Biden’s Communion


On Friday, U.S. Catholics advanced a measure to deny communion to politicians who support abortion rights.

In case you’re not a Catholic, a really bad Catholic, or just someone who doesn’t know much about what other religions do, communion is a ceremony of the breaking and eating of bread which symbolizes Christ’s body and drinking wine to symbolize his blood. When you actually think about it, it’s kinda weird. Eating flesh and drinking blood? Even the Church of Satan doesn’t do that. But then again, Christianity does believe a zombie Jesus rose from the grave.

Anyway, The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops moved forward this measure with 73 percent of votes in favor from their membership. While they say this isn’t about one guy, it is. It’s about President Joe Biden, the nation’s second Catholic president. While a president (sic) such as Donald Trump is a member of a religious faith, he wasn’t the first president to use it just as a political prop. Joe Biden, like Jimmy Carter, is deeply religious. He actually believes in what he says and is a practicing Catholic. Unlike Trump, he actually goes to church.

Now, the Catholics want to punish one of their own by denying him communion. President Biden, not wanting to get into a war with the Church, said it’s a “personal thing.” But, this move will fail. The Catholics in the capital say they will not deny communion to the president of the United States of America. Seriously, if the president wants a cracker, you give him a cracker.

Besides, his dog just died. What sort of assholes want to deny him his religious beliefs the same day his dog dies? Catholic assholes, that’s who. All dogs go to Heaven.

Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone of San Francisco, the home diocese of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who is a Catholic Democrat, said bishops would not be taken seriously if they did not create the communion document. He said, “Our credibility is on the line. The eyes of the whole country are on us right now.”

Really? Your credibility is on the line? Then why didn’t you denounce former Attorney General William Barr and deny him communion for believing in the death penalty? Oh, that’s right. The Catholic Church is against the death penalty. They were also against the Trump administration’s hardline stance in immigration and deportations, going so far to call them racist. But, where are the denouncements of pro-death Republican Catholics?

This is also an organization that hid sexual abuse by priests of young children for decades. Not years, not months…decades. And they’re still hiding it.

If anything, this reinforces the argument that churches in this country need to pay taxes. Fundamentalists literally campaigned for Donald Trump, with many believing he was sent by God (and Trump even retweeted that he was the “second coming”), and casts Democrats as “demoncrats.” Now, the Catholic Church wants to play politics and go after the president and other Democrats, while ignoring Republican Catholics who support the death penalty and baby jails?

Congressman Ted Lieu, who is also Catholic, pointed out that the Catholic Church is hypocritical. And while a majority of Bishops want to punish Biden for his stance on abortion, the majority of American Catholics are pro-choice. Even Pope Francis has come out against this move.

Aren’t you supposed to let sinners into your church? Even if Biden isn’t a good Catholic, shouldn’t you still want him, the President of the United States, in your house to worship? Isn’t denying him communion an attempt to ostracize him from your faith?

And about abortion: Being pro-choice is not being pro-abortion, just like being pro-life isn’t actually pro-life. How can you claim you’re pro-life while supporting the death penalty? Oh, yeah. Hypocrites.

This is why I’m not religious. I was born Catholic and partly raised in that faith as well as Baptist. Now, I’m a non-practicing agnostic. I say I’m agnostic because full-fledged atheists have made a religion out of atheism when I thought half the point of it was not having meetings and getting to sleep late on Sundays. Also, atheists love trying to convert people to atheism. I have no interest in converting people.

I respect your faith but I don’t have a lot of respect for organized religion. If you want your religious beliefs respected, maybe you should start by respecting others’ religious beliefs. Leave President Biden alone. Don’t mess with his communion. What would Jesus do?

Now, time for a pop quiz: If you truly believe Donald Trump, Mr.-Pussy-Grabber-Two-Corinthians, who had five kids with three different women, three divorces (I can see the future on this shit), and over 25 accusations of sexual assault, was sent by God….Quick! Tell me what church he belongs to.

Creative note: I was afraid this might be too subtle, but Laura, one of my copy editors, told me it was as subtle as a “pie in the face.”

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Regenerating Trump


There has been a lot of talk that the experimental cocktail created by Regeneron that regenerated Trump from the Trump Virus was developed from stem cells which is acquired from aborted fetuses. Why, if that was true, it would make a huge hypocrite out of Donald Trump and every right-to-life extremist who supports him.

But it’s not true? If that’s the case, then why did I draw this cartoon?

It’s not true. According to the manufacturer, Regeneron, no human embryonic stem cells or recently harvested fetal tissues were used in the REGN-COV2, the drug administered to Donald Trump. But there’s a big but here and which included all I needed to draw this cartoon.

Regeneron uses stem cells in its research, usually mouse embryonic stem cells and human blood stem cells. According to Snopes, The “antibody cocktail” given to Trump is a combination of two human-made proteins and was developed using a decades-old cell line derived from embryonic kidney tissues obtained from an aborted human fetus in 1973.

Did you catch that last part? It was developed using embryonic kidney tissues obtained from an aborted HUMAN fetus.

Cut to the chase: If it wasn’t for abortion, and abortion being legal, Donald Trump would not have had this drug to save his life. He would not have received this drug he has called a “cure.” It wouldn’t have made him feel the “best he has in 20 years.” Without this drug, he wouldn’t have told people not to “fear the virus” and they shouldn’t let it “dominate their lives.” Without this drug, he wouldn’t have been around to say catching the virus is a “blessing from God.”

This is the drug, from an aborted fetus, that Donald Trump says he’s going to provide to every American who contracts the coronavirus, for free.

Meanwhile, he’s trying to take away your insurance, your right to obtain coverage even if you have a pre-existing condition, to prevent you from keeping your child on your insurance until he or she is 26, even if he or she has Downs Syndrome, all while he’s putting a religious extremist on the Supreme Court who will vote to outlaw abortion.

Of course, it’s a lie that Donald Trump will give this “miracle cure” to everyone for free. This guy can’t even provide enough testing for the virus. But even if he did, will evangelical whackanoodle fucknuts accept a “cure” created from an abortion fetus? Probably, because every evangelical voting for Donald Trump in this nation is a hypocrite.

Since Donald Trump is a hypocrite about everything, it’s only natural that he’s still weebling around today thanks to the benefits of abortion being legal.

So, if you’re a Donald Trump supporter only because he’s “pro-life,” how does that hypocritical Kool-Aid cocktail taste?

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Trump Pro-Something-Something Rally


Sometimes I go a while without having a conversation, not a screaming match, with a member of the Trump cult. For starters, I forget that they don’t realize they’re in a cult.

A couple days ago one of my nephews posted a story from 2017 with a headline that Donald Trump made March 29, Vietnam Veterans Day, an official holiday. Immediately, my spidey sense tingled. It didn’t sound right to me because for starters, I hadn’t heard of it yet. It also didn’t sound right because it seemed to come from a legitimate publication, But apparently, has joined the cult and they don’t put any research into their articles.

So, I told my nephew that it wasn’t an actual holiday. In fact, Obama made the same declaration, recognizing the date as a commemoration, but it was just for 2012. Trump did make it for every year. But still, it’s a commemoration, not a holiday. Why is that? Because Donald Trump, nor any president of the United States of America, is a king. It takes a literal act of Congress to make an official federal holiday. A president can make as many declarations as he wants but they’re all pretty much empty except if you’re a Republican, it’ll get you a headline in by a reporter and editor who don’t do research.

I explained the act of Congress thing to my nephew because it’d be nice to have someone other than myself, my older brother, and my niece as informed people in our family. The rest are total fucknuts. I tried not to be confrontational and my nephew was cordial in return, but he explained why Trump didn’t make it an official holiday. It’s because Donald Trump didn’t want to give federal workers another free day off.

Again, I explained the act of Congress thing. Nephew understood that but again explained how Trump was looking out for the taxpayers and didn’t make it an official holiday. I let it go. It’s a lost cause. But you see what the cult does, right?

They can’t acknowledge Donald Trump can’t do something on his own. They also make up some bullshit because I guarantee you my nephew (who has met Donald Trump and posted a stomach-churning photo of it on Facebook that I should be commended for not commenting on) never heard him say he’s going to commemorate Vietnam Veterans Day, but not make it an official holiday in order to save taxpayers’ money. But he believes Donald Trump isn’t who Donald Trump really is, and instead sees him as someone who cares about him.

Here’s the thing. Donald Trump does not care about you. Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump. The people who don’t get that are those in the Trump cult, like members of the pro-life movement.

Donald Trump visited an anti-choice, pro-women-persecution rally and the fucknuts went nuts. Trump spoke for 13 minutes and as usual, sang his own praises. He said, “Unborn children have never had a stronger defender in the White House.” And he claimed, “They are coming after me because I am fighting for you.” No, you orange glowing idiot. We’re coming after you because you’re a racist conman tearing the nation apart and you’re trying to steal another election with the help of Russia.

The anti-choice fuckos love Donald Trump because he does what they do. He lies about abortion (like he does about everything else). He makes false claims about abortion laws, like a New York law that “would allow a baby to be ripped from the mother’s womb right up until delivery” or that Virginia Governor Ralph Northam would “execute a baby after birth.” Those are lies. Anti-choice people are huge Project Veritas fans, the outlet that creates fake videos on Planned Parenthood and other issues. They’re gotcha! videos they have to manipulate. But like pointing out facts about Donald Trump, the cult ignores facts about Veritas too.

Donald Trump, who once described himself as “very pro-choice,” doesn’t care about abortion any more than he cares about Vietnam Veterans. Donald Trump was grandstanding to feed his base. And it works because his base is stupid.

There were memes and thank-yous all over social media yesterday to Donald Trump for being the first president to visit a “pro-choice” rally. But let me point something out to you. He’s also the first president to support a Russian leader’s bullshit over U.S. intelligence agencies’ facts, which is something no Soviet leader ever received during the Cold War. He’s the first president to meet with a leader of North Korea, thus legitimizing him and his brutal regime.

Congratulations, anti-choice fucknuts. You have now received the same credibility and legitimacy as Kim Jong Un. Use it wisely.

And why did I use the Klan for this reference? Because Donald Trump is a racist and when it comes to the “pro-life” movement and the KKK, tomayto-tomahto.

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New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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No Wiggle Room For Women


Renting a moving truck from U-Haul to go from Alabama to Connecticut will cost somewhere between $600 to $800, depending on the size truck you need. Why did I look this information up? Because, if you’re in Alabama, you need to get out. As a public service, I’m giving you an idea on the cost.

Why did I pick Connecticut? Because some state officials in Connecticut have offered safe haven to Alabamians who wish to escape their state’s new restrictive abortion laws. Though the law isn’t actually legal yet despite the governor signing it, Alabama seeks to become the most restrictive state in regards to abortion. Connecticut, which has codified abortion, is the most progressive on the subject. Alabama wants to ban abortion entirely, even in the case of rape and incest. If this law becomes an actual law, a woman in Alabama impregnated from rape could face a stiffer prison sentence than her attacker.

But, if you’re from Alabama, even if you’re progressive, you’re probably not going to like Connecticut. It’s expensive and you’ll think Yankees talk funny. It’s also close to Boston, so you’ve been warned.

I do find the invitation extended to Alabamians from Connecticut ridiculous. Even though it seems like it’s Alabamistan, it’s not a foreign country. Alabama is in the same nation as Connecticut. You don’t need an invitation. You’re free to move about the country as you wish. So, if you want to escape Alabama, and I recommend that you do, you can choose whichever state you want. However, there are several states to avoid as they seek to legislate their religion to create women-punishing laws nearly as strict as Alabama’s. Which ones are they? Glad you asked because here we go.

Don’t go to Georgia. It’s a beautiful place and I lived there for three years when I was a teenager. I even went to high school with Amy Carter, daughter of former president Jimmy Carter. They have pecans, peaches, lots of red clay, and the Georgia Bulldogs. It was the home to Martin Luther King Jr. and is the base for Mike Luckovich of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, a friend of mine and one of the nation’s best political cartoonists. But, in addition to banning abortions after six weeks, the state also suppresses votes from African-Americans. Don’t go to Georgia.

Missouri. They just passed a bill that bans abortions after a heartbeat is detected, and it allows exceptions for medical emergencies but not for pregnancies caused by rape or incest. Plus, it’s Missouri.

Ohio. Another one of those “heartbeat” bills and the governor signed it. On top of that, Cleveland is in Ohio.

Mississippi. I started my career in the state and lived in Batesville, Brookhaven, Gulfport, and Jackson. The state has given us some of America’s greatest authors from Eudora Welty (my college was across the street from her house. I never saw her), Willie Morris, John Grisham, and of course, William Faulkner. They have the best barbecue and a new abortion bill that they call, wait for it…the “heartbeat” bill.

Kentucky. Rand Paul, Mitch McConnell (yet, they shoot lame race horses) and…you guessed it, a “heartbeat” bill. Don’t go to Kentucky.

Louisiana, where I spent the majority of my youth against my will. “Heartbeat” bill.

I’ll just mention the rest for the sake of brevity. Texas, Utah, West Virginia, South Carolina, Iowa, and Florida. Basically, avoid any state that voted for Trump.

Today, a trial is set to begin in a lawsuit filed by women’s health groups seeking to overturn restrictions on abortion providers in Virginia, my state. One of those restrictions is that a woman must get an ultrasound before an abortion. I’m surprised they don’t make her name the fetus first.

These laws are not about life. They’re about control and religious fundamentalism. The governor of Alabama made that clear when she said the law “stands as a powerful testament to Alabamians’ deeply held belief that every life is precious and that every life is a sacred gift from God.” These people don’t even believe in separation of church and state. They don’t believe in the Constitution. These lawmakers are pushing the issue hoping their state is the one that finally gets the Supreme Court to strike down Roe v. Wade.

This is a war on women. Make no mistake about it. If they actually succeed in banning abortion nationwide, what will they go after next? Remember how elections have consequences? Two of those consequences are named “Neil Gorsuch” and “Brett Kavanaugh.” Liberals need to vote with SCOTUS in mind, just like conservatives do.

If conservatives, Republicans, religious yahoos, and Trump cultists get their way, moving to Connecticut or any progressive state won’t be an escape for anyone. It’s time to stop running. It’s time to take a stand. We have to stop allowing these people from legislating their morality onto the rest of us.

Chains or change. It’s up to you.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Abortion Is Murder?


Let’s start this off with a clear understanding. The people striving to make abortion illegal are not “pro life.” Pro life means being for life. You can’t say you don’t want a fetus terminated but you’re for war, endless wars, unprovoked wars, wars for profit, or just for the Hell of it wars. You also can’t be for the death penalty, against feeding poor children with government assistance, and just not really giving a rat’s ass about a child after it’s born and is no longer a fetus you can picture on your advocacy poster, and call yourself pro life. If you do, you’re a liar.

The ANTI CHOICE lobby is the most dishonest group in American politics today. They lie. What’s worse than being uninformed is being misinformed, and knowingly waging a campaign of false information, or lies as in the case of the undercover videos against Planned Parenthood. If you have to win a culture war by using lies, you’re on the wrong side. Your ends don’t justify your means, even if you think it’s to prevent “murder.”

Carly Fiorina clung to the lie throughout her failed presidential campaign. Even when her lies were pointed out to her she still swore by it with contempt and disgust for being called out. She remained a lying liar with lies spewing out of her lying liar hole. No wonder people are looking at her face.

Ted Cruz is stating at every campaign stop, rally and debate that we will have a Congressional investigation of Planned Parenthood. I guess the other eleven investigations of PP by state governments, with each clearing PP, aren’t good enough. I’m really glad we have a presidential candidate promising another endless, expensive, and fruitless Congressional investigation. Thanks, Lyin’ Ted (hey, Trump is right about something).

For years the rabid dogs of the anti choice crowd have described abortion as murder. They say it’s killing a baby. I guess anyone killing a baby is a murderer. When Trump made his gaffe of saying women should be punished for getting an abortion, all the anti choice people distanced himself from his statement.

First off, Trump doesn’t know anything about the issue. It’s clear he hasn’t thought about it as he changed his position two hours later. But the anti choice people are about punishing mothers. If you take abortion away that’s a punishment. But how can you define something as murder, want to legally classify it as murder, then state that the mothers are not murderers? I’m pretty sure you can’t decide to have someone killed, hire a hit man to do the murdering, not be anywhere the scene of the murder, and not be charged with murder. How about we just realize that abortion is not murder? It is legal.

It’s also funny how the anti choice people spent this week talking about how the mothers are victims of abortion doctors preying on them. They have huge sympathy for the mothers. Have you ever seen a protest at an abortion clinic? Women walking in aren’t treated with very much sympathy by the protesters.

The anti choice people believe abortion advocates are encouraging abortions. They would prefer you to have an abortion. To them, it’s all black and white. There is a gray area and they’re way outside it.

Yes, these people are upset Trump said something they actually feel but aren’t supposed to state publicly, which he’s been doing on a lot of subjects. Thing is, Trump said how they actually feel and he didn’t even think about the issue. These zealots have spent years processing the information, or in their case, misinformation.

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Planned Targeting


The Center For Medical Progress created a sting operation and videos as bogus as their name. Their accusations that Planned Parenthood was selling and profiting from body parts of aborted children turned out to be a total lie and cleared by eleven state investigations. A Houston grand jury was the latest investigation and instead of delivering indictments on Planned Parenthood, they dished them out to David Daleiden, the head of the faker organization, and one of his colleagues, Sandra Merritt, on a felony charge for using fake driver’s licenses to gain access to a Planned Parenthood facility in Texas. Daleiden was also indicted on a misdemeanor count related to purchasing human organs; Planned Parenthood says it turned down an “astronomical amount” offered by Daleiden to procure fetal organs.


Daleiden uses the defense that he uses the same tactics as journalists. Wrong. Journalism is not about presenting misinformation, no matter what the right wing believes (except on Fox News. There it will get you your own show). It’s also not about activism.

Daleiden’s agenda is to destroy Planned Parenthood. Unfortunately for him Planned Parenthood is operating within the law so to turn public opinion away from supporting the PP, he made stuff up. The majority of Americans support government funding for PP. If you’re a realist, even if you’re anti-choice, you would realize that PP actually decreases the amount of abortions in this country.

If you’re right and your argument is just and valid, then you shouldn’t have to lie. That’s the journalism part Daleiden doesn’t understand. If he gets locked up then he’ll plenty of time to think about it. Maybe he can share a cell with the guy who was so inspired by his videos that he shot up a clinic in Colorado.

Despite the indictments and the many investigations that have cleared PP, several presidential candidates are continuing with the lie. The most egregious being Carly Fiorina (who lies about EVERYTHING) and abducted children for an anti-choice speech and photo-op. Joining her in the lying liars club is Mike Huckabee, Marco Rubio, John Kasich, and Ted Cruz. Maybe Planned Parenthood will look into suing these people for slander and defamation. I think they have a case.

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Off The Blood Of Dead Children


I was talking to a friend last week and he mentioned how he always respects opinions he disagrees with. I think that’s really big of him. I don’t.

If your opinion is supported by lies, and the truth has been published repeatedly, yet you still cling to the lie then I don’t feel any responsibility to have to respect your choice to be an ignorant dumbass.

Planned Parenthood has been attacked a lot lately. An anti-choice group keeps secretly video taping meetings with members of Planned Parenthood, then they distribute heavily edited copies of the videos. Today nutjobs believe Planned Parenthood is selling dead baby body parts and making a huge profit from it. No they are not. They’re not even selling body parts.

Members of Congress are now using these lies in an attempt to take funding away from Planned Parenthood.

Here are some facts anti-choice fanatics don’t want to know, believe or they just stick their fingers in their ears when it’s brought up and sing “la-la-la-la-Jesus-la-la-la-la:”

Federal money does not pay for abortions. Abortions only account for 3% of what Planned Parenthood does. Because of Planned Parenthood there are fewer abortions. Planned Parenthood mostly works to keep people, especially teenagers, from unwanted pregnancies. Any tissue from an abortion that is used for medical science has to be donated by the patient. Planned Parenthood does not make money on this. La-la-la-la-Jesus-la-la-la-la.

Here’s where conservatives are hypocrites:

They’re all about privacy unless the organization being videotaped is a liberal group. They’re all about privacy unless it’s a woman’s body. They’re all about a child unless it’s actually born and then they fight against feeding and educating that child. They don’t want anyone to get an abortion but they don’t want sex education in schools telling kids what exactly makes them pregnant.

Trust me on the fact there are people out there that aren’t sure what causes pregnancy. Some people are that stupid. Did you know there is a recall of single cheese slices right now because some idiots are eating the plastic? I gave an unwrapped slice to my Beagle yesterday to see if he was smart enough to remove the plastic and guess what. He removed the plastic. If there are people out there who don’t know how to unwrap a slice of cheese then there are those who don’t know how to wrap a penis.

So yeah, there’s a lot of people out there I don’t feel the need to respect. If you have read about the facts on Planned Parenthood and you continue to spread the lies (I’m looking at you nutjob conservative cartoonists), then you’re not just a liar, you’re an unethical, despicable Santorum. Yeah, go Google another definition for “Santorum.” You’re gonna love it.

And you should probably stop eating cheese.