ProChoice

Apple Watching You


Full disclosure: This cartoon was drawn on an iPad. All of my cartoons have been drawn on an iPad since June 2021, and I believe I only have 11 payments left until I officially own my Ipad.

I love my iPad and my iPhone. I love how easily they make everything. I love how they sync together. I love that when I bought my very-outdated AirPods, I didn’t have to sync them to my devices. They automatically knew each other. I like that when I take a photo, it knows where I took the photo and will later present me with a gallery of the photos taken at that location. Hey, here’s your trip to Las Vegas or your trip to New York City. To me, that’s some fun tracking.

Apple unveiled the latest versions of its iPhone and watches last Wednesday. It’s the iPhone 14 and Apple Watch Series 8. I never buy the latest newest most up-to-date tech, but I did last year when I got my iPhone 12 and iPad pro 12.8. For about seven minutes, I was up to date with the latest technology. I don’t see any reason to update again for a while. But, there are people who bought the iPhone 13 and will now rush to own the 14, and in a few months the 15, then the 16…yeah, get out of here.

And while I do like Apple stuff, I realize they screw over the people who are loyal to them. You would think that someone who spends $2,000 on an iPad wouldn’t have to shell out another $130 for the Apple Pencil (and in my case, you’d expect the pencil to actually work and not crap-out and force you to wait several days for Apple to send you a new one). Microsoft’s first few versions of its Surface Pro included its Surface Pen until they got smart and started selling it separately. The iPhone used to come with EarBuds you could plug into your device. Now, not only do they not include the free EarBuds, but the newer iPhones don’t even include the input for your old EarBuds, forcing you to purchase AirPods if you want to listen to music privately. Nobody wants anyone else to know they’re listening to Cold Play.

As usual, there are new features to these products with one for the watch being a fertility tracker. The thing tracks women’s periods and fertility and will tell her when she’s ovulating. This feature can be very cool or very scary. Some people haven’t been this upset with Apple since that time they hid a U2 album on iPhones.

I think a watch that tracks your steps can be very cool. And it’s cool that it can track your heartbeat and warn you of palpitations and stuff like that. I’m not afraid of this stuff because I’m concerned about being tracked, but because I kinda get the feeling the watch will be like, “Are you sure you want to be eating all that pork?” But some people are concerned about how Apple is tracking them and where and how they’re storing the data. Hopefully, it’s better than the system of hiding shit in a basement at Mar-a-Lago.

It’s like when the vaccines came out and a lot of people were afraid of being vaccinated by the government. White people with concerns were mostly lying conspiracy-driven fucks believing the vax contained itty-bitty tracking chips, but black Americans had a better right to be concerned about what was in the vaccines and how it’d affect them. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Google “Tuskegee Syphilis Study.”

You might think we shouldn’t be too concerned about Apple storing data about us or Alexa sending all our personal deets back to her masters at Amazon, or another device tracking your sleep farts, though it does sound kinda Orwellian that not only are corporations tracking us, they’re selling us the products used to do the tracking.

That’s kinda like Nike selling you a shirt that advertises their product, and don’t get me started on my beef with YouTube showing me a commercial before I can watch a trailer to a movie. They’re forcing me to watch a commercial before I can watch a commercial. You motherfuckers, you.

But women have every right to be concerned with a corporation tracking their fertility after Republicans have wiped out abortion in nearly half the nation and working on banning legal abortion in the rest of it. And now, Apple will know when you’re ovulating and Amazon will know what tampons you’re buying. Getting ahold of this information is a Republican’s wet dream. Also, “Republican Wet Dreams” would be the worst-selling erotic novel on Amazon. Others would be “Ted Cruz comes into Bloom,” “Lindsey’s Night of Georgian Passion,” “Rand Paul: Just a Gigolo,” and “Trump’s Moist Misadventure in Moscow.” By the way, which word do women find the most disturbing? “Moist” or “Ted Cruz?”

So maybe when the government is doing all it can to erase privacy, and the Supreme Court saying the Constitution doesn’t guarantee a right to privacy except for where they live, it might be a rotten time for a corporation that’s worth over $2 trillion to sell a product made to stalk your periods.

What’s next? Is Apple going to charge us to name our children after them? Actually, Cold Play’s Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow did name one of their kids “Apple.”

I love my Apple stuff. I love my iPhone, iPad, and Air Pods, but they need to be careful about what they force upon their customers. If the new stuff includes an ebook titled, “a Moist Ted Cruz,” I’m throwing my shit out the window.

Creative note: This is from the batch drawn up before the Queen’s passing, which put everything else on hold. The rough for this was drawn up Wednesday evening after Apple released the new series. I wasn’t sure I was going to make a real cartoon out of this.

Music note: I listened to some Coheed and Cambria.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Follow Kansas


The Wizard of Oz is a brilliant movie, especially when you factor in the time it was made. From top to bottom, with the script, music, performances, costumes, and color, it’s nearly a perfect movie. And for cartoonists, it’s full of metaphors. Who hasn’t used flying monkeys in a cartoon? I usually stop at flying monkeys, but most other cartoonists mine the entire film for references in their work. The late great Dick Locher, who drew Dick Tracy and was an editorial cartoonist for the Chicago Tribune, once wrote a column about his love for using the Wizard of Oz in his cartoons. He had no shame in it, nor should he have. But, I have never really connected with using it in my cartoons, other than with the flying monkeys.

The flying monkeys are perfect for MAGA so I got a lot of use out of that metaphor. But I’ve never been able to connect to the rest of the movie. Honestly, for cartoons, it’s always bored me. So I struggled a bit with drawing this because I had a hard time getting into it. While I felt it was a good cartoon, I had doubts because of my anti-Wiz instincts. So I felt some relief when Laura, one of my proofreaders told me she liked it (without my having to fish for a compliment).

I told Laura about my doubts (I have them often), and she reassured me by saying, “Hey, who belongs in abortion commentary more than a teenage girl who spends a lot of time with men into cosplay? I’d say Dorothy has a stake in the issue.”

I told her that was going into the blog because it made me literally laugh out loud.

And Kansas seems to understand that Dorothy and all women in that state have a stake in the issue. Last night, Kansas voters resoundingly decided against removing the right to abortion from the state constitution.

It wasn’t a close victory either with the vote coming down to 59 percent in favor of keeping abortion as a right to 41 percent who opposed. This is a solid rejection of the United State Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, the landmark decision that had protected abortion rights throughout the country. 

Republican lawmakers across the nation are in a frenzy to ban all abortions in yee-haw states, even when the life of the mother is in danger. Even in the case of rape and incest. Kansas is the first time it’s been given to voters instead of fundamentalist fucknut lawmakers. Kansas voters said no.

Here’s the thing, kids. Kansas is a yee-haw state. Donald Trump beat Joe Biden in Kansas in 2020, 56 percent to 41 percent. In that election, Kansas was 19 percent more Republican than the national average. Abortion got a higher percentage last night than Trump got in 2020.

How bad is it for this nation that Kansas is more liberal and reasonable than the Supreme Court?

Kansas is not pro-abortion. It’s not liberal about abortion. It’s not a liberal position to want abortion to remain legal, despite what Republicans tell you. Republicans are the ones who are extreme on this issue. Forcing a ten-year-old to have her rapist’s baby is the extreme position.

It’s safe to say that the majority of Kansas voters would allow restrictions on abortion, but they don’t want it banned outright. Today, abortion is legal in Kansas up to the 22nd week of pregnancy. Other Republican fucknut yee-haw states are trying to ban it outright. Who knew Kansas was more liberal than Ohio?

Republicans put this measure on the ballot believing they were on the right side of the issue. They thought Kansas voters would send a message to the nation on banning abortion. They were right. The right-wing conservative majority of Kansas said to keep abortion as a constitutional right. Oops.

In 2017, Gallup found that 70 percent of Republicans wanted abortion to remain legal. It said 56 percent wanted it legal in some circumstances while 14 percent said all. In 2018, an NBC/Wall Street Journal poll found that 52 percent of Republicans did NOT want Roe v. Wade overturned. A study by the Pew Research Center published June 13, 2022, found that 61 percent of U.S. adults say abortion should be legal in all or most cases

Republicans learned something last night. They learned not to give the issues to voters again. While I’m sure all the yee-haw states would love to restrict the hell out of abortion, I bet the majority of voters in every state would vote to keep abortion legal. I bet the majority of voters in every state think it’s a really horrible position to force a child to give birth to her rapist’s baby. The fact is, the majority of this nation is pro-choice.

What kind of monster would force a child to give birth to her rapist’s baby? A fundamentalist fucknut Republican monster.

Pro-choice is not pro-abortion. Pro-choice people don’t love abortion.

Years ago when my little sister was a teenager, I asked if she was pro-life or pro-choice. She said she was pro-life as she thought abortion was wrong and she could never see herself getting one. So I said, “So, you believe abortion should be illegal.” And she said, “God, no. That option should be there, especially in the case of rape and incest. I just wouldn’t get one.” Then I had to give my little sister the horrible news that she was pro-choice. Now, she may have changed her mind since then since she’s gone full MAGA, but my point is, pro-choice is not pro-abortion.

The fact is, abortion should remain legal, even if you hate it.

Republicans can click their heels all they want but it won’t stop their anti-abortion position from always being the wrong position. Republicans know this too. You can bet they won’t put any more abortion questions on red state ballots again.

Music note: No, I did NOT listen to the Wizard of Oz soundtrack while drawing this. I listened to Weezer.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Rapey McForehead


Bad news, pro-choice ladies. Rapey McForehead says you’re too ugly to sleep with and impregnate. Awww…I know. You’re heartbroken. I know you had your hopes up. Sorry.

Matt Gaetz is a vile reprehensible disgusting troll, so it makes perfect sense he kinda looks like a garden troll. But even garden trolls in their late 30s wouldn’t try to take your daughter to prom.

Your garden troll would also probably have too much respect for women to show nude photos of them to colleagues on the floor of the United States House of Representatives.

But even if your garden troll was vile, reprehensible, disgusting, and had zero respect for women, he probably wouldn’t be dumb enough to go around grading the physical aspects of women while he was under an FBI investigation for having sex with a minor. And that’s exactly what Florida Representative Matt Gaetz is doing, commenting on the physical aspects of protesters while he himself is under investigation for having sex with a minor, paying for sex, and sex trafficking.

At the same conference, where he was telling kids “say no to fatties,” Matt Gaetz made a comment that Mike Pence will “never be president,” and refered to him as a “RINO.” Really? Mike Pence is a moderate? Maybe somewhere in the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s multiverse, there’s a moderate Mike Pence. But, Pence’s former Chief of Staff, Marc Short, took notice of Gaetz’s comment and said, “Well, I don’t know if Mike Pence will run for president in 2024, but I don’t think Matt Gaetz will have an impact on that. In fact, I’d be surprised if he’s still voting. It’s more likely he’ll be in prison for child trafficking by 2024.”

Speaking to Turning Point USA Student Action Summit in Tampa, yeah…kids, Matt Gaetz said women who care about reproductive rights and control over their bodies are too ugly for him and other Republicans to fuck. It was very reminiscent of when Donald Trump defended himself by saying his accusers weren’t hot enough for him to sexually assault.

Gaetz told students (who thought this was a good idea?), “How many of the women rallying against overturning Roe are over-educated, under-loved millennials who sadly return from protests to a lonely microwave dinner with their cats, and no bumble matches?”

Hey, kids. It’s fun and totally appropriate to sexualize women. The congressman does. The only hope here is that the kids were too distracted by Gaetz’s giant freaking forehead to have paid attention to the sexism that was coming out of his stupid big-teeth mouth.

This is a tactic Republicans often use when they can’t counter an argument. They try to destroy their opponent’s credibility. The problem with Gaetz’s use of this tactic is that Gaetz isn’t smart enough to use it. What does anyone’s physical appearance have to do with their position on human rights? Gaetz isn’t smart enough to understand that a lot of people advocate for the rights of other people, even if it doesn’t personally affect them. Case in point: I believe in abortion rights even though I can’t get pregnant and don’t plan on impregnating anyone ever again. I oppose GOP efforts to make it harder for black Americans to vote, even though their racist legislation won’t affect my right to vote.

Gaetz and other Republicans don’t get that you can care about people who are not you. Even Homer Simpson eventually had this epiphany in The Simpson’s Movie.

But, Gaetz wasn’t done. The guy who can’t get laid unless he pays a child for it (supposedly) said, “Have you watched these pro-abortion, pro-murder rallies? The people are just disgusting. But why is it that the women with the least likelihood of getting pregnant are the ones most worried about having abortions? Nobody wants to impregnate you if you look like a thumb. These people are odious on the inside and out. They’re like 5’2”, 350 pounds, and they’re like, ‘Give me my abortion or I’ll get up and march and protest.’ I’m thinking, march? You look like you got ankles weaker than the legal reasoning behind Roe v. Wade. A few of ‘em need to get up and march. They need to get up and march for like an hour a day, swing those arms, get the blood pumping, maybe mix in a salad.” I wonder if Gaetz swings his arms while trolling high schools?

Apparently, Gaetz has been seeking out PILFs, protesters he’d like to fuck. At some point, I hope the person who booked Gaetz for this event realizes it wasn’t a good idea to book a man in favor of forcing ten-year-old girls to give birth to their rapists’ babies, might be a rapist himself.

Hey, everyone, the possible pedophile has some thoughts on your abortion protest.

But what if Gaetz is right? What if a person can be too ugly to protest? If some people are too ugly to protest, then some people are too stupid looking to serve in Congress.

And if having someone who wants to sleep with you is a requirement to have an opinion, then every incel on GAB, 4chan, Truth Social, and all the other social media sites need to get off the internet. Paying someone for sex doesn’t count, since they have to WANT to sleep with you.

Why is it that the men who think they’re qualified to determine who is and isn’t attractive enough to have sex are always men who look like Donald Trump and Matt Gaetz? Has Matt Gaetz seen himself? Does he have a mirror large enough to catch his face and forehead? Why is it that the men who criticize women’s appearances the most are always the men who’ve been accused of rape and sexual assault?

This brings up the late great George Carlin, who Gaetz stole his bit from (we have the internet too, fucko). Carlin asked, ““Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place?”

Looking at Matt Gaetz and Donald Trump, quite frankly, I think most women would rather fuck a garden troll.

Creative note: The title of this blog was actually just a holding title, and I forgot to change it before publishing. Eh. Oh well.

Music note: I listened to Hall & Oates and The Cars while drawing today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

A Republican Problem


I drew a similar cartoon about a month ago but focused on baby formula. That cartoon actually grew from this idea, but I wanted to return to it today.

In the blog for that cartoon, I included George Carlin’s famous rant about Republicans and their “pro-life” position that if you’re pre-born, you good, but after you’re born, you’re fucked.

One ranking has the United States 33rd out of 36 first-world nations in infant mortality. That’s nearly six deaths per 1,000 births. Of 41 nations UNICEF ranked on child poverty, the United States was fourth from the bottom. In the same UNICEF ranking, the U.S. ranks 32 in mental well-being and 38 in physical health.

Republicans are excited about ending abortion and protecting the life of a fetus, but fuck that fetus once it’s a legitimate human being. Republicans oppose social welfare while loving corporate welfare. We spend twice on corporate welfare than we do on social welfare. Republicans want welfare recipients drug-tested…well, just the social welfare recipients. The corporate guys can be total snort heads for all they are. None of the big oil executives reaping record profits at this time while also receiving government welfare are required to piss in cups.

The drug-testing requirement is cruel. Republicans are willing to starve a child if its mother has a little marijuana in her system. If you are on welfare and have a child and you smoke a little weed, I don’t care. I care about the child and since all children are terrorists, you probably need that weed.

I grew up in and out of poverty and I can tell you from personal experience that when bill collectors knock on doors, it affects the children.

Republicans don’t want the government to finance prenatal care. You would think that at the very least, they’d want to increase healthcare for that fetus they’re so concerned with. They don’t want to finance health care for children. They don’t want anything to do with extending maternity leave. They don’t want to assist with daycare for when the maternity leave is over. And damn if they don’t want to defund school lunches.

President Biden proposed cash payments for parents, universal prekindergarten, and other family benefit programs such as expanded child-care subsidies, but Republicans oppose every bit of it. Analysts say last year’s expiration of Biden’s one-year expansion of the child-tax-credit, that every Republican not named Mitt Romney opposed led to a 41 percent spike in child poverty.

Senate goon Rick Scott said he opposes efforts to create programs that would reward parents who do not work, so basically, fuck that kid if its parents are lazy. Goon Senator Patrick Toomey said he had not given thought to the idea of expanded child benefit support, because goons only think about the pre-born…after you’re born, you’re fucked. Ted Cruz, one of the gooniest of goons in the Senate, said Republicans will look to “enact policies that make it easier for families to raise kids,” but his party would oppose new spending measures.

I did the math on Ted Cruz’s plan of new policies making it easier for families to raise kids without new spending measures from the government, and have discovered zero plus zero equals Republican bullshit. I have two middle fingers for Ted. One middle finger plus one middle finger equals fuck you, Ted Cruz.

Ted Cruz probably believes the best reason to have children is so you can blame them for your sudden cowardly retreats to Cancun when the going gets tough.

Ted said, “There is always support in the Republican conference for tax cuts; there is always support in the Democratic conference for spending more and more money.” No, Captain Asshat. There’s is always Republican support for tax cuts for corporations, billionaire assholes, and trust-fund babies. Republicans opposed the child-tax credit. Hell, Rick Scott even proposed raising taxes that would have pushed over 18 million Americans into poverty.

And, when it comes to gun violence that slaughters children like the 19 in Uvalde, the best plans Republicans can come up with are eliminating doors and adding more guns to society.

George Carlin was right. When it comes to Republicans, “If you’re pre-born, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked.”

Creative note: I started this cartoon yesterday but put it aside for the demon football prayer cartoon.

Music note: I listened to Coheed and Cambria while drawing and coloring all these babies.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Our Dystopian Future


The people who argue that you can’t ban guns because people will still get guns are the same troglodytes who support banning abortion. But you don’t ban abortion, you just outlaw it.

This is a momentous occasion and I wasn’t sure how to address it with a cartoon. I’m still not sure. There’s so much to take from this.

Roe v. Wade was overturned by the will of the minority in this nation. More Americans voted against Donald Trump than for him. More Americans voted for Democratic Senate candidates than for Republicans. Yet, the people who were put in power by the few placed three justices on the court to overturn Roe v. Wade.

The justices lied in their confirmation hearings. They each assured us that the Constitutional right to an abortion was precedent and protected law. Somehow after they were confirmed, it became “egregiously wrong.”

The man who nominated three of the six justices who overturned abortion tried to steal an election he lost through a coup and install himself as a fascist dictator.

Three of the six justices are sitting in stolen seats. Neil Gorsuch’s seat was stolen from an Obama nominee because Mitch McConnell wouldn’t even allow a hearing, claiming it was too close to an election and the people needed to have a say in the next appointment, never mind the fact that after the election more people had voted for Hillary Clinton than Trump and for more Democrats than Republicans, who voted to confirm Neil Gorsuch.

The seat Brett Kavanaugh sits in was occupied by Justice Anthony Kennedy, who resigned so Trump could fill it…which he couldn’t have filled if Putin hadn’t meddled in our election to install Trump into the presidency. Take it for what it’s worth, but for years, Kennedy’s son was in charge of real estate loans for Deutsche Bank, and he approved millions in loans for Trump when no other bank would.

Amy Coney Barrett, who had less than three years of experience as a judge before her nomination, is sitting in Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s seat, which became vacant less than two months before the election. So according to Mitch McConnell’s own argument about letting the people decide in the next election, Barrett is sitting in a stolen seat.

One of the six justices who voted to overturn Roe v. Wade, Clarence Thomas, is married to a woman who helped Trump try to steal the election and install himself as a fascist dictator.

Each of the six justices are religious zealots. They are dictating laws onto this nation based not on the Constitution, but their fundamentalism.

All six of justice have been members of the Federalist Society, and extreme far-right fucknut legal club that has too much influence on our nation’s legal system. They provided Donald Trump with a list of judicial candidates to choose from.

The Supreme Court didn’t ban abortion outright. They just overturned Roe v. Wade and gave the decision to the states. We can expect at least 26 states to ban outright and several other states to pass heavy restrictions.

Republicans have always cried that abortion should be left to the states, not the federal government. But since Republicans are lying goons, we will see bills brought up in Congress to ban abortion nationally. If Republicans take the House and Senate and have enough votes to override a presidential veto, abortion will be outlawed even in blue states like New York, New Jersey, Colorado, Oregon, Washington, California, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, etc.

Will there be some Republicans in the House and Senate who will vote against a national ban on abortions? Sure, but their numbers are low and there are morons amongst them. Senator Susan Collins actually believed Brett Kavanaugh when he “assured” her he wouldn’t overturn Roe vs. Wade and voted to confirm him.

A lot of people are speculating abortion is just the first domino and contraception, marriage equality, and even integration of schools will be banned. Clarence Thomas has basically asked the yee-haw states to send cases on those issues to the Supreme Court so they ban those items.

If you’re thinking “golly-gee wilikens, they wouldn’t take a case restricting birth control as an excuse to outright ban it,” you are more gullible than Susan Collins. The very case they used to overturn Roe v. Wade wasn’t a total ban on abortion. The case from Mississippi was a ban on abortions after 15 weeks. The Supreme Court would have been wrong to side with Mississippi on the ban after 15 weeks, but instead of just being wrong, the six justices overstepped their mandate.

This is the deal Mitch McConnell and Republicans made with the devil, Donald Trump. They’ve been trying to end abortion since 1973. They don’t care that they could only do it by deception and through a racist pussy-grabbing narcissistic orange shitgibbon. And they’re not done since it’s still legal in every state.

Republicans are not going to be satisfied to let blue states make their own decisions. The evidence of that is they aren’t letting women make their own decisions.

Music note: I listened to some Incubus and Stone Temple Pilots while drawing all these bricks.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Alito’s Permission


The decision about to be handed down by the Supreme Court allowing states to outright ban abortion is a sexist one made mostly by men. These men have made up their minds about what a woman can or can’t do with their bodies. They’re not legislating what men can or can’t do with their bodies. Four of the five justices in the majority on this are Catholics. While 23 percent of the nation identifies as Catholic, six out nine of the current Supreme Court justices practice Catholicism.

Conservatives will point out that one of the justices voting to ban abortion is a woman. Yes, Amy Coney Barrett is a woman and one of the Catholics on the bench. But, she’s not just a Catholic. She’s also a member of People of Praise, a network of ecumenical intentional communities. What the hell is an intentional community? Think of it like a commune where everyone works toward the same goals, but spread out across the nation…and fanatical. It’s a cult. Many members do live together and seek advice/permission from leadership on everything from their household budget to whom they should marry. Members agree to submit to the leadership of a spiritual director and affirm a 181-word “covenant” that they frequently recite together. “We will serve one another and the community as a whole in all needs: spiritual, material, financial,” it reads in part. One former member of the cult said “The social scene was extremely Republican, very much Rush Limbaugh.” Nice.

For a story about the “covenant,” The New York Times attempted to interview current members of the group who didn’t respond to requests for interviews or declined to speak, citing concerns about privacy. Isn’t it special that the cult Amy Coney Barrett is a member of is concerned about PRIVACY? No, wait. They’re only concerned about the cult’s privacy.

In People of Praise, women are encouraged to work and have careers, but also to be subservient to men in a Christian tradition. Women can not hold leadership positions in the cult except as “woman leaders,” which is a position that teaches other women about their roles in the cult. Until 2017, “woman leader” was called “handmaiden.” They changed it after a TV adaptation of “A Handmaid’s Tale” gave the term a negative impression kinda in the same way Proud Boys, Oathkeepers, and Republicans eschew the term “Nazi.”

In the directory for one of the cult’s divisions in South Bend, Indiana, Amy Coney Barrett is listed as a “handmaid.” Maybe they just don’t use the term “handmaid” in public.

People are comparing this abortion ban to “A Handmaid’s Tale.” Meanwhile, we literally have a Supreme Court justice who identifies as a handmaiden. I find it incredulous that Amy Coney Barrett will ever cast a vote that would get her kicked out of this cult she’s been a member of since birth. A religious cult has a vote on the Supreme Court.

A document from the group titled “Men and Women in the People of Praise” says in one part that being the head of the household does not give a husband a license to dominate, but a wife “should take her husband’s direction seriously.” A husband’s responsibilities include “correcting” his wife should she stray from the proper path.

Of course, one of the Catholics on the court is Samuel Alito, who is writing the majority opinion banning abortions, arguing the word “abortion” is not in the Constitution. Based on that logic, everything that’s not mentioned in the Constitution from cars to airplanes to movie theaters to birth control to gay marriage to pop rocks are unconstitutional. Alito is “correcting” the Constitution and ordering the women in this nation not to stray from the proper path.

I wonder if People of Praise are as opposed to pop rocks as much as they are against gay marriage. Yes, Amy Coney Barrett believes gay marriage is a sin. Are sins constitutional? In fact, children of same-sex marriages are not allowed into the cult’s private schools. Is that sort of discrimination constitutional?

My point here is, we’re in trouble. While this decision wasn’t voted on entirely by men, you gotta take into account that the one woman voting to destroy abortion rights for women is in a male-dominated fundamentalist religious cult.

Creative note: I sketched out nine cartoons on the abortion case Thursday. And, I actually like most of them. I showed them all to Laura, one of my copy editors, and she said I should do a series and draw each one. I don’t think so but you will eventually see each of them.

Music note: I was able to listen to the entire Blue Album from Weezer while coloring this cartoon, plus six more songs from the Green Album and Maladroit.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Supreme Preggers


Conservatives roll their eyes when those of us who believe in a woman’s right to choose argue that there wouldn’t be any men opposing abortion if men could get pregnant. But, I truly believe this.

Do you honestly believe that white Christian males, the whiniest demographic in the history of whiny demographics, would be up for shooting an eight-pound baby out of their pee holes? We have nightmares about catheters and kidney stones.

I’ve heard before that if men could get pregnant that there would be abortions in ATM machines. Hell, I think they would be in vending machines and would come in assorted flavors. There would be a mint chocolate chip abortion if men could get pregnant.

You would be at a football game with your buddy when all of a sudden, he’d feel a kick and say, “I’ll be right back. I gotta go to the concession stand and get an abortion. Let me know if our team scores.” And you would just nod as a reply because it would happen so often.

Like comparing battle scars, men would compare how late into the pregnancy they got an abortion. Really? You got one in the 25th week? Ha! I got one in the 35th week.

And ya’ know what, if men could get pregnant, the word “abortion” would definitely be in the United States Constitution. It would be in there a LOT.

Sorry for the short blog but I have another deadline.

Music note: It was Prince.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Oppression With The Fringe On Top


It’s happening again. Another state is destroying women’s constitutional reproductive rights.

When one backward knuckle-dragging fucknut red state succeeds in destroying a freedom, then other backward fucknut states follow the lead.

Texas basically banned abortion, made it a criminal offense, and created a bounty-hunting business for anyone to report on a person receiving or giving an abortion. Yee-haw, motherfuckers.

Oklahoma, another yee-haw state, has copied Texas’ abortion restriction laws and has made ANY abortion illegal except to save the life of the pregnant woman. The governor has promised to sign every piece of legislation limiting abortion that reaches his desk. The new law would make performing an abortion or attempting to perform the procedure a felony punishable by a maximum fine of $100,000 or a maximum of 10 years in state prison, or both.  There’s another bill in progress that copies Texas’ bounty-hunter law.

With the bounty-hunter laws, you can report a person for receiving an abortion in Oklahoma and Texas, even if you don’t know that person and the abortion doesn’t affect you in any way. This law, allowing you to report and cash in on something that doesn’t affect you and isn’t your business, isn’t surprising when you realize most of the people who’ve been trying to destroy abortion rights don’t have a uterus.

I guarantee you this: If men could give birth, there would have been abortion pills in vending machines before we even thought about eradicating Polio. Cavemen would have invented the pill, and then the vending machines before they got around to the wheel and sliced bread. We wouldn’t even be talking about abortion except in sex-ed classes where students would have free condoms thrown at them. In Florida, Ron DeSantis would be teaching how to put a condom on a banana to kindergartners. Abortion would be as common as clipping your fingernails. And then if one religious zealot said out loud, “maybe there should be a few restrictions on abortion. I mean, doesn’t the fetus have rights? Isn’t it a person? Isn’t it…” He wouldn’t have finished that sentence because an angry mob would have beaten him to death with sticks, stones, and condom-wrapped bananas

There would be horror movies directed by men about men being forced to carry an abortion to term. That’s scarier than Jason Vorhees and Freddy Krueger riding into your bedroom on Jaws to a soundtrack provided by Nickelback.

But since men can’t get pregnant, they’re creating laws that will force rape victims to have their rapist’s babies. They’re forcing teenage girls to have their uncle’s babies.

Last Wednesday, Missouri Republicans passed a bill that allows family members to file wrongful death lawsuits. They’re banning “abortion-inducing drugs,” and defunding Planned Parenthood.

Federal Medicaid law protects every Medicaid patient’s right to choose their provider including Planned Parenthood. This does not fund abortions. There are other health treatments provided by Planned Parenthood like birth control, STI testing and treatment, cancer screenings, and other preventive services. But conservative men don’t care about those treatments as it doesn’t affect them. Other states that have “defunded” Planned Parenthood are Arkansas, Mississippi, and Texas. In Missouri, a state court said they can’t do this, but the legislature has ignored that ruling. This will also surely hit the 6-3 conservative majority Supreme Court.

The Democratic governor of Kentucky just vetoed an abortion-banning bill, but the Republicans will probably override it next week. In Maryland, the Republican governor VETOED a bill expanding abortion, but the Democratic majority in the state legislature overrode him.

Colorado, a blue state surrounded by abortion-restricting yee-haw states, signed a bill last week codifying abortion rights. The bill states, “The Reproductive Health Equity Act states that “every individual has a fundamental right to make decisions about the individual’s reproductive health care, including the fundamental right to use or refuse contraception; a pregnant individual has a fundamental right to continue a pregnancy and give birth or to have an abortion and to make decisions about how to exercise that right; and a fertilized egg, embryo, or fetus does not have independent or derivative rights under the laws of the state.” It also bans local governments from restricting abortion, like towns and counties in the district that sent Lauren Boebert to Congress.

Nebraska failed by two votes to advance a “trigger” bill that would have made abortion illegal immediately after Roe Vs. Wade is struck down by the Supreme Court because that’s exactly what Republicans are expecting.

The Supreme Court has allowed new abortion restrictions to stand in places like Texas, Mississippi, and Alabama. Republicans are chomping at the bit for a case to go before the Supreme Court that will finally give them the opportunity to ban abortions nationwide. I expect that to happen too. The pro-freedom people are all about banning freedom.

I think if we ban abortions then we need to also ban Viagra and all other erectile dysfunction medication. I researched this and I believe it’s a fact that nearly all abortions are created with the help of a penis. I’m also pretty sure every Republican male writing these abortion laws loves his penis and needs medication for his penis to work. It would explain why they’re so frustrated and angry.

I am being funny but I’m always funny when I’m serious. Democrats in each of these states need to try to attach riders to these bills that ban penis pills. Sure, they won’t survive but it’ll make a very loud point. The point will be that Republican men are totally opposed to their private parts being legislated. I can not wait to hear Ted Cruz give a passionate speech about dick rights.

Or at the very least, Democrats in these state legislatures should craft bills banning Taliban laws. Have fun with that.

My advice to women who live in yee-haw states is…move.

Music note: I listened to some Bob Seger last night while taking a walk and it got good to me. So I started listening to it again while drawing today and then it got very tired. Classic rock does that to me. I’ll go a long time without listening to an artist, and it’ll be good when I finally do…and then it’s too much and it’ll be like four years at least before I listen to another Bob Seger song. So, I switched over to Blondie who was nearby in the B’s. Yeah, that’s classic rock too, but it’s weird so it’s still fresh to me.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

15 Weeks


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Abortion is doomed, and with it, so is the Constitution.

Donald Trump is gone from the White House but his lingering stench will be smelled for at least the next 30 years. This is why Mitch McConnell stole two Supreme Court seats, one from President Obama and the other from President Biden. A juvenile pig like Donald Trump shouldn’t be allowed to order for himself off the McDonald’s kids menu less enough to have three nominations for the Supreme Court.

America, you got robbed.

Amy Coney Barrett, who was the second pick stolen from Democratic presidents by McConnell, tried to make a case that abortions weren’t necessary anymore since women could just drop babies off at police stations and firehouses. This is the best legal mind Trump could find? Forget legal arguments and let’s go with batshit crazy religious zealotry.

Barrett also stated, “There is, without question, an infringement on bodily autonomy, you know, which we have in other contexts, like vaccines.” This is zealotry. I suppose Barrett never caught polio because of an “infringement on her bodily autonomy.”

Mississippi is trying to ban abortion. They enacted a law banning abortion after the 15th week of pregnancy. Texas has it around six weeks (when a heartbeat is detected). The Supreme Court established in 1973 a constitutional right to abortion and prohibited states from banning the procedure before fetal viability, currently around 23 weeks.

Brett Kavanaugh asked the lawyer for Mississippi, “In other words, that the Constitution is neither pro-life nor pro-choice on the question of abortion but leaves the issue for the people of the states or perhaps Congress to resolve in the democratic process?” He’s arguing it’s not a Constitutional right. He’s setting a precedent for their upcoming ruling, which we’ll probably get around June.

The people who argue against abortion are basing it on religion instead of a Constitutional right. Religion should not be a factor in constitutional decisions other than it’s protected. The Supreme Court, which has upheld the separation of church and state, is using the church to decide on matters of states. The Supreme Court is full of zealots.

The Supreme Court didn’t have to take this case, but they did so they can ban abortions. I expect the court to make it legal for states to ban abortions outright…and give Congress the right to ban it nationwide in the future. Vote Democratic, people.

Justice Sonia Sotomayor asked, “Will this institution survive the stench that this creates in the public perception that the Constitution and its reading are just political acts?”

Too late.

Creative note: Today’s drawing music was the Violent Femmes and Veruca Salt.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Tucker Loves The Fetus, Hates The Child


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Forget seeing Jon Gruden’s emails for a minute. I want to see Tucker Carlson’s emails. I mean, if this guy is flagrantly exhibiting his hate and homophobia to the world on primetime television, I wanna see the stuff he’s secretly saying to his closest confidantes.

Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg and his husband Chasten have adopted premature infant newborn twins. Buttigieg, formerly “Mayor Pete,” had taken paternity, or parental, leave to help care for the newborns. Of course, a guy who works so hard at things that he would learn Norwegian just to read one book is the kind of guy who would suck at taking a leave, because he kept working. But, there is an outrage. What is that outrage? Well, I’m not sure. Let’s listen to Tucker Carlson.

Tucker had a huge problem with Buttigieg taking paternity leave, saying on his show that’s rated number-one with white nationalists, “Pete Buttigieg has been on leave from his job since August after adopting a child. Paternity leave, they call it, trying to figure out how to breastfeed. No word on how that went.”

Apparently, it went pretty well. Pete responded, “I guess he just doesn’t understand the concept of bottle feeding, let alone the concept of paternity leave.” By the way, has Tucker ever actually seen a breast? Maybe he lies about it like in the movie, “40-Year-Old Virgin.” It feels like a bag of sand.

Later, Pete told Jake Tapper on his show popular with people who want facts, “I’m not going to apologize to Tucker Carlson or anyone else for taking care of my premature newborn infant twins. The work that we are doing is joyful, fulfilling, wonderful work. It’s important work, and it’s work that every American ought to be able to do when they welcome a new child into their family. I campaigned on that.”

Pete pointed out, “What is really strange is that, you know, this is from a side of the aisle that used to claim the mantle of being pro-family. What we have right now is an administration that’s actually pro-family.”

Yeah. What happened to that pro-family stuff Republicans always claimed to champion? Did it go out the window when they made the leader of their party the pussy-grabbing thrice-married father of five with three different women who’s been accused of sexual assault, including rape, over 25 times? Did they chuck their family values out the window with their platforms of patriotism, defense of America from Russia, anti-terrorism, and love of conservative fiscal policies?

Gay marriage is the law of the land now and legal in every state, even Utah. Is Tucker’s attack on Buttigieg’s paternity leave a veiled swipe at gay marriage? But then again, abortion is the law of the land too and Republicans are trying to overturn that, so maybe they’ll do the same with gay marriage. Republicans love trying to control other people’s lives. While screaming about vaccine mandates, they’re mandating what women can and can’t do with their own bodies. But just like some stranger’s abortion isn’t Tucker’s business, either is Pete and Chaz’s marriage…or their adoption of twins.

And what is this business of demanding that every fetus be delivered then abandoning when it becomes a child? People like Tucker demand the birth of a baby, even if it’s the result of a rape, then demand we don’t help through government funds to feed it, educate it, or give it any care. They’re against school lunches. They demand parents to be drug tested before they can receive any assistance. And if the parent tests positive for a little weed, then the child should starve. They also don’t want the child to have any healthcare. No healthcare. No prenatal. No nothing. But, yay it’s born.

Tucker is obtuse and he lacks self-awareness. His outlook is from a rich-privileged-white-kid boarding school education. He did attempt to apologize for his homophobic attack after getting owned by Buttigieg. He replied to Buttigieg, “Last night on this show we made a brief, offhand joke about the Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg, and this morning we discovered our error. It turns out that Buttigieg is not a dwarfish fraud whose utter mediocrity indicts the class that produced him. No, not at all. Pete Buttigieg was once the mayor of South Bend, Indiana. So understandably, going forward, we are. And of course we will. Our mistake.”

That’s an apology? I bet Tucker thinks that funny. I bet his audience believes it’s hilarious. But then again, these are the same idiots who believe the hashtag, #LetsGoBrandon is witty and hilarious. Pssst, Republicans. I don’t need a code to say, “Fuck Trump.”

But what sort of audience does Tucker have, I mean, other than white nationalists? OK, they’re all white nationalists, but let’s take a look at how they feel about Pete Buttigieg taking paternity leave. For this, we’re going to scroll through one of my former friend’s Facebook page. My former friend is an alt-right racist Nazi-supporting former Never-Trump who now attacks Never-Trumpers. He is the perfect example of the vileness of the Trump Cult and is up to date on current bigoted and Fox News talking points. He made two posts about Buttigieg’s adoption and paternity leave. Let’s see what he said and how his racist fucknut friends replied.

His first post on Buttigieg is: Transportation secretary, Pete Buttigieg, tonight referred to the two babies he just adopted as, “my new kids”. I’ve never heard a new parent refer to their recently born infants as “my new kids”. It’s Iike he’s referring to a just-purchased turtleneck or badminton racket.

His quibble is with the reference, “My new kids.” Well, you gotta quibble when you don’t have anything, like outrage over Joe Biden liking ice cream. That sonofabitch likes chunky monkey. I digress. Let’s check out a few replies to the post.

They are: “He’s insufferable. Two months paid vacation on the taxpayers dime. Wow.” How many days was Trump at his golf courses?

“It makes no sense on purpose. They are gay men pretending to be “\’parents’. And it’s our shortcomings if we cannot make fantasy into reality.”

“For a NY MinuteI thought you said Pete’s buttplug.”

“Those kids are now positioned, in my opinion, to be the recipients of some major Child Abuse. I feel sorry for those children. They don’t deserve that.” Actually, most child abuse is committed by heterosexuals.

“Please, you deluded gay narcissists, hire a compassionate competent nanny.It’s their only hope.” Maybe they can get Obi Wan Kenobi…he’s their only hope.

My first two takeaways are that these goons are really homophobic and sure know a lot about butt plugs. Then, just as you were wondering about their butt plug obsession, another post was made that drew new homophobic comments. Let’s take another gander if we have the stomach for it.

The second post on Buttigieg is: “I hope Mayor Pete is healing well during his maternity leave.” The guy doesn’t understand the difference between “maternity” and “paternity,” so maybe he shouldn’t be telling women what to do with their bodies, hmm?

Some of those replies are: “I wonder how they did the episiotomy was performed.” Hey, I’m not correcting their grammar.

“I just looked it up and his husband is a drama teacher. So, do they both get maternity leave?” This person complained her maternity leave was shorter than Pete’s paternity leave, so you’d think she’d understand the difference.

“Heard he had difficulty with the lactation Department.”

“Wonder did he have an episiotomy….” An obsession with episiotomies and butt plugs. Nice.

“Pete knows more about umbilical cords, than supply chains.”

There were a lot more, like the comparison that Kayleigh McEnany only took two weeks off compared to Buttigieg’s two months (when he kept working). But maybe Kayleigh doesn’t love her baby as much as Pete loves his twins. The real big takeaway here is, these people are homophobic and ignorant. They don’t know what they’re talking about despite having a lot of opinions on the subject.

The reason these people are so ignorant is because they’re the people Tucker Carlson is talking to. It’s also partly why they’re so racist because Tucker’s show is the highest-rated show among white nationalists.

If your argument is Buttigieg shouldn’t be able to take a paternity leave for so long because other people can’t, then stop opposing it. We’re trying to make parental leave more available to everyone. As Buttigieg said, “It’s important work, and it’s work that every American ought to be able to do when they welcome a new child into their family. I campaigned on that.”

Conservatives always argue that if they didn’t get something good, or things were hard on them, then it should be hard on everyone else. They argue against free tuition because they didn’t get it. I thought we wanted better for our children. Conservatives do not. They don’t want paternity leave or the children they forced to be born to be adopted to people who will provide loving homes and become great parents.

For conservatives, it’s love the fetus, hate the child. It’s like what the late and great George Carlin said.

“Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren’t they? They’re all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you’re born, you’re on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don’t want to know about you. They don’t want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you’re preborn, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FOUR copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: