Eight Arms To Grope You

Two of Donald Trump’s co-defendants in the Fulton County case where he’s being prosecuted for trying to steal the 2020 election have flipped. Attorneys Sidney Powell and Kenneth Chesebro have decided their lives will be a lot easier and their futures much brighter if they plead guilty and cooperate with the prosecution.

It should have been easy for both individuals to flip since their arguments for aiding Trump to help steal the election were total and utter complete bullshit.

Powell was charged with six misdemeanors and will now pay a fine and serve probation. But she said a lot of crazy shit when she was helping Donald Trump try to steal the election.

Days before the 2020 election, Powell promoted the conspiracy theory that a government supercomputer would switch votes from Donald Trump to Joe Biden. Fox News host Maria Bartiromo told her she was doing “God’s work” pushing these theories. She made the same claims after Trump legitimately lost the election. She also accused Dominion Voting Systems of switching ballots from Trump to Biden.

She also made claims that there was ballot harvesting, dead voters, illegal voters, ballot dumps, vote dumps, and late-counted votes. Maybe it was inhaling all the fumes from the cheap hair dye and farts from doing a press conference with Rudy Giuliani (another co-defendant), or perhaps she’s just batshit crazy, but Powell claimed there was an international communist plot to steal the election from Donald Trump perpetrated by China, Venezuela, the deceased Hugo Chavez, George Soros, Hillary Clinton, The Wiggles, and Antifa. I made one of those up. Can you guess which one?

During an Oval Office meeting after the election, Michael Flynn, Vladimir Putin’s buddy who was Trump’s National Security Adviser for less than 30 days and also a client of Powell’s, suggested Trump enact martial law and seize voting machines. During this meeting, Donald Trump proposed appointing Sidney Powell as Special Counsel to investigate election fraud.

Now, Trump says Sidney Powell was never his lawyer. In a post on Truth (sic) Social, Trump stated, “Despite the Fake News reports to the contrary, and without even reaching out to ask the Trump Campaign, MS. POWELL WAS NOT MY ATTORNEY, AND NEVER WAS.”

Oh, really?

On November 14, 2020, Trump tweeted, “I look forward to Mayor Giuliani spearheading the legal effort to defend OUR RIGHT to FREE and FAIR ELECTIONS! Rudy Giuliani, Joseph diGenova, Victoria Toensing, Sidney Powell, and Jenna Ellis, a truly great team, added to our other wonderful lawyers and representatives!”

Five days later at a press conference at RNC headquarters in Washington with Sidney by his side, Rudy said, “We’re representing President Trump and the Trump campaign.”

Eventually, after Powell accused Republicans in Georgia of taking bribes to swing the election to Biden, the Trump team did cut ties with her. Rudy and Jenna Ellis, another Trump lawyer and co-defendant who now says Trump is a “malignant narcissist,” said, “Sidney Powell is practicing law on her own. She is not a member of the Trump Legal Team. She is also not a lawyer for the President in his personal capacity.” You know you’re crazy when you out-crazy Rudy Giuliani.

I’m looking forward to when Trump claims Rudy was never his lawyer. Does it count if you never pay them?

Trump believes it’s a smart defensive move to say Sidney Powell was not his lawyer after stating she was his lawyer, but it’s actually a stupid move. Since Sidney Powell was never his lawyer, as he claims, he can’t claim attorney-client privilege.

During an interview with Fox Business Network’s Lou Dobbs in 2020 after the election, Sidney Powell promised to produce evidence of massive voter fraud to prove Donald Trump won the election in a “massive landslide.” She said the voter fraud was organized and conducted with the help of Silicon Valley people, the big tech companies, Teletubbies, the social media companies, and even the media companies” and she was going to produce the evidence (I made one of those up again). She said, “I’m going to release the Kraken!” A video of this on YouTube was watched over 1.3 million times in four days. It was just too good.

Now, the Kraken is finally coming from Sidney Powell, with the help of prosecutor Fani Willis, but it’s coming for Trump in a very Captain Jack Sparrow type of way which if you’ve seen those movies, you know it’s not good. This could be some Karma Kraken which would be putting giant tentacles on Trump after he’s put his unwanted tiny testicles on so many women.

I hope that Kraken gets to cracking.

Note: The title of this blog (and on the sippy cup) is a Beatles reference. Eight Arms to Hold You was the working title for the film and album Help. In 1998, Veruca Salt, a rock band, not the spoiled brat and bad nut/egg in Willy Wonka, released an album with that same title as a tribute to the Fab Four.

Creative advice: When googling images to draw tentacles make sure the predictive text doesn’t give you results you really don’t want to see first thing in the morning. Bleah.

Music note: I listened to Better Than Ezra while coloring. They’re one of those 90s bands where you love every song you hear from them on the radio but never purchased any of their albums.

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There is one copy of my book in stock, which goes for $45.00, signed. Also, I have a few copies of my first book from 1997 (these are the last there will ever be), Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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