Kids, I’m in the Denver airport and it’s 5 AM. The coffee places are just now opening and they’re calling to me. I’m also super sleepy, so you’re not going to get a blog for this until later. Probably much later. Sorry. I’m on the move.
For now, someone else write the blog for me on this issue and leave it in the comments. This should be fun.
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Renting a moving truck from U-Haul to go from Alabama to Connecticut will cost somewhere between $600 to $800, depending on the size truck you need. Why did I look this information up? Because, if you’re in Alabama, you need to get out. As a public service, I’m giving you an idea on the cost.
Why did I pick Connecticut? Because some state officials in Connecticut have offered safe haven to Alabamians who wish to escape their state’s new restrictive abortion laws. Though the law isn’t actually legal yet despite the governor signing it, Alabama seeks to become the most restrictive state in regards to abortion. Connecticut, which has codified abortion, is the most progressive on the subject. Alabama wants to ban abortion entirely, even in the case of rape and incest. If this law becomes an actual law, a woman in Alabama impregnated from rape could face a stiffer prison sentence than her attacker.
But, if you’re from Alabama, even if you’re progressive, you’re probably not going to like Connecticut. It’s expensive and you’ll think Yankees talk funny. It’s also close to Boston, so you’ve been warned.
I do find the invitation extended to Alabamians from Connecticut ridiculous. Even though it seems like it’s Alabamistan, it’s not a foreign country. Alabama is in the same nation as Connecticut. You don’t need an invitation. You’re free to move about the country as you wish. So, if you want to escape Alabama, and I recommend that you do, you can choose whichever state you want. However, there are several states to avoid as they seek to legislate their religion to create women-punishing laws nearly as strict as Alabama’s. Which ones are they? Glad you asked because here we go.
Don’t go to Georgia. It’s a beautiful place and I lived there for three years when I was a teenager. I even went to high school with Amy Carter, daughter of former president Jimmy Carter. They have pecans, peaches, lots of red clay, and the Georgia Bulldogs. It was the home to Martin Luther King Jr. and is the base for Mike Luckovich of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, a friend of mine and one of the nation’s best political cartoonists. But, in addition to banning abortions after six weeks, the state also suppresses votes from African-Americans. Don’t go to Georgia.
Missouri. They just passed a bill that bans abortions after a heartbeat is detected, and it allows exceptions for medical emergencies but not for pregnancies caused by rape or incest. Plus, it’s Missouri.
Ohio. Another one of those “heartbeat” bills and the governor signed it. On top of that, Cleveland is in Ohio.
Mississippi. I started my career in the state and lived in Batesville, Brookhaven, Gulfport, and Jackson. The state has given us some of America’s greatest authors from Eudora Welty (my college was across the street from her house. I never saw her), Willie Morris, John Grisham, and of course, William Faulkner. They have the best barbecue and a new abortion bill that they call, wait for it…the “heartbeat” bill.
Kentucky. Rand Paul, Mitch McConnell (yet, they shoot lame race horses) and…you guessed it, a “heartbeat” bill. Don’t go to Kentucky.
Louisiana, where I spent the majority of my youth against my will. “Heartbeat” bill.
I’ll just mention the rest for the sake of brevity. Texas, Utah, West Virginia, South Carolina, Iowa, and Florida. Basically, avoid any state that voted for Trump.
Today, a trial is set to begin in a lawsuit filed by women’s health groups seeking to overturn restrictions on abortion providers in Virginia, my state. One of those restrictions is that a woman must get an ultrasound before an abortion. I’m surprised they don’t make her name the fetus first.
These laws are not about life. They’re about control and religious fundamentalism. The governor of Alabama made that clear when she said the law “stands as a powerful testament to Alabamians’ deeply held belief that every life is precious and that every life is a sacred gift from God.” These people don’t even believe in separation of church and state. They don’t believe in the Constitution. These lawmakers are pushing the issue hoping their state is the one that finally gets the Supreme Court to strike down Roe v. Wade.
This is a war on women. Make no mistake about it. If they actually succeed in banning abortion nationwide, what will they go after next? Remember how elections have consequences? Two of those consequences are named “Neil Gorsuch” and “Brett Kavanaugh.” Liberals need to vote with SCOTUS in mind, just like conservatives do.
If conservatives, Republicans, religious yahoos, and Trump cultists get their way, moving to Connecticut or any progressive state won’t be an escape for anyone. It’s time to stop running. It’s time to take a stand. We have to stop allowing these people from legislating their morality onto the rest of us.
Chains or change. It’s up to you.
Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you.
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!
Alabama is not trying to ban all abortions in their state. They’re trying to ban them nationwide.
Just in case the restrictive, extreme, and unconstitutional efforts currently underway in Georgia, Indiana, Ohio, and the four other states attacking abortion rights don’t push the issue fast enough to the Supreme Court (now, with even more fucknuts), the Alabama abortion ban will surely fast track it.
Make no mistake about it. Conservatives are always inventing ways to deny access to women’s health in their states, but what they’d doing today, from giving timelines to outright bans is only going on now because of Donald Trump’s two new SCOTUS appointees. Now you know why Republicans sacrificed all their principles and former positions to steal a seat from President Obama.
The new law in Alabama, signed late yesterday afternoon by their governor, doesn’t even make exceptions in the case of rape and incest. If a woman pursues an abortion out of state, somehow, Alabama intends to track her down and throw her in prison.
There is a reason Alabama is one of the least-educated states in the nation. Educated people tend to be more enlightened. Don’t look for enlightenment from the majority in Alabama. Enlightened people don’t grant more rights to rapists than to their victims.
And to my niece and her two daughters, who I dedicate this cartoon to, GTFO.
Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you.
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!
What scares Republicans more than a right-wing racist lie about a diseased caravan full of gang bangers, Islamic terrorists, and immigrants seeking to sponge off American welfare and vote illegally? American minorities who vote. Yikes!
Republicans create lies about millions of illegal voters destroying the integrity of our elections while working overtime to prevent legally eligible Americans from voting. For the past several decades, Republicans have been successful. Today, Republicans hold the majority in the United States Senate despite representing nearly 40 million fewer Americans than Democrats. The 51 Republican senators represents 143 million people while the Democratic Party represents 182 million. How do they do that?
For starters, Republicans represent more small states than Democrats. Every state has two senators (civics 101, people). So, South Dakota’s 563,000 residents have as much representation in the Senate as California’s 40 million residents. Out of the 30 smallest states, the GOP holds 35 seats to the Democrats’ 20. In the 20 largest states, Democrats hold 24 to the GOP’s 16. There are seven states (Alaska, Delaware, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming) that have more senators than congressional districts. These are the people who are deciding the shape of the Supreme Court for the next 40 years. And people wonder why I have trouble sleeping.
Having an unfair advantage in the system isn’t enough for Republicans. They still have to cheat. Their favorite method of holding more seats in the Senate, House, state legislatures, and governorships is to prevent minorities from voting. They’ve been doing it since the Civil War. The Democrats started it in the South and the Republicans took over in the 1960s. They’re still doing it today.
In Alabama, they closed as many locations as possible where African-Americans could obtain IDs. Basically, they make laws that you need an ID to vote and then make it as difficult as possible to get an ID. Do you know how hard it is to replace an ID? I had to do that last year and I needed my birth certificate (which Texas did not want to give me but gave it to my son. They probably thought I was black) and I had to use a college transcript for my secondary identification. You need IDs (plural) to get an ID. Lesson is; don’t lose your shit (or let a girl take everything that belongs to you).
In a majority-white county in Texas, they’ve been trying to prevent students from black-majority Prairie View University from voting for decades. The GOPs latest trick was to give them two addresses for the school to use as their residence when registering to vote, and later saying they’ll only accept one (Gotcha!). They later said they’d allow both after there were a very loud uproar and media exposure of the suppression attempt. Surprisingly, only one Democrat was arrested for complaining. Seriously.
North Dakota Republicans have successfully purged Native Americans, who typically vote Democratic, from voting by ruling that they need a street address. The GOP Supreme Court was just fine with this. Post Offices usually only deliver mail to P.O. boxes at reservations, so there are no street addresses on their IDs. Does Elizabeth Warren really want to prove she’s Native American? While Donald Trump attacks one, North Dakota attacks all of them.
In Georgia, the Republican Secretary of State has purged 53,000 voter registrations that weren’t “exact matches” with Social Security and state driver records. Out of those 53,000, 70 percent were from black applicants (Surprise!). The Secretary of State, Brian Kemp, was even caught on a leaked audio complaining about high voter turnout. Kemp is the Republican candidate running for governor, and he’s refused to step down as Secretary of State. Basically, he’s the referee of the game he’s playing. It’s like back when my older sister managed the bank while we played Monopoly. I never won and I was always stuck being the shoe.
Dodge City, Kansas, a city with 13,000 voters, only provides one polling place to vote. The average Kansas polling site services 1,200 voters. Now, the city has moved the polling place from the civic center to outside the city limits, and more than a mile from the nearest bus stop. You literally have to get the hell out of Dodge to vote. When the ACLU emailed a complaint to the county clerk, she forwarded it to the Secretary of State with “LOL.” Surprisingly, it wasn’t “bwahahahaha.”
By the way, Kansas’ Secretary of State is Kris Kobach who has a long and distinguished career of working to restrict minority voting under the ruse of illegal aliens voting. In his job, he fought to remove over 20,000 people from voter registrations (and he got seven convictions for voter fraud). He was vice-chair of Donald Trump’s Commission on Election Integrity, which was eventually disbanded as the basis for its existence. The claim of millions of illegal voters turned out to be a lie, and they failed to find any integrity among the members of the Commission of Election Integrity. Guess what Kobach is doing now? Yup. Running for governor.
We are supposed to agree to disagree and respect differences of opinions. But, I refuse to simply disagree when you’re cheating to steal an election and your opinions are repugnant, racist, vile, and based on lies. I can’t respect your opinion when you got it from a Facebook meme.
Republicans vote. Even in races that are tied or Democrats have a slim lead, the Republican candidate is favored because Republicans are better at turning out to vote than Democrats or Independents. That’s why YOU need to get off your ass and vote this coming Tuesday. Don’t let them steal this, because they will. Look at Brett Kavanaugh. They don’t care if there are asterisks as long as they get what they want. Your second lesson of today is; Republicans are corrupt.
The only way we can beat Republicans is if there are more of us participating honestly than there are of them stealing it from us.
Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you.
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!
The headline writers at The New York Post and The Daily News both went with front pages featuring Star Wars and telling Alabama Senatorial candidate and accused pedophile Roy Moore to “F off” on the horse he rode in on. I don’t think that’s very nice, because why take it out on the horse? Hasn’t that beast been through enough abuse? She’s already had to gallop with Moore’s ass on her, who doesn’t know how to ride, and been stuck with the name “Sassy.” Nobody wants to be a Sassy.
Before the state elections in Virginia last month, many people predicted the Republicans would win while others believed it was too close to call. We were surprised when the Democrats won by such huge margins. Alabama’s special election for the Senate seat vacated by Jeff Sessions also had people afraid to make predictions. The result isn’t as surprising as much as it’s a political earthquake.
Democrat Doug Jones beat Moore by less than two percentage points. While it may be discouraging that 48% of voters would rather vote for a pedophile than a Democrat, and nearly two percent more chose to write in a candidate, this is still Alabama.
It’s been pointed out that Jones did far better in Alabama than Hillary Clinton did in 2016. But, it’s not really amazing that a white Democrat, or any white guy, would do better in Alabama than Hillary Clinton. What is truly impressive is that Jones did better in Alabama than Barack Obama did in 2008 and 2012. Keep in mind, this was a special election where turnouts are usually lower. What is also surprising is that Moore, a guy who said we should do away with the 16th Amendment which ended slavery, received four percent of the black vote.
This is a state where Trump won by nearly 30%. In each election since 2016, the Republican results have been less than Trump’s from November 2016, but this is still Alabama. This is where Trump’s approval, though it’s been decreasing, is the highest in the nation.
Trump endorsed the pedophile. Trump made robocalls for the pedophile. Trump campaigned for the pedophile. Maybe voters weren’t rejecting Trump as much as they ignored him…but Trump failed to bring home a win. This is a defeat for Trump, though Republicans in the Senate should be breathing a sigh of relief despite losing a seat and their margin of majority thinning. They won’t be “saddled” by Roy Moore for the next three years.
Trump tweeted out a congratulatory message to Jones, which IS one tweet we can actually believe his lawyer wrote. There was punctuation. But, Trump is going to blame someone else. He blamed others when the GOP lost in Virginia. There’s talk of Trump firing his political director, Bill Stepien, despite that guy advising Trump not to endorse the pedophile. One probably doesn’t need a degree in political science to dish out that sort of advice. Even Ivanka, who’s not an intellectual heavyweight, told Daddy to stay away from Moore.
Perhaps the best advice for Trump is to stop listening to Steve Bannon. Bannon, a guy who has worked in Hollywood and Goldman Sachs, went to Alabama and told them not to let people from outside the state tell them who to vote for. Apparently, they took his advice. In multiple appearances in Alabama, Bannon criticized Mitt Romney and his sons for not serving in the military (ignoring that none of the Trumps have served), said Joe Scarborough, who went to the University of Alabama, wasn’t smart enough to go to Harvard, and even insulted Ivanka Trump.
Ivanka said there was a special place in Hell for people who abuse children. Bannon said the same about Republicans who wouldn’t support Moore. In Bannon’s world, establishment Republicans are more evil than pedophiles. That’s the type of guy you don’t want political advice from. Though, I’m sure Democrats hope Bannon keeps running candidates in GOP primaries. It’s working out for the Democrats.
If Democrats can win in Alabama, even against a horrible candidate, they can win in 2018 in places like Arizona. The problem for the GOP is they’re still “saddled” with a guy nobody wants to be seen in public with.
Doug Jones may not last longer than 2020, but Alabama still moved forward. It’s good for Alabama, for the nation, and for the members of my family who live there.
Hopefully, in the future Roy Moore will stay away from elections, the United States Senate, malls, children, and stay off horses. From the looks of it, horses don’t like him either.
I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.
Many Republicans couldn’t stand to see President Barack Obama in the White House and fly in Air Force One. It insulted their senses. I can relate somewhat because I am disgusted by Donald Trump occupying the Oval Office and using the first plane. The difference between my repulsion and theirs is that mine isn’t based on race. I don’t care that Trump is orange. The other difference is that it’s not just about his occupation. It’s what he’s doing and what he is.
If Donald Trump was not the President of the United States of America, he’d just be your run-of-the-mill disgusting billionaire. But, since he is president we have this disgusting human being who can reverse positive changes set by his predecessors. He can pardon criminals because it makes his racist base feel good. He can appoint judges to life-long positions who have never tried a case. He can remove protections from national parks because some rich bastards seek to destroy the land for coal.
What’s really disgusting is that what’s reprehensible about Trump was overlooked, ignored, or celebrated by the people who voted for him. Hillary Clinton got in trouble for calling his supporters deplorable. But, make no mistake about it. They’re deplorable and I won’t apologize for saying it.
This president, who has deflected and defended Nazis, has now officially endorsed an accused pedophile. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that Mr. Pussy Grabber, who claims they let you do whatever you want when you’re famous, who has boasted about barging into dressing rooms of teenage beauty pageants, and has his own accusers in the double digits would endorse an accused pedophile. But, it’s alarming that the Republican establishment has sacrificed anything that used to resemble principles to follow Trump’s lead. The Republican majority leader, who threatened to expel Moore if he won, and the Republican National Committee are now supporting the guy. So much for the party of family values. As it turns out, they were just pretending to care about that values stuff, kinda like how they really feel about deficits and government spending.
Apparently, if you’re a vote to give billionaires tax breaks then you’re allowed to grope little girls.
According to Roy Moore, the Republican candidate in Alabama for the United States Senate who is accused of stalking, dating, and sexually assaulting teenage girls, Trump called him on Monday and said, “go get em, Roy.” That’s not something I’d say to an accused pedophile.
Like Trump, Roy Moore was unqualified for office before the sexual accusations came out. He’s an idiot who doesn’t understand the issues and a religious zealot who was kicked off the state Supreme Court…TWICE.
People say this is the new normal. Others say this isn’t really us. I’m not sure about that anymore. Mitch McConnell is willing to let it become him. Orrin Hatch gladly accepted Trump’s endorsement yesterday, hours after Trump endorsed the pedophile. The ball is in Alabama’s court. Is this Alabama?
To Democrats, Independents, and anyone left in that state with a conscience, I’ll repeat Trump’s words. On election day, “go get ’em.”
I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.
The three largest newspapers in Alabama are pleading with the state’s voters not to send Roy Moore to the United States Senate. The Birmingham News, The Mobile Press-Register, and The Huntsville Times (all owned by Alabama Media Group) don’t want the voters to embarrass Alabama.
While we’re wondering how so many people can defend and choose a suspected pedophile over a man who has prosecuted members of the KKK for killing children, let me remind you that this is not new territory.
In 2016 our choices were the most qualified person to ever run for the office of President of the United States and a man who didn’t exhibit any qualifications, knowledge, or capability for the job, and only displayed childish, immature, stupid, racist, and narcissistic tendencies, while spreading conspiracy theories and lies. It not only amazed me that people could be undecided in the days leading up to the election, but on Election Day, many voters chose the stupid candidate and put him in the White House.
Voters polled before the election gave Trump higher marks in honesty than Clinton despite the fact checkers grading over 90 percent of Trump statements as lies. I underestimated the stupidity and pettiness of the American voter. I don’t think we should underestimate it in Alabama.
Roy Moore’s defenders believe there’s a conspiracy against him. They “know” The Washington Post paid women to accuse him of sexual transgressions, one committed against a 14-year-old. They think the Democrats and the Republican establishment are after him.
One defender compared his actions to Joseph being with Mary because Joseph is supposedly older according to their mythology. While arguing he never committed any of the acts he’s accused of, his supporters find ways to justify them. And, then there are those who believe the accusations and still support him.
For Alabama Republicans, being a Democrat and believing in the separation of church and state and the U.S. Constitution is a greater sin than pedophilia. The governor said she believes Moore’s accusers, but she plans to vote for him anyway.
Last week, White House goon Kellyanne Conway said, “there is no Senate seat worth more than a child.” Now, it seems she’s had a change of heart and there is one Senate seat worth more than a child.
The White House and Trump have been very cowardly regarding Moore. Trump was wrong once in his endorsement for Alabama’s Senate seat and he doesn’t want to be wrong again. He’s afraid of upsetting his base, and in Alabama, his polls are extremely high. His supporters might be stupid, but he doesn’t want to lose them.
The White House has been trotting out the argument that Alabama voters need to select their next Senator. They don’t want to explicitly endorse a pedophile, but they also don’t want to discourage people from sending him to Washington.
Yesterday, Conway made comments on Fox & Friends that left even those nitwits confused. They weren’t sure if they should jump on the Moore bandwagon or what. Their directives from the White House are normally much clearer, and they’re not good with subtle hints.
Conway was arguing against Doug Jones, the Democrat facing Moore for the Senate seat. Conway said, “and Doug Jones in Alabama? Folks, don’t be fooled. He’ll be a vote against tax cuts. He’s weak on crime, weak on borders. He’s strong on raising your taxes. He’s terrible for property owners. And Doug Jones is a doctrinaire liberal, which is why he’s not saying anything and why the media are trying to boost him.”
Co-host Brian Kilmeade asked, “so, vote Roy Moore?”
Conway initially seemed confused in how to reply before she responded, “I’m telling you that we want the votes in the Senate to get this tax bill through,” and then she remembered the art of deflection and turned it around on Al Franken with, “and if the media were really concerned about all these allegations and that’s what this was truly about … Al Franken would be on the ash heap of bygone, half-funny comedians. He wouldn’t be here on Capitol Hill.”
This is tribalism. They would rather get the worst of the worst and sacrifice their principles to pass their agenda. But, I could be wrong.
Maybe they’ve never had principles.
I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.
When Roy Moore, Alabama’s Republican nominee for the U.S. Senate, had a woman accuse him of trying to have sex with her when she was 14, she wasn’t alone. Three other accusers joined her. More accusers came out the next day, and the next, and the next. We’ve hit double digits. You can make a pun out of “Moore” accusers.
After Minnesota Senate Democrat Al Franken’s accuser came out, she was alone and nobody has joined her since. The comparison between Moore and Franken isn’t fair. One was trying to get his rocks off with teenage girls while the other was staging comedy bits. One set a pattern while the other did not. But, politics is not fair.
Donald Trump tweets out an attack on Al Franken while remaining silent on Roy Moore and being tone-deaf regarding over 20 of his own accusers. Trump has boasted, very proudly, about groping women and barging in on teenage girls while they’re naked in a dressing room. Sarah Huckabee Sanders said it’s different because Franken admitted wrongdoing while Trump has denied his ever happened, even though he’s on tape admitting it.
For Republicans, lying, deflecting, and calling your accusers liars is more honorable than being honest, apologizing, and calling for an ethics investigation on your own past behavior.
People talk a good game about bridging the partisan divide, but they crap all over themselves when the perfect opportunity confronts them. Alabama’s governor has stated she believes Roy’s accusers but, she’s gonna vote for him anyway. She would rather have a pedophile in the Senate than someone she disagrees with. How is that being a good Christian?
The accusations against Franken won’t be the last to hit Washington. Watch how Republicans respond. The same people critical of Franken and have yelled for him to resign will be silent when Republicans are hit. The hypocrisy won’t matter. It’ll be like it just doesn’t exist to them.
Republicans will take a cue from Trump and Roy Moore. They’ll lie, deflect, and attack the accusers. Being honest is for Democrats.
Creative notes: I completed this cartoon early last night but I held it for today. I sent it to my clients and one of them has already scooped me and published it on their site.
I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.
When you’re on the right side of an issue, you don’t have to make shit up. That totally explains why Roy Moore, his wife, their racist lawyers, Breitbart, Alabama Republicans, and all the hideous goons on social media are making shit up.
I’m glad I’m not a conservative cartoonist, but if I was then I like to think I wouldn’t act like a hideous ogre and follow talking points designed to defend a pedophile. Today, I’ve already seen four political cartoons using the sexcapades of Bill Clinton as a deflection for Roy Moore’s pedophilia. In addition to those four cartoons, there was a propaganda piece masquerading as a political cartoon by that Branco guy (look him up) following the same talking point. I can’t wait to see what Ben Garrison does on it (whatever it is, it’ll include about 38 labels). But then again, these are the same people who defended Nazis recently.
Just when I thought to deflect for a pedophile was rotten enough, news came out yesterday that some right-wing troglodytes are robocalling voters in Alabama to increase support for Moore. Every campaign conducts robocalls for their candidate, but in this case, the calls are pretending to be something they’re not.
The person on this call is posing as a Washington Post reporter offering money to anyone who claims they were sexually assaulted by Roy Moore.
The caller, going by the name the very Jewish-sounding name “Bernie Bernstein,” says, “I’m a reporter for The Washington Post calling to find out if anyone at this address is a female between the ages of 54 to 57 years old, willing to make damaging remarks about candidate Roy Moore for a reward of between $5,000 and $7,000.” The caller also states they will not be “fully investigating” the claims and could be contacted at albernstein@washingtonpost.com. The email is phony and will bounce back if you use it. They don’t really want a reply. They’re just trying to piss people off.
The first clue it’s a fake call is that the name doesn’t match the email address. The second clue is that the email doesn’t work. Another big one is the fact The Washington Post does NOT pay for stories or to sources. They’re not the National Enquirer.
Moore’s supporters have already spread stories that were quickly debunked, that the Post paid the women accusing Roy Moore of sexual misconduct. If you’re wrong, you make shit up. You make a divisive situation more divisive. You also hire a racist lawyer to defend your lying candidate.
If you think my cartoon is stereotyping, wait until you hear about this.
Yesterday, an attorney for Moore went on MSNBCand told host Ali Velshi that his “background” would help him understand Moore’s “process.”
Co-host Stephanie Ruhle asked the attorney, Trenton Garmon, why Moore “would need permission from any of these girls’ mothers if they weren’t underage.” Garmon replied, “Culturally speaking, obviously there’s differences, (I) looked up Ali’s background there, and wow, that’s awesome that you have got such a diverse background, it’s really cool to read through that. But point is this, each culture has…” Then Ruhle interrupted him and asked, “What does Ali’s background have to do with dating a 14-year-old?”
Garmon said, “Sure — in other countries, there is arrangement through parents for what we would refer to as consensual marriage… “ Ruhle interrupted to inform the racist attorney that Velshi is from Canada. The attorney continued to drown from there…which is what everyone is doing who are defending Roy Moore.
As for me, I know how to swim. I suggest conservatives who are defending Moore take a few lessons.
Creative notes: So yesterday, my research entailed asking a friend, who is Jewish, if the term is “Jewy” or “Jewwy?” I’m fortunate she’s a really cool person and knows what I’m up to when I ask what seems like an absurd, and anti-Semitic question. I didn’t ask her because she’s Jewish. I worked with her at my last newspaper job, and I still ask her to proof text and the phrases for a lot of my cartoons. So, she gets a lot of crazy questions from me. I usually don’t tell her what I’m working on just so it’ll get her curiosity up.
Also, yeah I stereotyped the South with this cartoon…but I can do that. I’m from the South. But, in all honesty, the people in this cartoon are everywhere. Alabama just has a lot more of them. The people I have worked with in the South are some of the most creative people I’ve ever worked with, and they educated me on this business. And like Jews tell the best Jewish jokes, nobody laughs harder at Southerners than Southerners.
I have covered local issues before on people keeping chickens inside their homes, but most of that was when I was working in Honolulu. In fact, that city had to pass a law limiting how many chickens people can keep in their apartments. Seriously.
I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.
I’m old enough to remember when Republicans wrote bathroom laws to protect our children from sexual predators.
Now, the same people who go into full-blown snowflake meltdown when there’s not a Christmas design on their Starbucks coffee cup are perfectly fine with sticking a pedophile in the Senate. It’s OK because he’s accepted Jesus. There is still some coffee outrage over this Roy Moore scandal. Keurig stopped advertising on Sean Hannity’s fake news show because he kinda endorsed Republican pedophilia. Republicans have responded by destroying their Keurig coffee machine.
People are destroying coffee machines that cost anywhere from $100 to $300. Why don’t you just protest by mailing an envelope full of cash to Keurig? That makes about as much sense. By the way, did you know the coffee pods those machines use are not biodegradable and environmentalists hate them? Yeah, you conservatives can’t win for nothing. Being stupid hurts.
A fifth woman revealed yesterday that Alabama Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore sexually assaulted her. The mainstream Republican Party and even Ted Cruz are now all calling for Moore to drop out of the race. Alabama Republicans, on the other hand, are standing by their man.
Republican logic has been all over the place with this issue.
Evangelicals have spent the past four decades calling themselves the “moral majority,” yet, over 80% of them voted for the orange pussy grabber for president. Republicans impeached Bill Clinton over consensual sex and had to go through three Speakers of the House to do it, as the first two of those turds had sex scandals. And, we found out years later the third one was a pedophile.
Part of the GOP defense of Moore is to talk about other sex scandals, from Clinton to Harvey Weinstein, to Louis C.K. Hell, some are even griping about Joe Biden’s shoulder massages.
Five women have accused Moore of dating teenage girls and of sexual assault. The accusers are backed up by over 30 sources. Others have come out to say it was well-known at the time that Mr. Moore dated teenage girls while he was in his early thirties. The guy would hang out at the mall and high school football games. Eventually, he got banned from the mall for being a Creepy McCreeperson and a stranger danger. Moore has defended himself with the lame excuses that he didn’t “generally” date teenage girls, and that he never dated one without their mother’s permission. He says he doesn’t remember the new accuser or the restaurant where he attacked her, yet she provided her high school yearbook he signed where he also included the name of the restaurant. But, Moore’s supporters don’t believe any of that.
What they do believe, without any evidence, is that The Washington Post paid these women to come forward and it’s all financed by Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. They wonder why these women, who are being publicly shamed by Breitbart and in their communities, being chased into hiding, and who Moore is threatening to sue, didn’t make their revelations sooner.
For what it’s worth, adults don’t sign high school yearbooks unless they’re teachers. I know I haven’t signed one since I left high school. Hell, I didn’t sign that many when I was in school. I wasn’t really popular.
During the recent campaign for Virginia’s governor, the Republican candidate Ed Gillespie ran a lot of race-baiting commercials. Along with those, he ran one accusing Democrat Ralph Northam of being in favor of restoring rights to pedophiles. One person was busted for child pornography right after his rights were restored, and Gillespie’s campaign used that to paint Northam, a pediatrician, as a friend to pedophiles as if he was driving the van with free candy. Voters saw through the lie and made Northam our next governor.
Meanwhile, in Alabama, Republicans are telling people to vote for the pedophile. And, there’s a chance the pedophile might win.
I’m really glad I live in Virginia and not Alabama.
Creative Notes: I took longer than I wanted to with this cartoon. I started around 3:00 AM. I didn’t like the lettering so I redid it. Then I didn’t like the elephants, so I drew them over. Then, I still didn’t like the lettering so I did that again. And then, I realized I still hated the elephants, so I drew them again. And then, I hated some of the colors, so I redid that…and then, the sun came out and eventually 10:00 AM rolled around.
I make it sound like I have high standards but it’s probably more like an obsessive-compulsive disorder…and a lot of coffee.
Speaking of coffee, there’s a Keurig in my house and I had never tried it. All the talk yesterday got my curiosity up, so housemate’s girlfriend showed me how to use it. It was delicious. I didn’t try one as a lame way of sticking it to conservatives. I really wanted to try one. By the way, did you know that Keurig is the most hated thing in Washington state? I think it has to do with being environmental and snooty about their coffee, and not because the people of Washington love pedophiles.
A note about signed prints: I’m going to run this note for a week or so. Several people have sent me $40 over the past few months without requesting a print. Please, when you make a payment/contribution, tell me which print you want. I’ve written each of those people but some haven’t replied. If I owe you a print then please tell me so. I’m not trying to stiff you people. Thanks!
I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.
claytoonz 