Love them Embryos

I made this joke in the blog for my first cartoon about Alabama’s Supreme Court ruling that frozen embryos are children. I realized after publishing that it would make a pretty good cartoon.

Republicans are scrambling to find their positions on this as the Alabama Supreme Court handed a gift to Democrats. This ruling would not have happened if the United States Supreme Court hadn’t overturned Roe v. Wade. This ruling may be popular in Alabama, but it’s not throughout the nation. Even Mississippi voters rejected a “personhood” bill after it was put on the ballot and backed by the entire GOP establishment in the state. The Republican Party is slowly learning that it can’t allow fucknut yeehaw states to set their agenda, at least not before an election. Before Republicans can explain their positions on the Alabama ruling, they first need to understand In Vitro Fertilization (IVF).

Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville once again proved he’s the dumbest senator when he was asked about the ruling.

Tuberville said, “Yeah, I was all for it. You just gotta look at everything going on in the country. It’s just an attack on families, an attack on kids. You know, anything we can do for the future of our young people because they’re our number one commodity. We need to have more kids, we need to have an opportunity to do that, and I thought this was the right thing to do.”

After the reporter pointed out that IVF is used to have more children and that the ruling was shutting down IVF clinics, Tuberville got confused. He said, “Well, that’s for another conversation. I think the big thing is right now you protect, you go back to the situation and you try to work it out to where it’s best for everybody. That’s what the whole abortion issue is about.”

The reporter pointed out it’s NOT about abortion and Tuberville replied, “But it’s about the same direction, but I agree. People need to have access. People need to—we need more kids. We need people to have the opportunity to have kids.”

Tuberville admitted he hadn’t looked at the ruling and initially, he thought it was a legislative bill. Remember, this idiot once said the three branches of government are the House, Senate, and White House, and that white nationalists are not racist. Someone on his staff needs to explain it to him that courts don’t legislate. How was this idiot smart enough to figure out how to block military promotions?

Nikki Haley fumbled too and at first celebrated the ruling, stating, “Embryos, to me, are babies.” She thought she was throwing red meat to the fundamentalist base of troglodytes but quickly learned that IVF is non-partisan with voters. Nikki Haley knows what IVF is because she conceived a child with it, but after she saw the backlash to her comments, she quickly backtracked.

She said, “We don’t want fertility treatment to shut down, we don’t want them to stop doing IVF treatment, we don’t want them to stop doing artificial insemination. But I think this needs to be decided by the people in every state. Don’t take away the rights of these physicians and these parents to have these conversations.” She says the people in every state should decide after hailing the ruling by a court.

Donald Trump, Kari Lake, and multiple other Republicans have come out in favor of IVF treatments but nobody in the media seems to notice that not one of these goons, except Haley, has stated an opinion on whether frozen embryos are children or not. each of these politicians needs to be cornered and asked, “Do you believe frozen embryos are children?” Ask Tuberville first.

On another note, I had to look up the song Jesus Loves the Little Children. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if it was its own song or just something Ray Stevens wrote for the intro of his ’70s hit Everything is Beautiful.

Isn’t that a nice song? Everything is Beautiful is about peace, love, and understanding. It’s also anti-racist. Ray Stevens seemed like such a nice guy who could record a song about peace and love between his novelty hits about streaking, Guitarzan, Shriner conventions, squirrel revivals in Pascagoula, and the racist Ahab the Arab. Wait. What?

As it turned out, Ray Stevens is a racist. After Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and the George W. Bush administration failed in their response to it, Stevens cut a parody of the Johnny Horton song, Battle of New Orleans, and made it a racist hit complaining about the citizens of the city being ungrateful, cashing welfare checks, stealing, and robbing. You know who “those people” are. He defends Bush and the head of FEMA while blaming the black mayor of New Orleans and Jesse Jackson. He also claims in the song that everyone got free Nike shoes from looting.

He released two anti-Obama songs where he railed against socialism, an increase in government spending, and circumventing Congress, but he didn’t write any about Trump who added over $8 trillion to the national debt. He didn’t care about George W. Bush funding two wars by giving billionaires tax cuts and only became concerned about government spending and joined the Tea Party after Obama was elected. Stevens is only outraged if a black president increases the debt than when white guys do it. It was around this time he started giving speeches at CPAC.

In 2012, he released Grandpa Voted Democrat, claiming his dead grandfather, who always voted Republican, voted for Obama from the grave. He was pushing the election fraud hoax before Trump got to it.

Ray Stevens should write a song about In Vitro Fertilization. Let’s have Tuberville explain it to him.

Music note: I listened to Them Crooked Vultures.

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