Democrats

Conspiracy Pox


cjones03102020

I would really love it if Democrats would stop sounding like Donald Trump supporters.

It’s bad enough that Vladimir Putin is helping Bernie Sanders because he believes that’s the best way to help Donald Trump. It’s just as bad that Bernie Bro’s are online dicks and trolls. And then, you even have Bernie complaining about the “establishment.”

Let’s make something perfectly clear. There is no grand conspiracy to “steal” the nomination from Bernie Sanders. Before Super Tuesday, he only had 58 delegates. That’s a long way from securing the nomination. Nobody is rigging the system against Bernie. And to show you just how stupid it is to play the conspiracy game about the DNC and Bernie, Donald Trump called the endorsements from Amy Klobuchar, Pete Buttigieg, and Beto O’Rourke a “coup” against Bernie.

Congratulations, Democratic conspiracy theorists. You’re on the same level of thinking and paranoia as Donald Trump. Voting or endorsing is not a coup. It’s democratic. It’s politics. Bernie would have to be the leader of the party and then thrown out in an illegal manner for it to be a coup. Donald Trump’s excuse for not knowing the definition of a coup is that he’s Donald Trump. If you’re a Democrat, you don’t have an excuse.

Donald Trump sandwiches his conspiracy theories about the DNC between his conspiracy theories about Ukraine election meddling and his conspiracy theories about Covid-19 being out to get him. Don’t be like Trump. You’re supposed to be better than that.

You don’t need a conspiracy to believe the majority of the party rejects a socialist who isn’t a member of the party. You don’t need a conspiracy theory that the majority doesn’t want to run a socialist against Donald Trump. You need a conspiracy theory to believe Beto O’Rourke, who is no longer in Congress, is a failed Senate candidate, and a failed presidential candidate represents the establishment.

The DNC didn’t give Joe Biden a huge win Tuesday night. Democratic voters did. If you really believe black voters, who solidly supported Joe Biden, are the establishment, then I challenge you to put that on a T-Shirt and sell it.

What happened Tuesday night may not have even been a sound rejection of Bernie Sanders as much as it was a mandate that the majority of voters are ready to move on to the nominee and start the campaign against Donald Trump. I don’t think there’s better proof of that than Elizabeth Warren coming in third in Massachusetts.

No, her constituents don’t hate her. They’re not sexist. They’re ready to move on. They saw that Warren doesn’t stand a chance to get the nomination so they put their eggs in baskets where they thought they’d be used better. Basically, her voters in her state didn’t view her as a candidate anymore. Hell, most of them would probably prefer her but she’s no longer in the game. Maybe on Tuesday, she finally got that message.

I like Bernie. I like Elizabeth. I would prefer one of them over Biden. But I get it. The party wants to move. And, you don’t have to like it. Just deal with reality. The thing is, it’s not important if Bernie, Liz or Joe is the President of the United States of America. What’s important is that Donald Trump is not. That’s the reality you need to get.

Take this from a guy who shouts at his television and talks to himself along with inanimate objects: Stop talking like you’re in the Trump cult…or I’ll call the truck and have them take you away.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Vote Blue No Matter Who Except You Know Who


cjones03012020

Recently, Nikki Haley, former South Carolina governor and ambassador to the United Nations tweeted, “It is amazing that a liberal socialist won in Iowa and New Hampshire. The idea that we would give up the freedoms our veterans fought and died for. Other countries have to be scratching their heads wondering what we are thinking.”

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call gaslighting, which is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual (I got that from Wikipedia). Gaslighting also targets history and people’s memory, like the economy wasn’t great before Trump came along. It’s also a great example of how someone can go to work every day and not learn a damn thing.

Nikki was ambassador to the United Nations. She was surrounded by foreign ambassadors and diplomats on a daily basis. And yet, she never noticed that basically, every single one of our allies are the types of governments Bernie Sanders, that liberal socialist, is campaigning for. A lot of these are the same allies who fought with us in the past. They’re not scratching their heads wondering how people can vote for Bernie Sanders. If anything, they’re scratching their heads wondering what took us so long. Or, they’re scratching their heads wondering why we fought to defeat the Nazis and now have a president (sic) who defends them. Or maybe just maybe they’re scratching their heads wondering how someone who warned us about following the “siren call of the angriest voices” could end up selling her her soul for Donald Trump’s siren call. Seriously, Nikki Haley. We don’t need no freaking lectures from you, you gaslighting, ignorant sellout.

Gaslighting is also warning that Democratic Socialism is the same as Venezuela when the fact is, it’s what they’re doing in Canada, the United Kingdom, Norway, Iceland, Sweden, Finland, the Netherlands, Denmark, etc. The don’t mention that the top ten countries rated on “happiness,” are Finland, Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Netherlands, Switzerland, Sweden, New Zealand, Canada, and Australia. Either it’s the snow, smaller populations (fewer assholes), and maybe it’s the socialist programs. In case you haven’t noticed, and if you’re a Trump cultist then you haven’t but all of these countries are liberal.

We are already a socialist system. It’s just that our socialism works in the best interest of the rich. And when you hear conservatives warn about candidates promising “free stuff,” they’re the same people who voted for a racist asshole promising them a free wall.

And what is free and what isn’t? College shouldn’t be free but we should have a free military? Healthcare shouldn’t be free but we should have free nuclear weapons? C’mon, people. Nothing is free. We’re paying for it. Free college is out of the question but we can’t even discuss that we spend nearly $700 billion a year on our military? And when you hear people complaining about “poor” people on welfare, they’re ignoring the fact that we spend double on corporate welfare than we spend on food stamps and housing assistance. When someone’s complaining about welfare, it’s not really the welfare they have a problem with. I’ll give you one guess what really bothers them.

Yesterday, a Facebook “friend” posted a meme that Bernie is going to tax everyone who makes at least $29,000 a year at 52%. They took the 52% from what Bernie said about people making over $10 million. And get this: The person who posted that is a Democrat.

So for the past four years, Democrats and liberals have been attacking Bernie Sanders and his supporters for not voting and giving enough support to Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party after she secured the nomination. Fair enough. I think they could have been more supportive also. During this primary season, Democrats have been chanting “vote blue no matter who.” They have the idea that Bernie won’t win the nomination so his supporters better accept the idea now to support whoever does get it. I agree. Every Democrat should get used to the idea of supporting whoever gets the nomination. That also means you need to support the nominee if that person is Bernie Sanders.

Sure, it may be hard to beat Donald Trump with a candidate they can malign as the next Hugo Chavez, but remember, we were able to elect a black man with a Muslim father from Africa who has a name that rhymes with “Osama.” Can we elect Bernie Sanders? Yes, we can.

If you disagree with Bernie’s policies, that’s fine. If you want to scream at me about them, go ahead. But stop lying. Tell the truth. Don’t act like you’re in the Trump cult. And, if you’re on Bernie’s side, don’t act like a troll.

Democrats, socialists, liberals, and blues need to support each other. Go ahead and fight right now. Do it honestly. And when the time comes, support the nominee. And if Bernie’s the nominee, then it doesn’t matter what Bernie wants to do with Medicare or public education right now. What matters most is getting rid of Donald Trump.

I still haven’t made up my mind on who I’m voting for on Super Tuesday. But I’m leaning toward Bernie.

The way I see it, it’s the most honest and ethical vote for me. I liked him in 2016 but I voted for Hillary Clinton in the primary. This time, I’m voting for the most honest and ethical candidate on the ballot. This is a second chance and I’ll probably never be able to vote for someone this honest and ethical ever again. He’s had the same positions his entire life.

That said, I don’t think I’m a Bernie Bro. I don’t like the trolling. I don’t like the attitude of his supporters. Quite frankly, there’s not a lot of distance between your tactics and those of the Trump cult. But you are not Bernie. And also unlike you, if Bernie doesn’t win the nomination, I’ll still be voting for the Democratic candidate to defeat Donald Trump.

For me, voting blue no matter who is real. It really doesn’t matter who.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Lemony Bloomberg


CNN02232020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Someone said something close to “no one has ever lost as much money in one night in Las Vegas than Michael Bloomberg.” The guy has spent millions of his own money running for president only to be eviscerated by Elizabeth Warren.

While Warren successfully tore Bloomberg down, it doesn’t seem to have helped her with gaining delegates. Sure, her donations increased, but she’s still trailing nearly all the other candidates. It’s kinda like when Christ Christie destroyed Marco Rubio in a debate and the only person it helped was Donald Trump. Hell, Trump didn’t even make the guy his veep (which he expected) or give him a cabinet position. But I understand he did get some meatloaf and the opportunity to make fast food runs for Trump.

Yesterday, I made a post that Bloomberg is my top choice among the Democratic candidates…based upon my ability to caricature them. That confused people and sent many into a panic. C’mon, people. If I was going to vote based upon how easy it is to draw them and give me material, I’d be voting for Trump and would have voted for him in 2016. But there’s no way in Hell that I would ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever cast a vote for Michael Bloomberg.

Unless he’s the nominee against Donald Trump.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Putin Puppet History


cjones12222019

Republicans, including Donald Trump, claimed history won’t be kind to Democrats for the way they’ve treated Trump. In case you haven’t noticed, Republicans suck at history. Hell, they suck with their own history.

Here’s what we know: Vladimir Putin and Russia helped Donald Trump win the election. Russia meddled. Donald Trump knew Russia was helping him. His campaign even invited Russians into his campaign headquarters. Did they ever call the FBI? Nope. Instead, they scream about the FBI’s surveillance on suspected Russian spies and they never say anything about the suspects. His campaign tried to establish a back-channel with Moscow. Donald Trump has never voiced any opposition to Putin meddling in the 2016 election. History will remember all of this.

Republicans know Russia meddled. Instead of attacking Russia, they’re attacking the FBI, Democrats, and helping Vladimir Putin spread a conspiracy theory he created that Ukraine meddled in our election. It was reported this morning Trump’s “evidence” that Ukraine meddled in our election, according to a White House aide, is because “Putin told me.” History will remember this.

During a news conference this week in Moscow, Putin said stuff echoed by Moscow Mitch McConnell and other Republicans.

Vladimir Putin said the impeachment charges against Trump are “completely made up.” Putin also said, “The Democratic Party, which lost the elections, is now trying to revise this history through the means that they have at their disposal, first by accusing Trump of collusion with Russia. But then it turned out there was no collusion. It could not form the basis for impeachment, and now there is this made-up pressure on Ukraine,” said the guy who invaded, stole Crimea from, and created conspiracy theories about Ukraine.

Putin also said, “It’s unlikely they will want to remove their party member from office based on what are, in my opinion, completely fabricated reasons.” Putin’s argument was echoed repeatedly by Republicans on Wednesday before the vote to impeach Donald Trump. History will remember Republicans were in lockstep with a Russian tyrant who attacked their country.

Republicans point out the vote was totally partisan while missing the fact that every single member of one party voting the same is in itself partisan. History will remember this. As more facts come out about Trump’s corruption and probably encouraging more nations to help his campaign, history will remember the entire Republican Party became a cult and put idol worship before their nation.

History will remember that several Democrats from congressional districts Trump won put country first and bravely voted for impeachment. History will remember there wasn’t one single Republican in Congress willing to stand up for his/her nation.

History will remember Putin predicted exactly what the Republican Senate would do. Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, and Ted Cruz proclaim loudly that they are not impartial witnesses and will conduct a sham trial, then saying it’s “comical” Nancy Pelosi is holding off sending them the impeachment for them to conduct their sham trial. History will remember that.

History will remember the president of the United States, who is currently pushing back on a wide-ranging piece of legislation meant to deter and punish Putin’s aggression and his interference in the 2016 election and has called for Russia to be readmitted to the G8, is Putin’s puppet. History will also record that the entirety of the Republican congress is Putin’s puppet.

What’s up to Republicans in the United States Senate is if history will record that every single one of them was also Putin’s Puppet.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Beto’s Gun Ban


CNN09152019

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I admit it. The comments on my social media are mostly an echo chamber so I knew this one wouldn’t get that many shares. It’s gotten plenty of comments though.

A lot of people who do agree with Beto O’Rourke about going after assault rifles also believe he handed the GOP and Donald Trump a gift. But, there are also liberals who not only don’t have a problem with Beto saying this, but want it screamed from the rooftops. I think we can respectfully disagree. I mean, it’s not like we’re discussing Bernie.

One of my readers made a comment under this cartoon on my Facebook post. I liked it so much, I’m stealing it. Talking about how Republicans are more motivated to vote than Democrats, my friend Lex said, “90-year-old right-wing grannies will crawl to the polls. 110-year-old right-wing mummies will crawl out of their graves.”

I didn’t have to draw that many roughs for CNN this week. It was kinda like last week. Usually, we’re doing the ideas on Thursday but this week, we waited until Friday because of the debate. I was feeling some stress but this idea was approved by noon.

I felt I was only sending duds to my editors…and I was. So, I took a step back, which is hard to do when you’re feeling stressed to deliver and there’s a deadline. I took a shower and while there was soap in my hair and eyes, this hit me. You might, but I don’t normally think about Beto O’Rourke or guns when I’m wet and naked (Republicans think about guns and AOC).

I sketched out a rough while wearing a towel (the same thing happened with a song idea years ago, and I wrote the tune while wearing a towel). Within a couple minutes of receiving it, my editor approved it. He was probably fully clothed.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Digging Morbid Holes


cjones09022019

In 2009, after she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Senator Jim Bunning said, “Even though she was operated on, usually nine months is the longest that anybody would live.” Bunning was openly licking his chops at the opportunity to get rid of a Supreme Court justice as liberal as Ginsburg. Today, Bunning is dead and Ginsburg is still very much alive. Most Republicans salivating at the opportunity of her seat being filled by Donald Trump aren’t open about it. Others, not so much.

Last January, during a segment on Fox & Friends, a graphic aired showing Ginsburg’s photo along with “1933 – 2019.” They’re not very subtle over there at Fox & Friends.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has openly stated that if an opening occurs on the court in 2020, that he’d fill it, despite blocking President Obama’s nominee in 2016 with the argument it would be a cardinal sin to fill a seat during an election year. McConnell wasn’t just asked at a forum about an opening, the question was if a justice “dies.”

Last January, on the racist, alt-right podcast that you didn’t even know existed, Fash the Nation, hosts Jazzhands McFeels and Marcus Halberstram (is his name really “Jazzhands”?), were giddy over another Ginsburg cancer scare and said they “have the champagne on ice and the crab dance [meme] ready to go” when she dies. The crab dance is a reference to the 2018 celebratory “Crab Rave” song and they posted memes on Twitter of a crab lurking behind the Justice. Other racists joined in sharing memes of Ginsburg and crabs and once again, making liberals wonder what the hell they’re talking about. Republicans suck at humor and metaphors.

I think conservatives should take a lesson from Jim Bunning and think twice before speculating on the health of Ginsburg, or they may be the ones looking over their shoulders in fear of getting the pinch (see what I did there, conservatives? That’s how you do it).

There’s little doubt Republicans were feeling giddy upon hearing news this weekend that Ginsburg underwent another procedure to remove cancer. I’m also certain every liberal in the nation had heart fluctuations.

It’s not just morbid to speculate on and hope for ill health for Ginsburg. It’s cruel and disgusting. It’s also disgusting to hope the economy goes south to help your chances of winning an election. But, it’s not morbid to speculate on the economy. We’re always speculating on the economy.

Donald Trump faces a tough re-election in 2020 for reasons outside the economy. Mostly because he’s a vile, disgusting, racist, stupid human being who’s doing a lousy job as president and is an international embarrassment to the United States. But, if the economy goes down, so does Trump. I feel safe in saying there’s no way Donald Trump’s presidency can survive an economic downturn. If a recession hits before the election (and it will eventually hit), other Republicans will wish they had jumped into the presidential race.

The real questions about a recession are: When will it hit and how hard? I don’t want a recession and I think Trump can be defeated without one. Trust me on this; we don’t need an even bigger mess left by Trump for a Democrat to clean up.

I also hope Ginsburg stays in her seat as long as she wants, even after a Democrat enters the Oval Office. It’s not just her seat that’s so important, it’s her.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is an American hero and whoever is nominated, whether by a Republican or Democrat, has huge shoes to fill.

It’s tough to make predictions on the economy or vacancies on the Supreme Court, but one call easy to make with bullseye accuracy is that Republicans will continue to be heartless troglodytes.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Nixon Derangement Syndrome


cjones06172019

John Dean, the former White House Counsel for Richard Nixon, testified last week before the House Judiciary Committee about the parallels between the obstruction of Nixon and Donald Trump. Republicans were livid. How dare he compare the corruption and lies of Nixon to the corruption and lies of Trump? What the hell makes John Dean qualified to talk about corruption in the Trump White House?

Who the hell is he? He’s an expert witness on obstruction, that’s who he is. During his tenure, he oversaw FBI interviews with White House employees to keep their stories straight. He plotted with Nixon on the coverup. He was present when Nixon discussed the $1 million hush payment to the Watergate burglarers.

What are the parallels? Nixon asked his chief aide HR Haldeman to have the CIA direct the FBI to halt its investigation into the break-in. Trump asked James Comey to end the Russia investigation.

Nixon fired the Special Prosecutor in a failed attempt to end the Watergate investigation. Trump fired the FBI director in a failed attempt to end the Russia investigation.

Nixon dangled pardons. Trump has and is dangling pardons.

After Dean pled guilty to obstruction, Nixon called him a liar. Trump has called his former White House Counsel, Don McGhan, a liar.

Nixon said, “it’s not illegal if the president does it.” Trump fully believes he’s above the law.

Nixon said, “I am not a crook.” Donald Trump is a crook.

Republicans are sick of Trump being compared to Nixon. But just like they get upset about having their racism pointed out, the reason Trump is compared to Nixon so much is that Trump is repeating Nixon’s corruption.

But, since they don’t like corrupt Trump being compared to corrupt Nixon, let’s point out their differences.

Nixon could read. Nixon hired competent people. Nixon had a dog. Nixon never moved on women “like a bitch.” He never grabbed anyone by the vagina. He never barged into the locker rooms of teenage beauty contestants. He never raw-dogged a porn star. He never openly talked about dating his daughter. He never considered Canadian cheese a threat to our national security.

Nixon was also smart. He knew how the government worked. He appreciated NATO. He understood that Russia was an adversary. Nixon could tell the difference between friends and foes. Nixon couldn’t be easily swayed by flattery, parades, and sword dances. Nixon never tried to hijack a holiday to turn it into a Nixon rally.

Richard Nixon was a horrible person. So is Donald Trump. Perhaps the most horrible people right now are those who continue to defend Trump.

The greatest difference between Nixon and Trump is that Republicans finally decided to hold Nixon accountable. Today’s Republicans have put the cult of Trump before their party and even their nation. They defend treasonous behavior while defending Trump. They will never hold Trump accountable for the security of our nation.

The one thing we can hope for is that eventually they’ll have another thing in common, and that’s being removed from office.

The rough.

This was one of the ideas submitted to CNN for this week’s opinion newsletter. I threw a lot of roughs at them this week and they could only choose one. You’ll notice the list has changed. I’m kinda sad I took the “weird” hair line out. Honestly, I forgot it. I kinda like the positioning of the placard better in the rough.

CNNrough139

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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