to Ukraine to dig up conspiracy theories on Trump’s political opponents and spread nasty rumors about our ambassador. Rudy outsourced some of his gooning responsibilities to other goons, like Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman. No goon collection is complete without at least one Igor. From there, Robert Hyde helped the Trump team with some gooning on the side and stalking Marie Yovanovitch, our ambassador (at that time) to Ukraine.

Robert Hyde is a Republican (of course) candidate for Congress in Connecticut so now you cant actually vote for a goon, which a lot of people have already done with Jim Jordan, Matt Gaetz, and Lindsey Graham.

Parnas and Fruman were busted and are currently under indictment. Parnas is doing what most goons do when caught. He’s talking. He’s talking a lot and he’s selling out Trump, Hyde, and Giuliani. And Trump is doing what most people do when their goons are caught. He’s denying he ever knew the guy.

Here’s a tip in case you decide to hire a goon: Don’t take photos with them. A new photo of Trump with his goon Parnas pops up every time he denies ever knowing the guy.

For Trump, each person he hires, no matter what position, eventually turns into one of his personal goons. I can’t think of a better example than William Barr who’s been gooning up a storm in the name of Trump. Other significant goons who have engaged in dirty work are his Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney, former Energy Secretary Rick Perry, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, and Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland. Corey Lewandowski was his campaign manager but he wasn’t afraid to be a goon when he grabbed a female reporter at a Trump goon rally.

Another bad thing about goons is that they’re not the smartest. Maybe they used to be smart, like Barr and Giuliani (I said “maybe”), but you gotta be kinda stupid to take on goon work, especially for the likes of a Donald Trump. Take Rick Perry for example. That fuck is so stupid he forgot what agency he was heading. This isn’t Goodfellas. This is Dumbfellas.

And, you can’t trust anything a goon says, whether he’s on your side or not. We can’t trust everything Lev Parnas says and that’s why we need corroboration, like photos, documents, and other witnesses. It helps that Lev has transcripts and recordings. So, when one goon contradicts the other goon, one is lying and one is telling the truth. While Hyde argues he wasn’t really going to stalk Yovanovitch, he couldn’t stop talking about it and planning out very specific details. With both of these guys talking, it’s like a goon sandwich and you don’t want to get between that.

Goons. You get what you pay for.

Donald Trump is the kind of guy who hires goons. He probably has 20 goons for each goon he throws under the bus. And just like not voting for the Putin-endorsed candidate, you shouldn’t EVER vote for a guy who hires goons.

And, you should especially not vote for a guy who hires goons who himself, is also a goon.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Black Prop

cjones03072019

Michael Cohen claimed during his congressional testimony last week that Donald Trump is a racist and he’s heard him make racist comments over the years, including, “that black people would never vote for him because they were too stupid.”

Congressman Mark Meadows, a Republican on the House Oversight Committee, was expecting this and had a prepared defense of Trump. He brought out Lynne Patton, an African American business associate of the Trumps who is now working for the Department of Housing and Urban Development. Patton’s qualification for her job with HUD was being a wedding planner for Eric Trump.

With Patton standing behind him, Meadows argued, “as a daughter of a man born in Birmingham, Ala., that there is no way that she would work for an individual who was racist.” She would if she’s stupid…or an opportunist. According to The Washington Post, she’s attempting to use her position at HUD to land a reality TV show.

Lynne Patton is another example of Trump surrounding himself with idiots, conmen, mafioso wannabes, and opportunists. It’s very difficult to find anyone in the Trump orbit who is ethical.

There was pushback to Meadows using Patton as a political prop. Democratic representative Brenda Lawrence said, “To prop up one member of our entire race of black people and say that that nullifies racism is totally insulting.”

Democrat Ayanna Pressley asked Michael Cohen, which was indirectly meant for Meadows, “Would you agree that someone could deny rental units to African-Americans, lead the birther movement, refer to the diaspora as ‘shit-hole countries,’ refer to white supremacists as ‘fine people,’ have a black friend, and still be racist?”

But it was Democrat Rashida Tlaib’s comment which truly infuriated Meadows. She said, “just because someone has a person of color, a black person working for them does not mean that they aren’t racist. … The fact that someone would actually use a prop, a black woman in this chamber, in this committee, is alone racist in itself.”

Meadows was outraged and defended himself by claiming he can’t be racist because he has black family members and is friends with the chairman of the Oversight Committee, Elijah Cummings, who is African American. Meadows used the black friend defense to defend his use of the black friend defense.

Republicans still don’t get that having a “black friend” doesn’t mean you’re not a racist. A Pew study found that 9 out of 10 whites who think that most blacks aren’t intelligent, law-abiding, honest, hard-working and/or generous have African American friends. Sometimes, they’re more than friends.

Strom Thurmond was a racist, pro-segregationist Democrat. When his party became more liberal and the Republicans more racist, he switched. He conducted the longest filibuster in Senate history, speaking for 24 hours and 18 minutes in opposition to the Civil Rights Act. The man literally bitched for over a day about black people being able to vote.

Thurmond ran for president in 1948 after President Harry Truman ordered the end of racial discrimination in the U.S. Army, proposed the creation of a permanent Fair Employment Practices Commission, supported the elimination of state poll taxes (designed to prevent blacks from voting), and supported drafting federal anti-lynching laws.

During his campaign, Thurmond said, “I wanna tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that there’s not enough troops in the army to force the Southern people to break down segregation and admit the Nigra race into our theaters, into our swimming pools, into our homes, and into our churches.”

You can’t get much more racist than Strom Thurmond, yet he denied he was a racist. And, if she wasn’t a secret, he probably would have said at some point, “I can’t be racist because I have a black daughter.”

Being a racist troglodyte didn’t stop Strom Thurmond from sleeping with black women and having a child with one. Having a black daughter didn’t stop him from being a racist, and if you’re a Republican, your “black friend” isn’t stopping you. Having black family members and “black friends”didn’t stop Mark Meadows from talking about sending President Obama “back to Kenya” on multiple occasions.

People like Mark Meadows and Trump sycophants need to expand their worlds. It’s good to have friends of a different race, religion, sexual orientation, and political opinions. But when it comes to your “black friend,” stop using them as political props and calling them your “black friend.”

Just call them your friend.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Whose Liar Is It Anyway?

cjones03052019

Democrats spent the majority of Michael Cohen’s testimony asking questions about Donald Trump. Republicans spent all of their time asking Michael Cohen questions about Michael Cohen.

Republicans, ranking member Jim Jordan in particular, pointed out that the first witness called for the first hearing in the Democrat-controlled 116th Congress is a man convicted of lying to Congress. Since Jordan is a Republican, his opening remarks and point was…wait for it…A LIE! This is actually the third hearing in the 116th Congress and since those hearings had witnesses, Cohen is not the first.

Each Republican on the House Oversight Committee used their time to attack Cohen as a liar and convicted perjurer. Nobody defended that, including Cohen because he’s a liar and convicted perjurer. Michael Cohen is going to prison for his lies. The Republicans even went as far as propping up a poster of Cohen’s face with the text, “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.” Seriously. Unfortunately for the Republican members on the committee, they forgot three things.

The Republicans forgot to defend Donald Trump. They forgot the man they’re protecting is a known pathological liar. Mostly, they forgot what Cohen was lying about and for when he committed perjury before Congress in his first hearing. Men who are destroying their credibility for Donald Trump were attacking the credibility of a man who destroyed his for Donald Trump.

Former New Jersey governor Chris Christie said on ABC that he can “guarantee” Trump is “sitting in Vietnam right now, fuming that no one’s defending him.” He also argued the performance was “either a failure of those Republicans on the Hill or a failure of the White House to have a unified strategy with them.” One senior House Republican who requested anonymity told The Washington Post, “The reason there was no defense is because there is no defense.”

Cohen is Trump’s former fixer, and it seemed like each Republican on the committee was angling to be his replacement.

One attempt to defend Trump was when Mark Meadows brought one of Trump’s few black friends to stand behind him as a prop as he challenged Cohen’s allegation that Trump is a racist. He literally played the black friend defense. Then, Meadows got upset when it was pointed out he used a black person as a prop, which in itself is racist. His defense of not being a racist was…wait for it…he has black friends.

Freshman Ayanna Pressley asked Cohen a question that was probably more for Meadows. The Democrat asked, “Would you agree that someone could deny rental units to African Americans, lead the birther movement, refer to the diaspora as ‘shithole countries,’ refer to white supremacists as ‘fine people,’ have a black friend, and still be racist?” That answer was “yes.”

Cohen alleged that Trump knew about the hacking of the Democratic National Committee before WikiLeaks had released the documents. He also claimed Trump reimbursed him for hush payments to women while he was president, and said Trump called him at one point to ensure he kept lying about those payments. He also produced the checks showing Trump had reimbursed him, which were made out, signed, and dated after Trump became President Trump. He even implicated Don Jr. and Ivanka in the Moscow Trump Tower project.

Cohen described Trump as a conman, a liar, and a racist. Stuff we already knew. He claimed Trump had him threaten people over 500 times, which is almost as many times as the committee Republicans said “liar, liar, pants on fire.”

Cohen, the liar, even defended Trump from a few rumors, such as having a love child, striking his wife, ordering Roger Stone to engage with Wikileaks, and the Russians possessing a tape that could be used as blackmail against Trump (you know, the pee tape). But then again, Cohen is a known liar and Republicans say we shouldn’t believe him.

Republicans still don’t get it. If there is a danger, you need to address it. Not hide and protect it. If the president of the United States has broken the law, cheated to win the election, obstructed justice, or sold his nation out to an adversarial nation for his financial interest, it’s in every American’s best interest to know the answers.

When the Republicans controlled the committees, they refused to ask questions or even call some witnesses in their campaign to defend Trump. Then-Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes used his position and hearings to gather intel to update the White House. They worked to protect those who may have betrayed the nation. They attacked law enforcement while defending a suspected Russian spy. This week, Republican Matt Gaetz tweeted a threat to Cohen the night before his testimony, which is a crime and a very Michael Cohen kind of thing to do, back when he was Trump’s fixer. Jim Jordan complained that there was even a hearing today, and these are the guys who created five different House committee investigations into Benghazi.

Republicans claim Michael Cohen is lying in his attacks against Trump. What Republicans are truly upset about is that Cohen has stopped lying for Trump.

It’s one thing for your crazy Republican uncle to refuse to defend America. It’s another for those elected and whose job it is to defend our country. Republicans have proven time and time again they’re more interested in being Trump sycophants, stooges, and cultists than defenders of our nation.

Republicans need to stop being Republicans for a minute and start being Americans.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Trippy Testimony

cjones01292019

Donald Trump has either lived a life dreaming of being a third-rate mobster or he actually is a third-rate mobster. But, you can’t be a mobster without goons, and guess what. Trump has goons. Enter Rudy Giuliani (among others).

When the Special Counsel Robert Mueller finally issues his report, obstruction of justice will surely be one of the many charges against Donald Trump.

Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, then told Russians and Lester Holt that he did it to end the Russia investigation. Instead, it got him a Special Counsel investigation. Yes, Donald Trump is really that stupid. When you commit a crime, don’t go on national television and brag about it…or tweet it.

Trump has been sending tweets that are attempting to obstruct justice. Part of his obstruction will be witness tampering.

Reportedly, Trump’s team, or Trump himself, was in contact with Paul Manafort’s people after Manafort struck a deal with Mueller’s team. According to Buzzfeed, Trump ordered his former lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the Trump Tower Moscow project. While Mueller’s office issued a statement saying the Buzzfeed story was inaccurate, they didn’t specify which part wasn’t correct.

Donald Trump has also engaged in intimidating a witness. Cohen has struck a plea agreement with Mueller and had volunteered to testify before Congress, again. This time, before a Democrat-controlled committee and not one run by Republican sycophants.

Using mobster language, Trump called Cohen a “rat” for cooperating with law enforcement. Trump praised Roger Stone (another goon) for not cooperating. Think about it. This is a president of the United States attacking people for cooperating with the law and praising others for fighting law enforcement.

After the Buzzfeed story broke, Trump started threatening Cohen by bringing up his father-in-law. Trump tweeted, “Lying to reduce his jail time! Watch father-in-law!” Trump has also claimed Cohen’s wife is involved in crime. Trump might have a point as the daddy-in-law; Fima Shusterman once owned three apartments in Trump Tower, which is a real popular investment for money launderers.

Trump called sycophant Jeanine Pirro on Trump TV (Fox News) and said, “In order to get his sentence reduced, he says, ‘I have an idea. I’ll tell — I’ll give you some information on the president.’ Well, there is no information.”

Trump continued ranting like a lunatic who had just snorted five pounds of Adderall at a bus station, “But he should give information maybe on his father-in-law, because that’s the one that people want to look at. Because where does that money — that’s the money in the family. And I guess he didn’t want to talk about his father-in-law. He’s trying to get his sentence reduced. So it’s pretty sad. You know, it’s weak. And it’s very sad to watch a thing like that. I couldn’t care less.”

Obviously, Trump couldn’t care less.

Giuliani went on CNN and said that Cohen’s father-in-law “may have ties to something called organized crime,” without mentioning any details. It’s getting harder and harder to believe the former mayor of New York City was once a respected federal prosecutor.

On Wednesday, Cohen announced he was withdrawing his commitment to appear because, his lawyer said, of “threats against his family” from Trump and his lawyer, Rudy Giuliani.

Three House committee chairs, Elijah Cummings, Adam Schiff, and Jerrold Nadler released a joint statement saying, “Our nation’s laws prohibit efforts to discourage, intimidate, or otherwise pressure a witness not to provide testimony to Congress. The President should make no statement or take any action to obstruct Congress’ independent oversight and investigative efforts, including by seeking to discourage any witness from testifying in response to a duly authorized request from Congress.”

At the White House, Trump said, “He’s only been threatened by the truth,” which sounds more like projecting.

What Trump doesn’t sound like is an innocent person.

Now, the Senate Intelligence Committee has issued a subpoena for Cohen to testify next month. Let’s hope he doesn’t suffer a Putin-inspired accident along the way.

Just as I was finishing up this blog, breaking news was reported that Trump goon Roger Stone has been arrested and indicted on charges including obstruction, false statements, and witness tampering. This is one I have been expecting, along with a few of Trump’s kids. Let’s hope he has company in the very near future.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Mueller Christmas

cjones12042018

Last night, CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin told Anderson Cooper, “Today’s the first day I actually thought Donald Trump might not finish his term in office.”

There has been a lot of speculation from people who dislike Trump that he wouldn’t finish his first term. You heard that before the inauguration. But, knowing just how difficult it is to remove an elected president, most legal analysts were skeptical. We’ve impeached two presidents and neither was removed from office.

Toobin laid out “preposterous” positions that Trump and his supporters now have to weave. They have to believe Trump lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen negotiated a deal with Russia for six months without telling Trump, that Trump and Roger Stone never discussed WikiLeaks, and that Don Jr. never talked to his father about the Trump Tower meeting with Kremlin-linked Russians offering dirt on Hillary Clinton.

The same people who will believe each of those positions also believed Trump when he said he wasn’t aware of any payoffs to porn stars before a tape recorded by Cohen revealed Trump was in the discussions on paying off porn stars.

Cohen has reached a plea deal with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, and what he’s revealing is enough to make the leader of a nation want to run and hide in South America. Argentina has history with hiding Nazis with Russian troubles.

Cohen is revealing that he lied to Congress to protect Trump and be consistent with his message. He now says Trump directed his initial financial crimes.

We learned that Trump’s liaison Felix Sater invited Cohen to attend an economic forum with Vladimir Putin’s Press Secretary Dmitry Peskov to negotiate building a Trump Tower in Moscow during the 2016 presidential campaign. Cohen now refutes Trump’s often-repeated claim that he had nothing to do with Russia as he sought the White House. Shortly after Cohen’s court appearance, federal agents raided the office of Trump’s tax lawyer.

Perhaps juiciest of all is a report from Buzzfeed that Trump tried to bribe Putin by offering to gift him the $50 million penthouse in the proposed Trump Tower. It is not normal for a presidential candidate to conduct business deals with a hostile government. It’s even more bizarre for a candidate to attempt to bribe a foreign leader. Where is the president’s loyalty if he’s in a urine-soaked bed with Vladimir Putin?

We have learned that denial to Trump means innocence and facts don’t matter. In regards to meddling in our election, he defended Putin by citing his denial. He defended Roy Moore over accusations of pedophilia by pointing at his denial. He’s defended Mohammad Bin Salman over murdering a journalist by using his denial. When Trump attacked Democrats who sexually harassed women, Sarah Huckabee Sanders defended the hypocrisy by championing Trump’s denial.

Trump spent the last two years denying he had any business relationship with Russia. On Thursday, he said the man who was his personal attorney, fixer, and vice president of his company was a liar, which is what he also called him before he produced the Stormy recordings. Trump went on to say he didn’t have any business dealings with Russia, but it wouldn’t have been illegal if he did. This morning, he’s admitting he did but it’s “cool.”

It’s not cool. We know Trump’s denials are always empty, and they turn into lies. Trump lied for over two years about having business with Russia. He lied every time he shouted and tweeted “no collusion.”

I’m not totally convinced that Trump won’t finish his term, but I do wish him a very Mueller Christmas.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

All The President’s Felons

cjones08262018

I can’t predict if Donald Trump will be impeached or not. I can’t predict if he’ll go to jail. But I do feel pretty confident in predicting he’s going to do one of two things, if not both. He’s either going to start issuing pardons as if they’re Pez candy and he’s a dispenser, or he’s going to fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Yesterday has been described as the worst day of the Donald Trump presidency. And remember, one day he defended Nazis.

Yesterday, a jury in Virginia found former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort guilty on eight counts, five counts of tax fraud, two counts of bank fraud and one count of failure to disclose a foreign bank account. Manafort hid millions of dollars in foreign accounts to evade taxes and lied to banks repeatedly to obtain millions of dollars in loans.

About the same time the Manafort news was breaking, Trump’s former lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen pleaded guilty on eight counts, five counts of tax evasion, one count of falsifying submissions to a bank and two counts involving unlawful campaign contributions. But, what really put the White House into panic mode was what he voluntarily confessed.

Cohen claimed in court that Donald Trump directed him to arrange payments to two women during the 2016 campaign to keep them from speaking publicly about affairs they had with Trump.

Cohen told the judge that the payments were made “in coordination with and at the direction of a candidate for federal office.” He also said, “I participated in this conduct, which on my part took place in Manhattan, for the principal purpose of influencing the election for president in 2016.” He didn’t mention the candidate by name, but he wasn’t working for Hillary Clinton.

Yesterday, the president of the United States of America became an unindicted co-conspirator.

Trump defended Paul Manafort on his way to a sycophant rally in West Virginia. He said it’s terrible what happened to Paul Manafort and that he’s a good guy who once worked for Reagan. I’m not sure that’s a great argument as there were 26 criminal indictments in the Reagan administration, 16 convictions, and eight prison sentences. Those numbers are for eight years. Trump hasn’t completed his second year yet, and we already have five who have pleaded or have been found guilty.

Trump’s view of Cohen is a bit harsher as he tweeted this morning, “If anyone is looking for a good lawyer, I would strongly suggest that you don’t retain the services of Michael Cohen!” It is true he’s a horrible lawyer and the proof of that is, he worked for Donald Trump for over a decade. He also called Omarosa a lowlife and a dog, yet he hired her four times, and tried to hire her a fifth to shut her up.

It’s often pointed out and will continue to be, that everyone close to Trump who has turned on him are liars and all-around horrible people. But, it’s not like Trump hires anyone with ethics and principles. Remember, these are not the prosecutors’ people. They’re Trump’s.

Some people believe this is the beginning of the end of the Mueller probe. I disagree and think it’s the end of the beginning. We still have a long road in front of us to remove a fraudulently elected president.

That also means I’m going to have a lot of cartoons to draw.

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Credible Liars

cjones07312018

It takes some serious gaslighting, chutzpah, and cajones to discredit someone while defending Donald Trump by accusing them of being a liar. It’s similar to when a Republican congressman pointed out FBI agent Peter Strzok’s infidelity while defending Trump. What’s next? Going after guys with bad comb overs?

A few weeks ago, Rudy Giuliani defended Trump by standing up for his former lawyer’s credibility. Now, Rudy is telling us that Michael Cohen is a lifelong liar and everyone knows it. How long has Rudy known it? What does this say for Rudy’s credibility?

That strategy is this: Don’t listen to what I said the last week. Listen to what I’m saying now, which I might tell you to disregard next week. That’s the kind of argument that will work on Trump sycophants, but not in a court of law. It may work in a Congressional committee controlled by Republicans, but that will change soon.

If Cohen doesn’t have anything other than his word that Trump knew about the Russian meeting in Trump Tower, then his credibility will not be a factor. What this will come down to is corroborating evidence.

This was a meeting that supposedly Donald Trump couldn’t even be bothered to be informed about, but he dictated the memo explaining it to the public. If he was unaware of it, then why was he explaining it? If it was on the up and up, then why did the memo lie over the reason for the meeting, which they claimed was Russian adoptions?

Cohen lies and Trump lies. These kinds of people are drawn to each other. Donald Trump didn’t hire altar boys. He’s a con artist who employed other con artists. People with ethics and principles don’t work for people who steal from charities and operate fake universities.

Trump lies and everyone knows it. Good luck with your defense strategy, Rudy.

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Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Spending Time With Daddy

cjones07302018

Last night’s nightly breaking Trump news consisted of Michael Cohen revealing that Donald Trump knew beforehand of Russian spies visiting Trump Tower to dish stolen dirt on Hillary Clinton. The Russians met with Donald Trump Jr., then campaign manager and current jail occupant Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner before the election.

Why is this important? Trump has denied any knowledge that meeting ever took place. He claims he didn’t know about it despite being just one floor up in the same building until the press reported it. Donald Trump Jr. has made the same claim. Despite his supposed ignorance of the meeting, Trump dictated Jr’s statement on it to the press while flying home from his first meeting to insult NATO. Later, he lied about that.

This is complicated. Right now it’s unproven and it may come down to he said, he said, or in this case, douchebag said, douchebag said. What are the legal implications if it’s proven? For Trump, if he knew the information was stolen then he’s part of a conspiracy. If he only knew of the meeting but not that the material was stolen, then he’s an accessory. The same goes for Junior who also testified before the Senate that his father had no knowledge of the meeting.

Rudy Giuliani was quick to pounce with the defense that Cohen is a liar and without any credibility. He said Cohen has lied all his life. Rudy is a former prosecutor who has used liars and all sorts of gangsters without credibility as witnesses to put other gangsters in prison. Previously, he said Cohen should cooperate with the government as long as he tells the truth. Rudy never had a problem with Cohen’s word when he liked his words, whether they were truthful or not.

Rudy’s sanity has been questioned lately, and for good reason. His best defense of Donald Trump is that someone else is a liar without credibility? He’s a known liar who has lied his entire life? Has he even met his client? Oh, yeah. There was that time Rudy dressed in drag and Trump was hitting on him in a comedy skit that was more creepy than funny.

He is right in one regard. Cohen is a liar. You would have to be if you’re Donald Trump’s lawyer/fixer. Denying any knowledge about paying off Stormy Daniels aboard Air Force One (they’re really gonna have to scrub and decontaminate that plane when this is all over), Trump told the press to ask Cohen. It seems he didn’t have an issue with his credibility then.

Cohen does have a track record of lies. Unfortunately for Trump, most of those on the record are in defense of Donald Trump. How many years did Trump employ this liar?

This entire ordeal of Russians in Trump Tower is consumed with lies. Jr. told the press that the campaign was unaware of Russians trying to meet with the Trump campaign. Later, when the meeting was revealed, his response was like, “oh…you meant those Russians.”

Trump, who is now on record lying about knowledge of payments to Stormy and Playmate Karen McDougal (does he remember boinking them?), claimed that the Obama administration didn’t try to prevent Russian hacking because they never notified his campaign. The truth is his campaign was notified by the FBI. Trump lies.

Trump continues to lie and calls the Russia investigation a witch hunt and that the ones colluding were the Democrats, despite the fact there were literal Russians in Trump Towers and spies on his campaign staff. He’s also ignoring the multiple indictments against Russians and that every branch of our intelligence agencies verifies that Russia meddled in the election to help Donald Trump. Earlier this week, Trump even tweeted that Russians would attack us again and help the Democrats. Yesterday, it was reported that Russians hackers attempted to steal passwords from a Democratic Senator’s campaign staff. The point is, Trump lies.

There’s also the fact that the day Russians first attacked the DNC was the very same day Trump called from a podium for Russia to “release” Clinton’s emails. Trump also shouted on the campaign trail, “I love Wikileaks,” and read them out loud on stage. Each of these instances is actual footage of him colluding with Russia.

Trump keeps calling the investigation a hoax and there was no collusion. We know it’s not a hoax and it’s starting to look like there was collusion going on in Trump Tower (a building which was probably financed by Russians).

Trump is very sensitive that talk of Russian meddling invalidates his election victory. As it turns out, it does. Trump is a liar. Even if his campaign didn’t collude, he would NOT be president today if Vladimir Putin didn’t give him a push.

I’d like to see Trump and several of his minions pushed out of the White House and into prison. He may actually feel very comfortable there because prisons are full of liars.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

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Deflect With Philandering

cjones07242018

We’ve heard this before. Many pundits have described the past week as the worst of the Trump presidency. Granted, it was particularly craptacular, but it has some stiff competition for the worst designation.

There was the week Trump praised Nazis. Who can forget “shithole countries?” What about feuding with a Gold Star widow? And, in case you have to be reminded, there are still baby jails. But, publicly kissing the ass of a Russian authoritarian who helped you win your election and taking his word over your own government’s intelligence agencies does leave a putrid funk. Add on top of it, Trump’s backtracking on if Russia meddled in our election, and the additional backtrack of saying Russia isn’t targeting us anymore. The only way it could get worse is if Trump invited Putin to the White House…aw, crap. At least his Director of National Intelligence didn’t have to find out about the WH invite on live television…never mind.

Maybe the heaviest confirmation that this was the worst week of the Trump administration, so far, is that they’re trying to change the subject to Trump’s canoodling with Playmates and porn stars and his repeated lies about it.

On Friday, it was leaked to the press that Trump’s former lawyer/fixer, Michael Cohen, had taped a phone call with then-candidate Trump two months before the election about paying a former Playmate for her silence about their supposed affair.

The FBI had seized the tape (and there may be others) during a raid on Cohen’s office. The Justice Department is investigating Cohen’s payments to multiple women before the election as possible campaign finance violations. Trump has stated in the past that the accusations of his philandering are “fake news.” But as we all have come to know so well, Donald Trump lies about everything.

Donald Trump has never issued any sort of statement, whether in an interview, tweet, press conference, answering questions on the White House lawn, or calling Fox and Friends while sitting on the toilet without lying.

The question about this leak is; who did it? The people who have the tape are the FBI, the prosecutors, Cohen’s lawyers and Trump’s. Trump complains about leaks while his White House is constantly leaking. The main suspects for the leak are on the Trump Team. Perhaps they believe talking about porn stars and playmates is a reprieve from the talk of Trump’s treasonous behavior. Maybe they’d rather his supporters carry the image of him being spanked by Stormy Daniels (the porn star who reminds Trump of his daughter) over being spanked by Vladimir Putin. Either way, they both have something on him (as well as the Playmate).

Is this tape dangerous legally? Possibly. Is it dangerous politically? Hell no. Polls this week show that Trump supporters, who wrongly claim Obama carried out an apology tour, love the way Trump is handling Russia, or how Putin is handling him. Trump once said he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and he wouldn’t lose their support. He could also sell out to a hostile foreign government and pork a porn star on that same street without any repercussions from his base.

During the Clinton era, Republicans said we can’t trust a man who is disloyal to his wife. They used it again last week against FBI agent Peter Strzok (oh, the hypocrisy). But, is reminding us about Trump’s disloyalty, to his wife and nation, the way to go?

Trump is loyal only to Trump. It’s probably on Michael Cohen’s tape, and it’s definitely on the Helsinki tape.

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Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!