Pineapple Express To Tokyo


I totally understand the decision not to allow Sha’Carri Richardson to compete in the Tokyo Olympics after she was suspended for violating Team U.S.A.’s drug policy.

Richardson was suspended for 30 days and her victory in the 100 meters at the trials was invalidated. However, her suspension ends before her Olympic event is scheduled and the team can pick at least two athletes for the relay regardless of their performance at the trials. U.S. officials could still put her on the team, but doing so would have removed someone else who had already been named for that slot. It would not have been fair to them, even though Richardson is possibly the fastest human being alive right now and the team has a better chance with her on it to collect gold.

What I don’t agree with is Sha’Carri Richardson being suspended in the first place. Her violation of the drug policy was for smoking marijuana, pot, weed, a little reefer, ganja, hash, bud, cannabis, chronic, herb, grass, yerba, Mary Jane, sticky icky, wacky tobacky, the Devil’s lettuce, a doobie, etc. And yes. Some of us still say, “doobie.” I’m bringing it back.

Marijuana is on a list of banned substances that includes performance-enhancing drugs that athletes take to make them stronger, or faster, or have more endurance. Marijuana does NOT make anyone stronger, faster, or have more endurance. You don’t see Seth Rogen, Willie Nelson, or Snoop Dog hauling ass like Usain Bolt.

The only way marijuana can benefit an athlete is to calm them down and decrease anxiety. If anything, you would think pot would be an inhibitor for an athlete more than something that helps him or her. Michael Phelps was punished for smoking weed which should have been an embarrassment to his entire sport…because even on weed, nobody could compete against him. Flipper hasn’t shown his face since.

Simone Biles, the GOAT (greatest of all time) in her sport has been discouraged from being better than her competition because she’s so good. If they really want to make it more competitive for her competition, maybe they should make Biles eat some pot brownies.

We need to get over our national hang-up about marijuana. Weed is legal in nearly 20 states, including Oregon where Richardson was competing when she “violated” the stupid drug policy. It’s even debated if marijuana is an actual drug.

This nation needs to decriminalize marijuana and release everyone who is currently incarcerated for violating anti-pot laws. Marijuana should be legalized, not just by states, but by the federal government. It’s no worse than alcohol. Alcohol has a better lobby than marijuana.

I’m a huge advocate for legalizing marijuana which might make you think I love the stuff. A lot of people who have met me would swear from my weirdness that I’m totally high. I had a reputation in high school for being a stoner, probably because I slept in a lot of classes. At my first newspaper job, some people thought I was stoner just from my cartoons. You’d have to be high to write this stuff, right? People still walk up to me asking if I’m selling. What do I look like? Sheesh! It probably doesn’t help that the older I get, the more I look like The Dude.

Truth is, I don’t like pot. Sure, I’ve tried it here and there over the years, but at an early age, I realized I was just playing to peer pressure and didn’t truly enjoy it, so I stopped. I did lose a few friends, but most people didn’t care. I never liked the way it made me feel (paranoid), and it usually tore up my throat. Any time I’ve ever gotten high, I’ve spent the entire high wanting to come down. When I did smoke pot, it was only when someone else introduced it into a situation. The only time I ever bought weed for myself was when I gave a person I didn’t know very well a ride home, who then lost a joint in my car. I bought the lost joint from him in order for him to leave ($2.00 in the 1980s)…and then tore the car upside down finding that joint because it was my mom’s car…and if she had found it, she would have screamed at me and then she would have smoked my joint.

About four years ago, a friend was passing through town from Oklahoma (a yee-haw state) and asked if I could get some marijuana for her to purchase. She told me it was for medicinal purposes, but since she’s a Trump supporter, I knew she was lying. I didn’t care. I didn’t have an ethical problem doing this favor and I didn’t have a physical problem finding someone I know who could sell me a bag of weed. I don’t do the stuff but I know where to get it.

But I’m glad I’ve smoked pot in the past because at least I know what it does and can compare it to stuff like beer. The thing about pot is, you can still walk a straight line when you’re high. Your attention span might suck…or it might increase…but you’re usually functional. I tell people all the time I have never done illegal drugs, which is true…but I have smoked pot.

My aversion to marijuana is only about me smoking marijuana. I don’t care if other people do it. I’ve been in rock bands and I would have had a very difficult time if I refused to be around it. If anything, I grew accustomed to the scent and started to like smelling it. For me, it wasn’t band practice without the scent of weed. My bandmates never pressured me and understood I didn’t care for it. Their attitude about me not smoking was the same as mine about them smoking. Who cares? My only requirement was that they could still play while stoned. Most musicians can. And like I said, it can level you out. Rarely does someone turn into a raging asshole because of weed.

I don’t blame the Track and Field bigwigs for not allowing Sha’Carri Richardson to take someone else’s spot…but I do blame them for punishing her in the first place and taking away her spot. So she smoked a little weed? So what? She didn’t help herself and she didn’t hurt anyone by smoking weed. If anything, the committee hurt our nation by decreasing our chance at a gold medal in her relay event. If we lose to Uzbekistan, it’s all on you, Olympic nannies.

Everyone who is against legalizing weed and for punishing people who use it, should be served some hash brownies. I bet that’d make them lighten the fuck up.

Sha’carri smoked a little weed (or maybe she ate it. It doesn’t matter). A lot of people you know smoke weed. Even Republicans smoke weed. So what? Our uptight country needs to get over it.

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  1. When I was 15 I came home to find my mother (48 years old) getting high with her boyfriend …& MY BOYFRIEND!! It was her first time trying pot. I had never tried it. In fact said boyfriend tried to keep me away from all that. The main reason I got drunk for the first time was because he told me I couldn’t drink. When he went to the restroom I chugged as much of the Jim Beam as I could. I got extremely drunk, but did not throw up. Fast forward 2 years & I tried pot. I didn’t even know how to inhale! They kept telling me it’s like smoking a cigarette. I was in & out of hospitals growing up because of my asthma. I had never smoked anything. Thought it was dumb to ruin my already problematic lungs. Anyway I did it 9 times over less than a year. The people I got high with had what I think was crack a week later. The driver was new to me and when he offered me the pipe my girlfriend (she introduced me to the people) & the guy I was dating both yelled NO! This time I did NOT take umbrage at being told what I could & couldn’t do.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. To paraphrase the late, great Robin Williams in one of his sketches– pot is only a performance-enhancing drug if you put a giant candy bar at the finish line.

    Liked by 2 people

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