Never mind the fact there are no facts to the latest stupid bullshit coming out of the GOP, but in their latest propaganda to remove blame from their cult leader and themselves, Republicans new culprit responsible for the attack on the United States Capitol complex is….the Federal Bureau of Investigations.

Upon first hearing this, I thought it was the type of stuff coming from the Qanon crowd who make up silly crazy shit like Jewish space lasers, Hugo Chavez voting machines, George Soros’ migrant caravans, Satanic baby-eating pedophiles working for Hillary, Trump won, Ted Cruz (ew) is a human and not some amalgamated-lizard-human type thing, etc. Shit like that. But it’s actually coming from people in positions where they should be more responsible.

It started with the right-wing website, Revolver News. No, I never heard of them before either, probably because they publish shit like this. But, it was quickly picked up by Tucker Carlson, which was then picked up by Republicans in Congress who official entered the conspiracy theory into the Congressional Record.

To refrain from using the word “shit” one more time in today’s blog, we’ll just say it’s all bull-hockey, which I think means “bullshit.” Aw, crap. Anyway…

Revolver is not a real news site. Of course, Tucker Carlson isn’t a real journalist and those Republicans in Congress pushing conspiracy theories aren’t real public servants. Revolver News has also published vaccine horror stories, an article that First Lady Jill Biden has talked to Joe in a “bitchy fashion,” and another claiming Biden’s dog, Champ, faked his death to infiltrate Oath Keepers. OK, I might have made one of those up.

This new false flag comes after other Republican false flags concerning the attack on the Capitol have failed. False flags like it was Antifa, Black Lives Matter, or even Democrats. It’s funny that Trump supporters celebrated the attack while simultaneously blaming other people.

This new belief is based on court records that mention “unindicted co-conspirators.” Several indictments against Capitol rioters who are accused of planning the attack with extremist groups include references to unindicted co-conspirators. The Revolver article claimed these co-conspirators could actually be FBI informants or undercover agents who infiltrated the groups, played a leading role in planning the attack, and stormed the Capitol.

The one thing that really pisses me off is that this fucknut right-wing website had to name itself after The Beatles’ very best album, Revolver. It’s when George truly blossomed as a song writer, Goddamn you, Revolver News!

The FBI may have infiltrated groups like Oath Keepers, Proud Boys, and Qanon. I hope they have. But that doesn’t mean they staged the attack on the Capitol.

Ross Garber, a Tulane University law professor and former CNN legal analyst, said, “This theory makes the erroneous assumption that unindicted co-conspirators are government agents. Federal agents acting within the scope of their duties are never considered unindicted co-conspirators because by definition they aren’t conspiring with the alleged bad guys.”

What he’s saying is, Tucker Carlson and Republican members of Congress don’t understand how shit works.

Tucker spent 12 minutes talking about this conspiracy theory in a segment that attracted over three million viewers. He even interviewed the editor of Revolver, Darren Beattie, who used to be a Trump speech writer until he got caught attending a conference with white nationalists.

Sidebar time: Remember when Tucker asked, “What is ‘white supremacy?” and played dumb time and time again that his show is the number one show and most favorit-o of white supremacists? Yeah, and then he interviews a white supremacists whose arguments he shares and promotes. Sidebar over.

On his show, Tucker said, without any proof, “FBI operatives were organizing the attack on the Capitol on January 6. It turns out that this ‘white supremacist insurrection’ was…again, by the government’s own admission in these documents…was organized at least in part by government agents.”

No, Tucker, you racists-loving racist. The government did NOT admit that. Does Tucker know how to comprehend anything?

Also, did you notice how Tucker tried to take the blame off “white supremacists” again? Why is it so important to these people to defend racists? If it’s not Donald Trump saying there were “good people” marching with tiki-torch Nazis, it’s Tucker trying to take blame off white nationalists for a bloody coup attempt. What is “white supremacy”? You got a mirror, don’t you, Tucker?

But you know, if they really want to go down this rabbit hole, then let’s go down this rabbit hole. Let’s have an independent commission to investigate this. You know that thing the Democrats in Congress wanted, then gave the Republicans everything they demanded before they could for it but still voted against? Yeah, let’s have one of those.

You would think if Tucker really wanted to get to the bottom of this and find out who was really to blame for the Capitol attack, he’d use his show to call for an independent commission to investigate the attack.

Of course, he doesn’t want to do that. Why? Because we know who attacked the Capitol. We know who tried to overturn a democratically-held election. We know who engaged in a bloody coup attempt. We know who tried to install Donald Trump as a dictator.

But what Tucker and Republicans are really afraid of is that an independent investigation may reveal names of people in Congress. In fact, the FBI has questioned defendants about their communications, connections, and coordination with members of Congress.

Here’s a fun read: In the Fourteenth Amendment, Section three, it says, “No Person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof.”

In case you’re a Republican, that means people like Ted Cruz (ew) and Josh Hawley (a horse called and he wants his face back), who supported the insurrectionists, can’t be in the Senate. That means Lauren Boebert, who tweeted locations of members of Congress during the attack, can’t be in the House. There are many more members of Congress who “gave aid and comfort” to the enemies of the United States of America.

It’s not the FBI who conspired to overturn the government. It was Republicans. Do you know why Republicans are so resistant to call the insurrection an “insurrection?” Because it’s their insurrection. It failed. Now, they’re afraid of being caught.

The attack on the Capitol was a terrorist attack against our nation. It wasn’t just against our government but also our democracy. It was an attack on our values which Republicans don’t share anymore. These terrorists were white nationalists. They were racists. They were Fox News viewers. They were Tucker fans. They were Donald Trump supporters.

Members of the FBI are not co-conspirators. That distinction belongs to Donald Trump and Tucker Carlson. Donald and Tucker are the true enemies of the United States. Also, whoever wrote that Kars4Kids jingle.

Honestly, I only know two phones numbers, Kars4Kids and J.G. Wentworth.

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