Sidney Powell

Reinstatement Buddies


Cjones06202021

Is Benjamin Netanyahu smarter than Donald Trump? While he likes to dish out the occasional conspiracy theory, I seriously doubt he’s dumb enough to use Trump’s lawyers and advisers.

Bibi and Trump are reinstatement buddies with both promising to return. A return to office is possible with both, though Trump will NOT be “reinstated,” and both have to get through a lot of legal troubles before they can mount any serious comebacks. For Trump, he can’t be taken seriously.

You can’t be taken seriously when your advisers, morons like Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and the MyPillow goon are spreading lies about Hugo Chavez meddling in the election, voting machines and Italian satellites changing votes, bamboo in ballots shipped from China, and the lies Trump won and can be reinstated.

Mike Lindell, the MyPillow idiot and former crackhead, swears Donald Trump is going to be reinstated. The only problem with that is, that’s not how our government operates. Do you know why none of the people who claim Trump will be reinstated, including Donald Trump, have explained how? Because there is no way a former president can be reinstated. A basic civics will teach you this. Nevertheless, nearly 30 percent of Republicans believe Trump will be reinstated.

It will also be hard to regain control of your nation’s highest office from prison. Here’s a fun fact: If Donald Trump goes to prison, he can still run for president from prison. It’s actually been done before. Can Bibi? I don’t know and unlike the Qnuts, I don’t just make shit up. I haven’t taken a course on Israeli civics.

What I do know is that both men, Trump and Netanyahu, are lying sacks of crap who are both corrupt. Now, neither of them can seek asylum in the other’s nation to avoid prosecution. For both men, there’s always Russia, if Putin will have them. They would both have to bring a lot of cash.

Bibi’s trial starts in July. While Trump expects to be reinstated in August, I’m hoping to see criminal charges brought against him in that month.

Israel is moving forward without Bibi, who has served as prime minister for a total of 15 years (two terms). The United States is moving forward without Trump….well, most of us. Both men have been obstructions for peace. Now, maybe these two hateful zealots can spend more time together, perhaps playing golf at Mar-a-Lago with lots of alligator hazards.

Watch out, Bibi…Trump will steal your balls.

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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General Coup-Coup


Cjones06052021

There are news reports that disgraced general and convicted douche canoe and traitor, Michael Flynn, suggested there should be a coup to restore Donald Trump to power. He did not “suggest” there should be a coup in the United States. He endorsed it and said, “It should happen here.”

Flynn was national security adviser for 22 days. President Obama told Donald Trump not to hire Flynn, so Donald Trump hired Flynn…who had lobbied for foreign nations and been paid by Vladimir Putin for appearances in Russia. Flynn was fired for lying to Mike Pence and later pled guilty to two counts of making false statements and agreed to cooperate…then flipped on his flip and cried to have his guilty plea reversed. Trump’s attorney general, William Barr, tried to get courts to drop what his department pushed for and ultimately, Donald Trump pardoned Flynn.

After the election, Flynn endorsed martial law, suspending the Constitution, and silencing the media to overturn the election. He also pledged an oath to Qanon. Now, he’s on the Russian app Telegram crying that he was misquoted about endorsing a coup. Why is he denying this stuff on Telegram? Because Twitter kicked him off their platform for shit like endorsing coups.

This is NOT the first time Flynn has suggested a coup. When he wanted Trump to overturn the election, that would have been a coup. This time, he was at a Qanon fucknut convention, when an audience member asked him, “I want to know why what happened in Myanmar can’t happen here.” There was a coup in Myanmar.

Flynn replied, “No reason. I mean, it should happen here. No reason.”

Now he’s saying that he said, “No reason it should happen here.” No, fucker. You said. “No reason.” Period. “It should happen here.” That’s like saying “don’t stop” while someone’s touching you in your special place, and later you claim you didn’t like it by saying, “I said, ‘don’t…stop.'”

Congressman and fully-committed Fruit Loop, Screwy Louie Gohmert, was also at the lunatic event and tried to downplay the January 6 insurrection. He defended it by saying the attack on Pearl Harbor and 9/11 were bigger attacks on our democracy. Even if he was correct, that’s not good company. But, those attacks weren’t trying to overturn our government. Take a history lesson, Louie.

One in four Republicans believe in the Qanon theory that Satanic-worshipping lovers of baby back ribs made with real babies are controlling the government and it’s going to take violence to restore the “rightful” leaders of our nation. An opinion poll taken in May says 53% (if in case you’re a Republican, that’s more than half) believe Donald Trump won the election.

Sidney Powell, whose lawyers are using the argument in court that nobody should take her seriously, says there will be a new inauguration, Biden will move out of the White House, and Donald Trump will move back in. Just be glad both men won’t be living in the White House together, which sounds like the premise for a really bad sitcom.

Finally, Donald Trump expects to be reinstated by August. That’s what he’s been telling friends, family, and any squirrels on his golf course who will listen, according to New York Times Washington correspondent, Maggie Haberman.

Donald Trump ordered an attack on our government to overturn the election to reinstall himself to power. Donald Trump weaponized the presidency against his own nation. Instead of apologizing, expressing regret, or even playing dumb, he’s telling friends he’s going to do it again.

While it’s fun to laugh at these goons, we should also be concerned.

Like it or not, Donald Trump is a former president (sic). He has created a cult and his followers obey him and believe anything he says. Proof of this is last January 6. And, the Republican Party is doing everything it can to embrace him. A majority of Republicans, not just racist Qanon maniacs, are willing to destroy democracy for their cult leader.

Republicans don’t love America anymore. It’s all about the cult.

General Flynn should be in prison. Right now, he may be committing new crimes that his previous pardon doesn’t cover. He swore an oath to defend this nation, not attack it with a coup. Donald Trump should be in a prison cell right beside him. It will be safer for this nation to have those two men locked away. They are national security risks.

Republicans would be better off listening to the Cocoa Puffs bird than listening to Trump and his assorted goons. They’re all cuckoo for treason.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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No Reasonable Voting Laws


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Racism is never reasonable.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Unreasonable, Deranged Lunatic


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Quickly after the election, which Donald Trump LOST, attorney Sidney Powell joined Donald Trump’s legal team that was trying to steal the election away from Joe Biden. Sidney came with the impeccable credentials of being Michael Flynn’s lawyer where part of her legal defense was that he was framed by a “deep state plot.” She sent a letter to then-Attorney General William Barr asking him to investigate the investigation, and he did. Then the Justice Department attempted to drop the prosecution. Eventually, Trump pardoned Flynn…before he LOST the election to President Joe Biden.

This brilliant legal strategy of Qanon conspiracy theories landed her a position on Trump’s legal team where she argued Trump actually won the election he LOST and it was stolen in a plot conducted by communists, globalists, George Soros, The Clintons, the deceased Hugo Chavez, the CIA, hundreds of Democrats and even Republicans like Georgia governor Brian Kemp. Somehow, the Mickey Mouse Club escaped an accusation.

Sidney Powell conducted press conference after press conference, including the infamous one next to a porn shop with Rudy Giuliani when his head started dripping axle grease or some shit. Sidney also lost lawsuits in multiple states. Her conspiracy theories got so crazy, the Trump legal team officially dropped her and said she was acting “independently,” yet she continued to file lawsuits. While she wasn’t officially on the legal team anymore, she was still meeting with Donald Trump in the Oval Office where she suggested such brilliant tactics as declaring martial law to overturn the election he LOST .

Sidney promised she would reveal a “Kraken” of a plot to steal the election from Donald Trump which she called, “The greatest crime of the century if not the life of the world.” According to Sidney Powell, stealing the election from Donald Trump was worst than the Holocaust, the Black Plaque, the Inquisition, the coronavirus pandemic, Japanese internment, 9/11, New Coke, the Guns and Roses album “Chinese Democracy,” the CATS! movie, the Crocs fad, the KFC Double-Down chicken sandwich, and Ted Cruz’s face.

Twitter banned Powell for pushing Qanon conspiracy theories. Michigan and the city of Detroit (in case you’re a Republican, is a city in Michigan) filed separate motions in federal court to sanction Powell for attempting to overturn the election Donald Trump LOST .

During Sidney’s charade of a stolen election that Donald Trump actually LOST, she slandered Dominion Voting Systems and Smartmatic. Both companies demanded she retract her statements. Fox News and Newsmax, two networks that had promoted the bullshit campaign, started walking back the conspiracy theories.

Dominion and Smartmatic are now both suing Sidney Powell for defamation. Dominion is seeking $1.3 billion. Smartmatic is suing Powell, Rudy Giuliani, Fox News, Newsmax, and several idiot hosts from Fox for $2.7 billion. The companies may not get as much as they’re seeking, but they’ll probably win their lawsuits and in the process, Sidney Powell is likely to lose her license to practice law. I think she found her Kraken.

Think of it. If she’s too deranged to be on Twitter, then what the hell is she doing practicing law?

Now, Sidney’s lawyers, who I hope are better than she is, are arguing in court that no “reasonable” person could believe Sidney’s bullshit.

They filed a motion arguing, “No reasonable person would conclude that the statements by Powell about the 2020 election were truly statements of fact.” They continued this ridiculous argument with, “It was clear to reasonable persons that Powell’s claims were her opinions and legal theories.”

They’re arguing she should not be responsible for the shit that comes out of her mouth. You’re representing a lawyer, not a three-year-old or a drunk at closing time. Wait. Was she drunk?

Sidney’s lawyers argued Dominion could not prove Powell took action with “actual malice”, because “she believed the allegations then and she believes them now.”

So, no “reasonable” person could believe Sidney’s claims about the election being stolen by Jews, commies, Clintons, and Chavez were facts, but they were her legal opinions and she truly believed in them. I think her lawyers argued she’s not a reasonable person.

They’re also arguing she based her “legal opinions” on bullshit that no reasonable person could believe. Doesn’t that mean she should not be practicing law? Shouldn’t your legal opinion be something that reasonable people could believe? You didn’t see OJ’s lawyers argue Nicole was murdered by Hugo Chavez.

I agree with her lawyers. No reasonable person could believe anything Powell said about the election being stolen. Only fucking deranged lunatics would ever believe any of the debunked bullshit Sidney said. But, some lunatics did believe her bullshit. In fact, a lot of lunatics bought into her scam.

One of those lunatics was the president (sic) of the United States of America who then directed thousands of other lunatics to storm the Capitol and attempt a bloody coup to overturn an election he LOST. People died because of this lie.

Today, Donald Trump is still pushing this lie Sidney helped spread. More than half of all Republicans still believe this lie. According to Sidney Powell’s legal team, the Republican Party consists of “unreasonable” people. Shit, we already knew that. I don’t think reasonable people could vote for Donald Trump. Fortunately for us, reasonable people outnumbered Republicans because Donald Trump LOST the election.

Donald Trump used Sidney’s lies to destroy our democracy and Constitution. I think Dominion and Smartmatic might have a case. It’s not their fault Donald Trump LOST the election.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Moo Libel


cjones12272020

You would think any half-ass lawyer would know they can’t run around saying lies and unprovable things about people and corporations. That’s libelous. You can get sued for that. When it comes to Trump lawyers Sidney Powell and Rudy Giuliani, I’d rather have the cow lawyer. Plus, the cow farts probably aren’t as bad as Rudy’s.

As part of the Trump team’s conspiracy theory in their effort to stage a coup, Sidney Powell has charged that Dominion Voting System’s machines were created by the deceased Hugo Chavez, were sent here by communists in Venezuela to overturn the election, and have links to the Clinton Foundation and George Soros. The team has spread lies that the machines changed votes from Trump to Biden and in some cases, dumped votes for Trump, while somehow leaving the other Republicans on the same ballots untouched. Anybody believing this shit is a little touched.

The Trump campaign has made these claims, often supported by the president (sic) of the United States of America. Do you know what happens when Donald Trump spreads bullshit? His people believe it. There doesn’t have to be any proof or evidence.

Now, lawyers who specialize in defamation cases have sent letters to Trump’s attorneys Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, Jenna Ellis, Lin Wood and White House counsel Pat Cipollone warning them of “imminent” legal action on behalf of Dominion Voting Systems. They’re demanding the campaign to retain all records of communications between Trump and any White House employee with Rudy Giuliani, Powell, Ellis, and Wood.

This is where it gets good. Others receiving warning letters include Sean Hannity, Lou Dobbs, Maria Bartiromo, Rush Limbaugh, Greg Kelly (a Newsmax anchor), Fox News, Newsmax, One America News Network (OANN) and Epoch Times.

Two ironic things about Epoch Times: It’s Chinese and the MAGAt belief system is currently trying to tie Joe Biden with China, and…it’s a newspaper. MAGAts don’t read newspapers.

The lawyers demanded they “cease and desist making defamatory claims against Dominion,” saying they had “featured and continue to feature the proponents of this misinformation campaign against” the company.

Another voting machine company, Smartmatic, has sent letters to Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax demanding they stop “publishing false and defamatory statements.”

Dominion CEO John Poulos said the company would be taking legal action against several people “promoting lies and amplifying those lies” on various media platforms since Election Day. When asked if the lawsuits will include Donald Trump, he said, “We will not be overlooking anybody.”

Nine nine days after Election Day, Trump tweeted a claim that “DOMINION DELETED 2.7 MILLION TRUMP VOTES NATIONWIDE.”

On Dominion’s website, they state, “Malicious and misleading false claims about Dominion have resulted in dangerous levels of threats and harassment against the company and its employees, as well as election officials.”

Last Tuesday in Denver, Dominion’s security director, Eric Coomer, filed a defamation lawsuit against the Trump campaign, Giuliani, Powell, Newsmax, OANN, OANN reporter Chanel Rion, blogger Michelle Malkin and others. Coomer’s suit says he has become the target of death threats because of the defendants’ false claims made about Dominion’s machines. Currently, Coomer is in hiding.

Remember how Republicans and MAGAts all chortled about the Kentucky kid suing media outlets after his fray with the tom-tom beating Native American in Washington? They championed that little MAGAt’s lawsuit. He even got a speaking slot at the Republican National Convention. They were all supportive of his lawsuits. How dare the media smear him with their reporting. Now, it’s coming back on them in a much bigger way.

Donald Trump has called for the laws allowing a free press to write “anything they want” to be eliminated so he and others can sue news outlets for reporting facts they don’t like. So isn’t it ironic that as soon as he leaves office, one of the multiple lawsuits he faces is for defamation? I love it.

I hope Dominion lawyers sue each and every person they sent letters to. I hope Coomer wins each of his lawsuits. These liars, destroying reputations, our nation, and championing a coup attempt, need to be taken downtown in legal terms. They need to pay for their bullshit. I predict a lot of settlements. I predict Donald Trump, who claims he never settles but always settles, settles.

I also wish that lawsuits and charges will be filed against Donald Trump, federally and on the state level, within five minutes of Joe Biden taking his oath of office at noon on January 20, 2021. Would that just be the best kick in the nuts ever?

That’s all I want for Christmas…that and Chinese food.

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Trump’s Legal Brains


cjones11242020

If you want an idea of how nutzoid Trump election-stealing lawyer Sidney Powell is, take this in: Tucker Carlson can’t support her arguments…and Tucker has had shows about UFOs.

Tucker Carlson wants to believe in Sidney Powell. He said that he’s “always respected her work” and he’s holding out hope that she’ll provide evidence that thousands of votes were moved from Trump to Biden, which didn’t happen. Tucker is still stupid enough to hold out hope that election fraud occurred.

Do you understand that? Trump supporters are HOPING that our election was rigged and democracy failed. Do you know why? Because it’ll justify their stealing of an election. But right now, they don’t have any evidence or anything that supports their argument that Donald Trump won the election. Do you know why? Because Donald Trump did NOT win the election. Donald Trump lost and Joe Biden will be sworn in as president on January 20, 2021.

Sidney Powell is a Qanon-supporting nut. She has retweeted their theories on multiple occasions. She’s been a guest on Qanon’s YouTube show. Yes, they have a YouTube show. She’s Michael Flynn’s lawyer and now she’s arguing Donald Trump’s case that he won the election despite the fact he didn’t.

Sidney, along with Rudy Giuliani, suck. If they’re your legal team, you’re in trouble. I mean, you might as well invite Republican state legislatures to the White House and beg them to defy their constituents, break the law, invalidate votes, and just give you their state’s electors. Actually, Donald Trump did that yesterday.

Meanwhile, Powell and Giuliani are running around saying the election was stolen, Trump “won in a landslide,” And that it was manipulated by George Soros, the Clinton Foundation, and the deceased Hugo Chavez. At least Sidney’s hair dye isn’t running down her face.

Sidney Powell says she didn’t provide evidence to Tucker because he was rude. How about to the rest of us, Sidney? Their defenders are saying Trump’s legal team is holding their evidence for court…but they’re not using it in court. In fact, they keep having their cases thrown out of courts.

And while Trump’s legal team is arguing at press conferences outside dildo stores that massive voter fraud stole the election, when they’re in court, they’re saying there wasn’t any voter fraud.

So, if you don’t believe me that there was not any massive voter fraud, then take it from Trump’s stupid legal team. They’re telling you one thing and they’re telling judges something else. The judges aren’t buying it, but if you’re a Trump supporter, it’s a good thing for Trump that you’re stupid enough to buy it.

Trump’s legal team’s argument is even losing Fox News, who desperately wants to believe them. I guess this means during the Joe Biden era, Sidney Powell won’t have her own show on Fox. There’s always that Qanon YouTube channel…or Trump TV.

It’s hard for Donald Trump to hire capable lawyers because good lawyers don’t want to argue conspiracy theories in court. Crazy lawyers will though. And Donald Trump has cornered the market on crazy and hiring lunatics…even if the lunatics at Fox are losing hope.

Wanna know what’s even crazier than Sidney Powell saying Trump won in a landslide and blaming Hugo Chavez? 70% of Republicans believe her.

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