Tuberville Time

And I said I was done drawing Taylor Swift cartoons.

Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville’s ten-month folly of blockading military promotions because of a reimbursement policy for travel expenses for members to obtain an abortion has failed. Tuberville says he will now only block the most senior generals, but over 440 promotions were passed in one fell swoop as soon as his blockade was lifted.

So what did Tuberville get in return for lifting his blockade? Did the Pentagon change it’s policy that offers time off and travel reimbursement to service members seeking abortions or fertility care. Nope. Tommy got nothing which means he spent the past ten months wasting everyone’s time and making this nation more vulnerable and less prepared for an attack by its enemies all because of his pro-forced birth zealotry. Ya know, when Tommy Dumberville was a football coach, he never let his players take time off for an abortion.

Tuberville represents Alabama, a red state that supposedly believes in patriotism and supports our military. But nobody ever accused Tuberville of being very smart. It wasn’t until he was elected to the Senate that he learned the three branches of government are NOT the House, Senate, and presidency. Now he thinks it’s the House, Senate, and Waffle House. Who told him how to block military promotions anyway? It’s not like he figured that shit out by himself. In case I forgot to mention that Tommy Tuberville is stupid…Tommy Tuberville is stupid. That beyotch is dumb.

Tommy Tuberville was less dangerous to this nation as a horrible football coach than he is now as a horrible United States Senator. I have friends and family in Alabama so I know with certainty that Tuberville is not that state’s best.

If Tuberville had his way, he probably would try to block Taylor Swift from being Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. After all, she is pro-choice and not pro-forced birth as Tuberville is. She’s also an excellent role model for girls. Tommy Tuberville is a role model for people who like to march with tiki torches while chanting “Jews will not replace us.”

I’ve seen a lot of people post that they don’t listen to Taylor Swift’s music but they respect her because they’ve heard what a good person she is. She donates significant chunks of her fortune to charity. She gave huge bonuses to the crew working on her current tour. Each truck driver got a check for $100,000, and they’re probably jamming to Jason Aldean while hauling her stage from city to city. Her tour is so huge that cities are begging to be a stop on it because it brings a giant influx to every community’s economy that it visits. She’s also the hardest working musician today, not hardest working woman…hardest working musician. Her current tour started last March and doesn’t end until a year from tomorrow, December 8, 2024. She does take time off during the tour before hitting the road again, but touring is hard. Performing three-hour shows four nights in a row is hard.

Several years ago when I was in a band, Corporate T-Shirt, we released an album (No Thanks to Hancock) and to celebrate it, we played two nights in a row. We played a festival and then had an album/CD release party the next night in a club. I was the lead singer and guitar player. I could barely talk for three days afterward. Now I’m not a vocalist like Taylor Swift and this was back in my smoking days and I had a lot of beer during those two days, but still. It’s hard. I don’t know how smoker Dave Grohl lives to scream every night. I would never recover after delivering a full-throatal assault of “Best of You.” Forget about it.

There a lots of jokes about older people not being aware of who Taylor Swift is, but I’m 57 and I have several of her songs on my playlist, including the entire Folklore album which is brilliant. It’s not an album designed for teenage girls though they love it too. If you love music, any kind of music, you need to listen to Folklore. If nothing else, just listen to the seventh track. Trust me.

I became aware of Taylor Swift about a decade or so ago when I had a part time job for a short while in a clothing store. There were lots of teenage girls there and lots of music that was new to me, including Taylor Swift. It’s also where I first heard of Justin Beiber. “Baby” is catchy and I do like it, but his music didn’t stick with me. Taylor’s did though. When I got past “You Belong To Me” and “Love Story,” I heard some more mature stuff and immediately knew I was listening to a game changer. This was a huge talent to pay attention to…and I did.

My only knock against Taylor Swift is that while she has worked hard, she’s never been hungry. My ex-wife is Tim McGraw’s first cousin and they were good friends. She visited him in Nashville before he made it and from the impression I got, he was living on Ramen and baloney before “Indian Outlaw” hit (which really surprised all of us because that’s just a horrible song). Taylor Swift never lived on Ramen and had support from a wealthy family. Good for her. By the way, Ramen can be delicous if you tinker with it. I add some Creole seasoning and mmm, mmm, mmm.

Now, if you’re one of those people who marks themselves “safe” from caring about Taylor Swift on social media, you failed. You’re that ex that calls to tell me she’s not going to call me anymore… and then calls me again to tell me she’s serious this time. Yes, I had one of those (if you’re her and you’re reading this now, am I talking about you or another girl who killed my rabbit?).

I don’t listen to Bad Bunny (speaking of rabbits). The first time I heard of Bad Bunny I thought, “Wasn’t that a character in one of those bad Matthew McConaughey/Kate Hudson rom-coms (I Just looked it up and that was Bigg Bunny played by Kevin Hart)?”. I don’t know one of his songs and wouldn’t be able to recognize one if I heard it. I don’t know his style or much of anything about him except he’s a rapper, Puerto Rican, and extremely popular, popular enough for me to be aware of him (I’m mostly aware of him because of a girl who LOVES him). But I don’t feel the need to post on social media that I’m ignorant about him and his music. Do you know why? Because I really don’t care. Maybe someday I will. Being ignorant about something is not an accomplishment no matter how much you believe it is.

So if you’re on social media posting that you don’t care about Taylor Swift, or anyone or anything else for that matter…guess what. You do care.

Since I’ve drawn at least four cartoons over the past year on Taylor Swift, one for CNN, then she’s probably a great choice for Time’s Person of the year.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

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