Alabama

Another Cruz Conquest


cjones04032016

Ever since the National Enquirer reported that Ted Cruz is a Senatorial stud muffin and has had five affairs, the presidential candidate has not denied ever having an affair.

Oh sure, he’s had righteous indignation which he delivers with a plagiarized script, but no denial. So I was thinking someone should ask him if he’s ever boinked the governor of Alabama. Sorry for putting that terrible image in your head.

Ted Cruz is not someone anybody wants to picture getting busy in the bedroom. Neither is Republican Alabama governor Robert Bentley. To make matters even worse, recordings of Bentley have been released of him talking dirty. Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

Bentley is a governor with a deacon persona. Recently his wife filed for divorce and then the recordings between him and his political adviser, Rebekah Mason (who had also served as his campaign manager), were leaked.

Now there’s all sorts of illicit details concerning the governor. Stuff like the governor hiring private jets to avoid a passenger manifest, purchasing “burner” phones, sharing a safety deposit box with Mason, and paying her through a 501 (c)(4) organization instead of having her on the state payroll.

So maybe a reporter can ask Senator Cruz if he’s ever “winked, winked, nudge nudge” with the Alabama governor. If for no reason other than sheer amusement. That can keep us entertained until the D.C. madam’s lawyer releases a huge lists of her clients next week which supposedly will have consequences on the presidential election. Oh you didn’t know about that? Yeah, that’s about to happen.

All I can say to that is “woo hoo!”

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Occupying Alabama


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Gay marriage is legal through all of the United States of America. The U.S. Supreme Court, one out of three branches of government, says so. The reason I’m stating is this because apparently not everyone has received the information.

Take the chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court. This Bama bunghole directed all local judges in his state to stop issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

Roy Moore is a religious wack job and has used his position on the bench to heap his religious views upon the citizens of Alabama. Last February he expressed concern about federal courts stepping on Alabama and wrote “have always recognized the biblical admonition stated by our Lord.” He’s also argued the state should keep children away from gay parents. He supports public prayer but only if it’s Christian.

As chief justice he installed a Ten Commandments monument at the court house and was then thrown off the court for refusing to remove it. He was later elected back to the bench.

We can expect Moore to be found in contempt and maybe even removed once again. That should be fun.

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Alabama Martian


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If you are an African American and you do not live in Alabama, Congratulations.

Alabama, like other Southern red states, has strict ID Voter Laws. On the record, these laws are designed to prevent voter fraud. Since voter fraud doesn’t really exist, then off the record they’re designed to prevent minority voting. That isn’t voter fraud but a Republican chicanery that goes along with their efforts to prevent minority voting through redistricting.

In Alabama the Republican state legislature has cut spending which will greatly reduce the number of offices where one can acquire an identification. Most of the offices closing are in the most isolated areas. That is, every county where black voters comprise 75% of voters and the communities that overwhelmingly voted for Obama in  2012 will see those offices closed. That is 28 out of 67 counties. Eight of the 10 counties with the largest non-white populations will be without a place to get an ID.

So if you’re in Alabama and you don’t have an ID and you want to vote and you don’t have transportation then like Forrest you’re gonna have ruuuuuuuun.

Republicans always win Alabama and they’re still cheating. Isn’t it nice that when Republicans do govern, they legislate ways to increase their political advantage?

African Americans comprise 26% of the state’s population. Out of seven congressional seats only one is represented by an African-American who is also a Democrat. The GOP holds the other six.

Just like Matt Damon in the film The Martian, African Americans are being left behind in Alabama. The difference is this is intentional.

Changing gears now: I saw a funny tweet the other day I wish I had created. It said something like “between The Martian, Interstellar, and Saving Private Ryan, our government has spent a ridiculous amount of money retrieving Matt Damon.” I couldn’t have written it because I never saw Interstellar. I haven’t seen The Martian yet either.

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